"Reading Notes"--the path of few people ①: The Journey of Mature Mind

First, self-discipline

The courage to take responsibility, dare to face difficulties, can make the mind become healthy. Self-discipline is the primary tool to solve the problem of life and an important means to eliminate the pain of life.

Four: Postponing satisfaction, taking responsibility, respecting facts, and maintaining balance.

Delaying gratification means not seeking temporary comfort and re-setting the order of happiness and pain in life: first, face the problem and feel the pain, then solve the problem and enjoy greater happiness, which is the only viable way of life. ...... Many people do not give time and experience to solve the problems of knowledge, social and psychological. ...... Just want to get away as soon as possible, shorten their contact with the problem of time, rather than take the time to deal with this uncomfortable feeling, do not want to calmly analyze the problem. Although solving the problem can bring her satisfaction, and she does not want to postpone this satisfaction, even a minute not ... Another problem-solving attitude is more low-level, more destructive, that is, the hope that the problem itself disappears ... Problems usually do not disappear on their own, and if not solved, they will always exist, hindering the maturity of the mind.

Take responsibility: we must face their own problems this is the basic premise to solve the problem, avoid fear, a little benefit also do not, expect others to solve, is not a smart approach, the only way is the courage to bear. ...... Neurosis patients impose responsibility for themselves, the personality disorder people are unwilling to take responsibility ... you can't solve the problem, you will become a problem . ...... The difficulty of taking responsibility for personal behavior is that it brings pain ... To avoid the pain of responsibility, countless people willing to give up power, in fact, is to escape freedom. ...... Choice does not mean no pain, freedom does not mean isolation from pain. ...... Feel that you cannot "deal with" or change the status quo, resulting in fear, helplessness and self-doubt. The root of inadequacy lies in the avoidance of freedom, the ability to take responsibility, and the weakness in giving up their power. As adults, the whole life is full of choices and decision-making opportunities.

Respect the fact: our concept of reality is like a map, the map is accurate, we can determine their position, know where to go, how to get there, the map is flawed, we will lose direction. ...... Meet the doubts and challenges of others to determine whether the map matches the facts ... Sometimes you have to be honest, sometimes to suppress the desire to pour out ideas and feelings. Never tell lies, avoid black lies, do not, do not say white lies, the starting point for the sake of others.

Maintain balance:

"Reading Notes"--the path of few people ①: The Journey of Mature Mind