Encounter things don't win, don't argue, calm down again speak, red make communication can not go on, or not calm _ management

Encounter things do not win or lose, do not argue, calm and then speak, red to make communication can not go on, or not enough to calm down well, I have seen a lot of controversy, to say that I am arguing the right way of view. You can't get the results out of this discussion. The object of the argument, the purpose of which is not to be said, the assumption is a controversial issue, but also worthy of argument. One thing must be clear: if a long argument has not convinced the other, ask a question: "is not the content of my own words is not convincing." Why else would he disagree with me? "This is very important. First of all, do not assume that each other is a fool (otherwise there is no need to argue, because Only Fools argue with fools). Then came the question: "Why doesn't he understand?" or listen. "Because I have been involved and have seen a lot of controversy, if one side is really a lot better than the other, the problem is solved and the debate is not going to last." The arguments that can last for a long time, most of which are actually evenly matched, lack the necessary persuasion, and therefore lead to stalemate. There may be two ways to go: 1. In fact, they have better evidence (such as "facts", is the evidence can not be refuted, such as "data" is the embodiment of objective reality), but because of the quagmire of the controversy, so forget to say. 2. In fact, they are not yet able to convince each other. More powerful people should be invited to take part in the arbitration. I first understood these, is 10 years ago my teacher smiled and said: "I found a phenomenon, is the technical problem of stalemate only two:" 1 is out of order, 2 is a real master, a language. So, many times, if not the latter, then avoid the former. So, you have to balance your persuasion with the other person's understanding. Many times we feel that the other person has a problem with his or her understanding, and that there may be problems in forgetting our persuasion.