Get Jokes Collection website joke data backstage code, get jokes backstage Code _php tutorial

Get jokes on the website joke data backstage code, get jokes backstage Code

Recently made an app to get data on jokes collection sites for easy development. I first preprocessed the data with PHP.

The code is as follows

 "," ", $r); $r = Str_ireplace ("
"," ", $r); $r = Str_ireplace ("
"," \ r \ n ", $r); $this->joketext = $r; $begin = Stripos ($html," prev: Urlnext = substr ($html, $begin, $end-$begin);} $begin = Stripos ($html, "next: Urlprv = substr ($html, $begin, $end-$begin);}} function Getfirstlink () {$html = file_get_contents ($this->urlbase), $begin = Stripos ($html, "") +; $end = Stripos ($ HTML, "\" ", $begin); $r = substr ($html, $begin, $end-$begin); return $r;} function Getjoke ($u) {if ($u = = "") {$url = $this->urlbase. $this->getfirstlink ();} else{$url = $this->urlbase.urlencode ($u);} $this->getcontent ($url); $joke = Array (); $joke ["content"] = $this->joketext; $joke ["next] = $this->urlnext;$ Joke["previous"] = $this->urlprv;return $joke;}}

How to get 360 homepage joke code

1. There was a bear coming/prepared to come (bears come)
2.11th Book/Magic (BOOK11)
4. Xiao Yu told Xiao Ming that her father was impotent/unable to stop (Jade Dad)
5. The sheep stopped breathing/elated (the sheep did not exhale)
6. Mobile phone can not fall into the toilet (wet)
7. The dog is not called after the log bridge (the wood is not Wang)
8. Bees stop on the calendar/Sunny (Bee and calendar)
10. The painter likes to draw the thick rope does not like the thin rope/the superb (thick rope picturesque)
13. There are 10 sheep, nine squat in the pen, a squat in the pigsty/cadence (a sheep squatting wrong)
14. The sheep called the Eagle, the eagle picked up the phone and said "Hello"/responded (sheep phone eagle "Hello")
15. The hat is dirty to turn face and then wear/pigtailed (in the Dirty crown)
16.10 men watching five women bathing/colorful
17. Who has no phone? /day clothes (seamless phone)
18. Who knows birds best? /startled bow (frightened) Robin
22. How to silence the sparrow? /Press it for a moment (the pressure sparrow is silent)
23. What kind of snake has a lot of mouths? /rushes (Snake)
25. What medicine is not poisonous? /Yam
26. Why is "butterflies"/seven above eight? Because eight is under seven.
27. Which kind of snake has the strongest vitality? /Silver tongue (Snake)
28. Why do icebergs have only one corner? /The other corner was hit by the Titanic.

Recommend a few joke-telling websites

A joke-telling ...
Well, I'd like to, too, if you go to the sketch or listen to the radio.
Ha, my space is full of jokes, may wish to see
More in space AO, haha.
1, there is a second bus, drive past a BMW, next to his side of the people said: "Look, just the past that is IBM." ”

2, I a friend in the Unicom internship, one day, an old man walked recently, slashing to the sentence "Give me a mobile card, OK?" "Then my friend's head is not lifted to say:" Master, someone to smash the scene! ”

3, colleagues to see customers, may be nervous, an opening is: "Hello Mr. Liu, may I have your surname?" "Oh, sweat."

4, before the geography teacher is a man, special violence, who talk or wander up is a punch, but do not hit the girls, there is a new girl do not know, also thought of equality between women and men, one time she stole a class to read comics, geography teacher found, walked to her before, has not any said that the female students first frightened small face white, shouting: indecent ah. Our geography teacher Falls Khan.

5, my classmate said: I put too much detergent. Another question: what? Is your brother's daughter-in-law too much?

6, one day the wind, the bike poured a row, only listen to a classmate while the car side said: "Who's Mercedes-Benz pressure on my BMW?"

7, I used to call the boyfriend their dorm, the result is not his answer, a little embarrassed, made a name, said: "XX in?" "Want to pretend to find the wrong person is finished ~ ~ The other side hesitated, said:" You wait ah, I call you go. I was so dizzy! Quickly scared to hang up the phone. Later asked the boyfriend, he said they opposite the dormitory a boy told me to make up the name.

8, the last in a foreign country, in the street saw a do pastry selling handsome, my friend and I bought one side said he like Elvis, he heard us talking about him, asked us what, I think for a long time: "Kingofmiaomiao (meow meow)." ”

9, dorm girlfriends and netizens on the word that the head is obviously very excited: Hello, I am Wang Xiaoliang, you guess who I am? Can't afford to faint ...

10, from a friend to learn a sentence: send you 10 words-how far the mother, roll his mother how far. Remember the first time he said this to a group of us, I see everybody's down there. is not 10 words ..., more bull is, I take this sentence to n a friend said, basic 90% or more will hesitate a moment, mouth meditation or finger slightly move, then a face of smile said, rely on, also really is 10 words. It's a good thing, huh?
(It's so cold, it's winter now ...)

One day, eggplant walking in the street, suddenly hit a big sneeze. It wiped the snot and said angrily: "Damn! There's another group photo shoot! "

There are 30 frogs in a pool, and one wears underwear. (because he's a scrubbing!) ）

There was a pig, and it walked and walked, and came to England, and as a result he became what?----Pig.

The class teacher checks back the text, the pig, the puppy, the kitten all raised hands, the teacher will call who?--puppy, because Wang-wang.

Butterflies, ants, spiders, centipede, they work together, which of the last did not receive the reward?--centipede, because the power is not affected by LU.

The elephant's nose is the longest in the zoo, who is the second longest?--little elephant.

What kind of fruit has the worst eyesight?--Mango.

Which two kinds of fruit have cell phone?--turnip greens, each with Sony Ericsson.

If there is a car, the driver is the prince, the passenger is the princess, excuse me, who is this car?--If the

Kanagi, whose legs are long? ———— Ham Sausage

Eye snake and Elephant date, greeting a few after said: "Come on, still hold so big pig, polite." "

I think, as long as I have a little bit of modest quality, I am a perfect person.

One day, mung Bean broke up with his girlfriend. He was very sad, so he kept crying and crying, crying and crying. Results...... Sprout up. ~ ~

Two jellyfish collided with the sea, jellyfish a: "What the hell!" You can't swim long eyes! "Jellyfish B:" What is the eye ah? "Jellyfish A:" I do not know, the last time I hit someone with the way he scolded me. "Jellyfish B:" Oh! Oh, that's it! 」

In the elementary school nature class, the teacher told us there would be knee-jerk reflex when the knee was hit lightly. When I got home, I took a hammer and hammered it on my dad's knee, and my dad stood up and kicked my leg. It turned out that the teacher was right!

If one day I ... Remaining full text >>

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