Laugh and joke set

1. FEMALE: Anyone who has money can marry me. M: Are you married to the bank safe? 2. In a quarrel, the difference between men and women is like the difference between a pistol and a machine gun. 3. My wife wants to lose weight, so she goes riding a horse every day. As a result, the horse loses 40 kg in a month. 4. Patient: Doctor, you have left scissors in my stomach. It doesn't matter. I have another one. 5.

1. FEMALE: Anyone who has money can marry me. M: Are you married to the bank safe? 2. In a quarrel, the difference between men and women is like the difference between a pistol and a machine gun. 3. My wife wants to lose weight, so she goes riding a horse every day. As a result, the horse loses 40 kg in a month. 4. Patient: Doctor, you have left scissors in my stomach. It doesn't matter. I have another one. 5.

1. FEMALE: "Anyone who has money can marry me ." Male: "Are you married to the bank safe ?"
2. In a quarrel, the difference between men and women is like the difference between a pistol and a machine gun.
3. My wife wants to lose weight, so she goes riding a horse every day. As a result, the horse loses 40 kg in a month.
4. Patient: "Doctor, you have left scissors in my stomach ." "It doesn't matter. I still have one ."
5. JUDGE: Why are you printing counterfeit money? The defendant said innocently: Because I won't print real money.
6. Wife: "Men are timid ." Husband: "No, otherwise I will marry you ."
7. Uplink: Haha, haha, downlink:. Horizontal approval: Neurology
　
8. First Year: He said, she listens. The second year: She said, he listened. The third year: They said, listen to the neighbors.
9. If the cold world we live in is still difficult to change, at least I still have the power to resolve the ice and snow.
10. Thief A: "How much is it today ?" Thief B: "No, I will see the newspaper tomorrow ."
11. Teacher: "Peter, do you know how many years a mouse can live ?" PETER: "It depends on the cat's mind ."
12. Kangaroo said to the dog, "I can put my cell phone in my bag, but you can only put your cell phone on your ass !"
13. Pig Bajie: I changed my name to Sai pan'an. many beautiful women are waiting for me! Sun Wukong: No, it's not your Internet connection, nerd.
14. My daughter asked her mother, "was my father shy before ?" "If he is not shy, you are at least a senior !"
15. FATHER: You are so big that you should find a wife. Son: Yes, but there is a sea of people. Who is my wife?
16. FEMALE: "How do you chew sugar when talking to me ?" Male: "Where are so many sweet words without chewing sugar ?"
17. Female A: "Does your fiancé know your age ?" Female: "Yes, he knows a part ."
18. "I treat her as an Arctic !" "How ?" "She is as cold as ice and as attractive as a magnet ."
19. Hard to implement
　　
　　
　　
Ma Haha drove his family along the country path. Suddenly, he found a frog crossing the road. Ma hahaha quickly stopped the car and walked down and put the frog on the side of the road. The frog thanked Ma Haha and promised to fulfill his wish. Then Ma Haha said to the frog:
"The next week we will hold the" Dog election Competition ". I want my dog to be the first ." The frog asked to have a look at the dog. Then he took the dog out of the car. The frog saw that the dog was stupid, fat, and had only three legs.
"I am afraid this wish is hard to achieve. Please change your wish to another one !" The frog said awkwardly.
"Well, let's get my wife the first in the next beauty contest !" Ma Haha asked.
The frog asked Ma hahaha's wife to come out of the car and said, "Can I see the dog again ?"
20. This ugly girl
　　
There was a woman who was so ugly that a man had to hide from him after seeing her. The greatest wish of a woman is to let the traffickers kidnap and then ...... As a result, when the night falls, she lingers on a small village road, waiting for that moment to come.
Hard work: late at night, she was finally kidnapped and put into the car by a hacker. The hacker came to see the hacker with his own "Victory fruit" and was ready to appreciate the rewards. However, when the hacker sees the girl's appearance, he can't help but scold the hacker for not looking at it, and ordered him to immediately let the girl out of the car. The hacker told the girl to get off the bus according to the command of the boss, but the woman didn't get off the bus at all. For a long time, the kidnappers used various means such as coercion, intimidation, and beating to get the girl out of the bus. However, the woman never gave in, but she never got off the bus. The hacker said, "Forget it! No car !"
21. Unfair
　　
A priest and a bus driver died at the same time, but the bus driver went to Heaven, but the priest went to hell. The priest spent his life in the church but went to hell.
So I complained to God. PRIEST: "Lord! I have contributed to the church all my life and pray with your believers every day. Why am I not as good as a bus driver? What about hell ??" God: "Yes! That's why you went to hell. You pray and speak with believers every day, but they all go to bed! But the bus driver hits the street every day, and his passengers pray! "
22. Poison
　　
When the customer just got out of the pharmacy, the pharmacy guy rushed to catch up.
Dude: Sorry, what you want is tonic. I gave you the poison by mistake.
Customer: Look at you, it's a little bad.
Dude: No. The boss will definitely scold me when I know it. The poison is twice as expensive as the supplementary medicine.
23. Avoid asking questions
　　
A well-known Chinese professor of botany and his ta are studying new varieties of plants.
One day, the TA asked the professor, "what if you have an internship in the wild and encounter plants you don't know? "
The professor replied, "I usually walk at the very beginning and step on plants I don't know to avoid Students Asking questions. "
24. Activity Director
　　
A worker asked the director's Secretary:
"How is the director always sitting in the front row ?"
"Lead the masses ."
"Why is he sitting in the middle when watching a movie ?"
"Go deep into the masses ."
"Come to the guests, why is there always our director on the dining table ?"
"Representing the masses ."
"But he is sitting in the office every day ......"
"Stupid, believe in the masses !"
25. Assassin
The two gangsters were waiting for someone, but they were always missing. One of them worried, and he said, "How is it done? I hope he will not be surprised !"
26. A tooth
John: "Your father looks like a ghost. You see, he is a shoemaker and you are still wearing such broken shoes ."
Tom: "What about your father? He is a famous dental doctor, but your younger brother has only one tooth !"
27. Conscience
One day, a poet and a friend drink together. They asked for a dish and four sparrows. His friend even eats three in one breath. When he is about to eat the last one, the poet is busy saying, "Should I eat this one ?" My friend sighed and said, "I wanted to give it to you, but I really cannot bear to break them up. Let them be together ." Then he eats the last one.
28. The most classic, beautiful, and warm wishes in history!
This is a blessing from an Angel N + 10 thousand years ago:
The content is: after reading this post
Girls will always be young and beautiful
Boys will always be energetic
Student Union score Improvement
Office workers will enjoy work
A married person has a happy family.
Unmarried people will fall in love early
The patient will recover soon
The elderly will be healthy
In short, everyone will be happy together, and good people will be safe in their life !!!

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