The best joke about the group of animals in the university dormitory

Source: Internet
Author: User
Tags sodium
Scenario 1:
I am relatively lazy, so I have no need to wash my clothes. Sometimes I buy a dozen T-shirt and so at a time until I can't wear them any more.
A pair of sock is worn for too long, and the whole front foot is exposed. When I saw my colleagues before going to bed at night, I asked: Where did I buy a personalized wrist guard?
Faint... immediately threw away those so the next day.
  
Scenario 2:
The old four on the top of the shop is better than me. They put their dirty clothes there without being washed or thrown away, and pick out clean ones from a pile of dirty clothes to respond to emergencies as needed. Once upon his Sy, JY got his pants and did not know it. As a result, the next day, when he was doing the experiment, the tutor just asked him to demonstrate on the podium ...... Ah, wow, he did not dare to look up and meet his classmates after several days of walking.
  
Scenario 3:
The most amazing thing is the dormitory boss. A coat can be worn for a winter, and it has successfully solved the problem of inconvenient washing clothes in the cold weather. So we asked him the secret.
-- I can wear both sides of my coat. He explained that I can change the other side if I wear a dirty coat.
-Is the other side dirty? Continue to ask
-- When the other side is dirty, the inside side is almost clean.
-Why? We are puzzled
-- The inside is wiped clean on the sweater ......
Khan ...... Faint, cold

-Isn't the sweater dirty? We continue to ask
-- It doesn't matter if the sweater is dirty. It cannot be seen in it.
Dizzy again ...... Khan ...... Giant cold
-In this way, I flip it over until the inside, outside, and sweater are dirty. What should I do? Let's break the casserole and ask to the end
-- Don't worry. At that time, winter has passed ......
Dizzy ...... Waterfall Khan ...... Speechless ...... Violent cold ......
  
This is a common practice among boys, but it can also make people tremble in June and sweat in lunar December.
However, this is nothing more than dirty.
  
Boys are too lazy to be dirty. I mean.
  
Scenario 4:
Sometimes there are mosquitoes in the dormitory in the summer. When a night's sleeping properly is awakened by a mosquito, It is very annoying. Then, after hearing a bang, I feel the whole world is quiet, and then I am sleepy again. When I got up the next morning, I found that I was missing a sock. I remembered that I threw the sock out last night and looked for it everywhere. I looked up while I was confused, but I found that the sock was stuck on the wall for a night without falling down ...... Khan ......
  
Scenario 5:
The sock and underpants will become very sticky after being worn for a long time, and the old four in this dormitory also have deep experience. One time I took a shower with him. When I took off my underpants, he suddenly shouted and grabbed JJ. I couldn't help but ask him what happened. Who knows? He said:
-- The TMD underpants have been stuck on JJ for too long. It just took off so much and it hurt JJ skin ......
CRASH ing, and all the people present turned over on the spot.
  
Scenario 6:
The second child was also very strong. He went to the movies on Valentine's Day and went to the movies. After he came back, he was crying and asked if he had been scolded by GF. Then, he asked the details again. When he was watching a movie, the second child bought some snacks to watch and eat with GF. After a while, he found that there was no paper towel. The second child said that he had a handkerchief and took it out to GF, GF wiped his hands and rubbed his mouth again. It felt a bit wrong. The cinema was too dark and hard to see. GF always felt awkward. I took a lighter from the second and found out where the handkerchief was, it's a stinking so with the first child ......
Khan ...... The second child is used to shoot his shoes in the classroom and other public places, and every time he puts his so in his trouser pocket ......
  
Scenario 7:
The most amazing thing is the boss. Once in the dormitory, Everyone stinks worse than the feet (do you think we are bored, even this one), the second child can see steam flowing out of his feet after taking off his so, the whole room was stunned, with only the boss who had been quietly on the top of the shop. He took off his so and stretched out his feet ......
Steam gases can also be seen, but they do not go up, but sink! Days ...... What is that? It's bigger than air!
Suddenly that taste filled the entire dormitory, how to describe it, like a fierce opening of the next year's pickles and then add the smell of stinky tofu, suddenly all feel inferior, the entire dormitory full retreat ......
  
Everyone was so cool, until one time they had a bitter taste.
The next plot is highly appetizing. It is recommended that you skip it if you are preparing for dinner or a friend who is not short after dinner. Otherwise ...... Don't blame me for not reminding you ......
  
Scenario 8:
I met many netizens while I was in college. Both ggjjddmm and ggjddmm often invited me to the dormitory.
The other three members in the dormitory went out all night to fight for CS, and I made an appointment with plmm to drink and eat in the dormitory. This mm often came to our dormitory and was very familiar with everyone, so it was very open, and I also liked this PL and cute mm. I thought I had a good time chatting with her, so I had to drink too much without knowing it, the system will only respond after drinking the lock in the dormitory room. No way to go, the two people will continue to drink and chat, until the end unconsciously fell asleep on the table.
MM woke me up in the middle of the night, and I looked at her with sleepy eyes. MM said she wanted convenience. It's no wonder that if you drink so much at night, you will definitely want to release the memory.
I told her to go out and walk down the corridor to the toilet, but the boys' dormitory only has the men's restroom.
She shook her head and said not to go to the men's restroom for fear of being seen.

I thought about it and said that we should either find a corner in the corridor to solve the problem. We usually do this.
She frowned and shook her head like a rattle to say no to death, so she would rather go to the men's restroom.
What should I do ...... I am in a dilemma.
Suddenly, I thought of a solution that we sometimes don't bother to go out. I picked up a beer bottle and handed it to her, telling her that we can solve it first. Remember to drop it tomorrow.
She thought about it and seemed to agree with this method.
But she didn't reach out to pick up the bottle, but gritted her lips with a red face. She looked at the bottle and looked at me again?
What's wrong? I scratched my head, looked at the bottle, and looked at her again.
Yes, girls and boys are different. You cannot easily aim at such a small bottle, I think.

I looked around and got my eyes on the shelf at the corner of the house. I found a huge space cup under the shelf. It looked dirty and should be useless.
So I handed the cup to her, and she nodded and motioned to ask me to leave temporarily.
I just wanted convenience, so I went out and brought the door.
After taking the two steps, she drank too much and thought she was not at ease. Then she quietly returned to the window and looked at it from the gap between the curtains.
MM put the cup on the stool, pull the legs apart, and put the cup in the skirt, then help with your hands, close your eyes and relax. It seems that you are ready ......
It seems that there should be no problem ...... I thought, and I turned to the toilet.
I know that girls work slowly. Just in case, I had to go back in the corridor for more than half a day.
I knocked on the door and didn't respond. I pushed the door in and found that she fell asleep on the table again.
I smiled, shook my head, woke her up, and helped me go to bed.
After the arrangement, I yawned and fell sleepy. I didn't think much about it, so I went to bed on the fourth day.
In this way, I slept until the next morning when they came back and woke us up.

-- When we got up, the boss said, looking at the pile of wine bottles, hey, how much did you drink ......
I yawned and sat up, and mm got up to handle the messy hair.
The second child jumped onto the bed and went to bed. It seems that he was so tired last night.
The old four went to the shelf, picked up a cup of water, unscrewed the lid, and then cool.
-- Wow, is this water broken ...... When the old guy drank a few drinks, he found something wrong.
The boss heard the cup and frowned: The water fell, and he couldn't drink it. it's about to fall ......
-- Ah, that ...... MM suddenly covered his mouth and looked down with a red face.
-- Why? Well, I don't think she is quite comfortable. Pat her head and say, "Let's go. I'll send you back first, and then you can make up for it.
......

On the way back to her, she suddenly added something to my ear and said something. I almost sprayed it out after hearing it. In the morning, the old four took the cup that she conveniently used last night ......
Waterfall Khan ...... Arctic cold ...... Sweating and trembling ......
On the way back, I decided not to tell the old four well ......
My God, I thought the dirty cups used to hold washing powder turned out to be the old four cups. It seems that we really need to pay attention to personal hygiene ...... I began to rejoice that it was not my cup ......
......

However, I always felt that I couldn't help but tell him one morning that the poor old man had been holding the wall for a long time and had no appetite for several days.
Afterwards, MM thought back and thought it was shy, funny, and embarrassing. We decided to change our habits and bad style.
Later, my daily habits improved a lot. In retrospect, I thought it was not a good thing. We all joked that thanks to mm, except for the old four, he still felt a loss, try to make sure that the entire mm is correct, so ......
  
I would like to emphasize that the following circumstances are restricted. It is recommended that the patients with high blood pressure who have a low appetite should not continue, otherwise ...... Do not throw me with a stinking egg.
Also, do not imitate it.

Plot 9:
  
This is a thing that can only come out of a dormitory like ours.
  
I don't know where I learned the idea. I bought some spicy tofu from the school canteen, chopped it, put some ham or something, and poured a little seaweed and egg soup until it became a thin paste, at first glance, it looks very vomit.
-- ** It's disgusting. What can I do with this! Everyone expressed dissatisfaction with the behavior of the old four's "fail ".
So the old four began to tell us his plan:
I found a time for about mm to come out for dinner. I put these disgusting things into a plastic bag and hid them in my clothes. I pretended to drink too much in the room for vomiting. Then I dumped these things. Next ...... Try again ...... The effect must be quite impressive ......

-- Wow ...... At this point, the food is already a piece of sputation.
However, I think it is quite interesting to think about it. I really want to know what it will do after it is done. I think it will be very exciting, so I started preparing this plan together ......
As arranged, four people in the dormitory invited mm to dinner at the weekend evening. The boss with the bag of disgusting food had been drinking. We kept watching and preparing for action.
Suddenly, the boss said, "wow", and a bunch of dummies spit out a bowl full of stuff in front of him.
Mm was stunned by the unexpected situation and looked at the boss with some surprise
The remaining three of us looked at each other and picked up the spoon at the same time, scrambling to put the stuff in the bowl into our mouth.
-- Wow *. It's a waste of time. Let's eat and say

MM suddenly grabbed his mouth and looked at us with amazement. People on the nearby dining table also looked at us with eyes like aliens.
No matter how many, continue to eat.
The old four also picked a scoop and handed it to mm: It tastes good. Do you want to try it too ......
The poor mm immediately got up and rushed to the bathroom. I believe it will definitely get worse.
We all laughed, and even swallowed up while eating. By the way, several people around the dining room rushed to the bathroom.
-Haha, it's fun and exciting. The old man said and giggle. It seems that he is taking revenge this time.
-Wait ...... The second child seems to have found something, which tastes a bit ......

I also felt a little awkward. I picked up a tomato skin and asked: do we have any tomatoes in these things ?......
The three are not feeling right. They will stare at the boss together.
-- Ah, no ...... Said the boss, pulling out the package that has not yet been split from his arms: I really spoke up. Before I can tell you, you will ......
Suddenly, the big stone with the words "blue and blue" fell from the sky and threw us to the ground.
-- Wow ~~~~ *~~~~~~~
After a few of us vomited, we beat the boss to the ground again ......
  
Well, after the event, we still have some MM users who have lost appetite for a long time. It didn't take long for everyone to lose weight. Maybe only mm does not mind: It's just a icing on the cake. Let's just make the slim body lose weight ......
  
Scenario 10:
  
One winter physical education class, I learned how to fight the military.
During the free activities, the students are consciously practicing, but they are not familiar with their new learning. The movements are implicitly like the grandfather's noodles, and some of them are just a little open, just like the witch's jump rope, the coach shook his head.
All of a sudden, the old four in our dormitory emerged, attracting everyone's attention with a set of continuous and vigorous actions.
Every action seems so well in place, and some seem to have exceeded the military boxing posture (MP is too little to map, just use a few symbols to make it together)
  
''O _/
'/|
'<
  
_ O |
''__
'/
  
''O _
''' |
''/
  
''_ O>
__/
'''>
  
That means, that posture, that margin, that power, let all the students present to be amazed, feel inferior
After dancing for a long time, I finally ended up with a beautiful and tangible pose:
  
''O/
'-|
'/>
  
The whole set of actions were full and clean, and suddenly all of them burst into an eye to worship him.
  
Who knows when the fourth party put away the pose and wiped his fingers and said a sentence:
-- Tnnd finally dumped the big nose Ti sticking to his hand. I didn't expect the sticking to be so tight that I spent so much effort on it for a long time ......
  
Suddenly, the whole site is upside down ......
Afterwards, we started to use the newly learned military, military, boxing, and flat. This is a waste of People's expressions ......
Khan ......
  
  
Plot 11:
  
I believe everyone has had the embarrassing experience of having no toilet paper taken. How do you feel when I found that my toilet paper didn't carry enough? Let's look at it.
  
I went to the bathroom together with my second child in the recess. After my squatting, my second child suddenly exceeded his hand paper and asked me to divide him.
Khan ...... I forgot to bring it again. I know this kind of thing. This guy has been 6th times since the start of school.
No way ...... I didn't bring much, so I had to give him another half.
The two squatted far away. I threw the paper into a group and threw it to him. Who knows how hard it was? The paper was flying over his head and fell into another position ......
Khan ......
I looked dull, and the second child continued to look at me with expectation ......
No ...... I told him that it was not enough, and I couldn't do it any more. Let's just wait for me to get you some.
I'm afraid it's too late. The second child shook his head and is about to attend class.
So what should we do? I am also embarrassed to say that we are a little too far away. If we throw it to you and try again, I am afraid we will both ......

Oh, this is not a problem ...... I have a solution ...... The tone of the second child is very confident.
Hmm? Is there any way ......
My voice hasn't fallen. I saw my second child squatting with his trousers, and moving the PP without wiping it to this side with a twist ...... It seems that I think of my position.
I almost fainted on the spot ......

When the second child was halfway through, he suddenly came in with a DD. At the first glance, he saw the second child carrying his trousers and walking with pp. He suddenly glared at his eyes and looked confused, at this time, the second child also looked back at him, and the two were so stunned to stay there ......
At this time, the four weeks were suddenly surprisingly quiet ...... Both of them are set there like stone carvings ......
What is the ultimate embarrassment? I believe that at this time, both of them will have a deep understanding ......
It took four or five seconds. I don't know whether it was due to tension or other reasons. The second child had a bad fart. He obviously wanted to suppress it, however, the more powerful the gas from the narrow gap, the higher the frequency of the sound, described in an article in the primary language, the sound is slim Wan, as if a line of steel into the sky ......

Next is the dead silence ......
At this time, I can't find any words to describe ...... Just the sweat on your back ......
In this way, the red-faced second child really can't care so much, tears burst into his pants and then left the toilet, only the overwhelmed dd is still stunned there ......
Later, the second child vowed that he would never go to the restroom again this semester ......
Khan ......
Every time I think about it, I think it's cold. I know him and I know that day, his pp seems to have not been wiped ......
  
Well, remember to bring your hand paper to the toilet in the future. Otherwise ......
What is this story not exciting? Let's take a look at it. It's also about the restroom. It's absolutely exciting.
  
Scenario 12:
  
Finally, it was my turn to play.
  
I secretly brought out a bottle of sodium when I went for a chemistry experiment. As we all know, sodium reacts sharply when it encounters water, and a large amount of heat is released, just as quicklime encounters water. However, the sodium block reaction is much more intense, so the sodium is soaked in kerosene and stored in the bottle.
I don't know what the effect will be if I put these sodium blocks in the toilet. So I unscrewed the bottle containing the sodium block and kerosene and placed them next to the restroom pool in the dormitory building, then, find a squatting room and open the door and wait for it to change.
After waiting for a long time, it seems that no one noticed the small bottle and was a little worried.
Finally, a GG came in and found the small bottle halfway through it. So she curiously turned JJ and aimed at the bottle ......

Then I began to hear the sound in the bottle, just as the water burned out and turned out a lot of foam and steam.
The GG was suddenly surprised. He stopped looking at the bottle and looked down at his JJ ......
At this moment, the bottle suddenly burst into a "cool", and the surrounding fire suddenly splashed, it seems that the reaction was too violent to ignite the kerosene, the bottle was also rushed up, draw an arc in the air with a long flame.
This uninformed Gg was apparently intimidated by the sudden situation and shouted out of the toilet with JJ ...... I'm afraid that sounds should be heard in ten miles ......
Then the burning bottle fell from the air and fell into a squatting room next to it. Then the "Dong" bottle came into the water, the bang was a sudden explosion, and then a large volume of steam was produced in the same way as the "Bang" refinery ......
After a long time, the response finally subsided. Fortunately, there were no other people in the toilet. I slowly came to the squatting room and carefully came to the door to check the room ......

Wow *! It is really a terrible thing. The whole squatting room is filled with a steam that doesn't tell what the taste is. The squatting pool reflects the unknown products that are left behind, while the walls around the squatting position are full of the cracked poop, it's better to use the dung to paint the wall ......
Khan ......
Imagine the spectacular sight of a burst of fire in the pool. I closed the door quickly, so no one found that I was leaving the site quickly ......

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