Beijing, a city that has deterred the cock

Unconsciously came to Beijing for nearly ten years, with eight words to describe is: sad and happy, after understanding.

A

Remember 2004 Beijing just got off the train, carrying a backpack, dragging woven bags, the exit ticket to find tickets lost, and then the ticket gate staff rudely took me to the police room, I was treated as a fare evasion, they treat me like a thief, then really want to cry without tears. After completing the ticket, my pocket was almost empty. Dragged the train to stand for 13 hours of tired body, sat for 2 hours of bus (at that time there is no subway), came to the place has been living now.

Just arrived in Beijing, not familiar with anything, and find work, no money, no friends, living in a room less than 10 square meters, everything is disappointing, everything is gloomy, desperate, painful. Later can not find a job, began to do odd jobs, because really lack of money ah, so what work, loading and unloading, decoration, site have been to. And then slowly get better, and start doing something else ...

Two

To be precise, I was formally entered into IT industry from 2009, the first work company in Tsinghua Tongfang Science and Technology Square, I live in daxing, three hours a day to work, three hours off work, at that time the line Line 4 has not pass. Also a lot of people ask me, then why not go to the company next to live, I always jokingly say, five crossing this sacred place is I wait for the cock silk live? In fact, the bitterness of the heart only know, less than 2000 of the wages, hehe ...

At that time, every day 5:30 get up, 55 go out, first sit 26 station bus to Changchun Street, then inverted metro line Line 2 to Xizhimen, and then from Xizhimen transfer Line 13 line to five crossing, and then walk 20 minutes to the company. Whether it is commuting, or work, the slightest dare not to neglect, afraid of their footsteps once slow, the opportunity is not.

It was so good to be young, and the body could resist.

Beijing for ten years, has been nearly dragged down my body. Beijing thick fog haze, let me one to winter allergic rhinitis, variant asthma, this is Beijing disease; commuting, causing the left leg joint soft tissue injury, can not do any strenuous exercise, this is also Beijing disease.

Later with their own efforts, coupled with the increase in work experience, changed jobs, conditions are getting better, and began to have some savings.

But some essential things have not changed at all. For the dog who has no money, no car, no room, no hukou, no right, maybe Beijing is not a long-term place to stay. Year after year, or penniless afterwards, day after day, or in the suburbs and downtown shuttle.

In fact, I have not faced the real need to face their own inner things, I am not brave enough, I should be brave to make their lives more secure. It is the most important thing to do in accordance with your own heart, what a big deal, I don ' t care. What needs to change is to change, not change, let him look good. The essence of life is good. Good and evil is a matter of mentality. Some evil things, you give in, he will become more evil, you brave some, risk some, the result is not as bad as you think.

Three

This year's Spring Festival to go home for the New Year, counted for ten years not in the hometown of New Year. I miss them as much as they miss me. Home feeling is always only in the home can realize, those outside the lively and festive are vain, only home bring people real feeling.

Take a look, in Beijing for ten years, there are many for the first time. The first day of work. First time on business. The first time to receive a salary. First Test MCITP. Train others for the first time. The first time I took the MVP. Become a lecturer for the first time. First time blog has visited 100W. Change jobs for the first time. The first time by the user scolded.

Then everything got used to it. later, slowly to understand some things.

Beijing is obviously a city that makes me hate and love, and in this city I get married and have a son. Thank the daughter-in-law for my tolerance. She has given me enough understanding and support. When I complained to her about how bad the job is now, she supported me in changing jobs; When I told her that I was worried about not finding a good job and was slow to leave the decision, she said she respected my decision; When I worried about leaving, there was a time when I couldn't find a job, and when the money wasn't enough, she backed me up and told me I didn't need to worry. The standard of Good Wife is that: respect your decision and personality, the family care very well, have a good heart and so on.

Forced by the pressure of life, October 2013 son sent home to grandpa and grandma brought. A good friend jokes that your baby is going to be a left-behind child. Oh.

Haven't seen their children for more than a year, in the mind special miss, also feel special guilt. In fact, everyone has a variety of hardships in mind. Some people like to show, some people buried in the bottom of my heart, do not leak traces.

Four

Eat countless hardships, see the shape of the people, many things are numb, indifferent, the road that he walked only have their own most understand, clawed my heart to see, inside covered with scars and tears, but I still did not give up the vision of tomorrow, silently insisted, silently, if the future will eventually old, look back on life, I think the saddest thing is not the failure of their own, but they have never had the courage to try! I have gone a lot of detours, but I do not regret, because that is the cost of growth, who let us start low!

Some people say that a mature person should not put his inner world too revealing. the surface of life as always beautiful. In fact, real life and happiness can not be disguised with the surface. Those who are disguised, covered by happiness, may be just high-profile sadness.

Vaguely remember 2010 years in a crowded Spring festival train travel to Shaanxi. Car on the shape of the crowd, mostly Western people, have to go to Tibet, have to Ganzi, have to Chengdu, have to Xi ' an. Exotic music was playing in the compartment, and the windows were deserted. The journey is unusually dull, and the loneliness and emptiness inside is abnormal.

Xi ' an get off, go to is a small county. As if back to childhood, hometown of the farmers market, simple peasants, the national customs of northern Shaanxi, selling wool waistcoat people. Not too accustomed to eat, dry noodles, whistle surface and so on.

Nothing to do, go to the local supermarket around, see a lot of things do not know brand, it seems to be local supply, there are many local features, such as red dates. Unfortunately, there is no camera. Otherwise you can record this kind of scenery. For a southerner, come to northwest and see what is fresh and curious. Those things seem to be far away from themselves, but they are near.

Looked over 2008 years of Diary. I hope to find the one that year. Old and Old road, good-looking sunset. In addition to the inner confusion, there is no other too much desire. Life is simple and repetitive. The future is not particularly clear. I hope to find that there is no retreat to me, is the ignorant fearless me. I let me see hope, simplicity, strength, courage, and light again.

Five

Although dressed in this city, nine to five to work, but in essence, most of the rural workers can only be "second-class citizens." Because from the countryside, because the generations are peasants, we can only bear the inequality caused by the urban-rural separation system. We have different medical conditions and guarantees, unequal employment restrictions, and unfair conditions for further studies with the urban population .... From birth, it is doomed to face all kinds of injustice.

In this huge country, we can only think of the so-called "personality equality", we can only vigorously maintain the poor dignity, as long as we deceive ourselves, we are really equal, really live in a free, dignified country.

Facing the narrow rising channel, we have paid more efforts and sweat, with action and language to silently comfort themselves, bear more life can not bear the pain.

Fortunately, the society is constantly improving, we are depressed, but also insist on that a little bit of hope. As the "working-class" In the city, we have also partially enjoyed the fairness and rights brought about by contractual equality.

To say this is not to complain about the injustice of fate, but to warn yourself, to keep a clear head and the right direction. As a 80-generation, we have more choices than the parents of the opportunity to face the future of the road, to go more calmly, the goal is more determined, can not let the life of this trip to waste, also can not let the parents sweat white flow, humiliation white suffer.

Six

The last three days of Beijing weather conditions, in addition to fog haze or haze, home at night, the nostrils are always black.

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Beijing's breakfast, pancake fruit or egg cakes, eat not enough gutter oil. (although there are a lot of breakfast stalls, but the current coverage in Beijing is still relatively low, most people can only buy from temporary stalls on the roadside)

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Rush hour. Beijing's subways and buses are like sponges, squeezed into a crowded place.

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Said so much nonsense, summed up in fact a fucking sentence, Ben Dick want to leave!

By. Zeng Hung Xin

This article from "Zeng Hung Xin Technical column" blog, declined to reprint!

Beijing, a city that has deterred the cock