Quant jokes.

2. Q) Why is the FX quant so unlucky with the ladies?
   A) Because He kept his dates short.
4. Q) Why does quants always has the best gardens?
   A) Because They spend time so much time working on their trees and hedging!
6. Q) Why is quants so lucky?
   A) Because They get to work with models all day.
8. Q) Why does quants never get ripped off in Bangkok?
   A) Because They is experts in pricing exotics.
10. Q) Why does one quant say hush to the other?
    A) Because He was working on the library!
12. Q) Why is quants always happy?
    A) Because They is always working on their smiles.
14. Q) who is a quant ' s favourite actor?
    A) Heston
16. Q) Why is the quant willing to sell his own mother?
    A) Because He figured out relative value!
18. A quant goes to a bookstore to buy a book. The service person says, "Can I help you?"
    The quant says "My life as a quant".
    The service person, misunderstanding him, says, "My wife is a cunt too! I know exactly how do you feel! Can I help you find a book? "
20. Q) What ' s the difference between quants and F1 racers?
    A) Quants run Monte Carlo, F1 racers run through Monte Carlo.
22. Q) How does the Quant wreck his yacht
    A) He-ran aground on Black-scholes.
24. Q) What is the evolutionary ancestors of quants?
    A) Apes living in binomial trees.
26. Q) Why does quants avoid ocean waves at the beach?
    A) Because They don ' t like oscillating boundary conditions.
28. Q) What's cruel and unusual punishment for a quant?
    A) disintegration by parts.
30. Q) What does credit derivatives and the great Dirac has in common?
    A) The Delta.
32. Q) Why did the black swan painted he feathers white?
    A) so people stop talking on her fat-tails
34. Quants love duration, convexity and jumps.

Solution:

1.dates Short (dating time)

2.trees (binary tree, three-fork tree); hedging (repair fence)

3.models (Beautiful model Oh, good envy!!!) ）

4.exotics (exotic plants, Bangkok but Southeast Asian cities)

5.library (c + + library, such as QuantLib) This is not very sure

6.smiles (wave rate smile)

7.Heston (Heston volatility model, here refers to the famous actor Charlton Heston)

8.relative value (of relative, relative)

9.Quant and cunt, good XE's homophonic

10.Monte Carlo, City of Morocco, famous city of Gamblers

11.Scholes, British place name

12. Not explained

13.oscillating boundary conditions will make derivative pricing difficult to deal with (this is not sure).

14. (Do not understand, ask for explanation)

15.Delta has two meanings, delta hedging and Dirac proposed delta function

16. The "Black Swan Incident" in financial markets and the "fat tail" of statistics

17. Too evil, do not explain, self-yy

Quant's jokes