It's loneliness that makes you outstanding.

Long ago, longing for freedom, thought freedom was free, freely.

Later, in the face of freedom, only to find that self-discipline is free.

When a person lacks self-discipline, the things he does are always influenced by habits and immediate temptations, or by the ideas of others, and almost never can do what the heart really desires.
And this self-discipline premise is that you have to endure loneliness.

Loneliness • A person

Compared to Westerners, we are more afraid of loneliness, do not know how to enjoy a person's time, and too much care about other people's views, always want to look for their own sense of existence in other eyes. In the eyes of Westerners, we are a little "over-social".

What is effective socializing? Have clear issues and goals, and be able to work around this topic and goals, find problems and solutions, reach agreement, clear follow-up and responsible people, control time and efficiency. Of course, this is for work, no one in life is so rigid. Personally, for private social activities unrelated to work, the average of 2 times a week is normal, greater than or equal to 3 times will be excessive consumption of their own (time-consuming, consumption of money, consumption of life).

Loneliness • Several people

Let me give you two examples:

A, about two or three personal relationships very good former colleagues, eat a AA lunch, enhance feelings, chat about their respective status and future plans, open up ideas, to go to work in the afternoon before going to see an exhibition, in the relaxed mood at the same time also cultivate interest, There was no delay in work. There is a definite purpose, there is control time, and there is a lot more, this is effective social.

B, in the afternoon in Beijing Sanlitun meet customers exhausted, not to work time, but now back to the company is not worth, do not want to go home, why? In the circle of friends to send a word: "There are in the vicinity of three Li Tun?" Accompany me to sing a drink, give a sweet kiss. "A sudden pile of replies (just because of beauty), half an hour later 1, 1 hours later 2, 2 hours later a 3, some not unripe, some have never seen, stayed half an hour to go, midnight one or two after the continuous in and out, wine drink a lot, Rice didn't how to eat, sing to 4 o'clock in the morning hungry flustered, Come out to eat a supper, and so back home are 6 o'clock, a tie to bed sleep 2, 3 hours, dragging tired body, chaotic mind, full of guilt feeling to go to work ... Pure lonely empty cold, no practical purpose, no specific person, in time incontinence, smashing money ruined the body also delayed work, this is over social, ineffective social.

The immediate consequence of over-socializing is that your disposable time, money, and life are wasted, especially time. For the non-traditional industry workers in the first-tier cities, the daily disposable time is very limited except for work, traffic and sleep time. These precious times can be used for thinking, reading, developing interest, self-improvement, rest and relaxation, fitness, health, love, reverse telecommuting, entrepreneurship and so on, if over-social, these things will be squeezed, and even disappear from your life.

I would like to emphasize "reflection" in particular. Why do you have to reflect? Because at work time, there is no quiet environment and the whole piece of time for you to calmly reflect. People are in constant introspection in the awareness of obstacles, sedimentation advantage, clear direction, to achieve sustained growth. There is no progress in a person who is obsessed with the day and does not seek time for independent reflection. What's the reflection? Reflect on the problems that arise in the work today, what experiences and lessons, how to improve them, reflect on the negligence and negligence in interpersonal communication, reflect on the plans for tomorrow's work and life, reflect on an interesting thing that has happened today, and reflect on a piece of paper that is hard to refine today on a sticker. and reflect on what important things I have not done, the important people do not see, the important place does not go, and even reflect on their own inner life of every thought, the standard of living and what they really want to pursue life ... (Confucian Way of cultivation: the three provinces of the daily body, Buddhist practice of the way: Read the Qingming, always conscious, said all this truth. )

Loneliness • A group of people

There is a singing way: "Lively, is a group of people's loneliness." "Sometimes we have to learn to enjoy loneliness, to be moderately detached from groups, to learn to get along with ourselves. Loneliness is valuable, in such a time and space without being disturbed, it is a great "freedom" to arrange the time exactly according to one's own wishes. In a very limited free time of day and space, if you can do "self-discipline", planning, moderation, self-motivation, you can bring "efficiency", achievement of those other people do not do things, also achieved yourself.

It is loneliness this makes you different, not gregariousness.

It is loneliness that makes you outstanding, not gregarious.

Whenever those who are talented and make a difference, they will enjoy and use the lonely people, they return to the heart when they are lonely, learn to ascend, accumulate energy, in order to bloom completely when they are not alone. Anyone who is afraid of being alone, looking for a presence in the table, at the table, in the wine-bar, will drown in the crowd. Work, life, practice, all the same.

It's loneliness that makes you outstanding.