11 jokes enlighten couples

(1)
When Dayong was on a business trip, he suddenly went home and heard a man snoring at the door. DaYong walked away silently and sent a text message to his wife: "Divorce !" Then, they threw away their cell phone cards and moved far away from home. Three years later, they met again in a city. His wife asked, "Why don't you quit ?" DaYong said the situation at that time, his wife turned and left, and said, "That's the little lion of rising ."
[Interpretation] what couples need most is not passion and impulse, but trust. Even if they see or hear something, they should at least give each other an opportunity to explain, because even what you hear may be invisible.
(2)
The husband scolded: "Where are you cooking vegetables? ."
The wife immediately replied, "You go home so late every day, of course you don't know that they have been 'aliyun' on my spatula ."
[Explanation] When we begin to pay attention to the handsome guy and find that our pillow is no longer proud of the past, don't forget him or her) the most beautiful period of my life is with us.
(3)
A couple have always lived in harmony. A local reporter asked about the secret of a happy marriage. The husband explained to the reporter: Well, this is about to begin with our honeymoon. We went to the Grand Canyon for our honeymoon. We had to ride a donkey to the bottom of the canyon, but it wasn't long before we went there. My wife's donkey fell down. My wife quietly said: for the first time, it wasn't long before the donkey fell down again after going on the road again. My wife quietly said: the second time, there was no half-mile donkey falling down again, then my wife pulled out her revolver and shot the donkey. I couldn't agree with her behavior, so I began to argue with her. At this moment, my newly-married wife quietly said to me: the first time ......
[Interpretation] there must be some awesome bottom lines in marriage. by testing each other, you must know where the bottom line of the other party is, consciously retreat, and never let yourself be unscrupulous.
(4)
Kobayashi said to his wife: "You love to compare with the family of John next door. His house has been decorated. You want me to decorate the house according to the decoration mode of his house. His house has bought a computer, you want me to buy a computer that is the same as my home computer. What can I do?"
"Are there any new things added to their home ?" The wife asked anxiously.
"He married a young and beautiful wife yesterday ." Replied the husband.
[Interpretation] do not always compare with others, or simply follow a family. Every couple has their own circumstances, and it is impossible to completely copy the happiness of others, be able to live your own happiness.
(5)
When a neighbor of Kobayashi came home and saw Kobayashi standing outside the door, he went up and asked strangely, "Hey, Kobayashi, how? Unable to get in ?"
Kobayashi smiled and said, "No, I forgot my key !"
"Come to my house first ." The neighbors enthusiastically said.
Kobayashi dismissed: "No, my wife will be back soon ."
After the neighbors left, Kobayashi gently pleaded with the door: "Dear, I beg you to open the door. Can I admit the mistake ?"
[Interpretation] People have to face each other. In many cases, they would rather wronged themselves than humiliate themselves in front of outsiders. A great conflict between husband and wife should also be resolved in the room, never let an iron door intercept two people at any time.
(6)
Husband: "Dear, since you love me so much, why didn't you promise me right away when I first proposed marriage ?"
Wife: "Because I want to see what your reaction will do after the rejection ."
Husband: "Oh, but what do you do if I turn around and leave ?"
Wife: "Don't worry, you can't leave, because I locked the door early ."
[Interpretation] Sometimes speaking between husband and wife does not mean the intention, so do not make a sentence so true. Especially when quarreling, you can say anything evil, but in fact, if you really want to part in different ways, there is no need to quarrel. The original intention of the quarrel is to vent your anger and recover your feelings.
(7)
While a couple sat at the beach, their husband was always watching every pretty girl in the past. His wife blamed her husband and said, "respect me, Robert, you are married !"
"What is this? If I eat a sick meal, this does not mean that I have no right to view the recipes of luxury hotels !" The husband retorted.
[Interpretation] some small actions are out of human nature. Don't suppress them. When you don't touch the bottom line of the principle, it's no harm to leave a little space. People will actually experience aesthetic fatigue.
(8)
A couple of couples watched the TV and licked their melon seeds. Suddenly the wife shouted from the kitchen: "husband, can you help me with the lights ?"
My husband said impatiently: "I am not a plumber !"
Not long after my wife shouted, "husband, can I fix the refrigerator for me ?"
My husband said impatiently, "I am not an electrical repair engineer !"
After a while, my wife shouted, "Can my husband help me repair the wine cabinet door ?"
My husband was annoyed and said angrily, "I am not a carpenter !"
Then I went out to drink and relieve my boredom. After an hour, my husband felt guilty and decided to go home and repair those things. But after going home, I found that all things had been repaired and asked my wife: "Why have everything been repaired?"
My wife said, "when you left home, I sat sadly outside the door and happened to have a handsome guy passing by. Knowing this story, I care about it and said, 'I can fix it for you! But you can choose to cook a cake for me or make out with me once! '"
After hearing this, my husband said, "What cake do you cook for him ?"
My wife replied, "I am not a cake maker ."
[Interpretation] If you assume the responsibility of marriage, you must try to do any housework. Even if you do not do it yourself, you must have a solution, you cannot use the phrase "I won't" to shirk your responsibilities.
(9)
A couple were fishing by the river, and the lady was always nagging.
The lady said, "This fish is really pitiful ."
The husband said, "Yes. Will it be okay if you just shut up ?"
[Interpretation] couples must consider the feelings of each other. They cannot leave them alone based on their preferences. Habits such as "nagging" do not actually play a very important role. We must find a way to restrain ourselves.
(10)
The wife complained, "You don't know women's heart at all, and you don't want to talk about what I love to hear ."
Sir: "Well, please remind me of what you like to listen ."
Wife: "At least the name should be changed. Don't always call it a" wife "or" Three-character ."
Sir: "I understand, old lady ."
[Interpretation] when the other party is very enthusiastic, do not say anything disappointing or make a disappointing move. You must understand that happiness and happiness are shared.
(11)
A rich man successfully married a beautiful actress. In the bridal chamber of the wedding night, they carefully unwrapped the other party's wide clothing.
The groom said, "Since we are husband and wife, we should treat each other with sincerity. I have a few secrets to tell you, please don't be surprised ." The bride smiled with a simple smile: "No one has a few secrets.
Since you can tell me your privacy, I also decided to tell you my little secret ."
The groom grabbed his hair set in his hand and said to the bride, "I am actually bald ......" I didn't expect the bride to pick up a long hair at will: "What a big fuss about this, I was born bald ......"
As soon as the groom stared at his bald head, the bride took the initiative to confess: "Are you looking at my beautiful eyelids? In fact, they are manually cut ......" The groom was not surprised: "This is nothing. Look at my left eye ......" As he said, his left eye was taken out of his eyes. It turned out that his left eye was fake.
The groom went on to say, "not only my left eye, but my teeth are also fake ......" The bride did not agree: "It doesn't matter. My nose has been exhausted for five times ......" The groom said, "Do not tell you that wrinkles on my face are made;
After a while, the bride said, "I am not jealous of you. In fact, my pretty face has been filled up for eight times ......" The groom took off his shirt and said, "My heart is maintained by a pacemaker ......" The bride also took off the bra: "I did this after breast augmentation ......"
The groom's actions slowed down: "Since you are so frank, I will tell you my biggest secret-because of the economic crisis, I am about to go bankrupt ......" The bride is also like the greatest determination: "I didn't want to let people know, but you are so nice to me, I will tell you-in fact, I was not a woman, I had a sex change operation ......"
"Great !" The groom was excited and said, while dropping his skin, revealing the dark hair inside, he hugged the bride tightly: "Dear, actually I am an orangutan, you and I will go back to the forest to live ......"
[Interpretation] everyone has their own past events. Do not always stick to exploring the past of each other. It is good to grasp the present and the future. A beautiful or bad past has no significance for a happy life, the more you turn it out, the more unfavorable the relationship between husband and wife.