If there is a formula for lasting marital love, will you follow it? Of course. Who do not want to have the feeling of lasting love? Catherine Johnson, an American scholar, made a list of the "lasting equation of marriage and love". Catherine said: I like to go to various wedding parties, look at the absolute mutual trust and passion of middle-aged and elderly couples dancing. Why are their marriages so happy and their lives so well? What are their secrets?
Catherine met 100 of these couples who had been married for the shortest seven years and 55 years. Below is a common formula for the lasting love of these couples.
◆ Intimacy Formula
Most of the 100 couples I met were immediately intimate after they met each other. They feel an unstoppable emotion that they want to combine and share their lives.
Coordination and thoughtfulness: This kind of intimacy includes a kind of coordination and thoughtful friendship, which is based on consistent enthusiasm and Mutual Difference. A wife put forward an interesting point of view, she said: "A happy marriage comes from two people with the opposite personality and basically the same situation ." Her husband is an optimistic person, but she is an introverted and pessimistic person. However, their common origins and religious beliefs made her fall in love with his spirit, and he fell in love with her delicate.
◆ Sharing formula
One spouse is making breakfast, and the other is walking the dog. After breakfast, the couple read the morning news. This is almost the case for all couples with stable relationships. Although these trivial matters cannot produce happiness, they inject trust and sense of responsibility into the marital relationship.
Ideal and goal: Happy couples are trying to change their home. They work together to enable them to buy a farm or a store. No matter what their goals are, the joint efforts to achieve their ideals will make the marital relationship shine.
◆ Formula of understanding
Couples with long-lasting love rarely quarrel, even if they are angry due to conflicts, they will be correctly handled. Of course, they have different solutions to the problem. Some couples solve conflicts on the same day, some let them spend the night, and then deal with them after they cool, some shout, some silence, and a couple come up with a way to avoid quarrel, if one party is angry, the other party will say, "The train is derailed!"
It is common for a partner to dig into each other. However, this has adverse effects. It is much better to encourage others.
Protocol and desire: Sometimes, even though they do their best, one or the other will leave the room in a big fight. The wife said, "If I go out, I will be back in five minutes. We don't even have to say 'Sorry, 'because we are very happy and they are coming together again ." The couple used this method to avoid further quarrel. The withdrawal of one party reminds the other of their agreement and their desire for marriage.
◆ Nourishing formula
When the spouse focuses on the advantages of the other party, their marriage will be nourished. This does not mean that both parties have to be optimistic, they may also be pessimistic, impatient, or melancholy people.
Optimistic realism is one of the characteristics of a happy marriage. Mature marital love means that we must accept the reality that we all have shortcomings. Being a real person means that marriage is bitter, happy, and difficult, rather than nagging.
Expectation and expectation: positive expectations can play a huge role. Those who are best at looking for the advantages of a spouse develop the best relationship and look forward to the spouse. When we like someone, we can see the best in his or her eyes.
◆ Change Formula
Many happy couples know how to change themselves. They say: as they get married, they all feel better, and their spouse agrees. Unexpectedly, many happy couples have experienced a marital crisis, but their marriages have survived and become increasingly happy.
For the development of love, we must give up some things. However, no one wants to give up personal development. The key is to estimate the room for change. Changes made by one Party may temporarily shake the current situation of the relationship. In fact, this encourages the other party.
Belief and belief: believe that your spouse will always change some of his or her shortcomings and help maintain marital relationships. In fact, people will change. We should believe that people cannot not change, and a good marriage can help people make love better.
◆ Understand the formula
Husband and wife need to maintain a strong, dynamic, non-defect and Pure sexual relations.
The Artistic Conception of love is mainly based on the foundation of sex-no matter how frequent or strong the conflicts between you are, but when the relationship between marriage and love develops forward, be aware of what you pay attention to-his humorous and optimistic attitude, and her encouragement and consideration for you.
Sincerity and frankness: For most couples, being loyal to their spouse does not make marriage happy, but it makes marriage possible. Obviously, loyalty is the most basic requirement of husband and wife, so that you can stay consistent with your partner's needs. It is easier for you to talk to your partner openly. This will not only help you to feel it, but also make him feel that you understand him or her ).
◆ Equality Formula
Generally, when the couple reach 40 or 50, they will not dispute over who is in the house, even if they have disputes. Although there will also be contradictions, they are not for power and status. In their minds, whatever they do, their efforts are considered important. When you begin to think more about and care about your relationship, you will receive more returns from each other.
Dominance and equality: the equality of happy couples is clearly reflected in financial management. Every happy couple, without exception, said that family income is shared by them, neither his nor her, and they never dispute over financial dominance.
◆ Friend Formula
Happy Marriages regard the spouse as the closest friend. However, if their relationship is sometimes not trustworthy or gentle enough, you should make formal arrangements. A positive spouse effect can be achieved only when positive arrangements are made.
pursuit and respect: in these long-lasting "friends" of marriage, the wife can freely pursue her own ideals. She knows that her husband's love and respect for her are unconditional, whether or not he understands her decision. And vice versa.