A Wonderful Life record of "kicking migrant workers"

"To kick the migrant workers" has called the program Ape, "yards Nong", work for a whole day to the computer to lose code that, often stay up late, often slovenly, sloppy constantly niggled, wear casually, often wear vest + loose big flower underwear + slippers, because often sit, do not exercise, or is big belly male, or skinny, with hanging silk have a fight, because long-term with the computer as a companion, Many introverted, poor words and expressions, relatively simple, met 7 points girls, blush, overwhelmed, income is not high, at most, the average

1, the New year couplet on the top: for the system, for the framework of death, for the debug struggle for a lifetime Xia Lian: eat symbol of the loss, the size of the case, the last death in demand! GUANGPI: Cup with programmer.

2, you only see me constantly busy, but did not see my enthusiasm, you have your nine to five, I have my night, I pity you can not realize the result of the accomplishment of the feeling. Code is doomed to painful travel ...

3, Male: I am a program ape.

Woman: Oh, Mr. Cheng, hello.

Man: polite, call me order ape just fine ~

4, I am your what, you are my program ape, ah?? Originally I was a monkey, Jiangzi I can let you play coding!!!

5, how to use the object-oriented way to become rich? Inherited.

6, yesterday, a boy to his favorite Cheng sister paper sent a written 160,000 lines of code of the program. This program includes embedded, JAVA, C + + and other languages, the main content is to recall the two people do together with the curriculum and borrowing poetry. He made it into a repo and commits to GitHub, named "I don't want you to write code alone." Sister paper was very touched, and then rejected him

7, Q: Programmers most dislike the son of Kangxi. Answer: 禩. Because he is eight elder brother (bug).

8. How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? No, it's a hardware problem.

9, dangerous high hundred feet, hand can write code; Jutou look at the moon, bow down to write code, King Division North Central Plains Day, sacrificial no forget to write code;

10, the lone sail far shadow Blue sky, only see the code front stream

11, sound card f ace, the computer late, check the first break. Project demand without thread, hateful place, mail presses. Hands tearful code, but no words choke. Read to go to thousands of lines of code, eyelids heavy computer broken. Sentimental ancient source code, more that Scandinavia, snub Valentine's Day, tonight sober where. Computer Next, Xiaofeng Moon, this goes for years, love is simply the same as a fake. Then there are thousands of helpless, more with whom to say?

12. Why are programmers always confused about Halloween and Christmas? Because the OCT = = Dec 25.

13. A word proves that you have loved! I don't want you to write the code by yourself ...

14, I am a move brick crazy, the ability to move bricks strong. One day, on a whim, down by a brick ...

15, Apocalypse Coding No regrets not, the breadwinner therefore. The years are wasted, and youth is always mistaken for bugs. Monopoly Hanging Silk Road, there is a goddess, no protection. The young man swims with extravagant mind, the world Shepherd. Fleeting, the bosom of the lofty feelings unbearable negative. Fenghua again, can't bear to care, year Jiao place.

16. A MD5 function was surprised to point to another MD5 function saying, "Why is your hash not the same as mine?" "That MD5 function proudly says," I feed myself to the bag of salt. ”

17. A man smokes on the roadside one by one. A lady came up to him and said, "Hey, don't you know you're a chronic suicide?" Take a look at the warning message on the cigarette pack. "Never mind," the man took another sip: "I'm a program ape." "Eh?" What does that have to do with you being a program ape? "We don't care a bit about the warning (warning), we only care about the error." ”

18, many bugs, this victory yesterday, the callback long like swing rope. Overflow stack, throw exception, yards to the early morning, pharynx tears makeup huan, difficult difficult!

19, the youth to join it line, old to have no companion and why. Wipe the shoulder beauty disdain to see, 3,000 yards of friends in the side.

20, midnight words desolate, turn tears thousand lines, Day day time tight, also heavy construction busy. Long easy inconclusive, life hangs demand side, si gu Future road, one step three staggered.

21, white hair 3,000 Zhang, coding tears two lines, do not know overtime tired, only edge bug crazy.

22, kidnap into a Kang, it put on both sides, idle to the code knocking, echoes still around the beam. The yard pressure is big, may the gentleman more healthy!

23, the young crazy programming want, fearless to go to the IT line. Even if the splendor is not near, I self-coding not what!

24, every night to engage in projects, knocking code three or four points. Melancholy, choking and so on at dawn. Let go of a fight, the program full error. Sister people hold, bug check. Method attribute class, neither one. Not human, apes come to programmers.

25, countless holidays, the night shift, bug recall thousands of lines, cigarettes half, like hunger and thirst like crazy. Raise the head, count the window starlight, the life distinctly how melancholy, ponder, the day what has been out, why hope for long not clear!

26, young too frivolous, mistakenly into it line. White hair is dense, two eyes straight. There are dozens of languages, no one is good at it. 30, no room single lang.

27, when the end of the world has 5 minutes to come

Programmer: Let's do something at this last moment!

Girlfriend: Well, let's do it for the last time!

Programmer: What's the rest of the 4 minutes and 50 seconds?

28. There's a bunch of hard-pressed programmers on the other side of the mountain.

They're honest and 胹. They're smart and wooden money. They sit there all day and write software hungry and bite a mouthful of instant noodles ~ ~ Oh bitter programmer oh bitter programmers just need to change the requirements they're going to have to do it again, but there's only two days left.

29, ten years of life and death two boundless, write procedures, to dawn. Thousand lines of code, where bugs are hidden. Even if the line and how to change the direction, Xi-heartbroken. Lead every day new ideas, change every day, day busy. Were just no words, only tears thousand lines. Every night lights dim, programmers, and overtime, workaholic ~

30, young not toil, buried programming busy. The key to the sonorous fall, less than ponder. Bug thousands, comment no line. Hugh said quick and easy, do to break human intestines.

31, the contemporary programmer, is actually the ancient wizard. They communicate with the natural laws of a world through symbols and grammars that ordinary people do not understand, and thus achieve the wonders of human needs.

32, the programmer asked Zen master: "I and 7 years of girlfriend broke up, the programmer is not many and love miss?"

The master laughed at the words and took the programmer to the playing field.

Programmer Dawu: "Does the Master mean to say: the meaning of love is like a game, as long as the process of hard work, the result is not important?"

The master closed his eyes and said, "Did you break up my ball?"

33, office Building, writing room programmer, program staff write procedures, and take the program for drinks. Sober only on the internet to sit, drunk also to sleep under the net, wine drunk awake day after day, online network next year. I hope the old computer, unwilling to bow before the boss, Mercedes-Benz BMW is interesting, bus self-programmer. Others laugh at me crazy, I laugh at my life too cheap, no street beautiful sister, which belongs to the programmer.

34, the end of the project is very anxious, that afternoon I began debugging code on the roadside, on the side of a beggar I looked very poor to give him a piece of money, he has been on the edge of watching me, I did not, half a day later, he pointed to my line of code said, wrote a comma ...

35, I do not know why, I said that I am engaged in PHP, they put the lights are extinguished.

36, a programmer rode a very beautiful bicycle to the company, another programmer saw him, and asked, "Where did you get such a beautiful car?" ”

The programmer who rode the bike said, "I just came from over there, and a pretty girl rode over and stopped at me, took off all the clothes, and said to me, ' whatever you want '.

Another programmer immediately said, "You have definitely made the right choice, because the girl's clothes you don't necessarily wear."

37, the programmer does not need to find objects, what kind of type, direct new on the line ...

A Wonderful Life record of "kicking migrant workers"