Reply to a letter from a man out of love

Old Client Note: This is my first letter about emotional recovery. The sender is still a male. because I am not an emotional expert, I am not going to reply. But when I think about it, can I use the knowledge of economics and evolutionary psychology to provide some personal and emotional help? After all, I have made some research on these two aspects. Maybe I can try it. So I simply concealed the name of the sender and pasted a blog for everyone to study.

The following is the content of the email:

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Dear old client:

Please allow me to call your old client. It seems like my eldest brother. I saw you more than a year ago.ArticleUntil today, I know that you write more about economics, stocks, and psychology, but the questions I want to ask today are not very relevant. To put it simply, I am out of love.

Let me briefly introduce myself. I was born in a small city along the southern coast. I went to college in Shanghai and stayed in Shanghai after graduation. I am 26 years old, that is, I have been working for four years. I am also a white-collar professional. My monthly income is not very high. I feel like I am still a little lucky when I get to work for five thousand yuan.

My girlfriend was a colleague from a previous company. Later we all changed jobs, but now it's almost over a year. She's from Shanghai and doesn't look very pretty, but it's pretty, and I'm the same age. At the very beginning, I was attracted by her. Due to work dealings, I gradually began to have some feelings. Sometimes I would leave work together, at the beginning, I loved her very much and felt that it was worthwhile to sacrifice everything for her. I think she should love me too. Later, I spent a lot of time and money on her because I felt that I loved her very much. However, due to changes in work, our meeting time was greatly reduced. Suddenly one day, she told me that there was no such feeling between us, and I didn't know what she meant. Because we didn't feel it, it was hard for us to continue to develop. When I hear her say this, I can't say it. It seems that the world is boring.

Is it silly to write this? However, if you are not in my position, you will not know my distress. For a while, I was bored with everything and thought about her. Later I asked her, and she said it was mainly because she didn't agree with her at home, because I cannot afford a house based on my current income, and my family is not very wealthy. I don't know whether this is her excuse or something, and it may be the reason. However, I think it is still possible for us to buy a small house near the outer ring. Besides, house prices are falling.

I don't know what to say if I write so much. I don't know what advice you can give me. I know that you will definitely say that it is my instinct to love a woman, but the question is, what should I do? I did not go home this Chinese New Year, so I am hiding in Shanghai for a sulking drink. I hope I can see your reply.

Wishing you success

Out of love male

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My reply is as follows:

Loose male, hello:

As far as I know, there are very few men who will write letters to ask for help after falling in love. Fortunately, you are one of those few. I am curious that I am not the so-called "Zhixin big sister". Why did you send this letter to me? In fact, I have no way to solve your problem. The only suggestion is to wait for time to heal you. However, since I know a little about economics and psychology, I plan to give you some suggestions from these two perspectives, hoping to help you.

First of all, I want to point out that the negative psychological status after your fall in love is very normal. Evolutionary Psychology defines pain as a signal that can continuously arouse the attention of the brain, here the "pain" refers not only to the physical, but also to the psychological, the more painful the thing, the more we can take the most attention. Because your out-of-love behaviors objectively prevent you from achieving your own "reproductive achievements", the pain that comes with you can keep you focused on this matter to find a solution to the problem, in fact, this letter is the product of "pain", although I don't think it will help you much.

The second point I want to point out is that you are too young and you are only in your twenties. It is difficult for women to become very interested in you. If you are familiar with Buffett's investment method, you will know that Buffett never buys new shares. According to his words, there are not many past achievements in new shares, therefore, it is difficult to prove that it is a good stock that can continuously bring about a return. Similarly, smart women do not report much hope to men in their twenties, because they have been working for less than a few years and cannot see their potential, it is better for women to find a mature blue-chip in their thirds than to select the dark horse of the future among such men. This is why women are often tempted by mature old men.

Third, I want to tell you that it is unwise for you to spend too much time, energy, and money on women. You should understand that falling in love is a game. Girls aged 25 to six are at the top of their attraction, and you are obviously not. In fact, few game games are carried out in full equality. For example, the game between buyers and developers must be unequal, and the game between Bush and Saddam is also unequal, returning migrant workers and ticket dealers do not play an equal game. In my opinion, the game between you and your ex-girlfriend is not equal. Unfortunately, you put yourself at a disadvantage. Since a man can want a woman to be beautiful, a woman can also want a man to have money. This is a fair trade. If the other person is beautiful, isn't it normal for her to ask a man who can afford a house? The problem is that men of your age generally cannot afford a house. Therefore, this is your problem. You should not place yourself in an unequal position to participate in this game. Sun Tzu said: win first and fight. He means that the situation is good for you and you only participate in the game. If it is not good for you, you should not participate. Therefore, my suggestion is very simple. When you are in your twenties, you should save money, work, invest, and study well. You should not have too many messy ideas ", don't look forward to having Phoenix to help you build your nest. Of course, this kind of person doesn't mean no, it depends on your luck.

The fourth point I want to point out is that evolutionary psychologists have proved for a long time that women seek long-term stable marriage. The first is to improve their social status, and the second is to improve their living standards. Therefore, you should pay attention to how to improve your social status and living standard. This is the right way to improve your attractiveness. If you put all your talents on these two, I believe that with time, your future will not be too bad. Therefore, please give up your fantasies and keep in mind that all women are vanity and snoop. The only difference is that their degree varies. If you want to perform a simple (easy) mode of marriage game, find a social position and living level lower than your partner; if you want to perform a normal mode of marriage game, if you want to have a nightmare marriage game, find a girl in Shanghai, this mode does not support save/load. The upgrade speed is slow and takes a long time. If it fails, the game is directly over. This mode is suitable for expert players who want to accept the challenge, ordinary people even encounter Big Boss issues.

Fifth, the above words seem to be too rational to be accepted, but men should be rational. The so-called rational means that they can correctly make judgments based on the situation, perception means that no matter how the situation is, it is always based on instinct reflection to make judgments. Compared with women, men have a greater advantage. Because a person looks beautiful and ugly, they are naturally determined. Therefore, women are more likely to trust fate arrangements, while men are different, men can rely on their own efforts to get more resources, so men have more "Possibilities. Therefore, you can regard women as bonds and men as stocks. The former pays more attention to security and the latter pays more attention to rate of return.

In order to avoid misunderstanding, I have to put my position into a single form. I am very sorry for your situation, but I do not agree with some of your practices, so I put forward some ideas from the perspectives of economic games and evolutionary psychology. If it is helpful to you, I am very happy. If it is not helpful, let's take power as a joke. In addition, I do not want to be regarded as a comment full of discrimination against women. I don't want to make any moral criticism, but I just want to talk about the facts of scientific research. In other words, I don't think there is anything wrong with your ex-girlfriend's practice. You should be able to understand what I mean.

Finally, I wish you a successful growth from a three-line gem ticket to a large blue-chip market. Although it is difficult, you should at least make more efforts. Goodbye.