Hearigenstat's will

Beethoven's hearigenstat's will

Beethoven (1770-1827), a German musician. This article is based on Fu Lei's Translation of Beethoven, Fu Lei's collection of articles (Volume 11), Hefei, Anhui People's Publishing House, 1983. The original title is "whether or not alicloud xitai will", which is now edited by the editor. In the suburbs of Vienna, he stayed here.

To my brother Karl and John Beethoven

Oh, you think of me as a hateful, crazy, or cynical person, and you have slander me! You don't know the reason for hiding in those appearances! Since my childhood, my heart and spirit have always been compassionate. Even I am always ready to do some great work. But you think, how bad I have been in six years. Doctors without a mind have deepened my illness. Year after year, I was cheated, leaving my hopes for improvement empty, and finally had to see a "persistent illness", even if the recovery was not completely hopeless, it also takes a long time. I was forced to separate myself from humans and live a lonely life. If I want to overcome this problem sometimes, oh! This miserable experience has always blocked the road! But I can't say, "Speak louder and yell, because I am a deaf man !" Ah! How can I let people know that my "one kind of senses" is faulty? This kind of senses should be especially superior to others, I used to have a better sense than anyone in the music world! -- Oh! I cannot do this! -So if you see me alone, please forgive me because I want to be with people. My disaster is a double headache for me, because I am misunderstood. In the group transition, in the subtle conversations, I am not allowed to comfort each other in their complaints. Lonely, completely lonely. The more I need to show up in society, the more I cannot take risks. I can only live the life of the dead. If I approached a group, my heart would be torn apart, lest people discover my illness.
So I have lived in the country for six months recently. My brilliant doctor advised me to protect my hearing as much as possible. However, when I thought it was not close to society, I couldn't help but go. But when the people next to me hear the sound of a flute in the distance and "I can't hear", or "he heard the shepherd song" and I have nothing to hear, it's really humiliating! This kind of experience almost left me in despair: My will not commit suicide is also an issue. -- "It's art", it's just art that keeps me. Ah! I don't think I can leave this world until I have completed all my missions. In this way, I always stick to this miserable-it is really miserable-life. If this is a weak body, some minor changes will make the health of the body into a disease! -- "Patience !" -- People say this. Now I can only use it as my guide. I already have patience. -- I hope that my determination to resist will be supported for a long time until the heartless death will cut my living gland. -- Maybe this is better, maybe not: in short, I have finished it. -- At the age of 28, it was not easy for me to break through everything. To maintain this attitude, it is more difficult for an artist than others.
God! You see my heart in the sky, you know it, you know it holds love for mankind, holding good volunteers! Oh, man, if one day you read this, don't forget that you were unfair to me. I hope the unfortunate person will see a person suffering the same as him, regardless of the natural obstacles, we do our best to lie down in the ranks of artists and outstanding people, so that we can masturbate.
You, my brothers Karl and John. After I die, if Professor himité is still alive, I will ask him in my name to give a detailed description of my illness, adding this letter to my medical history makes my society feel as good as possible after I die. -- At the same time, I admit that you are the successors of some of my small profits. The public will be evenly distributed, in harmony, and with each other. You have forgiven me for the damage you have caused me. You, brother Karl, thank you very much for your recent loyalty to me. I hope you will enjoy a happier life, not as full of troubles as I do. It is my experience to teach your children "virtue": to make people happy is virtue rather than money. What supports me in suffering is morality, which makes me never commit suicide. It is also morality except Art. -- No, love each other! -- I would like to thank all of my friends, especially Prince Norski of Lee and Professor himiit. -- I hope that the Instrument II of Lee's North will be in the hands of any of you. But do not argue for it. You don't have to hesitate to sell it. How happy I would be if I could help you in the grave!
If so, I will fly to death with joy. -- Death came before I could develop all my senses, so even though I had a long way of life, I still thought it was too early. I pray that it will ease its appearance. -- Even so, I am happy. Does it free me from endless pains? -- When Will death come? I will welcome you bravely. -- No, never forget me completely in my death; I miss you, because I often miss you and want to make you happy. Hope you are happy!

Rutvik van Beethoven
March October 6, 1802

Give my brother Karl and John the split and execute after I die.

Alinetachité, January 1, October 10, 1802. -In this way, I say goodbye to you.-Of course, it is very sad. -- Yes, my hopes -- at least some hope of recovery, abandoned me. As if the leaves of the Fall were shaking and withered-I hoped that they would also wither and perish. It's almost the same as when I came. -- I went. -- Even with the greatest courage-I have been supported for many times in the wonderful summer, and it is gone. -- Oh, the omnipotent Lord, give me a pure day of happiness! -- How long have I not heard the far-reaching voice of joy! -- Oh! When? Oh, God! When can I feel joy in the temple of nature and humanity? -- Never? -- No! -- Oh! This is cruel!

① I would like to give some comments about this painful sigh, for which no one has ever mentioned it. We all know that at the end of Chapter 2 of the Pastoral Symphony, the band played the song of Nightingale, Cuckoo, and quail, And the whole symphony was made up of natural singing and slang. Scientists have made a lot of arguments to decide whether to approve of this kind of attempt to imitate music. No one noticed that Beethoven was not imitating him. Since he could not hear anything, he could only create a world where he was already dead. This makes the part of the music that calls the birds to sing so touching. The only way to hear them is to make them sing in his heart. -- Original note
② It refers to the piano that Lee gave to him. -- Translator's note

(Fu Lei)