Some girls, like Windows, are very good, but there are too many security risks. Some girls are like UNIX. She has good conditions, but not everyone can play.

Joke 1: Love View
Love is an endless loop, and once executed, it gets stuck.
Falling in love with someone is memory leakage-you can never release it.
When you really fall in love with a person, it is constant limitation and will never change.
My girlfriend is a private variable. Only this class can be called.
The lover must pay attention when using the pointer. Otherwise, it will bring about a huge disaster.

Joke 2: Female
Some women are Windows, although excellent, but the security risk is too great.
Some women are MFC. She has good conditions, but not everyone can play.
Some women are C # very beautiful, but not housework.
Some women are C ++, and they will do a lot of things for you silently.
Some women have to ask for the compilation though it is very troublesome.
Some women are SQL, which will bring great help to your development.

Joke 3: programmers drink
Everyone drinks beer. Now you are seated.
You poured yourself a cup of cola, which is called low configuration.
You poured yourself a beer, which is a standard configuration.
You poured yourself a cup of tea. The color of the tea is the same as that of beer. This is called a Trojan horse.
You poured yourself a cup of cola and a few drops of vinegar, not only in the same color as beer, but also without hot bubbles. This is called a super Trojan.
Your colleague poured you a cup of liquor, which is recommended configuration.

The banquet starts when people arrive.
First, you have a sip. This is called unit test.
You told the people next to you that we were casual. This is called a cross-test.
But he said no, this cup is about to work. This is called stress testing.
So you said, let's get together. This is called internal testing.
At this time, the boss raised a cup to the audience. This is called a public test.

You won't be polite to them after three times.
You salute the opposite person. This is called p2p.
You give a toast to the opposite person, he returns to you, And you respect him again... this is called tcp.
You give a toast to a table. This is called a ring.
You said that this cup was made as long as it was a brother. This is called broadcast.
But your boss, jj, was upset. He only had three drinks. This is a bomb.
However, your subordinate mm was upset. I took a sip and you drank a cup. This is a malicious attack.
One person came over to give a toast to this table. If you say no, you must pass through my firewall first. This is called a firewall.
Your younger siblings come to honor your wine. This is called "one-to-many.
You are a boss. Everyone is here to honor you. This is called a server.

The wine is the same, but the drinking method is different.
You have a drink, and boss has a sip. This is called c #.
You have a drink, and mm has a sip. This is called vb.
You have a cup, and your eldest brother has half a cup. This is called c ++.
You have half a cup, and your younger brother has a cup. This is called assembly.
You have a cup, and your partner has a cup. This is called c.

The wine is the same, but the people who drink alcohol are different.
The blushing you get, the more resources you need to allocate.
The more white your face is, the less resources you need to release.
You are already drunk, but I still can drink it, which is called insufficient resource quota.
You can drink it clearly, but it is called Resource Reservation.
You need to go to the bathroom after drinking for a while. This is called cache.

After three rounds of wine, you should also perform the activity.
You walk at a table. This is called a round tour.
You suddenly saw the beautiful mm of a table, and it went over. This is called priority.
You are not going to go when you sit down. This is an endless loop.
Your boss invited you to the summit and you had to go over. This is a startup event.
If you toast a table, they say no, we all drink white, so you also drink white, this is called localization.
You toast the boss, but the boss is surrounded, you can only stand in the outer ring, this is called queuing.
You have finally reached the inner ring, and proceed with caution. This is called access to the critical section.
You patted boss on the shoulder and said, "Let's have a drink. This is called crossing the border.
You don't know how many times you have been drinking it. You can only say two words. It's called UDP.
But some people ran over with a wine bottle and said they didn't drink with you just now. This is packet loss.

The last result of drinking is the same.
You suddenly ran to the toilet, which is a capture exception.
When you vomit in the toilet, you think the status is good. This is called clearing the memory.
You threw up on the table and felt ashamed. This is a program exception.
You threw up in front of the boss and felt very scared. This is called a system crash.
You spit on the boss and just fainted. This is called hardware shock.

Joke 4: big name
Write the most difficult program,
Use Notepad as an editor,
Compile with the most difficult compiler,
The program does not contain any comments,
There must be at least three classes in the program,
What Is Inheritance? multi-thread? template? inline,
All that can be used for him. Is there while ++ in the last line? : Goto,
In this article, we must move out of XX,
In a casual tone, the relationship looks really good,
If you write a book by yourself, render manager prints "Hello World!" at the beginning of each language! "
A group of professionals ),
Times (children) have feelings,
The programming midfield goes to coffee,
Coffee needs Nestle,
A program can be completed in at most one or two hours,
Finally, let's say, "I have caught a cold recently, Ah ~"
Just one word (child)-cool!

The program you write requires 70 or 80 parameters,
People in the same industry either use C or compile,
If you use VB,
You are embarrassed to say hello to others.

How much money do you have to pay for a month?
I think it would take two thousand?
Two thousand that's the boss!
Five hundred cap!
Don't be too short, or yen.
You need to understand the boss's situation,
The company was operating badly,
You won't be given more money.

What is a programming guru, you know?
What programs do programmers write,
Write the most difficult, not the best.
Therefore, the cainiao's slogan is --
Not easy to use, but hard to understand!

A program compiled by a Senior Programmer to chase girls

#define AND &&

RESULT love(boy, girl)

{
If (boy. Having a room () AND boy. Having a car ())
{
Boy. Set (Nothing );
Return girl. Marry (boy );
}
Else if (girl. Willing to wait ())
{
Next_year:
For (day = 1; day <= 365; day ++)
{
If (day = Valentine's day)
If (boy. GiveGirl (Rose ))
Girl. Feelings ++;
Else
Girl. Feelings --;
If (day = girl. Birthday)
If (boy. GiveGirl (Rose ))
Girl. Feelings ++;
Else
Girl. Feelings --;
Boy. Desperately making money ();
}
Age + +;
Girl. Feelings --;
If (boy. Having a room () AND boy. Having a car ())
{
Boy. Set (nothing );
Return girl. Marry (boy );
}
Else if (boy. Make Money> 100,000 and girl. Feelings> 8)
Goto next_year;
Else
Return girl. Goto (another_boy );
}
Return girl. Goto (another_boy );

Programmers:
Programmers are like men, and languages are like women. Every man wants a lot of women, but few men really know women, because men are always in the dark, and women are changing every day, even some are transgender and beauty.

We all laughed:
Borland said that I had a bright future and Sun smiled. Sun said that I was rich and IBM smiled. IBM said that I was professional and Sybase smiled. Sybase said that my database was awesome and Oracle smiled; oracle said that I was open and Linux smiled. Linux said that I would defeat UNIX and Microsoft smiled. Microsoft said that my system was stable and we all laughed.

Language and automobile:
Delphi is like a jeep. It can be opened on any road, but it cannot be opened on any road. Pb is like a karting car. It can only be opened on a fixed line, but it will be unstable when it comes to the outside; VC is like a sports car, you can't afford it when you drive it, and once a fault occurs, you can't find the fault where you want to repair it. Java is like a convertible car, whether it's windy or rainy, you can drive it without mistake. VB is a motorcycle. The longer you ride, the more you hate it!

Programmer's ideal:
There is only one language temple in the world, working overtime at night M holding;
All department managers are dead, and all the bonuses will be paid by one person.

The programmer gave up:
Give up money for development; give up beauty for money; give up freedom for beauty; give up everything for freedom.

Programmers of several age groups:
A 20-Year-Old programmer has no strength. A 30-Year-Old programmer can make a PPT. A 40-Year-Old programmer has no charm. A 50-Year-Old programmer has only qualifications, the 60-Year-Old programmer holds his grandson and says this is it. The 70-Year-Old programmer lay down on his bed and uses a computer to fortune-telling himself.

Programmer love:
Organization, no guts (for fear of being discovered by others); introduced, not discussed (for money to house); online, see dead light (all dinosaurs ).

Four types of grief for programmers:
If you are on leave, you will be asked to reduce your salary. If you resign, you will be ill. If you are promoted, you will go bankrupt. If you are on a business trip, you will be on a business trip.

Irony and humor:

China Telecom recruits programmers A, B, and C to go to the interview. The examiner asked them about their program error experiences and how to deal with time data.

A: I have compiled tens of thousands of lines of programs and have never been at fault. I am very careful, accurate to milliseconds, no problem.

B: program errors are inevitable, but I am particularly good at finding and correcting errors in the shortest time. It is enough to use rounding to get the time accurate to seconds. The accuracy is too high, which affects the operation speed.

C: so far, the program I compiled has only one error: the calculation result is always greater than the correct one. As for time, people who have studied computers know that computers use binary computing and the time is 60 Gb/s. Therefore, there are technical difficulties in processing time data. In my opinion, the available approximate values simplify the problem. For example, a minute or thirty seconds is equivalent to a number that can be divided by 60 minutes.

As a result, programmer C was hired.