9 o'clock last evening, the wife made a phone call, lying in bed and fell asleep. They shouted in the bedroom, I just vaguely heard, but did not block my sleep footsteps, then my wife called me, I did not hear, wife, sorry. My feeling is tired, not my body tired, really is the heart tired, many let me helpless things, worry I just want to escape.
More than 4 o'clock this morning, I woke up, naturally woke up, after waking, looking out of the window dark days, think that this is the darkness before the dawn. Before the primary school, early high school is often at dawn time to get up, get up to study, really miss that time. Wake up in the morning, quiet, the head can see the flying bats, can see the west side of the eye-catching Cassiopeia, smell the morning cool and dry air, body and mind are so comfortable. Now maybe that kind of scene still exists, just feel is not I, here never saw bat, never seen the stars covered with the sky, very little experience in the morning cool air, everything here is I hate ...
Why, then? Because I'm in a big city.
Before coming here, there are lofty ambitions, there are filled with passion, not long to be spent. I feel the great pressure, a helpless boy, alone came to this huge city, see others live high-rise, other people open luxury sedan, but I, even to find his wife's 200 money tolls are not ... Once stood on the 20-storey high-rise overlooking, sigh, the city so big, why I so small, who knows, in this city, there is my existence.
So, I try ... A year has passed ... Two years have passed ...
I and she has been good for three years, and after two year, I have nothing to her, not accompanied by her side, did not give her romantic, did not give her happiness ... But she is silly wait for me, wait for me to get better, when the day of our happiness comes, put her youth, her future, reposing in the sea a swaying boat, look forward to this boat, someday, can become a ship, give her a stable home, with her voyage ...
But the boat carries the enormous pressure, has from the sea wind and waves monstrous pressure, has from the harbor the unknown family member's deep anticipation, I good wants to evade ... So I want to find a warm harbor to berth ...
But I told myself, can not escape, I warned myself, bearing the pressure, warned himself, you are a voyage of the ship, sailing ship, can only linger in the warm harbor, but can not be forever parked ... You are still very happy, there is a you do not leave the girlfriend, through thick and thin, weal and woe, a group of care for your family, they silently provide you with all you need, without a little complaint, this for you, is the pressure or motivation. For them, you should not be brave to the North Star strong driving. What are you afraid of when there is a big storm? You are not alone, behind you, there are warm, loving eyes watching you, you can fearless forward ...
This is the darkness before the dawn, bear the pressure, hard to face, one day, the first morning of the dawn, will pierce your vision ...
