How do people become mature?

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I like the idea of equivalent exchange in the anime "Steel Alchemy Master".
I have always believed that all of this universe is the conservation of energy, all have a price, but some intangible, some tangible. Some are recognized by the world, and some can only bear it alone.
And for individual individuals, there is such a word.
You want to get what you never get, it also means you want to lose what you have never lost to change.

Peter Parker, for example, is a Spider-Man at best when he encounters a spider bite mutation. The reason to become Spider-Man, rather than for their own benefit and the use of super power, but also because he spared the criminals, but make uncle died this accident and the introspection and maturity.

To become mature, some answers are always politically correct. For example, more reading, more pondering, more contact with excellent people, and then think, persist. It's always the right thing to say, but the question is, why are so few people really able to do that? Of course, there are factors of personality and environment, but there are still many people who even realize that they still can't do it, why? -Because many people lack the power to do these things.

You and a fat man said you want to lose weight, he also know to lose weight, but know to lose weight, and from the bottom of my heart want to do, but across a piece of the Pacific so far.
On the contrary, a big beauty to Fat said, you lose weight success I am with you, this source of power can let him immediately boiling blood.

So we are the same, we have heard so many reasons, don't know right and wrong?
But even though you know something is right, you don't know if you need to do it, because a lot of the right things don't make people happy. What is more frightening is that we are afraid that even if we do, there may be no result.

"Now I go to the crossroads of life, I know which way is right, without exception, I know, but I never go, why?" Because it's so fucking hard. "--smell the scent of women"
Stomach motility is not enough, can look for morpholine, to self-change the source of power is insufficient, how to find?

I still like to share some stories, because there are so many things to think about in the real experience, far more than direct conclusions.

One.
Primary school, a classmate, originally a dude, life is comfortable and rich, poor character, like fighting. The five-year summer, his father accidentally died, said to be owed a huge gambling debt, a moment to think not open. Later sold the house to pay debts, from then on, the whole people also began to become reticent, serious reading.
His transformation is very sudden, almost overnight, like a change of a person, it is not difficult to imagine, after that every night, his heart how to endure.

Many years later, he has become a very good gentle person, he told me, after losing his father, he began to realize that he did not have a father, what is what, look at the weak mother crying, he thought, there is a mother need to protect themselves, so must quickly grow, to become strong, reliable, let the mother rest assured.

This example, it is easy to go to extremes, because a thought is not right, it is possible to move towards astray. So the story is just a story, not as a guideline, I tell the story, is to express an idea.

When one realizes from every pore that he cannot rely on any other person, he cannot always put his hopes in the outside world, and only by making himself strong to protect himself and his beloved, he begins to grow rapidly.


Two.
I a mentor told me about his brother, the teacher is the rural people in Qinghai. Childhood home Poor, junior high school, younger brother do not love reading, temper is not good, old want to go out to work, and home also old trouble. One summer vacation, he ran away from home after a big quarrel with his family.
At home for three or four days, all despair. At this time, he went home.
A man, empty-handed and dusty, was pale. He hid in the room without a word and slept.
Then with my mentor to talk with him, only to know that he was cheated to dig coal mine, results in half the road was dropped, all luggage was robbed.
And that place, is a desert area without the land. He walked home alone, camped, hungry, and worried about the beast and his own exhaustion in the wilderness.
Wake up in the middle of the night, staring at the stars, his heart instantaneous extremely calm, before those hostility suddenly swept away, he began to think about their value, family significance, what the future, life needs how to spend and so on. Although I can't say why, but he began to learn his own reflection and thinking.
Later, my mentor's brother has undergone tremendous changes, began to sink to serious reading, to understand the outside world, to ask my mentor many life thinking. Really love to read and think.
Many years later, he became a high school physics teacher. This is what he had never expected.
Without that accident, there was no real quiet night, and maybe he really wandered out and became a working prodigal.

Life is to open some casual jokes, to give you a turn, tripping a road, and then give you a different perspective.
Some people are lucky to find that some people have been ignoring for a lifetime. Then remember the past and hate the present. To blame it all on fate.
I'm not sure if it's really Socrates, there's a saying: Life without scrutiny is not worth it.
A person who does not understand scrutinized, a lifelong muddle, the people with the drift, seemingly busy, seemingly hard, may have never matured.


Three.
Think about it, or put your own experience in it, it is a review of their own, quite feeling the vicissitudes of life. Will not be tempted to say a few words, but also a self-reflection it again.

Many years ago, I used to like a girl very much, totally overwhelmed by that. But she is a clever and quiet girl, I am too naïve, too impetuous, has not accepted me. I thought that read a few obscure books, more talk about some tall on the topic, more understanding of some historical philosophy, girls will think I mature, have the only. Do not know, so think of themselves, is the most naïve.
Because I read the source of power just to let girls think I mature, there is connotation, I read the book itself or resist, just swallowed, superficial understanding. oneself see dizzy not to say, read what can not remember, can only excerpt some wonderful words couplets, go to the watercress to see others summary and book review, to impersonate the study. (But at least with this source, I started to touch a lot of books.) ）

In a chat, in order to appear in front of the girl is learned. I pretend to be very understanding of the appearance of the shell of the science and technology knowledge, mended the scene there is a doctor of science, an understatement of my retort to pieces, like to disappear in the world minutes.

Later I did not want to read more, thought I was not bad condition, she likes not to like, why do not have to follow her request.
So he began in the outside Warbler Yanyan, feasting, more impetuous.

If that goes on, I will only become a more and more annoying person, talk frivolous, smooth, smug, empty head.

If, without that accident.

In one of the hormones impetuous late at night, on the microblog to see a favorite girl fat belly very hungry, good to eat supper. So the trend in the following reply I drive to take you to AH.
Excitedly go out, all the way to gallop. So that night, a lifetime of unforgettable accident.

The specific process of the car accident I do not want to describe, but the impact of the accident on me is huge, life and death, the value, life, attitude and other technician, from all means, let my life has a turning point.

After one months, I almost locked myself in my room, and I didn't want to touch anything, I didn't want to see anyone except to go to the bathroom.

I began to sleep, Daze, to begin to slowly recall their years of life attitude, behavior, feel ashamed unceasingly.
It was strange that I suddenly felt how I could have lived as before. I began to buy a lot of books that I had never read before, and I found myself able to see the rest of my heart, and some eyes were pleasantly surprised.

One of the most influential books for me is "six ancestral altar Sutra" "Fanatics" Alandeporton "Love Notes" "Love Romance" "Crime and Punishment", there is a book I have read many times the only one of Anne's treasures-"Lotus". Although Anne baby other books I do not catch cold, but lotus this book, really many sentences are like a slap on my face at that time, let me ponder the alert.

These books have completely fascinated me with the world of words and thinking, and I began to really develop the habit of reading and thinking about writing alone.

I began to adjust myself, simplifying my life and interpersonal relationships, clarifying the direction and pursuit of life, and living a fulfilling and simple life.
Two years later, all my friends, including my parents, saw my change. I've changed from a grumpy brat to a comfortable self, gentle, calm, down to earth doing things I love, good at, and constantly starting to learn new technologies, knowing lots of interesting people and listening to a lot of special experiences and stories. Also let me see the world, more and more soft.

The accident is certainly not what I expected, but I am grateful for its occurrence, if it is not the car accident, I dare not imagine, now I will be a kind of person.


The story is finished, I want to say, young we are always eager to mature quickly, independently. But a lot of things really is a waste of time, did not personally experience the nothingness and absurdity of the world, the change and impermanence of life, the complex and delicate feelings, it is really difficult to mature. There is also just a disguise of the worldly.

You want to mature emotionally, not be hurt one or two times, sad lovelorn, is not natural mature, natural veteran.
The paper came to the end of the light, I know this matter to preach. The ancestors have said very concise.
I have written a paragraph: Who is born to sensible, but see a lot of disgusting people.

When we were young, we had so many wonderful imaginations about the world, and we were involved in a lot of games and rules of society and reality, so that you could experience the complexity and simplicity of the world, fun and helplessness.

The Bible says, "You must enter the narrow gate." For the gate is wide, the road is large, and there are many people in it, and the door is narrow, the road is small, and few are found.

In fact, a lot of advice, the key is to see if you can take the first step.

I met a lot of people, and I am dissatisfied with the status quo want to change, but always the next sentence is self-justification, such as Who let me poor, I fat, I do not have a good father, I read enough, I do not exercise, I do not have special skills, I like the people will not like me. Even if I try not to be a natural winner, or the most disgusting is-obviously want to change, not to be ignorant of the conscience said I think now so light life is very good, good your sister, you have an extraordinary?
If one is to insist on self-justification, I can only carve out two characters in his future life: deserve it.

Desire itself is not a bad thing, want to make money, want to and beautiful good people talk about friends, want a wonderful and interesting life, this is human nature.
Bad is bad in dare not to face their own desires, do not want to believe the plasticity of people, once again suppress their desire to change the mood.
Want to change, on the positive feelings of their own, loudly say, "I want to change!" "It's not embarrassing!"

Pascal asks: What is a man in infinity?
How does a person define himself, change himself, find himself? This is the biggest subject of everyone's life.
I like the Pascal's answer: Man is only a reed, is the most fragile nature, but he is a thinking of the reed.

With gentlemen mutual encouragement, there are English proverbs to each other--
"The best time to plant a tree was years ago. The second best time was now.
(The best time to plant a tree is ten years ago, followed by the present.) ）

I especially believe that the most important thing in every life is to keep on renewing itself.

How do people become mature?