Best joke collections in various countries

British scholars used the Internet to conduct a one-year social survey of more than 2 million people around the world and selected the world's best joke in 2003. What is the secret of a joke? Joke requires three factors to make people laugh: to make people feel better, to eliminate the tension caused by anxiety, the content is silly ."

Classic joke (completely including the above three factors ):

Best joke in the United States:

Two hunters from New Jersey hunt in the forest. A person suddenly fell to the ground, turned his white eyes, and stopped breathing. When my companion sees this, he picks up his cell phone and calls the emergency center. He cried to the attendant in a panic: "My friend is dead! What should I do ?" The attendant said gently, "don't be nervous. Don't worry. I will help you. But you have to convince us that he is indeed dead ."

Silence ...... Then there was a gun. The hunter picked up the phone and said, "Okay, what should I do next ?"

Best joke in the UK:

A woman holds a child in the bus. The driver glanced at the child and suddenly said, "I have never seen such an ugly child in my life !"

The angry woman sat down in the last row and said to a man next to him, "The driver insulted me just now !" The man replied, "Hurry up and look for him to settle accounts. I will hold this ugly monkey for you !......"

Best joke in Canada:

The Canadian aerospace Department began to send astronauts to space for the first time, but they soon got a report that astronauts could not write anything with a ballpoint pen in a weightless state. So they spent $12 billion in 10 years, and scientists finally invented a ball pen. This pen is suitable for weightless states, inverted bodies, water, any plane objects, minus 300 degrees Celsius.

The Russians have been using pencils in space.

Best German joke:

The general found a soldier behave strangely: He always picked up a piece of used paper, looked at it, and threw it aside. At the same time, he muttered, "No, this is not what you want !" General ordered the psychiatrist to treat the soldiers. After the psychologist's examination, he wrote: this person has psychological disorder and should not be a soldier.

The soldiers picked up the diagnosis and happily said, "Yes, this is what you want !"

Best joke in Australia:

A woman came to the hospital anxiously. "Give me a look, Doctor! When I woke up this morning, I looked in a mirror and was very scared. My hair was rooted in one hair, my face was wrinkled, my face was pale, and my eyes looked red and looked like a dead man. What's wrong with me, doctor ?" The doctor carefully examined the patient and said, "Well, I can tell you with confidence that your eyesight is completely OK !"

Dutch best joke:

Two friends play at a local golf course. A person raised the rod high and was about to hit the ball, And suddenly found a long funeral team on the road. He put down the rod, closed his eyes, and prayed. Surprised friends said: "This is the most touching scene I have had the honor to see in my life. You are a real good man !" The man replied, "Yes, you know, I have been a husband and wife with her for 35 years !"

England talked about three jokes about Scotland and the Irish:

1. An Irish man called a travel company: "How long will it take for me to fly to London ?" The clerk wanted to see the flight schedule and said to him, "(please wait) one minute, sir !" "Thank you very much !" The Irish replied with satisfaction and hung up the phone.

2. A Scottish man returned home from England. His family asked, "How is it in London ?" The Scotland replied, "Okay! It's strange for England. While I was staying at a hotel, they knocked on the wall next to me like a madman ." "What were you doing at that time ?" "What am I doing! I just played the flute all night !"

3. An Irish man came to London for a holiday and stayed in a high-end hotel. The waiter picked up the box and took him to the room. The Irish man said angrily, "look at it! Don't think I'm from Ireland, just let me stay in this small room !" The waiter hurriedly explained, "Don't be angry, sir! This is an elevator ."