Mother's words and deeds affect children's life

One day, a friend who is a university teacher talked to me about his third-grade child in elementary school. both husband and wife are doctors, and his wife is still a "Turtle ", but his son's score is the last in the class. He asked me why, I said, your wife is too competent. He thought it was a joke. He thought that I was referring to his wife's busy career and said, "No, my wife spent less than five minutes writing homework with him every day, yell at your child, "Why are you so stupid! ". I said, you see, the problem is here. Your son's mother is too smart. How can he be smarter than his mother when he is so small?
　　
I wonder whether you have paid attention to how many celebrity biographies describe your mother: The mother is gentle, virtuous, and considerate. She has always quietly given her gifts to her children without complaints. The mother is strong, kind, and insightful, there seems to be nothing to beat her mother ...... Are these words familiar? That is why a mother can cultivate such outstanding children. Because children are instinctively dependent on their mothers when they are young, their personality, language, and behavior will affect their life.
　　
How can we make the child's character habits not develop in the opposite direction of the mother's character and inherit the advantages of the mother? The best way is that the mother must converge her own strength in front of the child to become a real mother. The mother does not have to look at the child in front of the child, not in front of the negotiating table. She does not need to look at the child with criticism, picky, or perfect requirements, mother's aggressive attitude, harsh language, control of all behavior and self-righteous judgment, the harm to children's self-esteem and self-confidence is far greater than exam-oriented education. For a child, from the moment of his birth, the child's requirements for the role of the mother are almost unchanged.

1. Before entering the house, the mother must remind herself that she has forgotten the unpleasant things in all her organizations and is now responsible for her mother's role. A child needs a happy Mother. Never pass off bad emotions unrelated to the child because the child is innocent.
　　
2. When the child is eager to tell his mother that he has a star or red flower at school today, do not show bored or disdain. He must be praised as happy as his son. The most appropriate way is to ask your mom to see it and share it with him, because this honor is very important for the child.
　　
3. When the child asks his mother, "How to read this word", and so on, she 'd better not answer him immediately, the worst answer is "how do you not even know this word ". I 'd better look at it and say, oh, I don't know either. Let's look up the dictionary together, OK? After several times, my mother taught the children to use the dictionary. At the same time, the children will have a sense of accomplishment after checking the dictionary. After many times, they will develop the habit of checking the information without relying on their mother's habits.
　　
4. When a child asks her questions, she must not be as smart and competent as she is in her organization. It is a good way to pretend to be "ignorant" and encourage her to use her brains, think about this problem by your own strength, or check books with your children or use the Internet. Mom cannot tell all the answers like "Bamboo beans" and say that she is still self-satisfied. This is not good for the child's growth. After a few times, the child will avoid asking her questions and become very inferior.
　　
5. When the child tells her that the exam is not good today, she must restrain her emotions and never get angry or look gloomy. The child is nervously observing her face. Therefore, it is best for a mother to show no changes in her mood. Let the child take out the paper and analyze the error with the child. If the child understands where the error is, the mother does not have to get involved. But finally, we should encourage him: You see, you understand that the next exam won't be wrong. If the mother feels she cannot control her emotions, she needs to wash her face in the bathroom, take a look in the mirror, and take a few deep breaths.
　　
6. When a child shows timidity before or before the exam or before doing anything important, the mother should never disagree or reprimand him for being timid or being more nervous than him, this will increase the psychological pressure of the child and lead to the failure of the child to play normally. At this time, I 'd better say to my child very easily, no matter what you do, mom and dad are not as good as you when you are so big. Don't worry. At this time, the child will be very confident and confident, he will play better than usual.
　　
7. If the child needs to participate in important activities the next day, when the mother observes that the child is nervous, she 'd better stay asleep at the child's bedside that night, tell him a story before going to bed or read his favorite books with him to relieve his mental stress until the child leaves after falling asleep.
　　
8. When a child suffers a failure or setback, the mother must be strong and never give up. calmly telling the child to fail only means a moment, not a lifetime failure. Don't give up when the child does not think she wants to give up. The worst thing is to use mean words to dig for him, and even calculate the old accounts together. Children in such a mother's education will feel extremely inferior and even give up on their own bright future.
　　
9. When a mother doesn't express what the child has not said clearly, she thinks she is the first to express her opinion. no matter whether the child is willing or not, she uses "you must ......" , "You should ......" In the tone of command to the child, to represent the child's point of view, and ask the child to execute. Mom cannot be synonymous with "authoritarian. In this case, children who grow up lack the opinion and the ability to judge non-judgment. Mothers and children should establish an equal relationship (equality is not without principle) and know how to respect each other.
　　
10. Mom needs to control the way she speaks in front of her children. Mothers are the most familiar children in the world. Therefore, mothers are the most clear about where their children's weaknesses are. If they often direct their fingers to their weaknesses when speaking, they may be ironic, criticized, or blackmailed, or, knowing that the child cannot do it and deliberately asking the child to do it is undoubtedly using the most acute weapon to continuously stab the child's pain points. The child's heart is very hurt, because the injury comes from the person closest to him.
　　
11. Mom needs to control the number of languages in front of her children. Don't be nagging. In fact, what scares the child most is the silence of the mother, it is better to use a short language to tell the child where his mistake was or what he should pay attention to. Next, the mother's silence will certainly be more useful than continuing to speak, so don't think the child doesn't understand, although he seems indifferent, he is actually observing whether his mother takes things seriously.
　　
12. In short, a mother is a mother at home, not a professional woman. She should take care of her children's daily life, pay attention to the ups and downs of her child's heart, and care about her every action, take care of the child's childish emotions and cultivate the child's character. If you want your child to surpass yourself in the future, then the competent mother must be "ignorant" and "stupid" in front of the child, the performance is "dull" and "gentle". In this way, the child will feel a sense of accomplishment that he is "Knowledgeable", "smart", and "agile" than his mother ", he thinks that he exceeded his mother every day until one day, he really exceeded his mother.