Program apes not only have intelligence quotient to work with colleagues and leaders will make a lot of IQ explosion watch but eq (eq) Slag of children's shoes is very painful, and you want to have a good future development will know some ... Hope that through this blog can help you and progress at the same time remember not to forget beginner's mind!!!!
What are some of the books that can improve your EQ (new book author)
First of all, you have to pick the right book for you!
Get rid of those 20 phrases like that, and don't look at the chicken soup that your friends are forwarding!
Carnegie or something, I still keep my opinion. Take a look at two sentences:
The weakness of human nature 18: disrespect others ' opinions
Conversely: respect for the opinions of others, whether they are right or wrong
The weakness of human nature 19: Dare not admit their mistakes
Conversely: If you are wrong, admit it quickly and honestly and correct it in time.
Speak of who all understand the truth, but the wrong person is not conscious ah, some people do not realize what is called "no respect for the views of others", but also realize that they are wrong. Some people realize that it is not change.
Because this book does not really "persuade" you. (What do you mean by real persuasion?) Please look at this book can let you quit smoking, this is really useful good book, until said to you "clothing", said to let you "change". ）
#致卡耐基粉 #
I've already explained why I don't recommend Carnegie. One can't completely convince me. The second is not too strong operability. Of course, if you feel good-looking, appropriate, it is suitable for you. The value-related evaluations themselves are not right or wrong, only to express personal experience and preferences.
I personally (personally) have two standards for this type of book:
1. Be able to persuade you to fundamentally "wake up".
2. It is operable.
Second, you have to understand what the book means in this matter. is to change your mindset (mindset)
The worst thing about a low-emotional businessman is that he doesn't know he's wrong, and he doesn't realize it at all.
For example, I have a friend, he always likes to open others jokes, usually like to give colleagues nickname even if, once at the annual meeting on just to their company not long the department leader said: "You look like Wangbaoqiang!" ”
The leader had to laugh awkwardly.
Later I heard that he and others complained: "Why the new boss always makes me difficult." ”
Others say: "You should not be so open to him joke." ”
He said: "I think he is not so narrow-minded people ... ”
Have you noticed? In his mind there is no "I do this is inappropriate" concept, the wrong is the others.
This is not the right mindset, or there is no mindset.
I grew from a low eq loser to a smooth communication with others, most people are willing to get along with me, few people love and I get along with the people, the book can say to my help is unlimited.
From "Tao", it can correct your idea pattern, make you consciousness, realize that some of your original thinking is wrong.
From "technique", it can guide you to consolidate your new concept mode through some thinking methods.
From the "Device", it can provide some small tricks to practice, so that you can immediately change some situations.
The three complement each other and fundamentally change your mindset through constant practice, just as you give yourself the "upbringing," and let the idea pattern take root in your mind until high EQ's talk and behavior become a habit.
(At this point is really a easier, but only if you want to "know" the ability to "line" right! ）
Book List
The Art of communication (the United States, Ronald. B. Adler/Lassere. F. Procter)
Psychology and Life (Beauty, Richard, Grieg/Philip)
Learn to ask (Brown)
Key Dialogues (Coripatson/Airsvisle. Bestselling/Jean. McMillan)
The power of conversation (United States, Alan. Ghana)
High-difficulty conversation (United States, Douglas/Bruce * Dayton/Sheila Han)
Negotiating power (US, Roger Fisher)
Critical Thinking (Beauty, Richard Paul/Beauty, Linda El *)
_____________________________________
#关于情商 #
1. EQ is as complex as IQ (see Intelligence or IQ can be improved by the day after tomorrow?). Although there are many gauges, it is still not possible to incorporate all aspects of EQ.
2. The above table shows the four parts of EQ (and other classification methods):
Self-awareness (whether you can be aware of your emotions, actions, beliefs),
Social awareness (whether you are aware of other people's emotions, behaviours, and understanding),
Self-management (whether you can choose the right mood, the output to express the right mood),
Relationship management (influence, ability to deal with contradictions, ability to cooperate)
3. The above-mentioned mindset from this perspective is "self-awareness" and "social consciousness". If you don't realize it, you can't manage it. In the comment area, many people say that "there is no sense of control" that is the problem of self-management and relationship processing. The "Art of Communication" in the book mentioned above describes in detail the principles and methods of self-management and relationship management.
#书与我的成长 #
My personal progress is also beginning with "Self-awareness" (see what is "effective communication" and how to face a person who is difficult to communicate). Because adolescence saw a lot of Clockwork Orange, The Catcher in the wheat field, such as the old terrier, led to their own once thought that Maverick is the best quality, in interpersonal communication is very closed, college and classmates, dormitory relationship is very poor.
The reality of the negative emotions into the network, once in the watercress on the jet, see the unhappy post on the spray. (You can forgive them if you see the jet.)
In the watercress sweep the book, by chance to see the "learn to ask questions" this book, suddenly feel very fun, on the next look. As a result, the brain hole opens up (suddenly being awakened and self-conscious). Out of control, a succession of the above those books, and slowly understand the reasons behind some of their actions, why there is some kind of emotion, which is through the "figured out" can be resolved and eliminated, as well as some of their own behavior will lead to how others react, how to control their behavior and so on. Then began to consciously practice, for example, parents forget and ask me, I will be impatient to say: "Bored to death not to say several times, what memory ah." "When I have a negative emotion, I give myself a pause and think about what the consequences are and what I really want to do," he said. I also often forget things, parents have never bothered me. And then he will explain it patiently again. The mood of the parents will be very good.
Once the cycle begins, you will find that your EQ is getting better with this constant positive feedback.
First the family found me changed. I used to talk back and quarrel with my parents almost every week, Meihao Qi. Then the argument was almost completely gone. One day my mother suddenly said: "I find you seem to be gentle after graduation."
To study at the time of the popular relationship has a big reversal, from the undergraduate not to contact people, others also not to see me, to study when the organization of all activities, harvest a lot of very close relationship. People were so surprised when they talked about college that they were so bad that they couldn't see what you would say.
Network relations at the same time has also been reversed, from the people who see people do not care about the jet, to share to everyone my experiences and experience.
Of course, there are a few squirt don't like me, I do not want to please them.
#推荐书单的有用性 #
If you have not read these books, please at least read the Watercress Book Introduction catalogue and popular review article excerpt again to comment, casually said "useless" or "chicken soup" In my opinion is not a good communication.
Psychology and Life is an introductory teaching material for many university freshmen at home and abroad.
The art of communication is a communication guide based on the results of psychological research.
The core of "learning questions" and "critical thinking" is basic logical thinking. You can even use the knowledge points to write a thesis.
If you could tell me where the book I recommended is not enough, not just a few empty adjectives unrelated to the content of the book, I'd Like to know.
The recommendation book itself with personal preferences subjective judgment, like I think durian delicious, but you may feel very smelly. In the Book of "Learning to ask questions" and "critical thinking" in the debate about values of the meaningless things, I also mentioned in the communication article, do not repeat.
#其它问题 #
EQ is not one or two of books can be improved, reading comprehension ability is very important, after reading their ability to use the book is also very important, understanding is more important.
Say a very cruel words, some people, even if you put the art of communication back down, you still can not communicate.
Fortunately, the new version of the art of communication there are some small exercises, we can practice up.
Do not expect the low EQ will be the same as the emotional quotient of people, but at least the day after tomorrow can make up for, better than the original, you can.
Reproduced in cl****
A good book recommendation to improve EQ (program apes not only have IQ but EQ)
