Share some jokes

A gentleman's eyes were not good. He went to the mall to buy food one day. He first bought a chicken and went to the booth where he sold the sword.
'Excuse me, how much is a kilo of swordfish ."
Even the eyes of the other party are not very good: "Look at your eyes, you still play with the e !!!"

What is the difference between jumping off the second floor and jumping down on the 20th floor?
On the 20th floor, I jumped down and ah! Hey ~~!
Jump down on the second floor ~~! Ah ah!

 

A soldier fell down heavily when repairing the wire rod and explained, "a squirrel got into my crotch. I
No worries. Then the second squirrel got into my pants, and I was not worried, but when I heard one of them
Say, 'Let's divide this fruit. 'Then I was scared to fall down ."

 

Teacher: "What can silicon and water reactions generate ??"
One student: "Wang baotang !!"

Blind man riding his own car deaf son ~
The blind man saw a gap in front of him ~ Just shout ~ Gap! Gap! Gap!
The blind man said: Ah le Ah Le ~
The two fell into the ditch together...

 

A friend sold popsicles in the park for the first time in a work-study period.
People shouted there: "selling popsicles ~~~~ Sell popsicles ~~". The friend was so happy that he shouted, "I am also ~~~~ Me too ~~~~".

 

A Tom
Another Tom
Guess animals
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White Rabbit

Two bananas for shopping
The banana in front is very hot, so I took off my coat.
The bananas behind them fell down.

 

It's better to take a closer look.

 

The worm crawled with his mother and suddenly asked her: Mom, Mom, Dad? Alimama turned her head
Xiao Miao said: Oh, your father. He went fishing with the fisherman!

 

You boys have a crush on a girl and are brave enough to ask what kind of boys the girl prefers.
The answer is the same for the "connected" girl.
The boy said with a sigh of relief: "The first flat cannot do it ".

 

Do you understand?
Can you stand upside down?

 

One day, I got angry and caught up with the last bus, while shouting: Master! Master, wait for me ~
Suddenly a famous passenger came out of the window and said to me slowly: Wukong. You should stop chasing

The old fly carries a small fly and eats cow dung. The little fly asks: Mom, why do we eat cow dung every time? "
The old fly immediately slapped the little fly: "Do not ask such a disgusting question during dinner ?"

The elephant put the stool in the center of the road, and an ant was passing.
Looking at the misty peak, I couldn't help singing: ah la Suo, This is the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau !~~~~

 

In the supermarket, a person quietly put his hand on the bar code scanner and saw the screen show: eight yuan trotters, he
I thought the machine was broken, and I put my face together. The result showed: 5 yuan for pig meat.

 

Wake up. It's time to take a sleeping pill!

 

Reporter: "below, please enjoy the songs and dances in Xinjiang -- setting off your head"

 

Four fingers are stretched out and read in English: "four ".
Then I bent my four fingers. How can I read them?
By the way, yes -- "wonderful"

 

MM fought with me, and then I gave in. I stretched out my arm and said, "You can bite me if you are still confused !"
MM: "Sorry, I am a customer !!!"

 

I used to buy two dogs, one with a face, and the other with an ass, but your face ran away in a few days,
Three years later, whenever I saw my dog, I thought: If my face didn't escape ~~~~ Your face should be as big as my ass ~

 

The shark looked at a Ripper and said, "It's really considerate to entertain. Breakfast, plate, and napkin .」

There was an old lady sitting in a chair in the park. A child came over and said, "Is your teeth okay, Mother-in-law ?"
"No, it's all gone ."
The child took out a bag of walnut and said, "Please take it for me. I used to play the ball for a while ......"

Teacher: "How can I tell the hands and feet of an octopus ?" Students: "If you put a fart on it and smell it, you will put your hands on it, and the rest will be your feet.

The doctor asked the patient how the fracture occurred. A: I think there is sand in my shoes, so I shake my shoes with a wire rod. I shake my shoes ...... someone thought I had an electric shock and copied the wooden rod and gave it to me.

 

Bin Laden called Bush: "I have a bad news. Which one do you want to listen to first? "
Bush: "Listen first"
"I surrendered to you."
Bush "okay, what about bad news? "
"I flew in."

 

A new recruit is practicing. The shift leader ordered "Raise your left leg and reach out to the front." Someone stretched out his right leg due to nervousness. The result was the same as the left leg. The squad leader said angrily, "which damn thing has raised both legs ?! "

 

When a farmer fights for the first time, he is afraid of being slaughtered. When he arrives at the station, he takes out a fruit knife and removes his teeth and says, "How much is it? "
I saw the driver pull out a kitchen knife and shave and answer, "Big Brother, let's look at it"