[Reprinted] We must be imperfect ourselves.

From small to large, we have all been instilled in the idea of winning the ideas of others. Gradually fall into the strange circle of perfectionist, and strive to be precise and ignore the global, slowly exhausting themselves and losing their nature. Today, we must overcome the perfectionist, redo ourselves, and applaud ourselves for the imperfections.

Perfectionist is the biggest enemy of creativity, productivity, and a clear mind. In the artist's path, author Julia Cameron wrote: "perfectionist is actually an obstacle that can hold you back. It is a strange circle-a closed system that forces you to be unable to extricate yourself from the details you have written and made everyone exhausted by the loss of global concepts ." But you don't have to create anything for the pursuit of perfection, it just makes you struggling. Perfectionist will also confuse you as a mother, wife, friend, and mortal for your own efforts. This is because everything in our defective world is not perfect.

I am also trying to overcome perfectionist every day. Although my heart will be clearly occupied by perfectionist in most days, I still believe that I am constrained at least now, as I used to fear a little error all day long. The following are ten skills to freely live and create in an imperfect world like me.

1. Avoid competition.

Life is no longer difficult. Don't make yourself more difficult to live. Most perfectionists are excited ...... For them perfection means to be the best in everything. Therefore, please select friends and teams wisely. For example, some professional organizations, such as professional writers and distribution groups, can be a powerful backing and may be fiercely competitive. If you are a perfectionist, there is no need to remind you of those words, and your mind is lingering: "Unless you are absolutely successful, you will be useless ...... What you can't do, I will do it !" Try to do this: Check your heartbeat frequency before the stress meeting, and do it after the meeting. If the heartbeat has been accelerated for more than 10 times, do not return to the meeting room!

2. Establish rules.

People certainly cannot avoid all competition. Therefore, we need to develop some rules. Now, for me, in a period of lack of security, we need to do something to make myself feel better. I can take a look at it. For some time, I have avoided viewing the "most popular blog", "most popular email reference posts", and "most popular features" tags on the Belief Network Homepage, if I couldn't find my name in these places, I wouldn't be able to suppress the upset and anger of the stomach and wander outside the door. Why torture yourself? Custom Rules: only when I clearly identify myself as an individual rather than a knowledgeable blogger can I browse the homepage of Belief Network. What are the results? I haven't browsed this homepage for months!

3. practical test.

Think about it. unrealistic expectations are like the vase wife of the idealist. They often appear in pairs. So I will try my best to identify what is practical and what is unrealistic expectations. I will (select a day) write them on a piece of paper or in my mind, and then modify them about 2,035 times that day. The following is an example of "unrealistic expectations": "The best-selling bibliography is drawn in the New York Times at night in half an hour of free time ", "Guide mothers with 31 children and participate in each of their outdoor trips" and "Train the triathlon to the hip burst limit ". Under the "actual expectation" entry, I will list it as follows: "Thirty hours of work have done quality things for thirty hours." I forgot to become a mother guide, one month at any time to listen to David's class and accompany him with lunch ", and" Forget the triathlon exercise, stick to a Thursday full body consumption exercise to maintain the excitement of the brain and body." Over and over again these may bring me closer to my ambitious goals (to be a good mom, a competent blogger, and a healthy person) can make my body and body truly free.

4. Return to the calm moment.

At the invitation of the editor of Belief Network, we described our "inner moments of peace" some time ago. We felt that we were far away from fear and reached the peaceful place through the Red Sea of anxiety. I have experienced such a moment. When I was in my sophomore year, I was frustrated and drunk for three years. I quietly stood on a wasteland outside the main entrance of the loratá church, where Eric proposed to me four years later. I begged God to help me quit the heavy-duty drinking habits and establish good conduct. I remember looking down at the St. Joseph River and raising my hands above my head, my heart was completely calm.

I have learned that the true meaning of all the moments of inner peace is nothing more than this: ordinary things are less than the hearts of others. As Henry Norway said:

Deep in our hearts, it seems clear that achievement, fame, influence, power, and money cannot be exchanged for pure joy and silence as a child. Sometimes, you may even feel jealous of others who have been deprecated. Yes, sometimes we seem to have tasted the unspeakable joy when we see that others are happy without asking for anything.

5. Be willing to show weakness.

This is against nature for most perfectionists. But I promise you that trying to show your weaknesses will bring you a positive impact. Every time I skip the perfectionist image with great determination in front of loyal readers and show the weak side-crying and trembling at the scene or in the video-the response is unimaginable. They said to me, "float cloud! You are real. We also have this feeling! So I think it will not crash when I experience the same scenario ." As long as I follow the advice of his wise Editor-writing from the perspective of my true feelings rather than my ideal-my readers no longer feel hypocritical and upset. I have a closer relationship with them.

6. Failed to celebrate.

Well, the celebration is a "difficult word" here ". Then begin by accepting your own failures. I think every major mistake deserves a toast. This is because the rare lessons learned after every big mistake cannot be learned after success. On the contrary, awkwardly ...... These are equipment to help people discover treasures. As Leonardo cohe wrote in his song, a friend knocked on his computer and reminded him to play down the perfectionist "song ":

Ring the bells that can also be heard,
Forget your rich sacrifices.
All things have cracks, and light can be transmitted.

7. add colors.

Perfectionists are not sensitive to colors. They only see black and white worlds. For example, you can either become a top-level blogger in the blog field or drop your iMac computer into the chesapik Bay to become a brother on the water (in fact, they are doing a great job ). Either the most active activist at David's school, or an incompetent parent, it is better to have other more competent mothers adopt their sons. Are these ideas familiar? To recognize the essence of our perfectionist, we must add color to every link, every thing, and every goal: Learn to calmly cope with chaotic life like a child, unresolved issues and various complex environments that must be faced. To add color to your life, you must realize that even the perfect solution to the problem yesterday may not be applicable to today.

8. Break down the problem.

"Procrastination is also a manifestation of perfectionist. It is because most of us are afraid of making mistakes that we are too late to start a career. I spent more than a year writing my autobiography. As a matter of fact, I was reading the chapter about procrastination in his book "practice as self-esteem on the tenth day" by Dr. David Burns. I couldn't write a damn word until he corrected my bad habit. "One of the secrets of energy-efficient people is that they never solve one problem at a time. On the contrary, they try to break down the tasks and solve one small problem each day ."

In the exercise section of that chapter, Dr. Burns suggested several important steps. For example, the chores that I want to solve first do not include sitting in front of a computer. From the very beginning, I had to make overall arrangements for all the tasks-the tasks I had shelved in the drawer and coat pockets. Next, he suggested that you set the start time and observe it on time. Third, he prompts you to record the expected problems. I wrote it like this: "I am overwhelmed. I cannot make such negative sounds, short-circuit thinking, and Cognitive fatigue when my brain is full ." Finally, burns encourages you to find ways to deal with things that may disturb your attention. I wrote: "As long as you choose a distant place, you will only take care of the wind and rain ."

9. Be yourself.

In the book "keep perfect", Anna kuntland shows that "keep perfect" is a kind of opportunistic and effortless behavior: "what you really need to do is to study the spirit of the times in which you are exactly located, and in accordance with the requirements of the spirit of the times to bring a perfect mask in line with the secret."

Anna also asserted that the greatest challenge to overcome perfectionist lies in the person himself. Because "all important, significant, beautiful, or interesting, great things are nothing more than plagiarism ." I agree. I am also a writer. I used to escape originality. Instead, I wrote a book and a book from other writers. Self-createdCompositionThe word pleasure satisfaction is self-evident.

10. Self-redemption.

Self-redemption is indeed elusive. It is the most terrible thing you have ever done in your life to face your heart. However, only in this way can you see the deep compassion under every scar. If this desperate black hole journey has taught me what it is: Everything is made up of time, such as persistence in faith, hope, love, and cherish the environment, one day you will see yourself shining. God will not abandon anyone, so the people, things, and memories you never remember will not all disappear. Everything has its own life cycle, so don't always think about it as your own.