Preface recently, many people's mobile phones have received such a "Duan zi": A Wenchuan earthquake survivor was rescued by the Russian rescue team. The reporter asked him how he felt. The survivor thought for a long time and said: "The earthquake on a dog day is so fierce! I was dug out and thought that I was shocked by foreigners ." Despite being a "Duan zi", despite being deductive, We are admired and gratified by the humor and open-mindedness in it. No disaster can make us cry forever. What we need is to turn grief into firmness and to build confidence in our homeland. Let us restore our lost sense of humor from the pain, and restore our life enthusiasm and energy. Here, Xiao Bian makes a sort of humorous jokes that appear on the Internet in the earthquake or in the compilation or real interpretation. After so long, let's relax ...... Suffering -- Recent Life status of Chengdu residents
1. Go upstairs and be brave. Night sleep wind meals, less than a day in the daytime. Aftershocks do not come to look forward to, panlai aftershocks to eat.
2. Shake the dead and shake the dead, shake the dead and scare the dead, scare the dead and sleepy the dead, sleepy the dead and tired the dead and run the dead. At the end of the day, there was no rush for an earthquake. 3. The people in the disaster area have no room to live, and they are waiting for food and drink in the remainder of the earthquake. The people in Chengdu do not have room to live, and they are waiting for aftershocks in eating and drinking. 4. What is worse than an earthquake is aftershocks. What is worse than an aftershock is the prediction aftershocks. What is worse than the prediction aftershocks is that the prediction aftershocks have never been shaken. 5. Uplink: early or late, and even one day to the dark are running; downlink: It seems that you want to take off your life. Horizontal approval: peace of mind to go to bed.
6. Uplink: A minor earthquake does not need to run. downlink: a large earthquake cannot run. Horizontal batch: No run. 7. The latest regulations of Chengdu Mahjong are: do not allow to beat 512; do not allow to beat the blood to the end; do not allow to blow the wind and rain; do not allow Hu to overturn Hu.
>>>> View OriginalHow do white-collar workers go to work after the earthquake in Chengdu -- a sense of humor
1On the 12th, an aunt of mine was playing mahjong and suddenly found the table shaking. He immediately shouted: No, hurry up, and the table is shaking! As a result, another aunt said, "Do not panic. Try again !"
2When the earthquake came, we had a 29-inch flat-screen TV running downstairs.
3Four mothers-in-law are playing mahjong. Suddenly I found the table shaking. Without talking about it, my mother-in-law went to find some cardboard separately and placed it under the table. Then sit down and continue to fight! =! It is estimated that it is the most powerful old lady in Chongqing.
4A doctor was preparing to give an injection to a middle-aged male patient lying in bed. The earthquake suddenly occurred. The doctor said, oh, a big man is afraid to take a shot, why!
Note: It's big and big.
5I heard that on the 12th, a class in tianchuan was in class. when the earthquake struck, the students started to run outside. The old professor shouted: Don't panic! Sit down, I'll name it, and click one to get out ~~~ Khan ~~
6Under the background of the building, I heard an old lady scold her companion for "Alzheimer's disease. Why are you still smoking air conditioners during the earthquake? People are running in the west of guanxi. Do you want me to pull the refrigerator for you ?" On the day of the earthquake, his wife got up and ran. He drew the air conditioner and shouted his wife: he ran the table, pulled the refrigerator, and fell down ......
Note: Smoke, read Cou, hold, raise, and support;
Guaxi, also said guua stamp, silly meaning. Melon, stupid, stupid.
7Today, I heard from my colleagues that Japanese foreign teachers in a university are tough. It is not the habit of Japan to shake him down due to frequent earthquakes. At the beginning of the 5.12 earthquake, he calmly shouted that the students had to hide under the table, and the students had to climb out of the table. He continued to give lectures. Then all the teachers and students of the school gathered in the playground. The school leader turned away! What do people in the Japanese class say? Hurry up and send someone to look for it. When they find the classroom head, their class is still in Japanese ......
Note: The abbreviation of pendulum is chatting and chatting.
It's tough, it's a fixed usage, and the + adj is a scale-down of "it has such an adj. That's tough = It's so tough.
Haha: after a while, it is completely equivalent to "yiha" in the online language. It is estimated that it was invented by Sichuan netizens on QQ.
Turn: Bad, bad.
Header: Table orientation, meaning "inside ". For example, the house head is equivalent to the "house compartment" in Wu's speech.
8Uncle Kitagawa was rescued by the Russian rescue team from the ruins. Seeing that the surrounding area is full of white-haired foreigners, the grandfather said, "the earthquake on a dog day is fierce, yiha shocked Lao Tzu to a foreign country!"
9I have never experienced an earthquake. On the first day of 512, I was about to pay the telephone fee. I just walked to the door of the Tianfu Square telecom business office, and I saw a group of people rushing out, thinking, I was robbed!
10My colleague's friend is squatting on a large scale and has an earthquake. Her friend thought: Hey, my body has been blinking recently ~~~~
Note: large, solution big hand.
What is the meaning of "what is it.
A glance, a click, four clicks, it means bad, not good. In Chinese on the Internet, the "Character Problem" means that the character is very poor.
It is shining and unstable, which is equivalent to "Legs fluttering ".
11An old engineer in our company ran from the 13th floor to the 11th floor when the earthquake struck, and suddenly came up with a saying, "The computer has not been shut down yet !" So I went back to the 13th floor and shut down my computer! Later, this story was praised and admired by the company's boss!
Note: It is a "starting" attack, which is equivalent to "turning". It's not good, it's bad.
12In the 5.12 earthquake, a friend was trying to buy a car. The car started shaking when it was just turned on. My friend said: Mom! The quality of the car is too bad. The whole car is moving when an air conditioner is enabled, so I will go to the manufacturer to return the goods. Just now, I saw a large group of people running out and shouting for an earthquake. Only then did I know it was an earthquake.
13An African black Waer traveled to Chengdu to stay in a hotel. The earthquake caught the hotel on fire and the black Waer rushed to the open ground as quickly as possible. At this time, the fire-fighting firefighters were surprised to say: "The sun has never seen him go so fast after being burned ."......
Note: Sun and his immortal board, exclamation point, sun and his ancestors.
14A friend said that he was riding a bicycle on Renmin South Road in Tianfu Square during the earthquake on the 12th. He saw Chairman Mao beckoning to him. At that time, I was scared and almost fainted ...... Stop to know the earthquake.
15Or the day when CDTV5 interviewed the staff of the second wangmiao Scenic Area on the 12th, their staff told reporters: Oh, it was so fierce that day. When I rushed into the qinyan building to save tourists, the building has been shaking and shaking, and the tile is refreshing and refreshing. The key is to say that the building is still performing operations, when talking about shaking, the two hands were shaking from left to right. When talking about refreshing, one hand was moving from top to bottom, and then I was so miserable.
16I am a college student in their office. When an earthquake occurred that day, one person in their office experienced an earthquake and experienced earthquake evasion, at that time, he stood up and actively said to the people in their office: "Come and come, hurry up, and the safest thing to hide in the corner." Then everyone in their office, I dumped a phrase "hide the hammer, run ~~~" Then all the smoke rushed out ......
Note: Hammer, male genital.
Slack, scornfully replied.
17In Chengdu, a man ran to cut his hair into an inch on the third day after the earthquake. I asked him how he remembered his hair cutting. He calmly told me, "My hair was cut short, but there was no resistance when I ran the aftershock ......"
18One night, when I went out to hide aftershocks, I encountered a thunderstorm.
At this moment, I heard a classic saying from a young man next to me: "God knows how to clean the crime scene after killing a person ......"
19A girl from Chengdu and a friend went out all the way and went to the barbecue booth and said, "Eat a barbecue first. Otherwise, they will be buried for over 100 hours ......"
20On the last few days, there was a first earthquake in Chengdu and then a storm. It was terrible. People were still on the street in the early morning. A man next to me was calling his friend and saying, "mom, and the entire earthquake plan."
21A buddy was driving at the time. After checking the tires, he found that all the drivers on the road were checking the tires.
22On the 12th, a telecom employee ran down from the 27 th floor of the House. when half of the employees ran, they stopped and ran down the family, the man said that he could not run (maybe he was fat). His wife said that he was running fast. Otherwise, our baby would be an orphan. As a result, the telecom employee also had a boost and went to the bottom floor.
23A friend's mother was playing mahjong. When the earthquake came, she pushed the card very steadily and said, "Sorry, the earthquake is coming. I don't want to fight, and then I started running ......
24Friends (female) are on the phone in the corridor, and there is a railing in front. Suddenly, she saw the railing shaking. Then I looked down and there was a man who was not far away calling the railing. He complained angrily to a friend on the phone that the man had no public morality. Shaking the railing all the time!
Note: Black, very.
25On the day of the earthquake, I called a friend of mine and asked if you hadn't run before the earthquake. He said that he hadn't had time to pull shit in the toilet. I said you did not run. He said that the hacker just came out, and the clips kept getting stuck!
Note: stand alone. A wave or a batch. How can this problem be solved.
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26One person was buried for more than 50 hours and was quite awake when he was rescued. The reporter went to the interview and saw the reporter carrying his notebook. He forgot to ask the reporter about the injury. Can your laptop access the Internet? The reporter replied, yes, he said: Then you can help me see if the market has gone up.
27The old mother-in-law went to the front of the volunteers for a long time and began to wait. Volunteer: Do my mother-in-law need help? Old Mother-in-law: No, it's too much trouble! Volunteer: It doesn't matter. If you have something to say to your mother-in-law: Oh, sorry ............ So it's been a long time ...... Old lady: I want some water ......
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28On the last few days, there was an earthquake in Chengdu first and then a storm. It was terrible. People were still on the street in the early morning. A man next to me called his friend and said, "Mom, the entire earthquake package is provided. It is also an earthquake and a storm!"
29To sum up the "characteristics" of the earthquake: basically, communication relies on roar, searching for people depends on dogs, mining relies on hands, transportation, and steel bars!
30Chairman Mao said: aftershocks are like playing mahjong. If nothing happens for a long time, they will definitely be bigger.
31Chengdu people look at aftershocks in a mood like a girl with first love watching a lover, both afraid that he will not come and afraid that he will be confused.
>>>> View OriginalSend two emails to Toad and earthquake brother-crossing time and space
Sorry, please do not run around, OK?Article submitted by: Peking University food principal added a post to CAT, brother, and sister
Dear Mr. Toad:
Recently, Sichuan. Your family members from Guangdong, Fujian (Fuzhou, Quanzhou), and Jiangsu appear, and a large number of Members appear. I saw the photo in front of Sichuan, Mr. Toad. Please don't come out.
First, it is very unsafe to come out on a large scale and it is very likely to be squashed. For the safety and reproduction of your family, please go to the sidewalk.
Second, it's too much trouble!
Third, make some faces difficult
Fourth, you jumped out for us. We all know that we are very grateful for helping us predict earthquakes. We know that you are more honest and reliable than some experts, and we have not paid a penny to raise you. However, don't jump out all day long. Can you take care of your family without an earthquake?
Fifth, thank you!
In this case
Salute!
Dear brother!
Your letter has been received. Thank you for your love.
1. We went out for a walk because we were breeding offspring. (Experts said)
2. We don't have nothing to do. We don't want to make rumors. This is not a precursor. We don't understand what it is. This is a difficult problem.
3. We are going to make soy sauce.
Sorry, you love me!
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Conversation with earthquake brotherDear earthquake brother, let's discuss it. We can't afford it. Let's take a break tonight, let's sleep. You want to come back tomorrow. Haha ...... In fact, Sichuan is not a good choice. Jezyl, are you cutting that Mars ...... That's cool ...... The earthquake brother said: Chengdu, the city that doesn't want to leave when the seat arrives, a city with the largest tent owned by each person in the country; Chengdu, a city with an empty bottle upside down; Chengdu, A city with extremely fast bath and toilet access; a city with chocolate and mineral water in its restroom; a city in Chengdu that refuses to sleep naked; Chengdu, A city where all people are keen on training and running; a city in Chengdu that cannot run when it comes.
>>>> View OriginalEarthquake sequelae-the ultimate entertainment spirit is the seismograph invented by the Sichuan masses ...... I. The original greeting asked: "Have you eaten? Where to go ?", Now everyone will say, "Where are you going to bed tonight ?";
2. I used to care about where others lived, and now I am concerned about the buildings where others lived;
3. After each aftershock, use a magnifier to check whether there are any cracks in your house;
4. I think the second floor is very high;
5. People who hate the habit of shaking their legs;
6. No one can shake the phone;
7. You may be scared when you shake your legs;
8. The house is so nervous that it will never be shaken again. When it does not shake and the tension is dying, I do not know whether the earth is saving energy, whether it is calm before the storm. It's hard to shake or not shake;
9. The mobile user decides not to be a mobile user in the future, and the UNICOM user decides not to be a Unicom user in the future;
10. It takes many seconds to calculate from the home on the floor to the open space when you are idle;
11. carry a bag that you think contains important items with you, and leave the bag for sleeping, or you can leave the bag for at most one meter;
12. I don't believe in my own feelings, and I keep asking for another proof: "Did you shake a group ?"
13. Pay attention to the water cups installed on the table every five minutes;
14. The first topic of meeting colleagues every day: "Were you awake yesterday ?";
15. I was suddenly interested in geographic knowledge;
16th. I was suddenly interested in survival knowledge. 17th. I had to go to bed on Friday and thought: "Do you want to take off your shoes ?"
18. I developed a good habit of reading news and cried at a glance. Address: http://ent.daqi.com/feature_272984_16_index.html
