Lin pair Right
Man is a social animal, and interpersonal communication is a topic that everyone can avoid and avoid. Although Sartre says "others are hell", each of us needs a space for ourselves, but on the other hand, everyone needs good interpersonal relationships. What other people can bring to us is not only the richness of resources, the development of vision, but also the enlightenment of thought and the support of emotion in many times. Sometimes deep interpersonal relationships can even help us to better understand ourselves, to complete introspection and growth.
The following five words from my parents, teachers, books, friends and people concerned, in these years of interpersonal communication, let me benefit, hope also useful to you.
do not easily treat others as your enemies or friends, but be sure to treat everyone as your teacher.
That's what my dad told me before I was in college. Later found that the greatest significance of this sentence is to teach me how to learn the merits of others, sincere appreciation of others, good people do not produce jealousy.
In fact, many people around us, it is difficult to sincerely and better than their own people become friends. Some people shine, natural people are silhouetted against the bleak. Everyone has their own pride, who will always give others a supporting role? Even many of the same excellent people are difficult to become friends, since ancient times have "beauty light", there is "disparage each other", there is "both born and Sheng".
At this time, the benefits of being a teacher are reflected. See others better than you, you will not be busy sour expression of contempt and disdain, and will feel a rare learning object. You will try to close him and make friends with him, observe his actions, listen to his thoughts, and analyze his good sources from his demeanor. Aside from those who succeed by means you do not recognize, most of the time you will find that all others are better than you, and must be more diligent than you.
You have a vague desire to be good, and expect one day to be with them, and you are beginning to work hard. Then you will find that many things seem simple and really childs. At this time you will have a heartfelt admiration for these people, once you feel in an environment, everyone is similar, you can do me, now understand how much they have done more than you, have dumped you how far. At this time their meaning to you, has become a beacon and road signs, is your teeth persist when the heart of the lot more heat.
One day you look back, you will find that you have gone a long way. You also have a great friend, a strong opponent. And then look at those who still do not know, standing in the ground to throw sour words, you will be 100,000 points to congratulate their original choice. These excellent people just appeared, their light will sting your eyes, but if you can come closer to see, you will find that this is a window that will let you see the new World.
before you try to judge someone, you know that a lot of people are not like you.
This sentence is the first sentence of The Great Gatsby. This sentence teaches me not to easily evaluate others, everyone's behavior has its own starting point and reason, will be limited by themselves, to try to think and empathy, seek common ground to understand others.
First of all, the recent fire "Ode to Joy," the extravagant in front of a special love of the fairy, the back because things too much to make big wave people powder black. Her focus on Shengmi is largely due to her own superiority and her blindness to the situation of others. Shing in her heart, is a covered with a cargo of love vain fishing girl. But she did not think, if she has Shing such a family, in Shing that situation, whether can do better than Shing? If she can think in this way, she will probably take her sarcasm back a bit.
And this point in the face of the people we are close to pay more attention to. A lot of people will be unconscious of strangers wide and close to the strict, because to close people we always have more expectations. But we also have to realize that these our dear people, in fact, are common, they will have their own limitations, have their own ignorance and weakness. Instead of trying to understand and accept this, just trying to criticize and transform them will only hurt others. By understanding them instead of criticizing them, by accepting them instead of trying to transform them, it is also the key to reconciliation with yourself and truly grow in the mind.
Other times, this "is not like you" is not "not good", but "unlike you." You eat sweet tofu bean curd I eat salty tofu, you are gay I am heterosexual, these actually are not good or bad on the wrong score, just different. And once you're biased, it's hard to make an objective assessment. It is difficult for others to express themselves in good faith. "I" in "The Great Gatsby", because learn to retain the judgment of others, many eccentric people will speak to him, and finally heard the Story of Gatsby. In real life, there are people surprised that I can always hear strange stories, there are always someone willing to tell me the absurdity of their own, I think this should be because I learned to judge others.
Each person opens the heart the moment is very precious, when others open to you the heart, must stop the hand all listens attentively
This sentence, is our university's thinking teacher in class said, this sentence taught me to learn to listen to others, but also let me directly harvest a lot of friends a word.
When I entered the university for more than a year, the relationship with the roommates is still faint. One day to the library, met a roommate at the door, told me she was particularly depressed, feel that they chose the wrong professional, said to cry. I was surprised, but still sat down to chat with her. I did not expect that, after that day, she became my closest and best friend for the next six years. I found that people are really a wonderful creature. Most of the time we hold our inner shell tightly, and enjoy ourselves with all our selves. But in some moments this shell will open, we will especially have to talk about the impulse, hope that there is a person can say the conversation. If someone passes by and listens patiently, we will probably share the core of ourselves. Some people like new, someone pour cover as before, to see if you are lucky to encounter this heart open for a moment.
Aware of this, I and many friends promise that when you want to have someone to chat with, I must be in. And then, in these long, short, funny, boring ramble, it really has a new meaning to the friendship of many people. And later saw someone read "non-violent communication," said that the simple listening in itself is a kind of power, can heal the body and mind. "Once someone listens, there is a solution to a seemingly unresolved problem, and a multitude of ideas becomes clear."
Think of my aunt's sister, Lovelorn came to our school to find me. I accompany her to sit for a day, listen to her while crying and talk, feel that they do not help any busy. It was really sad at the time, no matter how close to the person, you can not feel the pain of her empathy. Her heart was pouring with rain and the world was collapsing, and you were sitting next to her but helpless. But now I think about it, she doesn't really need me to do anything. Quiet companionship and listening, is to give her the best comfort. After the emotional vent, her heart naturally will be the storm, the ruins will also give birth to the strength to rebuild. What she needed at the time, what everyone needed at a vulnerable time was nothing but a reassuring person, a pair of ears who would listen patiently to her. People are self-centered, but they all need the support and attention of others. We want someone to listen to us carefully, and we should learn how to listen to others carefully.
when you are dissatisfied with others, try to say it to your face .
"The Confession of an advertiser," wrote, "I am angry with my friends, I frankly confide, the gas with the elimination." I am angry with the enemy, I do not show the slightest, anger with the increase. "And before I read this book, a friend of mine taught me this, and I learned how to better deal with the dissatisfaction and negative feelings of others.
At that time because of what has been forgotten, our relationship suddenly became embarrassed embarrassed embarrassed. About half a month later, she came to me and talked to me about what I had done to annoy her, and what she felt in the matter. She said that if she hadn't played with me since then, she would have swallowed the matter down. But she still wanted to be friends with me, so she said it and wanted to hear what I was thinking. So if I had no intention at that time, I could explain it clearly. Really wrong, she also gave me the opportunity to apologize, let me know the next time to pay attention. With the words open, the matter is really over, and our relationship is indeed back to the intimacy of the past.
This matter let me have a good reflection of the next self, before others have a negative emotion, think we still want to be friends, I will silently swallow down. But in the heart, is always a thorn, can not help each other have a little snub and alienation. In fact, you have negative feelings for others, others can feel, uninformed feel your indifference, will be particularly inexplicable, will not consciously you have an aversion. It was in order to maintain friendship, but in fact it became a loss.
And sometimes this silence, in fact, also kills the other side of the opportunity to explain. Like before the fire of an article, "If I owe you five yuan, please tell me", she thought the taxi driver to find their own five dollars, generous point forget, the results found that they are less to others five pieces. And the driver did not tell her, just in the mind that this celebrity incredibly even five dollars of cheap accounted for. It says, "Is there some time when we think we are silently tolerating someone's act, and in fact, our silence is a misunderstanding of that innocent person, so that he doesn't know where to offend you?" "We want to acknowledge the loss and not express our views, but inadvertently, we have prejudiced our relationship or the reputation of an innocent person." ”
So the next time your friend does something that makes you unhappy, don't tolerate it silently or spit it in the back, try telling him to your face.
How many people you can help, how big your influence is.
If not mistaken, this sentence was first heard, is in the action of founder Qi Qi's online sharing. This sentence teaches me not to be afraid of losing, learn to give, do what you can to help others.
Qi Qi said that in modern society, information has become more and more transparent, so do not hide, to share what you know, when your information on the value of others, you have a link between you, you have a influence on others. The development of the action faction, now formed more than 200,000 people's community, it is the practice of this sharing concept of Qi Qi. My mentor has also said a similar phrase, "What does leadership mean?" How many people can you teach and how many people you can lead. ”
And even better, the initiative to help generate links is also feasible for people who are better than your cows. Cattle people are used to be someone hug thigh, if you can in some areas to help him, even if not so much, at least can let the other side feel your sincerity and character, give you a good chance to get acquainted. Jane's book Swift a cat teacher is a good example, white body Chuangjianghu, become a book chief interviewer, hooking up the big God. and Zhao teacher Anti-interview him, wrote a "Why you can't become Swift a cat", one of them is to boast that he knows "initiative to become the resources of others." Said cat teacher in the process of interviewing him, has been asked to do something for him. "When you take the initiative to become someone else's resource, others automatically become your resource. ”
Adam Smith wrote in the theory of wealth that the market economy, like an invisible hand, translates everyone's "self-interest" into "the Journey of profit", meaning that a person can gain his or her own benefit only if he creates value for others. It may sound utilitarian, but it is the most righteous rule in the real world. "Will want to take, must first give", expect others how to you, must first learn how to treat others. Learn to think more about what you can do for others, maybe there will be a lot of unexpected gains.
Man is a social animal, and interpersonal communication is a topic that everyone can avoid and avoid. Although Sartre says "others are hell", each of us needs a space for ourselves, but on the other hand, everyone needs good interpersonal relationships. What other people can bring to us is not only the richness of resources, the development of vision, but also the enlightenment of thought and the support of emotion in many times. Sometimes deep interpersonal relationships can even help us to better understand ourselves, to complete introspection and growth.
The following five words from my parents, teachers, books, friends and people concerned, in these years of interpersonal communication, let me benefit, hope also useful to you.
do not easily treat others as your enemies or friends, but be sure to treat everyone as your teacher.
That's what my dad told me before I was in college. Later found that the greatest significance of this sentence is to teach me how to learn the merits of others, sincere appreciation of others, good people do not produce jealousy.
In fact, many people around us, it is difficult to sincerely and better than their own people become friends. Some people shine, natural people are silhouetted against the bleak. Everyone has their own pride, who will always give others a supporting role? Even many of the same excellent people are difficult to become friends, since ancient times have "beauty light", there is "disparage each other", there is "both born and Sheng".
At this time, the benefits of being a teacher are reflected. See others better than you, you will not be busy sour expression of contempt and disdain, and will feel a rare learning object. You will try to close him and make friends with him, observe his actions, listen to his thoughts, and analyze his good sources from his demeanor. Aside from those who succeed by means you do not recognize, most of the time you will find that all others are better than you, and must be more diligent than you.
You have a vague desire to be good, and expect one day to be with them, and you are beginning to work hard. Then you will find that many things seem simple and really childs. At this time you will have a heartfelt admiration for these people, once you feel in an environment, everyone is similar, you can do me, now understand how much they have done more than you, have dumped you how far. At this time their meaning to you, has become a beacon and road signs, is your teeth persist when the heart of the lot more heat.
One day you look back, you will find that you have gone a long way. You also have a great friend, a strong opponent. And then look at those who still do not know, standing in the ground to throw sour words, you will be 100,000 points to congratulate their original choice. These excellent people just appeared, their light will sting your eyes, but if you can come closer to see, you will find that this is a window that will let you see the new World.
before you try to judge someone, you know that a lot of people are not like you.
This sentence is the first sentence of The Great Gatsby. This sentence teaches me not to easily evaluate others, everyone's behavior has its own starting point and reason, will be limited by themselves, to try to think and empathy, seek common ground to understand others.
First of all, the recent fire "Ode to Joy," the extravagant in front of a special love of the fairy, the back because things too much to make big wave people powder black. Her focus on Shengmi is largely due to her own superiority and her blindness to the situation of others. Shing in her heart, is a covered with a cargo of love vain fishing girl. But she did not think, if she has Shing such a family, in Shing that situation, whether can do better than Shing? If she can think in this way, she will probably take her sarcasm back a bit.
And this point in the face of the people we are close to pay more attention to. A lot of people will be unconscious of strangers wide and close to the strict, because to close people we always have more expectations. But we also have to realize that these our dear people, in fact, are common, they will have their own limitations, have their own ignorance and weakness. Instead of trying to understand and accept this, just trying to criticize and transform them will only hurt others. By understanding them instead of criticizing them, by accepting them instead of trying to transform them, it is also the key to reconciliation with yourself and truly grow in the mind.
Other times, this "is not like you" is not "not good", but "unlike you." You eat sweet tofu bean curd I eat salty tofu, you are gay I am heterosexual, these actually are not good or bad on the wrong score, just different. And once you're biased, it's hard to make an objective assessment. It is difficult for others to express themselves in good faith. "I" in "The Great Gatsby", because learn to retain the judgment of others, many eccentric people will speak to him, and finally heard the Story of Gatsby. In real life, there are people surprised that I can always hear strange stories, there are always someone willing to tell me the absurdity of their own, I think this should be because I learned to judge others.
Each person opens the heart the moment is very precious, when others open to you the heart, must stop the hand all listens attentively
This sentence, is our university's thinking teacher in class said, this sentence taught me to learn to listen to others, but also let me directly harvest a lot of friends a word.
When I entered the university for more than a year, the relationship with the roommates is still faint. One day to the library, met a roommate at the door, told me she was particularly depressed, feel that they chose the wrong professional, said to cry. I was surprised, but still sat down to chat with her. I did not expect that, after that day, she became my closest and best friend for the next six years. I found that people are really a wonderful creature. Most of the time we hold our inner shell tightly, and enjoy ourselves with all our selves. But in some moments this shell will open, we will especially have to talk about the impulse, hope that there is a person can say the conversation. If someone passes by and listens patiently, we will probably share the core of ourselves. Some people like new, someone pour cover as before, to see if you are lucky to encounter this heart open for a moment.
Aware of this, I and many friends promise that when you want to have someone to chat with, I must be in. And then, in these long, short, funny, boring ramble, it really has a new meaning to the friendship of many people. And later saw someone read "non-violent communication," said that the simple listening in itself is a kind of power, can heal the body and mind. "Once someone listens, there is a solution to a seemingly unresolved problem, and a multitude of ideas becomes clear."
Think of my aunt's sister, Lovelorn came to our school to find me. I accompany her to sit for a day, listen to her while crying and talk, feel that they do not help any busy. It was really sad at the time, no matter how close to the person, you can not feel the pain of her empathy. Her heart was pouring with rain and the world was collapsing, and you were sitting next to her but helpless. But now I think about it, she doesn't really need me to do anything. Quiet companionship and listening, is to give her the best comfort. After the emotional vent, her heart naturally will be the storm, the ruins will also give birth to the strength to rebuild. What she needed at the time, what everyone needed at a vulnerable time was nothing but a reassuring person, a pair of ears who would listen patiently to her. People are self-centered, but they all need the support and attention of others. We want someone to listen to us carefully, and we should learn how to listen to others carefully.
when you are dissatisfied with others, try to say it to your face .
"The Confession of an advertiser," wrote, "I am angry with my friends, I frankly confide, the gas with the elimination." I am angry with the enemy, I do not show the slightest, anger with the increase. "And before I read this book, a friend of mine taught me this, and I learned how to better deal with the dissatisfaction and negative feelings of others.
At that time because of what has been forgotten, our relationship suddenly became embarrassed embarrassed embarrassed. About half a month later, she came to me and talked to me about what I had done to annoy her, and what she felt in the matter. She said that if she hadn't played with me since then, she would have swallowed the matter down. But she still wanted to be friends with me, so she said it and wanted to hear what I was thinking. So if I had no intention at that time, I could explain it clearly. Really wrong, she also gave me the opportunity to apologize, let me know the next time to pay attention. With the words open, the matter is really over, and our relationship is indeed back to the intimacy of the past.
This matter let me have a good reflection of the next self, before others have a negative emotion, think we still want to be friends, I will silently swallow down. But in the heart, is always a thorn, can not help each other have a little snub and alienation. In fact, you have negative feelings for others, others can feel, uninformed feel your indifference, will be particularly inexplicable, will not consciously you have an aversion. It was in order to maintain friendship, but in fact it became a loss.
And sometimes this silence, in fact, also kills the other side of the opportunity to explain. Like before the fire of an article, "If I owe you five yuan, please tell me", she thought the taxi driver to find their own five dollars, generous point forget, the results found that they are less to others five pieces. And the driver did not tell her, just in the mind that this celebrity incredibly even five dollars of cheap accounted for. It says, "Is there some time when we think we are silently tolerating someone's act, and in fact, our silence is a misunderstanding of that innocent person, so that he doesn't know where to offend you?" "We want to acknowledge the loss and not express our views, but inadvertently, we have prejudiced our relationship or the reputation of an innocent person." ”
So the next time your friend does something that makes you unhappy, don't tolerate it silently or spit it in the back, try telling him to your face.
How many people you can help, how big your influence is.
If not mistaken, this sentence was first heard, is in the action of founder Qi Qi's online sharing. This sentence teaches me not to be afraid of losing, learn to give, do what you can to help others.
Qi Qi said that in modern society, information has become more and more transparent, so do not hide, to share what you know, when your information on the value of others, you have a link between you, you have a influence on others. The development of the action faction, now formed more than 200,000 people's community, it is the practice of this sharing concept of Qi Qi. My mentor has also said a similar phrase, "What does leadership mean?" How many people can you teach and how many people you can lead. ”
And even better, the initiative to help generate links is also feasible for people who are better than your cows. Cattle people are used to be someone hug thigh, if you can in some areas to help him, even if not so much, at least can let the other side feel your sincerity and character, give you a good chance to get acquainted. Jane's book Swift a cat teacher is a good example, white body Chuangjianghu, become a book chief interviewer, hooking up the big God. and Zhao teacher Anti-interview him, wrote a "Why you can't become Swift a cat", one of them is to boast that he knows "initiative to become the resources of others." Said cat teacher in the process of interviewing him, has been asked to do something for him. "When you take the initiative to become someone else's resource, others automatically become your resource. ”
Adam Smith wrote in the theory of wealth that the market economy, like an invisible hand, translates everyone's "self-interest" into "the Journey of profit", meaning that a person can gain his or her own benefit only if he creates value for others. It may sound utilitarian, but it is the most righteous rule in the real world. "Will want to take, must first give", expect others how to you, must first learn how to treat others. Learn to think more about what you can do for others, maybe there will be a lot of unexpected gains.
In interpersonal communication, these five words must be kept in mind
