Never Laugh, never laugh! I did not mean to make you laugh ~

Guiding language:Downstairs opposite, at in the evening, a girl was screaming, crying, hitting the door and asking her to open the door. She did not dare to go to bed alone. She was going to sleep with her father. What about the dead old bean? The child has been crying and crying ...... Cry ...... Half an hour passed ...... He shouted in despair: "dad opens the door! Opened the door! I want to go to bed ......"

 

1. This morning, I received an application form, which reads: "teacher, my class XX student is ineffective because of medical treatment at the school hospital ......", My mind was so loud that people were still living a few days ago. How can I do it now ...... I burst into tears, cried, and picked up the paper, suddenly said: "So today I went to the city to continue treatment, hope the teacher is on vacation !"

 

2. When I was in junior high school, I went to school last night. A boy at the front desk suddenly turned and said to me, "I will definitely come back to marry you after 10 ." As soon as I heard it, my face turned red and I had a good time with him, but I didn't expect him to say that. Then he went on to say, "Come back and take your dog's life. Haha ......"

 

3. Just a few days ago, a young colleague asked for a bottle of big Sprite and poured it around for everyone. It was his turn to empty the bottle. So the colleague waved the Sprite bottle and said to the waiter, "Is there anything else ?" The waiter ran and checked the bottle carefully. He said with a sincere face, "no ."

 

4. When I was in junior high school, there was a male girl in the class. When I was studying, someone laughed at his mother. He couldn't help it. He stood up at the desk and shouted to the man, "you want to talk about me again. Be careful when I turn your face over to you !"

 

5. A friend went to the home appliance market and saw a household weight scale on the ground. He was so fat that he wanted to try it when he saw the scale. So I immediately stepped on and said, "Hey," afterwards, it proved that it was an Induction Cooker.

 

 

6. I had dinner with two enthusiastic female colleagues (fengmanxing) in the company. They introduced me to me. I want to say: You two Matchmakers are really enthusiastic ......

 

7. Yesterday I had a drink with my dad and another guy who had a three-time tour. The rise of the chat between Dad and his buddies suddenly found that there was no smoke. Then he turned his head and said to me, "Brother, buy a box of cigarettes for Dad ."

 

8. when I went home for dinner at night, I was scolded by my mom. I am also a 23-year-old white-collar. I couldn't help myself, so I wrote a few words, who knows she jumped up and shouted, "Speak up again! Stick your mouth up and put you back !"

 

9. I went to the anti-hongdi loose with my friends and found a child lying down on the side of the road in a dark place. I asked him: What happened to you, kid? He didn't answer the question and kept his head down. I thought he was crying. Then I asked: What happened to you, kid? Then he slowly raised his head and said, "I'm pulling my stool ......

 

10. Today, we are dead, old and old, and all our family members are crying sadly. Suddenly, a cell phone rang, and the sound of the cottage was loud ...... Today is a good day. Everything you want can be done. Tomorrow is a good day. When we open the door, we welcome the spring breeze ......

 

11. I put a fart on the bus. I waved my hand and lost my face. The lady next to me turned his head and said, "You don't need to install it.

 

12. My wife and I went to sleep Buddha Temple, and my wife couldn't walk on the road, so I carried her back. An old mother-in-law saw it and said seriously: You have read books. If my wife is ill or goes to the hospital early, it is useless to worship Buddha.

 

13. When a younger brother takes a bus, a pretty girl always looks at him. The younger brother thought: the girl may be interesting to herself, and she cannot help but feel very excited. Girl gets off at the station. The younger brother immediately followed. The girl walked in front and looked back from time to time. The younger brother took the courage to come forward and talked humorously: "Miss, why do you always look at me? Is there a grain on my face ?" The girl glared at him and said, "Are you ill? I know it is not erased yet ."

 

14. the dormitory is on the 6th floor. When I climbed up, I found that the key was not taken. I went downstairs and asked my aunt to take it. Then I climbed up and opened the door. When I got down, I found that the door was closed and a classmate next door passed, ask, "check whether your door is closed. I will close it for you."

 

15. Name the instructor in the class: "Liu Hua !" As a result, a child shouted back to "Yeah !" The teacher was angry: "Why not say" '?" The child said, "the word" ye '......"

 

16. One day in the middle of the physical education class, the bathroom solves personal problems. As a result, he entered the men's restroom by mistake. When I saw a boy in the pool, I was blinded. After a second, I was about to quietly retreat. The result was found to be dizzy. The boy shouted "rogue, indecent" and then put his hands on his chest. Later, I said something that I thought was incredible. "Sorry, you have made a mistake ......"

 

17. Personal information will be required for a friend. I am so silly and naive to reverse my career and Zodiac. This is not a problem! But my Chinese zodiac is a chicken ......

 

18. my husband set off. In the evening, he and his three-year-old daughter went to the house to hide and hide. After hiding in the curtains, I saw my daughter lying in front of the sofa and said to the dark sofa, "Come on, aunt, I saw you ......

 

19. I have a friend who once went to the dining room of a university and hesitated about what to eat with a lunch box. I read the following words in my mouth: Are you going to eat chicken or fish? The big mom in the canteen urged him to pick it up quickly. If he shouted at his head, he would eat "chicken! Aunt In the canteen paused for three seconds and gave him a sausage.

 

20. In general, there is an earlier morning self-study in front of the morning self-study in high school. Everyone is getting up in the middle of the night and going to the classroom after washing in the middle of the night. The class teacher was waiting at the door of the classroom. She looked at one student after another with her red and autumn trousers around her neck. That self-study is awkward ......

 

21. I once met a primary school teacher I hadn't seen for many years. I was very excited and felt very kind and didn't know how to think about it. I ran up and touched the teacher's head excitedly, the teacher was stunned at the time, and I did, and then I said... You have grown so long! At that time, the sweat all wanted to die quickly.

 

22. For New Year's meals, there are several tables with names, and others can sit at will. Then I heard a girl say, "You sit in front of you, that's your card ." I collapsed.

 

23. There are two fruit stalls at the school gate. A girl buys bananas at a stall and keeps pinching bananas with her hands. It is estimated that she is not familiar with them. Then the vendor at booth B said, "You can buy bananas from my side.

 

24. In high school, I went to school last night. The class was very loud. I saw the teacher on duty rush in. There was a girl in the front row of my fingers. bh felt: Close your mouth (B) to me! Well, the world is quiet ......

 

25. I went back to the dormitory yesterday and found my roommates washing my sheets. I asked him, "Why is it so diligent today ?" The roommate replied: "My girlfriend is coming over at night. The ticket is too dirty. If I don't wash my girlfriend, I want to get pregnant ."

 

26. The company has a new male colleague. I think it's an honest man. When I introduced myself, I was very nervous! The male colleagues introduced themselves: "Big ~ Large ~ Hello everyone, me ~ My name is "Hung ." The voice has just fallen, and the whole company is smiling!

27. One of my colleagues gave birth to a pair of twins! Once she took the twins out to play and happened to meet a good friend and brought the children out to play. As a result, her friend's child asked, "mom, which of them is true ?" (Later, her mother explained that his son was watching travel to the West recently.)
28. My buddy had never seen a girlfriend for a long time. He couldn't help it. He secretly went to his school to find her at night. The two men were hungry and impatient, and they ran to the school's grove to fight. When the battle was about to go, they were captured by the school's patrol guard! The security guard shouted at them and said three words, making them laugh and cry for a while! Only listen to the uncle Security shouted: "pull out !"
29. during the evening, I learned to ride a bicycle on the road. I saw a long-hearted female walking in front of a bicycle (which seems like a broken bicycle) while making a phone call. At this moment, I was in a hurry, braked, got off the bus, put off the rear wheel, and moved in one breath. I thought I finally had a chance to get along with her. Just as I pushed the car and ran, I saw her accept her cell phone and step on the car. Sorry, I walked for more than an hour in the cold wind.

 

30. In order to attract business, the Fire Pot city wrote the following sentence on the billboard: "self-help hot pot, every 30 yuan, 1 meter tall children free of charge ." The kindergarten aunt was very excited. She took 30 yuan and led 50 children in the class to the hot pot city.

 

Prepared remarks:North Korea: Brother, I want to play South Korea! China: [automatic reply] Well! North Korea: Hey, you want to help me now! China: [automatic reply] Well! North Korea: Brother, I went there! China: [automatic reply] Well !...... China: I rely on it. I went to the bathroom just now. What did you say? Are you crazy? North Korea: [automatic reply] Hello, I am not here. I will contact you later.