Two o'clock in the morning half, already accustomed to a person sitting in front of the computer, I looked at the screen, let the mind in the darkness of the inclusive quietly flowing, time as if again fixed in more than three years ago that moment: "283 points." That is the Chinese thousands of students known as the "Black July" one day, home from work after the mother opened the door to say a number, although early know that they will not be admitted to university, but so the results are much more than their own expectations. Mother is in the unit by telephone inquires about the college entrance examination scores, in the face of many colleagues, she can hardly believe their ears. Colleagues at a desk: her daughter, the only child of the party secretary, scored 610 points.
Perhaps born in the 80 's we are shouldering too many things, parents will most of the hope in this generation, so that forget the load they can withstand, so there is a generation gap, there is rebellion. In a short span of 20 years, there have been too many Earth-shaking changes and impact on traditional culture, these predecessors have not experienced the great changes in front of our generation, there is no repose, no direction. We groped, tempted, looking for their own road, this period of pain, joy, confusion can only be realized by themselves, we are in the changes in time to feel, experienced, also grow up ...
What about the past ten years of experience like a movie, a scene is still in theaters, there is no end of the drama, Time will oneself by a Meng irresolute ignorant little boy into the vicissitudes of the age of the youth, its magic has not subsided, crouching in a corner, waiting to change your everything ...
When I was seven or eight years old, I inherited my father's tradition of "foolish filial piety" very well. In this family, not talk, dull and dull I have been the object of ridicule, Grandma also how many times to work only, do not speak mother said: "Your son will only be begging for life, there will be no promising." Every time, my mother wanted me to fight for my breath and give them a look. Can say to say, every summer, after school I have to obey the father's orders carrying two big iron pot walking nearly a mile to grandma's home open water, winter, every few days to back Fengwomei, pour cinder, such a day has been continuing to high school graduation ...
89 China is a variety of "qigong" popular crowd of the times, countless so-called "masters" playing "Magic", "special powers" in the guise of wandering around the "altar", greedy to accept the bewitched by their fascinated people sent gifts, coins and all that can be sent to ...
The family nature also cannot exception, the relatives devout study each kind of strange work method, looks forward to the special powers appearance. Cousin's collection of a metre of thick in the market on the Qigong and supernatural books, I take a list of all receipts. To the well-known Qigong "know Well", the world's mysterious phenomena such as "pyramid", "Bermuda", "UFO" is also the object of their obsession and research. And with the hometown of a rush to catch the old Chinese medicine, the practice of secretly learned his self-proclaimed family "taiji one yuan work."
A practice is 3 years, during which also experienced the disillusionment of qigong and the false qigong, was arrested in the news, then I was very young for them grievances, this period. Still did not give up the desire for invention, but with supernatural powers and ideas, it was conceivable that my mind was full of something. But in the six grade it came up with some market-value inventions, and told at that time also at Chengdu University of Science and technology to read the cousin, remember that one of them is a miniature washing machine, the washing machine is scaled down, specifically used to wash small pieces of clothing, preferably with single-chip control of various functions (at that time single-chip or High-tech technology, I've just seen it in some professional journals, and indefinitely's feeling can be used on a washing machine, which is very convenient in summer. Unfortunately they were dismissive of my thoughts, they had a sense of "heart death", and the interest in invention has been suppressed for two years. Two years later, Haier out of the "little prodigy" washing machine, function or form with their own ideas of the washing machine are identical.
Stumbled on the junior high, but to be a aloof hermit has generated great interest, dream through painstaking cultivation to change or out of the world, even the diary is also full of self-weary poetry and prose, there is a period of painstaking study of how to commit suicide, and designed a variety of painless way to die, (now want to, I really want to thank the time did not embark on this road, otherwise there will not be me now) even the day-to-day performance of the class is very mysterious. The Chinese teacher handed my diary to the class teacher-though she admired my article, the teacher called my mother to school, very nervous to ask her whether my spirit is not a problem (this is my mother later told me J), and until one day in the house of the cement floor lying in practice, asleep was found by the mother, Had to suspend practice for three years of pseudo Qigong. Later saw the Si Ma nan of the "Martial magic inside," after the so-called supernatural completely lost interest.
The first semester inadvertently found a mother unit Hair "creative learning", the system of various creative inventions of the theory and examples, this book on my influence no less than the Christian Shoubushijuan "bible", has been extinguished enthusiasm again resurgence, and began to suit, In the classroom to indulge their thoughts and unrestrained in the fantasy paradise ...
Junior high School began to hate those boring, outdated courses, facing repeated tests, which have no trace of knowledge is their interest, willing to learn. Can not think of this knowledge, even if instilled in their own mind on the future development will be used? Think of China's English education, really done from the doll grabbed, learned more than 10 years down, grammar rules vocabulary has mastered a lot, but how many people can use English to communicate with foreigners? Dumb English, exam-oriented English has killed a whole generation of Chinese people! Although I can not feel the implementation of the quality of education, can look at the still emerging juvenile delinquency, as well as students do not lose the loss of the school bag, really can not think of the quality of education to see the advantages-perhaps there is a process of acceptance. Or perhaps China's unique educational environment, many students can only through the near-brutal competition, marching in large numbers by the test out of the shoulder to enter the ideal school-all this may hinder the implementation of quality education in China.
Poor academic performance, coupled with erratic behavior, weak character, I in the class "of course" enjoy the discrimination from all sides, still remember in the junior high school, in order to improve the graduation rate, ready to the so-called good students and poor students isolated, and to persuade some slim students give up the exam right, but later, due to some "Reason" has not been implemented. Now come to think of it, the most regrettable is why not more daring at that time, more to escape some classes to do more like things.
So mixed over three years of junior high school career, before the entrance exam in order not to cause parents too sad, with half a month of work, only three points enough to market a fraction of the score-such scores have been able to enter the class in the top 20. The family paid 3000 yuan sponsorship fee Let me enter the middle school-although no longer want to go to school, can not dismiss the wishes of parents, had to drop-in identity mixed in.
It should be said that at that time still bad words, wooden na stiff, weak character, coupled with poor learning. At that time the high school requirements, the same dormitory students do not have a person to treat themselves as a person, I undertook the dormitory for others to wash the feet of water, washing socks and other such things, silently endure their ridicule, and even the spirit of Ah Q to comfort their own ...
March 14, 96, I can not endure all this, with the savings of 40 yuan and some of their own ideas, as well as the vision of the dream, hoping to go to the National Patent Office to find a job, even if only to do chores, as long as the access to a variety of patent documents and information on the line. Left a letter in the home, secretly take the train to come to Beijing, now think of it, it was too simple, but this is not a life experience, just a few days, real experience of the cruel indifference of this society and Inconstancy: Remember to Beijing is 12 o'clock midnight, in the waiting room marble floor, a sleepless night, March Beijing is still very cold. The next morning bought a map of Beijing, netizens found the National patent Office. And cheated the guard into the building, a layer of inquiry, finally found the Director of the Office of the Patent Bureau, the Secretary was not in the room, there is a man and a woman, they randomly turned over my information, gave this "patent law" will I sent away. Dispirited and discouraged think since come out, don't go back, can eat problem how to solve?
Asked countless hotels one by one whether the handyman, but no one dared to accommodate-because I do not have ID. In this way in Beijing for four days and four nights: the blood seller (the so-called Blood head) lured, was expelled by the police, was beaten by Street Pi-only because I do not pleasing to the eye, but also with beggars slept underground pipelines. Those days see through the inconstancy, the heart is also cold, think of the whole life may go on like this.
Maybe it was an arrangement, on the fourth day, resting on a park bench, meet a more than 50-year-old old man, the clothes have been very broken, pushing a same old bike, see people say "have seen my son, he said Beijing, I have been looking for him for several years," it seems that has been insane. When he saw himself, he said to me, "My son is as big as you, he ran out of the house three years ago, only to leave a letter saying to go out and see, I've been looking for him for three years." "Just repeat it over and over again ...
A sad, also think of their parents, whether they will also-that is too cruel to them ... I use the remaining 5 yuan to make a phone call home, is the father answered: "He asked me where, and said:" Mother has three days did not eat, rest, all day in tears, if no news, she will go mad.
That night, the father and nearly 70-year-old uncle came to Beijing overnight, they a waiting room for a waiting room, but because there is no seat in the waiting room, he is in a restaurant behind the pillar half squat half a night-thin clothes can not withstand the cold of Beijing late night.
Back home, I said to my parents do not want to go to school, but they still want to read the high school-that time, really hurt their hearts, and finally returned to school.
Initially returned to school for some time, suddenly interested in the production of bombs, so for more than half a month from the city library to collect all kinds of explosives and related bomb production materials, combined with the imagination in mind and some of the chemical formulations and electronic knowledge, began to design a variety of special "bombs" in the mind. Perhaps the Virgo pursuit of perfection, even if the "crime" is no exception, the days of the brain in the endless inspiration, many unique "bomb" concept has come out successively ...
Perhaps even their own psychological some out of bounds, so the city library can find the psychology related books turned over, with some of the methods introduced to try to adjust the mentality, so after some days, slowly recovered normal.
I am thankful that the city Library was near the school, so that I could always sneak out to borrow books, whether it is physics, chemistry, or medicine, literature and other books, as long as the useful books I did not miss, more than two years to use the class time to read the nearly 1500 copies of the various books, and teachers in the class repeatedly "seize" their , but never confiscated the books read-no way, who let himself on the martial arts, romance and other novels are not interested in it, long time, the class teacher also took me no way to exercise willpower, but also in order to change an image-at the same time do not want to be bullied by others, I moved to a once there has been a fire and no one would like to live in the dormitory, face To the four dark walls, the implementation of the image recycling program ...
First of all to overcome the cowardly cowardly character, to go to extremes and suffering from a slight fear of heights I slipped into the TV station one night, began to climb up more than 80 meters high tower iron frame, strong courage to climb to the halfway, unnatural downward side looked at one-four hanging in the height of 40 meters, the whole body immediately weak, Hands and feet began to tremble unconsciously, but still awake: life or death-there is no retreat now! So about more than 10 minutes later, finally control their body, and then climbed to the top of the tower, standing at the end of the look, there is no previous kind of vertigo, filled with unprecedented confidence, that moment, I defeated myself!
In the dormitory homemade some humble fitness equipment, and combined with the buy back on Sanda and cut boxing road books, start martial arts, and adhere to the daily take a cold shower, so that later the school knows there is a snow day is still in the cold shower of the strange, in order to be able to beat after class, often from the second floor balcony jump down ... The days passed, the body became more and more vigorous, gradually did not care about the other person's comments and contempt, I try to surpass myself ...
High school days also have a lot of episodes, once read an American wrote the solitary body of the sea straying novel, to challenge the limits of human interest, so find a lot of medical information, made a preparation, decided not to eat within one weeks, but also do not drink-data show: In the colder environment , if you do not drink water people can live six days. I have chosen the beginning of the one week of November 96 (of course it is to be concealed from the family), and go to school as usual-the original intention is to let oneself in the future of such special circumstances , not because of despair died, the first three days of the test, I detailed the daily activity and excretion, And roughly calculate the loss of heat, the third day at noon, almost persist want to drink water, and the stomach is constantly twitching, walking as if the foot on cotton general, I gritted my teeth persisted down. The fourth day, not only the urine has stopped excretion (this damage to the kidney is quite large, later, all the rest of the meal for became a drug, fortunately, his diagnosis is the right way, the test did not cause too much damage to the body, and no longer feel thirsty, there is no sense of hunger, the mind of a quiet and serene feeling, On the sixth day, walk Road when there is no feeling, other people's dialogue as if from a very distant place, I know already close to the edge of life and death, the evening finally suspended the experiment, those days lost seven pounds. During the 6th of the trial, we ate a total of half of the Eels head, 350ml of water (the dosage cup was accurately measured), and obtained a more satisfactory result. BTW: I used to go to extremes, please do not repeat this test, just hope that this data can make you in danger difficult situation to increase the confidence to survive. In order to have their own laboratories, and to find the necessary chemicals, I do everything possible to look around, unfortunately, a small city, how can have a full range of chemicals store ? An accidental opportunity, in the * * * Office wandering inside, accidentally found a small two-storey building, and there is a chemical laboratory, there are several storage of electronic equipment, usually no one into out. It's not hard for me to get into these rooms, and it's easy to make a small subtotal-thanks to the original door lock: It doesn't take much of it, it just takes away a small amount of chemicals. Perhaps some of the drug's strange missing caused their attention, once want to take some medicine, feel something is not right, careful observation to detect the installation of infrared alarm. So I went back and spent one weeks studying, anti-theft devices, and bought a similar alarm equipment to do the test, found the crack method, also got the need for the chemical--this experience may have laid its own later Hacker Basics J. Prior statement: I did not cause any damage to the laboratory, the chemical stolen The total value of drugs is no more than $50 trillion-but it is hard to buy in the market. High School StayUnder the deep impression of when the work is not complete and answer the paper, can not see the end of the tutorial books. A class, the paper will be paved sky cover to come, self-study class is so, the teacher merry-go hair as a test paper, each claim to be very important. Although they can enjoy the "privilege" of not handing in their homework-the teachers have completely given up on me-there is nothing that he looking at the students around enthused doing useless homework, I can not help but smile, but also a wry smile-all this is not voluntary, but only in order to be able to infiltrate a university in the future. Still feel wonder is: if need, then I can understand the most professional technical papers, but the contents of the textbook is always unable to remember. Now, this may be the best example of "interest is the best mentor," J, which has rebellious. High school three years, there is no friendship between students, and some are just competing and rolling, everyone knows that the quota is limited, if you want to go to college, you have to try to more than your classmates around. These should not be our age to bear, but the reality is so cruel, for many rural students-if you want to live better, Test University is the only way out (but is this true?) After graduating from the University of , we will still face the fierce competition in this society, and our generation is always unable to relax. This is in the big city of the examinee can not understand (unequal fraction of the bar will make them easier to enter the university campus, such as said it is a kind of inequality, it can only be said to be used to it). Therefore, every year, the college entrance examination will hear the news of the college entrance examination for suicide or admission to a mental hospital because of unbearable stress. More Sadly, this kind of news doesn't resonate with candidates-they're already numb. I don't want to kaoxue and I don't have the pressure to look at it calmly and try to find an answer-can you tell me?
Soon three years past, also ushered in the entrance exam ...
I'll never forget my mother's face when she came home. Her face is a kind of despair after the defeat of self-esteem, but also implied a deep concern for her son's future fate-more than 10 years of hard work to give up the son, in a long enough to determine the fate of the test to give her the answer. In the small city of success measured by the results of the children's college entrance examination, this is an intolerable number, meaning that the future of the college entrance examination of the abandoned road will be full of twists and turns ...
Ben has tired of the outdated textbook knowledge, determined not to go to school, at this time I dare not to face the mother's eyes. Had given her too much disappointment .... Later, according to the wishes of parents, came to Shijiazhuang a computer self-study examination school. But I met a change that changed my life ...
November 98, 17 years old, I first contacted the computer in the school room, although it is only a DOS interface, although still ignorant of the computer, but can not help but be shrouded in the mysterious atmosphere of the guy conquered, but also that moment, in the heart secretly set a goal: within three years, not only to conquer the computer, But also to become the industry's top experts!?
To find a chance to access the computer, remember once in one weeks, running in 5 places, while they or the company do not use the computer, try to rub the machine, and carry a CD-ROM-I bought the first CD-a network intrusion and software cracking pirated CDs, In the face of that inside like the book of teaching articles, as well as mysterious intrusion and crack software, forget to eat and sleep, racking their brains to understand them. That week, a total of less than six hours of sleep.
After that, there was a big illness. The disease has become the best excuse to be able to stay on the bed without interfering with reading. To learn about software cracking-the basic premise is to understand the assembly language-after one weeks of eating and understanding of IBM's compilation of the textbook, in order to be able to use those hacker programs, within two weeks, mastered the basic programming and Debugging C language-This is not available on the basis of computers, in order to understand the network, A notebook of the latest online books by Me "ravaged" over and over again, no one to guide, just with interest, with the desire to become a hacker, finally read those obscure words (this may be a common problem in early Chinese computer books). Unable to live my ruanmoyingpao, promised to buy a computer in two years after the parents out of money to buy a compatible machine in advance, and placed in the city's cousin's single dormitory-he does not often come, to some extent, has become his personal paradise.
Three months, a full three months, a person to communicate with the computer, time has lost the concept of the day and night the stars alternately seems meaningless, hungry, go to the cafeteria to eat something, sleepy, down in the computer next to the bed to take a nap, wake up and then "war." As for the school, think about it when they go back once, but also just let the teacher remember that there is this student. Combined with computers, I learned about thousands of books and CDs purchased. Mastered the application of more than 1000 kinds of software, software cracking, programming and other capabilities have a leap of improvement. Now think of it, it may be the happiest time of my life, no pressure, no discrimination, only interest and motivation, crazy absorption of this industry can understand everything.
E,]b cI099 Year March, the Hebei Microsoft Training Center in the computer world to recruit the first batch of students ads, at that time did not know the concept of certification, only by virtue of access to the real network environment, and if through certification can get an annual salary of 100,000 of the commitment-of course, It's just an ad campaign. Then persuaded the family to sign up for the first session of classes.
After a long time, many of the past has become a ephemeral, but a small thing is always unforgettable: when the registration, he asked the person in charge of English is not too good to learn, he replied: Never mind. But it seems to think of something again, and then asked: "Are you in the four level?" That moment, as if to guess what the face would be. A college entrance examination students want to test what the World Certification system engineer, this quickly spread in his hometown to joke, home after every know this laughingstock people look at their eyes with contempt and disdain, I know, has no retreat.
There are 58 trainees in that session, except me, I have the relevant work experience of the undergraduate and master's degree. With 6 of bricks-and-brick English textbooks. The word "desperately" is the only one left in the mind again and again. During the day, to the PowerWord translation of every word in the book does not understand-try to read the meaning of the Almanac, then summed up a list of more than 1000 professional terms, hard to write down. In the evening, when the class is not in the reading to understand the knowledge point, and tape recorder will be recorded, go back to listen repeatedly, to understand. Two months of training, understand every lesson, and meet a lot of friends in the industry. The body is less than 10 pounds of meat--perhaps a good way to lose weight.
In May 99, I became the second student in the training class to pass the MCP certification-though only one course, but also a good starting point, after all, there are few people in Shijiazhuang have the certification. Excited to go long before the school to show off, but was the new teacher carefully asked: "Are you Li Ming?" After receiving a positive reply, there is no doubt that: you have been expelled from school ...
When I first left school, I wanted to find a suitable job with my computer skills. What is expected in the next more than half a month, the frequent replacement of 3 companies, are some computer agencies, several people is a combination, and even a deputy industrial control machine Company, but also do the food cooking business! But the cowhide is still blowing very big. I know that staying here will only consumed time, quickly flee, even pay not to go.
Fortunately, the same training course friends recommended, I came to Shijiazhuang Wanli supermarket as a network management, the daily work is to maintain the company's office network, POS Machine normal operation, as well as the UNIX server data backup, and using VB and SQL program to write some applications and database query software, work is very leisurely, This time, in the company set up a network environment, leisure time will do the experiment behind the textbook and network security research. The salary at that time was 900 yuan a month.
A few months passed quickly, in order to be able to give themselves some pressure, declined the supervisor to retain, after going home to prepare the remaining subjects of the examination. Now I want to, at the time at home, is also a big turning point in life, the character of the grandmother of a good owl, in the hospital for one months, Grandpa also at this time to join the fun, heart attack ensued, and father due to care for them, diabetes rose to 6 Plus-this is very dangerous signal, Mother was also tired to diagnose a heart break (my grandmother weighs more than 180 pounds, for its every turn is a difficult job, but not the work of their own can not help too much busy, ready to go to Shijiazhuang exam-but in the bus will be the parents to the 600-yuan test fee was stolen away. And borrow money to test, only one of the remaining courses even two times, unexpectedly all is only one point and failed. Real experience of what is called to cry no tears!
Back in order to resolve the mood, summed up their exposure to computer and network for more than a year of network security and cracking experience, wrote more than 20,000 words of article, was published in the "Software" magazine-published before the magazine caused a great controversy-has not previously published a similar article. After publication, it was unexpected to all editors, This article was rated as the magazine's most popular article since its inception, which also led to the media's attention to the hacker community-and at this point, I feel the ups and downs of life are ready to fade out of this circle.
Current 1/3 page
123 Next read the full text
