Programmer joke (repost)

Source: Internet
Author: User
Tags what inheritance

1. Interview
Interviewer: Which language is familiar?
Applicant: C #
Interviewer: Do you know what a class is?
Candidate: I am really a hard-working person and don't know what it means.
Interviewer: Do you know what a pack is?
Applicant: I am a real person. I usually don't have a bag or prepare for it.
Interviewer: Do you know what interfaces are?
Candidate: I am a serious employee and never make excuses to be lazy.
Interviewer: Do you know what inheritance is?
Applicant: I am an orphan and have nothing to inherit.
Interviewer: Do you know what an object is?
Applicant: Yes, but I am very motivated and have no plans to find a target.
Interviewer: Do you know polymorphism?
Candidate: Yes, I am very conservative. I think it is immoral to let a beloved woman have an abortion for her own pleasure! What does this have to do with C?

2. Bicycles
A programmer rode a very beautiful bicycle to the company, and another programmer saw him and asked, "Where did you get such a beautiful car ?" The programmer who rode the bicycle said, "I just came over from there. A pretty girl rode in this car and parked in front of me. She took off all her clothes and said to me, 'You can do everything you want '". Another programmer immediately said, "You have definitely made the right choice, because you may not have worn the girl's clothes ".

3. Warning
A young man smoked a cigarette at the door of an office building. A woman passed by and said to him, "Do you know this is harmful to your health? I mean, have you noticed the warning on the cigarette holder )?" The young man said, "It's okay. I am a programmer ". The woman said, "What is this ?" The programmer said, "We never care about warning, but about error"

4. Train
A young programmer and a project manager boarded a train in the mountains. They found that almost all the trains were filled with only two vacant seats, opposite the vacant room was a grandmother and a young and beautiful girl. The two sat down. Programmers and the girl look at each other in an ambiguous manner. At this time, the train entered the cave, and the carriage was dark. At this time, I heard only one kiss, and then I heard a loud slap. Soon the train went out of the cave and none of them spoke. The grandmother muttered, "Why is this young guy so rude? But I'm glad my granddaughter slapped me ". The project manager was thinking, "I didn't expect this programmer to be so bold and dare to kiss the girl. Unfortunately, the girl typed a wrong person and beat me ."
The pretty girl thought, "It's nice that he kissed me. I hope my grandmother didn't hurt him ". The programmer sat there with a smile. "Life is wonderful. I have several chances in my life to slap the project manager while kissing a pretty girl"

5. After the programmer retires
After a programmer retired, he decided to practice his calligraphy, so he paid a lot of money to buy four treasures of wenfang. One day, after dinner, suddenly Yaxing, some research ink paper, and a good sandalwood. Just for a moment, I wrote a line solemnly: Hello world!

6. A miserable life for programmers in Shenyang
1) programmers can actually suffer... a change in demand will take over a month ~ The first quarter is over when demand changes ~
2) What is the most painful thing for programmers? Do you know? That is, the program has not been completed, and the demand has been changed;
3) What is the most painful thing for programmers? Do you know? That is, the system is not easy to complete, and the solution is completely changed;
4) What is the most painful thing for programmers? Do you know? That is, the system is finished, and the dog day's customers are running;
5) What is the most painful thing for programmers? Do you know? That is, the dog day customer is back and the program is deleted!

7. buy eggs
A woman asked her programmer's husband to go to the store to buy something: You went to the nearby store to buy some bread. If you had eggs, you bought six and the husband bought six breads, his wife was surprised: Why did you buy 6 breads ?! The programmer's husband replied: They have eggs.

8. "Who ?" After a long time ...... "Java"

9. How can I use object-oriented methods to become richer? Inheritance.

10. How many programmers do I need to change a light bulb? No. This is a hardware problem.

11. 1 million monkeys gave them 1 million keyboards, one of which would write a Java program and the other would write a Perl program.

12. Ten top software engineers attend management training courses. The teacher raised the following question: "If the company you work for provides software for aviation electronic equipment. One day you were on a business trip by plane. When you got on the plane, you found a sign that the plane was using beta software developed by your team. Will you get off the plane ?"
Nine Software Engineers held hands. The teacher looked at the tenth question and asked, "Why are you willing to stay on the plane ?" The person replied, "If this software was written by my team, the plane would not be able to take off, and it would not have crashed ."

13. Why are programmers confused about Halloween and Christmas? Because Oct 31 = Dec 25.

14. How many Microsoft programmers do I need to change a light bulb? No, they will turn the darkness into a standard and then tell everyone: "This is what we designed ."

15. Keyboard not found... Press F1 to continue

16. UNIX is user-friendly, but it is difficult to become a Unix user.

17. This joke was probably from miguo in 1970s: A newbie was trying to fix a bad lisp machine. His approach was to turn off the power repeatedly and turn it on. After seeing this, the Experts severely criticized and said, "You are useless. You must understand the deep-seated causes of errors ."
Experts turn off the power and turn it on. Running properly.

18. What kind of contraception does computer scientists rely on? Their personality charm.

19. A Microsoft engineer was walking on the road and suddenly heard a frog say, "If you kiss me, I will become a beautiful woman. We can get married and live happily together." The engineer looked at the frog and thought about it. He grabbed it and gently put it in his coat pocket. The frog put out his head and said, "Why don't you want to kiss me ?" "Yes," said the engineer. "I work at Microsoft and have no time to marry a wife-but a talking frog is cool ."

20. How many c ++ programmers do I need to change a light bulb? You are still using process-oriented thinking. A well-designed bulb will inevitably encapsulate a method for changing the bulb, so what you need to do is call the "change the bulb" method.

21. Two programmers are chatting: "I met a hot girl yesterday. I took her home and immediately started to kiss with hunger. She sat down on my keyboard and then ......" "Do you have a computer at home? What is the CPU model ?"

22. Why do programmers like UNIX: unzip, strip, touch, finger, grep, mount, fsck, more, yes, fsck, umount, sleep?

23. Computers are high-speed dummies, while programmers are low-speed dummies.

24. An array that stores half of the data: Pessimistic Programmers think that the array is half empty. Optimistic Programmers think that the array is half full. Real Programmers? If the array occupies too much space, you need to call realloc ().

25. The compilation is successful! Deliver

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