How introverted people can improve interpersonal relationships

Many introverted people want to change their introverted personality, improve their ability to interact with others, and then have good interpersonal relationships. As a result, they read many books on interpersonal relationships and learned many interpersonal skills. However, they found that the effect was minimal and the effect was not obvious. This shows that learning is far from enough. They cannot have good interpersonal relationships, not only because of lack of skills, but also for many deeper reasons. At the same time, this also shows from one aspect that the books on interpersonal relationships are flawed and incomplete. To have a good interpersonal relationship, an introverted person must change and improve his/her beliefs, attitudes, skills, and other aspects.

I. Belief: Establish a "win-win" (equality and mutual benefit) belief

To have good interpersonal relationships, we must have the idea of equality and mutual benefit. To be fashionable, we must have a win-win thinking.

There are several ways of thinking about interpersonal relationships:

1. I win and lose:
We have been educated since childhood to strengthen this idea. You must take the test to be better than others. During a sports competition, you must run faster than others and jump higher than others. You must win the championship. In short, only when we surpass others and win can we feel happy. We regard life as an arena. To succeed and be happy, we must surpass others and leave others behind.
In addition, selfish people hold this idea of winning your losses.

2. I will lose you and win:
People who lack self-confidence and self-esteem often think this way.
They do not dare to stick to their own positions, and sacrifice their personal interests to seek perfection at the sacrifice of peace.

3. Both losses:
On the surface, it seems that no one will be able to do so. But some people want to do this! If you are not willing to harm others, you should sacrifice yourself and drag you down to get revenge.

4. Win-win:
Win-win is based on the idea of equality and mutual benefit. Profit on your own, but do not harm the interests of others. Instead of confrontation between yourself and others, you and I are not the two sides of the enemy, but the comrades in the same trench, sharing wealth and difficulties, and creating a bright future together.

I win you lose (selfish), I lose you win (whatever you want), and I lose both sides (both sides hurt). These thinking models cannot make people have good interpersonal relationships. To have good interpersonal relationships, we must have a win-win thinking and an idea of equality and mutual benefit.