17 dead-laughing text messages

1. Dead party! When I have the money, I will use a human head horse to rush you to the toilet, use a dollar bill to smoke you, use 999 roses to take a bubble bath for you, and use a boeing plane to pick you up and go to work, use the pearl frame to treat you as a hacker! OK?

2. A farmer kills chickens tomorrow and says, "Eat it now. This is your last meal! The next day, I saw the chicken lying down and leaving a suicide note: ye has taken the mouse medicine, and you do not want to eat ye, he is not a fucking cool ~!

3. You took a pig and went shopping. After passing through, I said with sympathy: "Looking at a person's grades depends on who he is ." After that, I saw the pig abandon you with disdain.

4. Sun jihai dressed as a pretty girl and went out to ask a beggar: Who am I? A: Sun jihai! Sun Dajing: How do you know ?? Qimo looks around: Hush ~~~ I'm Hao Haidong ~!!

5. A child with milk from a woman goes to the dining room to eat. The child is crying, and the woman picks up her clothes quickly. The waiter will come and stop her. The woman is furious: Isn't that okay? A: You can open your chest, but cannot bring your own drinks.

6. geyou goes to the bathroom on his way to dinner. When he comes back, his pants are wet. Friend: How are your pants wet? Ge You: Always! Friends don't understand, Ge You: It's often the people next to them suddenly turned around and shouted :**! Isn't that GE you ?!

7. If the scorpion is bitten by a snake, it must be cut for the spread of anti-virus fluids! Excuse me, I have many legs !! The doctor comforted him: Brother, I want to open it. You will be a worm in the future ~

8. Yu said: I open my eyes all the time to keep you in my eyes forever ~ Water said: I keep flowing all the time to hug you forever ~~ Pan said: They're almost fucking familiar. They're still so poor !!

9. Men 9 fear: I am afraid that my lover will be pregnant, I am afraid that my mistress will become normal, I am afraid that my lady will be ill, I am afraid that my daughter-in-law will be desperate, I am afraid that my lover will be stolen and I am afraid that my wife will be soaked, seven are afraid of property theft, eight are afraid of people reporting, and nine are afraid to finish the work.

10. The sky is blue, the sea is deep, and none of the man's words is true. Love is eternal, blood is bright red, and men cannot fight; if a man is rich, he or she has an affinity with everyone. If a man is reliable, pigs will climb trees !!

11. The heads of China, the United States, and Russia went hunting and were surrounded by a group of evil wolves. Bush gave us dollars, Putin gave us beautiful women, and wolves put them away. The old man took out the only party certificates, and all the wolves fell down, in tears, the organization was finally found!

12. I miss your smile and review your taste. Taking off your coat reveals your wonderful control. My heartbeat suppresses my mania. Think about my need to take you out early... Ah! Zongzi! Happy Dragon Boat Festival!

13. daxie married his mother-in-law and gave birth to PHS. He had an ugly face and had a bad signal. He could not roam and could not send text messages to each other. He was heartbroken,

14. You are a sentimental crow, you are a lively frog, you are a muddy sweet potato, you are a red prawns in my heart ~ I would like to greet you gently: Look at my text message cute dummies, how are you now?

15. The elephant put its feces in the center of the road. An ant was passing by. It looked up at the top of the misty cloud and couldn't help singing: Ah, oh, this is the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau ~~

16. On the plane, the crow said to the flight attendant: Give ye a cup of water! After listening to the pigs, I also learned: I have a cup of water for ye! The flight attendant threw the pig and the crow out of the cabin. The crow smiled and said to the pigs, "Are you stupid? Ye Feifei

17. Q: Will cats climb trees? Q: Yes! HOST: give an example! The e said with tears: that year, I fell asleep, and the cat climbed the tree .... Then there was an owl ..