Seven fables worth collecting

 

(1) the fable of growth: Be an apple tree that will grow forever

An apple tree finally came to an end.
In the first year, it had 10 apples, 9 were taken away, and 1 was obtained by itself. In this regard, the apple tree was indignant, so it was disconnected and refused to grow. In the next year, it had five apples, four were taken away, and one was obtained by itself. "Haha, I got 10% RMB last year and 20% RMB this year! Doubled ." This apple tree is psychologically balanced.
However, it can continue to grow. For example, in the next year, it had 100 fruits, 90 of them were taken, and 10 of them were obtained.
It is very likely that 99 are taken and one is obtained by yourself. But it doesn't matter. It can continue to grow. In the third year, there will be 1000 fruits ......
In fact, it is not the most important thing to get fruit. The most important thing is that apple trees are growing! When the apple tree grows into a towering tree, the forces that once hindered its growth will be weak and negligible. Really, Do not care too much about fruit. Growth is the most important thing.

[Psychological comments] Are you a migrant worker who has broken their meridians?
At the beginning of your work, you were brilliant and eager to believe that "I am born to be useful ". However, the reality is that you have been hitting on a few of your backdoors quickly. Maybe you have made great contributions to the Organization, but you have not paid much attention to it. Maybe, you have only received verbal attention but have not received any benefits. Maybe ...... In short, you think that, like the apple tree, the fruit you produce is only a small part, which is far from your expectation.
So, you're angry, you're upset, you're full of complaints ...... In the end, you decide not to work so hard to match your own income. A few years later, you reflected on the fact that you have no passion or talent at work.
"Old, mature ." We are used to making fun of ourselves. But in essence, you have stopped growing.
Such stories are everywhere around us.
The reason for this mistake is that we forget that life is a process and a whole. We feel that we have grown up, and now it is time to get this result. We care too much about the temporary gains and losses, and forgetting to grow is the most important thing.
Fortunately, this is not the self-Breaking Meridian in Jin Yong's novels. We can give up doing so at any time and continue to grow.
Remember: if you are a migrant worker and encounter a boss or company culture who does not understand management, brutal management, or incorrect management, remind yourself, do not break the meridians with anger or complaints. No matter what you encounter, you have to make an apple tree that grows forever, because your growth is always less important than taking money every month.

(2) fable of motivation: Who are the children playing?

A group of children were playing in front of an old man's house, crying for days. In the past few days, the elderly have been unbearable.
So he gave every child 25 cents and said to them, "You have made it very lively. I feel that I am a lot younger and I am grateful for the money ."
The children are very happy. The next day, they are still playing. The old man came out and gave every child 15 cents. He explained that he had no income but to give less. 15 cents is fine, and the child left happily.
On the third day, the old man only gave each child 5 cents.
The children were furious. "It's only five cents a day. Do you know how hard we are !" They swear to the old man that they will never play for him again!

[Psychological comment] Who are you playing"
This fable is the deeper answer to the apple tree's fable: Why does the apple tree break its meridian because it is not "playing" for itself ".
There are two types of motivations: Internal motivation and external motivation. If we act based on internal motives, we are our masters. If we are driven by external motives, we will be influenced by external factors and become slaves to it.
In this fable, the calculation of the old man is very simple. He turns the children's internal motives "play for their own happiness" into external motives "play for cents ", he manipulated the cent external factor, so he also manipulated the children's behavior. The old man in the fable does not look like your boss or boss? And cents, like your salary, bonuses, and other external rewards?
If we use external reviews as reference coordinates, our mood may fluctuate. Because we cannot control external factors, it is easy to deviate from our internal expectations, make us dissatisfied, let us complain. Negative emotions such as dissatisfaction and complaints make us suffer. To reduce the pain, we have to lower our internal expectations. The most common way is to reduce the effort of our work.
The main reason a person has an external evaluation system is that his parents like to control him. Parents are fond of using verbal rewards and punishments, material rewards and punishments, and other measures to control their children. Over time, the child forgets his original motivation and cares about external comments. At school, he forgot the original motivation of Learning-curiosity and happiness of learning; after work, he forgot the original motivation of work-the joy of growth, the boss's evaluation and income fluctuations have become the biggest source of happiness and pain in his work.
Remember: the external evaluation system is often a family inheritance, but you can completely break it and cultivate your own internal evaluation system from now on, make learning and work "play for yourself ".

(3) fable of the plan: fold a piece of paper for 51 times

Imagine you have a piece of white paper in your hand. Now, your task is to fold it 51 times. So How high is it?
A refrigerator? First floor? Or is a skyscraper so high? No, there is too much difference. The Thickness exceeds the distance between the earth and the sun.

[Psychological comment]
Now, I have asked a dozen people about this fable. Only two people have said that this may be an unimaginable height, the highest height that others think of is the height of a skyscraper.
The height of 51 folds is so horrible, but what if we just fold 51 sheets of White Paper together?
This comparison shocked many people. Because there is no direction or lack of planning, it is like simply stacking 51 sheets of white paper together. This is done today, and tomorrow, there is no connection between every effort. In this way, even if every job is done very well, they are just a simple superposition for your whole life.
Of course, life is more complex than this fable. Some people are determined to do it in a simple direction in their life, and their life has finally reached an unattainable height for others. For example, if a friend of mine lives in English, he has spent more than ten years working hard, and the memory of words alone has reached more than ten thousand. At this point, he has reached the level that most people cannot reach.
Some people, for example, start a company as a boss, need many skills-professional skills, management skills, communication skills, and decision-making skills. They may try to do this at the beginning, and then try to do that. None of them are especially proficient, but in the end, this direction of opening a company as a boss integrates previous seemingly scattered efforts. This is also a complicated way of folding life, rather than simply overlapping.
Remember: visible power is more useful than invisible power.
Nowadays, it is popular to look for answers from invisible places, such as potential development, such as success, and think that our life will be saved by some miracles. However, in my opinion, Mao zhengqiang, a consultant at the Dongguan hengyuan Psychological Counseling Center, said, "It is far more important to make good use of existing capabilities by planning ."

(4) An escape fable: the tricks of the kitten escaping from the shadow

"Shadows really hate it !" Tom and Toby both think like this: "We must get rid of it ."
However, wherever you go, Tom and Toby find that when there is sunshine, they will see their own shadows that drive them crazy.
However, Tom and Toby finally found their respective solutions. Tom's approach is to always close his eyes. Toby's approach is to stay in the shadows of other things forever.

[Psychological comment]
This fable shows how a small psychological problem becomes a greater psychological problem.
It can be said that all psychological problems come from the distortion of facts. What are the facts? It is mainly the negative events that make us suffer.
We are unwilling to face this negative event because of the painful experience. However, once such a negative event occurs, it is doomed to accompany us for a lifetime. What we can do is to suppress them to the subconscious at most. This is called forgetting.
However, they will continue to work in the subconscious. Moreover, even if we forget the facts, the pain of these facts will still attack us, which makes us sad for some reason and cannot be restrained. This kind of pain makes us try to escape.
At the end of the development, the common solution is either: We are like Tom, a kitten, completely twisting our own experience and turning a blind eye to all the negative facts that are important; or, like the kitten Toby, we simply rely on pain and make all our affairs very bad. since everything is so bad, the original event that makes you the most sad is not that painful.
Li Ling, a consultant at the Baiyun mental hospital, said that 99% of drug addicts had a painful experience. They take drugs to escape these pains. This is like hiding in the shadows. the painful fact is that a devil simply sells himself to a larger devil to avoid it.
There are also a lot of adult people who are drinking alcohol. They have had a father who is drinking and violent, and have been suffering a lot from his father. They learned the same way to forget this pain.
In addition to these visible and erroneous methods, we humans have also invented countless ways of escaping from suffering, which was called a psychological defense mechanism by Freud. These defense mechanisms are necessary when it is too painful, but the worst thing is that if the psychological defense mechanism is too distorted by facts, it will bring out more psychological problems, such as obsessive-compulsive disorder, social anxiety disorder, multi-personality, and even Schizophrenia.
There is only one way to truly reach the health-face the pain. People who face the pain will get many unexpected gains from the pain, and they will eventually become the party's wealth of life.
Remember: shadows, like the light, are the wealth of life.
One of the most important psychological patterns is that no matter how painful things are, you cannot escape. You can only face it, resolve it, surpass it, and finally reach a settlement with it. If you lack the power for the moment, you can seek help, seek help from friends and friends, or seek professional help, so that people you trust can face these painful things with you.
American psychologist Rogers was once the most lonely man, but when he faced this fact and resolved it, he became a real interpersonal master; american psychologist Frank has a violent and alcohol-consuming stepfather and a bad mother, but when he challenges this fact and finally forgave his parents, he becomes an expert in the treatment of this problem; japanese Psychologist sentian zhengma was once a serious neurological patient, but by challenging this fact, he finally invented sentian therapy ...... The most painful fact in their lives has finally become their most important fortune. You can do the same.

(5) fable of action-crabs, owls, and bats

Crabs, owls, and bats go to bad habits cram schools. After several years, they all successfully graduated and obtained a doctorate. However, crabs are still rampant, owls are still sleeping during the day and night activities, and bats are still suspended.

[Psychological comment]
This is a fable of Master Huang yongyu. Its implication is simple: action is more important than knowledge.
This fable is also thought-provoking when it comes to mental health.
The knowledge of psychology is profound and profound. However, a good psychological knowledge cannot automatically help a person become healthier. In fact, I know some people who have studied psychology for many years. One of their purposes is to manage themselves, but after so many years of learning, their problems remain.
One of the most important reasons for this is that they did not practice it, So knowledge is just a distant knowledge, and knowledge is not converted into their own life experience.
A friend of mine who liked psychology was once considered insensitive by many psychologists and is not suitable for psychology. However, facts have proved that such speculation is incorrect. He is not sensitive enough, but he has a great advantage: knowing a good knowledge, he will immediately execute it in his own life. In this way, those distant knowledge becomes a real life experience, and he can help himself and many others without having to "understand" too much.
If we say that high sensitivity is a kind of genius quality, then high mobility is a more important genius quality.
This fable can also come up with another implication: do not expect the magic of mysterious mental therapy too much. The most important force is always on your own. The mysterious knowledge, the mysterious potential development, and the dazzling success of learning are far less important than your own strength. We are used to looking for answers from the outside and for power from others. If we forget the power, we will find ourselves.
Remember: others' knowledge cannot automatically save you.
If some wonderful words touch you, if some text or new lines inspire you. The texts and experiences of others are just the beginning. More importantly, you apply the knowledge you think is good to your own life.
The words of the Jewish philosopher Martin Buber have always been considered the most important:
You must start by yourself. For you, survival will remain meaningless.

(6) the fable of giving up: bees and flowers

The rose withered, And the bee is still trying to suck, because it used to suck sweetness from this flower. But now, on this flower, the Bees suck in poison juice.
The bee knows this because the juice is bitter and tastes a lot different from the previous one. As a result, the bee was so angry that it took a sip and raised its head to complain to the whole world. Why did the taste change ?!
At last one day, I don't know why, because the bees are flying a little higher with wings. At this moment, it found that the withered rose is surrounded by flowers everywhere.

[Psychological comment]
This is a fable about love. It is the true feeling of a young Chinese teacher.
For a while, she fell in love and was in pain. She always wanted to ask me for a chat. I hope my psychology knowledge could help her. We have been around for a long time, but two months have passed, and the time of the two cannot happen together.
The last time she asked her, she said, "Thank you! No, I want to understand ."
It turns out that she just returned from Jiuzhaigou. The lovelorn pain is still entangled with her, so that she can not enjoy the beauty of Jiuzhaigou. Inadvertently, she noticed that a bee was collecting honey on a flower. In a flash of a flash, her mind burst into a sentence: "On the withered flowers, bees can only suck in the poison juice ."
Of course, little bees in nature will not do this. Only humans are so stupid. The bees in her words certainly refer to themselves. At this moment, she realized the truth of giving up. In the past, she wanted me to help her out, but her wings grew on her own, and she wanted to fly.
It is not easy to give up. It is especially painful to give up in love. Because, love is a replication of our parent-child relationship when we were young. Young children, no matter in which aspect, can't do without Mom and Dad. If mom and dad deny Him, it means death for him, which is the ultimate harm and fear. We have more or less experienced the pain and fear that our mom and dad have denied. So when love-the copy of this parent-child relationship once again gives us the experience of this pain and fear, our mood can easily become very bad.
However, there is a huge difference between love and parent-child relationship: When we were young, we could do nothing, and everything was done by our parents. But now, when we grow up, we have the power to choose our own destiny. It can be said that in childhood, we were little bees without wings, but now we have a pair of powerful wings.
However, when we fall deeply into love, we will return to our childhood, and we will forget that we have a pair of wings that can fly. After we realize this, love will no longer be an automatic replication of the parent-child relationship, and our love will be free and give up.
Remember: Love is a thing for two people, two completely equal and independent people. You can work hard, but it doesn't mean that if you work hard, it will certainly be effective, because another person, you cannot control.
Therefore, no matter how much you care about a love, if another person is determined to leave you, please respect his choice.
Also, remember that you are no longer a child and can only listen to the suffering. You are an adult, and you have powerful wings. You can fly out of a relationship that has become a poison.

(7) Intimate fable: unique rose

The little prince has a small planet, and a delicate rose suddenly blooms on the planet. In the past, there were only some unknown flowers on the planet. The little prince never saw such a beautiful flower. He fell in love with this rose and cared for her carefully.
In those days, he thought that this was the only flower in the world, only on his planet.
However, when he came to Earth, he found that only one garden had 5000 identical flowers. At this moment, he knew that he only had a common flower.
At the beginning, this discovery made the little prince very sad. But in the end, the little prince understands that, despite the numerous roses in the world, the one on his planet is still unique because the Rose has been watered, she was covered with a flower mask, screen-protected, apart from the caterpillars on her body, she also heard her complaints and self-proclaimed, and her silence ...... In a word, he tame her and she also tame him. She is his unique rose.
"Because you have spent time on your rose, it makes your rose so important ." A fox who was tame by the little prince said to him.

[Psychological comment]
This is a famous fable in the French masterpiece "Little Prince". I have read it for more than 10 times, but it was still not found out until 2005.
In the face of 5000 roses, the little prince said, "You are beautiful, but you are empty. No one can die for you ."
Intimacy makes sense only when love is poured into it. But now we are getting more and more popular with the "intimacy", the most typical of which is the one-night stand flooding by the network.
We are eager to own it. It seems that every time you have a rose, the value of your own life will be a little more. In the Internet era, it is no longer uncommon to have dozens of lovers. But none of the people I know are empty. They do not enjoy relationships. They only enjoy conquest.
"A person with a higher desire to conquer is less interested in relationship intimacy ." Rong Weiling, a consultant at Guangzhou Baiyun mental hospital, said, "before they do not have ownership, they will try their best to narrow the relationship. But once they have it, they will quickly lose interest in this intimacy. The stronger the desire to conquer, the faster the loss ."
For such a person, a rose garden is more attractive than a unique rose.
However, the beauty of the relationship is about the two's investment and the degree of being tame. When two people put in and are naturally tame, the relationship will become a life nourishment, making a person's life more full and beautiful.
However, no matter how close it is. The little prince is still the little prince, the rose is still the rose, and they are still two individuals. If the Rose will not let the little prince travel, or the little prince will not bring the rose to his body when traveling, the two must be stuck together, and the relationship will no longer be enjoyment, but become a burden.
Remember: a close and independent relationship is better than one thousand. Such a relationship will save us from the irretrievable loneliness and is the most important salvation in our lives.
If you have never experienced this, you cannot know the beauty of this relationship.