[Original] messy

The summer in Xi'an is very hot. Even at the end of May, when there was no curtain call in spring, the temperature began to climb to an incredible height until the beginning of June, and the maximum temperature reached 40 degrees. My local student in Xi'an told me that this was just the beginning. I just mentioned spring. In fact, I am not sure if there is spring in Xi'an, because I was impressed that I took off my sweater and soon I put on short sleeves. My short-sleeved clothes are much more than long-sleeved clothes. Although summer generally only takes 1/4 of the year, we usually have to wear long-sleeved clothes in most cases. At the same time, I am a very lazy person. Except for a pair of seven pants or horse pants that my mother sent me a month ago, I have almost no other shorter pants to wear, so when I had to stay in the laundry room, I had to wear a thick, worn pair of jeans from the winter four years ago. I have a deep feeling for that pair of jeans. In addition to the natural feelings of getting along for four years, it also carries historical relics that can make me feel sentimental suddenly. They include oil stains that cannot be washed away, small holes in the right thigh, broken bottom, traces of long-term friction produced by erasers, and so on. Each relic is associated with one of my stories, one sentiment, and one era. There is always a buddy in the dormitory who shakes his head after reading my article. It looks very deep, sophisticated, and experienced and tells me that this article is very pretentious, I believe he will do this again when he sees it. I will certainly tell him again that this is definitely not an example. Even in the age of socialist market economy so vigorous development, I also indirectly and passively carry forward the hard and simple spirit of wearing a pair of jeans for four years. It is enough to witness a person's micro-sense of the times. That year, when I graduated from the first or third year, this pair of trousers was obviously longer than the distance from my waist to my foot pad. At that time, I was celebrated and admitted to the key high school. I sat in front of my computer all day and played the movie chain-Porsche tour with a screen with a 60Hz update rate. (It turns out that the 60Hz update rate is definitely the eye killer, i'm not talking about LCD monitors). I ran in slippers, and my pants and legs were worn and worn on the ground. Even now, this leg is still very long. If I don't wear a belt, it will continue to Moaning under my feet, and it is very common for me not to wear a belt, this usually happens when I decide to give up my daily course. Class skipping. What an attractive word. If you are in high school and want to live in college, I cannot tell you whether it is right or wrong. I believe most college students will do this. This may free you from busy classes, but it is hard for you to experience a full life here, it is hard for you to find a close table, classmates, and friends like in high school. When you get up, there is no one in the dormitory, so you are lost. You carry your schoolbag and sit down in a classroom. Everyone is reading with anger, so you are bored. You sat in the last place you sat in this class before a class, but you could never meet the girl sitting on your right hand last time in this class, so you looked at the platform with an incredible amount of money. I bet you didn't understand anything. You are more worried about your final exam score than in high school. After you get the transcript, you silently calculate the number of credits you still need and you have to give a gift home. You may lie to yourself in the diary or something and say that you have experienced the warmth of the collective. However, compared with high school, this is only an ice cellar. You may have had a tough fight with high school students. You have been bullied by the gangsters sitting in the last row for more than three years. Once, you have been rejected by your favorite girl, however, you can never forget to share a pair of earplugs with your classmates who are sitting in your back and studying at night, walking in the street after the rain night, singing songs and listening to each other's tears. I can't forget them. Especially in the dark afternoon after the rain. The day starts to get cooler, even if the temperature is still thirty degrees upward. If you have experienced something nice or painful in a slightly unusual environment, but it must be worth remembering, when this environment is reproduced, you will remember it very clearly, especially what it once gave you. After rain. Cool. Dim afternoon. At that time, I sat on the floor, and the CD with a bloody red cover went crazy in the CD player I set up with my own optical drive, power supply, and source speaker. I closed the door and screwed the blinds, there is almost no extra ambient light in a compact house. The green lights on the optical drive flash, stimulating the pupil. For dozens of hours, my only action was to press the play button after the CD was completed and let it go again. I repeat it once until I fell asleep or lost in a coma. It was my most challenging time. I almost never talked to anyone. I thought about some unrealistic things every day and tried to make them a reality. I write a novel that tries to convey my feelings, express an extremely depressing mood, and indulge myself in this experience. When I was in my first year of high school, I had a first love that lasted almost less than two days. Of course, I remember the ecstasy, excitement, and feeling that I can no longer come back now or in the future, I also believe that you can understand the experience of falling down from a very high position. At that time, I was taken to an abyss. Even though I was still very optimistic and positive, it seemed that I was enjoying three meals each day. Since then, I have almost really shown a great music style in appearance, which makes people around me feel happy and happy because of me, at the same time, my demons secretly do the opposite. I was trying to save myself, so I chased a girl for at least two years, even though I have learned from different ways that I am doing something that is impossible for countless times, I am still in progress until an image is turned into God in my heart, it has become so foul that it cannot be contaminated. I have polished all my sharp feelings over the past two years. Even if I encounter something that should make me ecstatic, I will not feel any joy. I just told myself in my heart that, you should be very excited and excited, and then show it in my body. I really feel that I am driving a physically separated body. There is no natural connection between them, and the process of communication is clearly understood by me. As a result, I no longer have great joys and sorrows. I feel indifferent to everything. So whenever someone praises me and says that he envy me, I will pretend to be modest and grateful to him, and then curse him in my heart.
Actually, I don't want. I want to be excited and excited after learning that I have been admitted. I want to be so excited that I can't sleep for many days. Even if it is accompanied by a loss of ten yuan, it will be difficult to eat for a few days after failure. I want to have all the feelings that a normal person has, instead of living in this awkward state, it looks very mature. I think I have lost something.