Look at "Enemies" from another angle"

In interpersonal relationships, there is a kind of "Nut-shaped" people, while sighing and suffering, the truth is hard to find, while they are more stingy than anyone else, wrapped themselves firmly in the shell with a thorn, to combat the damage and attack. Such people are often very pitiful, because the world is dangerous everywhere for them. Everyone is an enemy, and there is no happiness in social activities. However, if they look at it from another angle, they will surely find that many "attacks" are not hostile, but that others are sending them some messages and expressing some kind of needs --

Scene 1: Out of defense

At the opening of the company meeting on Monday morning, the supervisor asked everyone to express their opinions on a proposal. If you want to express a different opinion objectively, you will not be able to finish your speech, I heard the speaker say, "I don't think this discussion should be attended by anyone. Some people want to pretend to be experts in a few days!" You are so angry that you can't figure out why you are talking about it, but she wants to attack you like this.

Comments: each of us may have encountered something similar to "cannot figure it out": Clearly we don't want to compete with others, but some people have to stand on the opposite side of us, there was a chance that we could not be confused ". At this time, we often think that they are strong and rude, so they either fight back with their teeth, or they can't establish a simple and normal relationship with them. However, if we have the opportunity to have a deep understanding, we will find that, in fact, they have a more fragile mind than others under their strong appearance.

Let's change the word to think about it: it's not an attack, it's a defense. In fact, they are fragile and sensitive. They don't really want to attack or hurt anyone, but they are more afraid of injury than we do, therefore, we can use "attacks" to defend ourselves against threats. Therefore, the best way to ease relationships with them is not to fight back or avoid it, but to understand and tolerate it. Think about how it can help us better access our fragile minds?

Scenario 2 quarrel and blame the weak Psychology

Before going abroad, I will entrust my cousin in high school to look after you. You are afraid that your cousin will be in trouble, so you wish to tie her to your own side with a rope. However, not only does my cousin not thank you, but she has been clamoring with you for three days, accusing you of attacking you as an "Eight-in-law" and "taking chicken feathers as an arrow ". You have been hurt by her ......

Comments: in interpersonal relationships, relatively weak people have an instinctive reverse mentality: If you want me to go east, I will go west. However, the overall situation is always in the hands of those in authority. However, a Q-style balance can be achieved only by constantly attacking and denying those in authority.

Think about it by another word: It's not "attack", it's "resistance"-it's not that others really hate us and want to hurt our hearts, but some of our practices make others feel depressed and puzzled, therefore, we can resist the attack through accusations. In more cases, we may even be a scapegoat and an outbox. The attacks that point to us actually belong to us. In this case, why don't you try to understand why the other party is resisting and what exactly does it want to resist?

Scene 3: people are not easy to express

Your old partner is kind, diligent, and has nothing to do with, but I don't know why. It's just that every day it doesn't mean it's bad. It's just like the whole world is sorry for him. You are worried that you will become a "Grievance", but you do not know how to stop the attack.

Comments: it is not uncommon for people like this in life, because many families make such "Special Products" from generation to generation, starting from their fathers, the family gets used to attacks as the only way to communicate with each other. Unfortunately, those who inherit this "Heritage" will not realize that there are other better ways to choose unless otherwise specified.

Think about it by another word: It's not "attack", it's "expression"-if the poor person or she only learns the expression "attack", then, let's try to teach them how to better express themselves-if he attacks a bus driver, he just wants to express dissatisfaction with the traffic conditions. And so on, we will be their most grateful person!

This article is reproduced from "Left Bank read_blog !』

Http://dhlmtzx.edudh.net/oblog/

For more highlights, visit read_blog on the Left Bank!