What is cold standby, hot standby, dual-machine standby, offsite disaster recovery, cloud Backup, NAS, load Balancing?

Suppose you are a woman, you have a boyfriend, and you and another boy are ambiguous, better than friends, and not lovers. You can always dump your current boyfriend, and the other one will soon be able to fill it up. This is a cold backup. Suppose you're a woman and you're dating two men, and two of them are your boyfriends. And they do not interfere with each other and run independently. This is a hot backup of two machines.
If you are a woman, you are not comfortable with your boyfriend's sense of security. In a distant boyfriend unknown place, and a boy to keep in touch, you tell him that you do not have a boyfriend, you are now in a tangled period, once you and your boyfriend separated, you can immediately transfer their feelings to the distance of men. This is an off-site disaster recovery backup.
Suppose you are a woman, have a boyfriend, you pay money to a marriage institute, let him keep an eye on the good resources, once you and your boyfriend separated, the Marriage Institute will immediately arrange resources for you, your feelings non-stop operation, this is a cloud backup.
Suppose you are a woman, you suspect a boyfriend's loyalty to you, and you buy a test loyalty service at a certain treasure. This is a disaster walkthrough. Friendship Reminder, in the absence of backup, do not do disaster drills, say bad will let you lose the data.
If you are a woman, you have a good friend who can't be in good friends, so that you can share a boyfriend, this is NAS.
If you are a woman, your boyfriend is too good to live, you can not hold a person, you must have sisters to help to stabilize him. This is load balancing, QOS.
Suppose you are a woman, and a eat and B shopping and C sex. Together is a complete boyfriend. This.. This is the Super cluster ... It is recommended that women with low frequency should not do so. Will crash directly.