The 48 jokes that cannot be deleted on my mobile phone are classic !! Self-maopu)

1. The soldiers asked the company commander: What should I do when I step on a mine during the war? The company was so angry: What can I do? Price-based compensation

2. Mo received your message for a long time.
I thought I used potato chips to cut my pulse and hit my head with tofu. I skipped the building with a parachute.
If you use noodles for hanging, you can use ink to death.
You just need to take it out.

3. If you feel like digging cold and digging cold, please call me! Press 1 to talk about feelings, press 2 to talk about work, press 3 to talk about life, and press 5 to introduce objects to me. If you have dinner, please go straight and ask me to borrow money and hook up.

4. The Giraffe married a monkey. A year later, the giraffe proposed a divorce: I will never go on this kind of day! Monkey furious: Leave! Who knows? You have to climb the tree!

5. Yu said, "I keep my eyes open all the time to stay with you ." Water said: "I am always tired to take you up around you ." Pan said: "It's just a matter of time ."

6. Have you eaten? Please receive text messages. The elephant put the stool in the center of the road, and an ant was passing by. It looked up at the top of the misty cloud and couldn't help singing: ah la Suo, This is the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau.

7. When you grow up, some things should let you know: the sky is used for wind and rain; the earth is used for long flowers and grass; I, is used to prove how great humans are; you are used to stew Vermicelli

8. When there is no paper in the large section next to the railway, don't worry. The train will remind you: pants, pants, pants! When the river is large but there is no paper, don't worry, the frog will tell you: Stick scratch, stick scratch, stick scratch

9. You can buy a house but not a home. You can buy a marriage but not a love. You can buy a watch but a time. Money is not everything. Instead, it is the root of pain. Give me your money, let me take the trouble!

10. God, it's too blue! Sea, too salty! Life is too difficult! Work, too annoying! And you! Miss you, insomnia! It's too far to see you! What can I do? You think I can't eat chopsticks, but can't swallow a bowl.

11. Send you 12 Chinese zodiac signs. I wish you a smart mouse, strong as a cow, bold as a tiger, cute as a rabbit, confident as a dragon, charming as a snake, romantic as a horse, gentle as a sheep, naughty as monkeys, beautiful as chickens, loyal as dogs, looks like pigs

12. The chimboo accidentally stepped on the stool of the great ape. The great ape gently and carefully scrubbed them and they fell in love. How did they come together? The orangutan said with emotion: ape dung! It's all ape dung!

13. The lion and the bear stool respectively beside the tree. A month later, the lion found that the tree beside his stool grew stronger than that of the bear, so I said a philosophy full of vicissitudes of life-better than a bear!

14. Think of a number in your heart, add 52.8 to it, multiply it by 5, then reduce the area by 3.9343, divide it by 0.5, and then subtract ten times the number in your mind, the answer is romantic!

15. You fart in the office, and my colleagues can't help but say you can't help but speak out. Then you could see that you were shaking and shaking, and asked what you were doing. You replied that I was shaking!

16. Dear God, please bless those friends who do not call me or send me text messages, or miss me: May the Lord drop their cell phones into the toilet, amen!

17. It is said that you may be cruel. You lay down in the theater to take up four seats. When someone calls you up, you just hum for two places, and the security guard says, "Friend is cruel enough, on which path? You gritted your teeth and said: Upstairs aisles fell!

18. Think about you, think about you, think about you, find a painter to draw you, stick you in a cup, drink water all day, and look at you-happy? Pour the cup of boiling water to burn you!

19. Dear user, at this time, we have deducted 20 yuan from your phone bill to the Palestinian national liberation business, for this reason, the autonomous go-Vern-ment decided to assign you a high title in the name of all the Arab worlds: This. salbaki!

20. The beauty of learning lies in confusing people. The beauty of poetry lies in inciting men and women to be derailed. The beauty of women lies in the stupidity of no regrets. The beauty of men, lies in lying.

21. What cares about you I only care about is whether you care about me, what you care about is whether you care about me and what you care about is what you care about me, look at you!

22. Have you heard of this? The first time I looked back in my past life, I had a chance to get my shoulder off. It seems that my close friend, like you and me, has never done anything in my life!

23. Two counterfeited banknotes accidentally created 15 yuan worth of counterfeit money. The two decided to spend the money in a remote mountainous area. When they bought a sugar gourd worth 15 yuan, they cried, and the farmers found two of them.

24. A portrayal of your life: ten years old, learn to take a bath by yourself-pig Ziqing; twenty-year-old, brilliant person-pig shimao; thirty years old, find a job-pig Liye; I have hired a servant at the age of forty-pig, and I learned to play basketball at the age of fifty-pig!

25. A three-year-old boy took a three-year-old girl's hand and said, "I love you ." The little girl said, "Can you be responsible for my future ?" The boy said, "Of course we can. We are not one or two years old !"

26. I talked to my friends about you just now. Do you know? I had a quarrel with them and almost started to fight, because some of them said you were like a monkey, and some said you were like an orangutan. It was too much! You are not a pig!

27. One day, I told you that you are a pig. You said: I am a pig. So I started calling you pig. One day, you could not help but announce in front of everyone that I am not a pig!

28. Three most popular words during the war in Iraq: Peace peace and war. if you find found and read these three English words three times, you will unveil a major historical mystery.

29. Persons
Meeting in love,
Not special;
Niu
Eat grass,
Not special;
Pig
By phone,
Special;
Also press!
Really cool!
Wow! Smile!
Cool pig!

30. There are two words that I have always wanted to say to you. I have the courage to mention today: first, I love you, and I like you very much. Second, never take the first sentence seriously.

31. Psychological testing:
I think my IQ is high.
I feel very humorous.
I think I'm quite attractive.
I think I'm pretty handsome.
Test results:
Pretty shameless

32. I see vicissitudes of life in your eyebrows, confidence in your eyes, time on your forehead, and leek on your lips. Brush your teeth!

33. You know a few of the words above, such as pushi, Zookeeper, and zookeeper, did you find that you have nothing but to eat shit?

34. Two cows are grazing. One of them said, "We will not be infected with crazy ox recently ?" The other side said, "No, we are kangaroo ." Crazy!

35. I have been an unknown knight in the rivers and lakes, until one day I met you, the most mysterious one, and even named you. From then on, I also have a well-known name: zhipiao!

36. Marriage: the family's poor are ugly.
Elementary School Culture rural hukou
Three sinks, one acre
No,
All year round
Today, I sent a text message to my girlfriend.
The road to revolution
May not?

37. DOCTOR: "Why can't I find my pen? I want to prescribe a prescription for you. "The patient whispered," Doctor, didn't you put it in my arm ?"

38. I want to make the sun warm you, decorate you with starlight, indulge you with wine, satisfy you with beautiful food, shine you with fireworks, and drown you with happiness, but I have never been a god for a long time. I can only use text messages to bless you: happy every day!

39. If all the pigs in the world are dead? (Playing a song) Answer: At least you

40,
Sat in the previous Qing dynasty,
Beiyang Army carried a gun,
The city of Wuchang has been deserted,
The Northern Expedition helped,
Peripheral injuries in Nanchang,
The long march has crossed the wall,
The enemy and the enemy leeching the goat,
Who else can be better than me?

41,
The warlord called Wang,
Fight pingjin and cross the house,
Crossing the Yangtze River and drinking soup,
Yalu river fed wolf,
Shelling the Golden Gate,
Self-defense fight back and scold Niang,
Reform and opening up have swept the Internet,
Who else can beat me?

42. A student "Where did you get my shirt ?" The people in the same room "sent the laundry room" "My God, I recorded all the points in the history lesson at the cuff ."

43. A mental illness is lying in bed singing, singing and singing, turning over and continuing to sing. The doctor asked him: Do you sing when you sing? What are you doing? A mental illness said: A fool, but naturally, B's face after a song!

44,
Nhz! Hsom
You can't guess,
You cannot understand,
Take a closer look!
Still unable to see?
Do you understand pinyin?
Do you have to be stupid?
Check your phone!

45. FATHER: "Why are you so stupid? It's really a pig! Cough! Do you know what a pig is ?" Son: "Yes, it's the son of a pig ."

46. GIRL: I always think that you have the same personality as when I was a child. Love LANG: yes, we are really interested. Girl: When I was a child, I liked to lie. Love LANG :...

47. A drunk man accidentally fell down from the third floor, attracting onlookers. A Pol. Ice came over: What happened? Drunk: I don't know. I just arrived.

48. When a man is about to jump off the building, his wife shouted, "Don't be impulsive. We have a long way to go! After hearing this, the man jumped down. Pol. Ice said: You shouldn't have threatened him like this!