Classic to crazy quotes

July 7
I know that I am not a handsome guy, but when someone looked at my full moon photo, they also said that my left-side nostrils were very idol.
　　　　
August 30
Dedicated rooms can only be a waste of money. Couples are in groups and people know how to save money. But now, I want to be frugal in a waste of time.
　　　　
May 10
I think I am a changed person. I have a crush on my mother and I like the best mature girl. Otherwise, why do I want to fuck her grandmother every time I see the face of our supermarket director?
　　
March 18
After breaking up with my girlfriend, I finally realized that happiness should be in my own hands, not in others' mouths!
　　　　
July 9
I read a book today and saw that Emperor Kangxi was the king of a country when he was 23 years old. I was very frustrated by JI weigongfeng. But I also saw that Emperor tong zhi had been dead for four years at the age of 23, my credit limit?
　　
November 11
On Valentine's Day, I eat noodles at the restaurant alone. I heard a song program on the radio saying, "A gentleman is singing songs to all lovers to express his blessing, next, let's listen to the speechless ending. "...... I think it is very bad. People can have no love, but they cannot be shameless. So I also called a video-on-demand song, "Happy Break Up" by Liang jingru.
　　　　
July 20
I used to like a girl and expressed my confession. The girl asked me why I liked her. I said: If you are me, you will also like your own. Later, she refused me. I am very sad. She didn't know me. I told her: If I were you, I would have liked myself!
　　
December 9
Today, the liquor in the restaurant has been watered again! Fuck! When I have money, I will also go to the big restaurant to drink touches, XO or something! And they will never confuse me with year 86 and year 72. If you want to drink it, you can bottle it for this year!
　　
September 12
In fact, steamed bread is omnipotent. You can eat it if you are hungry. If you want to eat a cake, you can flat your steamed bread. If you want to eat noodles, you can comb your steamed bread with a comb. If you want to eat a hamburger, you can cut the steamed bread and choose to eat ......
　　
September 12
For men, the upper half is the cultivation, the lower half is the essence, the upper half is the bait, and the lower half is the trap.
　　
September 10
Being single is painful. Being single for a long time is even more painful. I saw a sow a few days ago and thought it was pretty elegant ......
　　
June 22
There are two types of men: good color and good color;
Women are also divided into two types: one is to pretend pure, the other is to pretend not pure.
　　
January 19
Some people love movie A, some are three-level films, some are comedy films, and some are literature and art films;
I am the worst. My love process is literature film, comedy film, three-level film, a film, suspense film, action film, and kb film. what's even worse is that his mother inserts advertisements ......
　　
February 13
On Valentine's Day tomorrow, I found a girl who had a crush in my middle school and sent her a text message: if there is only one bowl of porridge, drink half a bowl first, and the remaining half a bowl, I put it in my arms to keep you warm ......
A few minutes later, she sent a text message: Who did you introduce? Four hundred at a time, seven hundred at night.
　　
February 14
The daughter-in-law is reluctant to keep the child from being a wolf, the daughter-in-law is reluctant to catch the rogue, and the update is not enough to collect ......
Today, I have been in a bad mood. The text message sent last night showed me that the girl I used to fall in love with has fallen. I told me that I had a four hundred error ......
At that time, I was so sad that I flipped through my wallet while I was sad:
So I am even more sad. I don't even have the capital to accompany her once ......
　　
April 15
You asked me, Where is happiness? I tell you, when you stick your toes, you will be closer to happiness. When you close your eyes, you will feel happy ......
For a long time, when we separated, I looked at your blushing cheek and asked you softly, do you feel happy?
You bowed your head gently and replied with a sigh of relief: You have eaten garlic today.
　　
May 10
What is cruelty?
If it's a man, I will interrupt him with three legs. If it's a male, I will interrupt him?
　　
May 16
Ma Shan was riding, and he was also riding.
People ride horses as sports, people ride horses as entertainment, and horses ride horses ...... Animal husbandry.
　　
June 9
I am in a bad mood today. I have only four words to say. This includes the preceding two sentences. My words are finished ......
　　　　
June 9
Teacher, you should have taken the lead!
Long time later ......
Teacher, you can spare me!
　　
July 23
To deal with evil people is more evil than him; to deal with mean people is more mean than him;
To deal with handsome people, you must be more elegant than him. To deal with handsome people, you must ...... Destroy his capacity
　　
July 23
The last time I fell in love, I learned that I should not find a girl who likes to be a hot girl.
Every time she was asked to finish the spicy hot pot, when we had sex together, I would think of a song in pain: "Burn it! Firebird.
　　
May 23
My principle is: people do not commit crimes to me, and I am not a prisoner; if people commit crimes to me, I will be angry!
　　
　　
May 23
I suddenly remembered that when I went to college, my teacher gave me a couplet: the country was prosperous, the home was prosperous, and the country was prosperous.
The shift leader goes down: the sky is magnificent, the Earth is magnificent, and the world is magnificent!
Later, I was driven out of the classroom ......
Because my downlink is: your mom's, his mom's, you fucking!
　　
May 23
I accidentally saw the so-called contemporary female mate selection standard in the book: There is a car and a house, and my parents are both dead.
Depressed. Then write down the criteria for choosing a wife in fantasies:
Home property over million, the world's first beauty, xianhui gentle and sexy, father-in-law late cancer ......
　　
July 17
The rebirth of Phoenix is Nirvana, while the rebirth of pheasant is the corpse.
　　
July 11
Life, you can't throw on a tree. You have to die several times on several trees nearby.
　　
August 18
I discovered that the way to attract a man is to keep him inaccessible; the opposite is to keep her satisfied.
　　　　
September 8
The miserable thing in life is that I had worked so hard to have a wonderful evening. I woke up the next morning and couldn't remember it all!
　　　　
May 19
The unfair world lies in:
God said: I want to shine! -- So there is a day.
The beauty said: I want a diamond ring! -- So she had a diamond ring.
Rich man said: I want a woman! -- So he has a woman.
I said: I want to take a bath! -- The water stops!
　　　　
May 8
After dinner, smoke and enjoy on the balcony, and suddenly see a flash in the night sky, the heart is excited: meteor! So I made a wish ......
After six or seven wishes were made, I blinked and the smoke was exhausted. Then I threw my hand out of the balcony and suddenly heard the voice of a girl in the building: "Wow! Meteor! Wishing ......"
　　
March 22
I remember one day after graduation, my girlfriend sent me a text message: "Let's break up !"
Before I can feel sad, my girlfriend sent another message: "Sorry, I made a mistake ."
This can be completely sad ......
　　
August 15
Wild Cat: where to go and where to go to bed.
Wild dogs: What to catch and what to eat.
Wild Man: see one person in love.
March 17
When you look at beautiful women in the street, you can enjoy the beauty when you look at the street.
　　
April 17
My friend said, "my girlfriend and I have a gap. I will give it to her. She says it's salty. She will give it to me. I say it's sour ......"
After thinking for a long time, I finally understood.
　　
September 6
My father asked me what I want to do in my life?
I answered the question of money and beauty. my father beat me fiercely;
I answered my career and love, and my father touched my head with appreciation.
　　
May 17
Scientific proof: inferior condoms are prone to rectal cancer.
　　
May 17
Xianghe bishui is cool, water is cool, summer is long, summer is cool, and the cool breeze is cool.
　　　　
September 9
Chastity varies from person to person. For example, a girl is praised as a virgin, but a boy is also laughed at as a virgin.
　　　　
October 31
Some people say that when my girlfriend is buried underground in spring, many girlfriends will be harvested in the fall.
My friend believed and did it. He buried his girlfriend in the ground in spring. In the fall, he was buried in the ground by Uncle police ......
　　　　
February 27
In the face of difficulties: Are you afraid of death or living?
In the face of danger: Are you afraid of living or dying?
This is Einstein's theory of relativity ......
　　
February 27
Girls care about the happiness of the next half of life; boys care about the happiness of the lower half ......
　　
February 27
If my life can be like a movie, I must make a rough cut, cut the section that I went to school when I was a teenager into subtitles, and cut the section that I learned when I was a young man into a close-up, cut the successful fragments of the middle-aged and old ages into the whole story ......
　　
October 28
Today, I met a female netizen named "Young Girl". The nickname is holding a rose, and she looks at the appointment location. Seeing a female holding a rose as a leader, she escaped and connected to the Internet at night, ask the other party: Why did your mom meet a netizen for you? ...... Since then, I am quietly lying in her blacklist.
　　
October 28
I really don't understand. Girls buy a lot of beautiful clothes to attract the boy's eyes, but what the boy wants to see is not dressed.
　　
December 31
In general, life-long one hundred is just a wish, but it is very easy for people to live one thousand two hundred years old, that is, you must bid your teeth and stick to months ......
　　
May 17
Everyone is an angel falling in the sky, but some are landing in good condition, some are landing in front of the ground, and some are unlucky. When they fall, they ride directly on the railing of the wall ......
　　
February 10
I finally came back alive!
I just met a netizen who looks like a flower or a disfigured version. Can you imagine it ......
　　
February 10
I like to give my life to fate: When I wake up in the morning, I will throw a coin. If the front is facing up, I will continue to sleep; if the back is facing up, I will lie in bed watching TV. If the coin is set up after it falls into the ground, I will get up and tidy up the house.
　　　　
February 22
Life-preserving lies in motion, and life-creating also lies in motion. The difference is that the bed is down.
　　
February 10
I slowly discovered that talents are goblin! Some goblins eat people, but people eat everything. If you catch a goblin, you may be able to have a barbecue!
　　
June 12
Brutal person-no need to find someone to kill.
Romantic people-nothing to find a beautiful girl to sleep.
Wealthy people -- they have nothing to do with buying a new car.
I -- it's okay to smoke a cigarette head ......
　　
June 12
When I was a young man for a while, I always wanted to show my own tough side, so I wanted to get a tattoo. The reason why I didn't implement it was: I 've been hesitating to make it better, or Iron Arm a tong Mu is good.
　　
March 11
Men are all good colors. A little more powerful color is called a color Wolf, and a little more powerful is called a color ghost. A little more powerful is called a color magic, especially a strong one, which becomes a changing color magic. The color is the ultimate, known as a human aesthetic artist.
　　
March 11
Don't go out in rainy days. Although the rain is not poisonous, the wet body is small, and the gonorrhea is big.
　　
March 11
I changed her from a girl to a woman; she changed me from a boy to a boy... poor.
　　
March 11
If happiness is a cloud, if the pain is like stars.
Then my life is really cloudification, with stars ......
-- An excerpt from the realibao log, January 1, March 11
What a man says about inner beauty refers to the inside of the bra, not the heart.
　　
March 11
I am degraded, and now I still can't swim, you know before I was born, I was definitely the fastest swimming ......
　　
July 21
People should learn to find some small happiness on their own, such as going to the street to see the beautiful women who don't belong to themselves, and going to the bank to see the money that doesn't belong to themselves, go to the auto show and check out sports cars that do not belong to you. Then look for a beggar in the street and tell yourself: It doesn't matter. Those just did not belong to him ......
　　
July 21
It has been raining for the past few days. I guess the Emperor Yu is crying. It must be because his marriage with his mother-in-law is not happy. There are two possibilities for this unhappiness. One is that the mother-in-law has left, one is that the queen mother refused to leave ......
　　
September 23
My sister asked me, "What is kissing like ?" I told her with a smile: "silly girl, say: Pig ~~~ when kissing ~~~"
My brother asked me, "What is kissing ?" I said, "kissing? Open your mouth and stick your tongue ."
　　
September 23
Menstrual Blood is the uterus crying for loneliness, and the dream is the capsule in tears for suppression. This shows that men have tears and don't play easily ......
　　
September 23
Is it cruel for a female to eat a worm after mating? But some women swallow countless descendants while mating ......
　　
February 18
Lie on your back tonight, sit up tomorrow morning, lie down tomorrow night, and support the day after tomorrow ~~~ Exercise is sometimes so simple.
　　
June 20
When I was a child, I often heard people commit suicide due to high life pressure. At that time, I knew how to die, but I didn't understand what pressure is. Now I have grown up, and I know what pressure is, I don't understand why there are so many people living ......
　　
June 20
God gave me a pair of eyes and showed me the world of life. God gave me another pair of hands and asked me to work hard to earn money. God gave me another mouth, let me use it to curse God's unfairness ......
　　
June 20
Regardless of the height of the station, a woman can only wet the land under her feet; a man is so powerful that the station is higher and the urine is farther away!
　　
June 20
Beautiful, pure, gentle, sexy, and cute virgins, like ghosts, men are talking about it, but no one has ever seen it with their own eyes ......
　　
04 years old. success --- no diapers 12 years old. success --- many friends are 16 years old. success --- a driver's license is 20 years old. success is --- having sex life at 35 years old. success --- there is a lot of money 50 years old. success --- there is a lot of money 60 years old. success is --- there is sex life 70 years old. success ---- 75 years old with a driver's license. success --- there are many friends who are 90 years old. success --- no diapers