The greatest joke

1. The Sperm says, "Oh shit !!!"

2. In a hospital, doctors and nurses are ugly. A patient was taken out of the teeth, and the bleeding was too high ......

3. A color wolf, a financial fan, and a gay man die at the same time. They all want to go to heaven. God said to them, they must pass the test on the way through heaven, and get rid of bad habits before they can enter heaven, otherwise they can only go to hell. When the three men set out to go to heaven, they suddenly saw a group of beautiful women on the side of the road. The color wolf walking in front of the road could not help but rushed over and tried to move his feet. As a result, they suddenly fell into hell. The other two continued to move forward and suddenly saw a wallet on the ground, which was faintly visible with a thick pile of money. The financial fans bent over to pick it up. In the moment when they were about to touch the wallet, they remembered the tragedy of the color wolf falling into the hell just now, then I got up and walked the rest of the journey to heaven ......

4. Huang Jing and Miss B have a leg. One day, Miss B drew a picture of a dead goat under two pigeons to Manager Huang, and the secretary of Manager Huang handed it over to the manager if he could not understand it. As a result, Manager Huang laughed ......

5. Man's favorite day: January 31, the most annoying day: December 1

6. New students enrolled in school, with two siblings surnamed Mei Reporting. The elder brother was named fengwu, and everyone said that he was well-known. When asked how he started, he said, "My mother gave birth to me, my father dreamed that a Phoenix was standing on a Wutong tree, therefore, this name is used." When I asked his younger brother, his younger brother refused to speak. At this time, his younger brother said, "My younger brother hated chickens most in the bamboo tree ......"

7. After reading the birthday record list, a college student asked: how can there be so many people in this time period in February? Is it better in March? Pai_^

8. Three bats used to go to the bar to drink. The first bat said, "Boss, please have a cup of blood ." The other two saw and said, "BS, you are still old ." The second bat said, "the boss has a cup of lemon blood ." The other two bats laughed: "Look at your taste ." The Third Bat said, "the boss has a cup of boiling water ."

9. In order to prevent daughter-in-law from getting on the ring, an old lady takes the place of the daughter-in-law. When the fourth daughter-in-law was replaced, the doctor said, "big mom, you 've all been on three rings, and then it's really Audi !" When the fifth daughter-in-law was replaced, the doctor said, "big mom, you have been on four rings. Then you can go on again ........................"

10. If:
My name is haohe, but you call it dangwu;
I am a pure brightness, but you are a River Map;
My name is xianjian, but you are called Xia Chuan;
I am called the Dynasty, but you are called red wine;
My name is a bow, but you are a big sculpture.
So:
My name is hematopoietic, but you call it (......).
My name is Chongyang, but you call it (......).

11. After a woman got older, she always wanted to pull the skin. After the result, she pulled the skin n times. After her forehead was left and right symmetric, she had two more moles, and her chin grew up with a beard ......

12. More than 20 frogs are swimming in a small river, and only one frog is wearing pants. Why?

13. What do Martian people like most when they come to Earth? The prompt answer is three words ..

14. Use a 4-character idiom to describe beautiful women who refuse to give birth to children.

15. Ant financial has been dropping from a height of 0.15 million kilometers to the ground and asked how the ant financial died? (Refuse to starve, thirst, death, and other low-level answers)

16. Sun Wukong's grandmother, mother and aunt sang karaoke together-a character with three words.

17. Who is the cheapest prostitute in the Tang Dynasty?

18. Asked me: how can I make money?
A :......

19. A new classmate in the class asked her to give a brief self-introduction: "Although I am new, I may not be the best, not necessarily the most beautiful, it may not be the best way to learn !!!"
Why did she get beat after class?

20. Medical Pain is divided into 12 levels. Level 1 is the pain of being bitten by mosquitoes, level 2, that is, the most painful level-the pain of childbirth. So what is the 13th level pain point?

21. Why are most women on the Internet?

22. Zhou Yu falls into the sulfuric acid pool-a disease.

23. men's underwear-Name a Chinese man.

24. A man is climbing the cliff, and the tool he uses is a rope. When he is about to climb to the cliff, he suddenly sees a big gray wolf, seeing it holding a candle, smiling face, it indicates that it is waiting for the candle to burn the rope. The climblies do not want to reimburse themselves for this short life. If they are anxious, they will not be able to. At this moment, they will make a plan, and they will face the wolf ......
Excuse me: What did the clientworker say or do to the big gray wolf? As a result, the big gray wolf blew out the candle by himself?

25. The lead put his hand on the leg of the female secretary and did not move it away for a long time.
The female secretary said: "Have you read" Deng Xuan "second volume, 361st pages, 11th rows ?"
The leader took his hand away with shame and went home to see the page that says :......
The leadership suddenly regretted it. What is it about?

26. On the way to the scriptures, Tang Miao occasionally preached the Dharma to his disciples. I once talked about my story about resisting temptation in my daughter's country. Tang Miao said: "The beauty of the world is nothing but a white bone in my eyes. Not only are the beauty of all beings in the world, such as Wukong, but you are just a bunch of white bones made of stones, you are a white bone in the liusha river. "Suddenly Tang Miao smiled and said," In my eyes, you are special. You are not a pile of stones. You are ......"

27. A rogue is playing a girl, and passers-by dare not come forward to stop it. Then a farmer rushed forward.
"Let her go"
"Who are you, silly * B, look for it !!!"
The little hooligans rushed forward, but only heard three noises. The little hooligans fell down to the ground with blood on their faces ...... -- Create a mineral water

28. Q: Do you know what the aesthetic views of the Qing Dynasty and the Tang Dynasty are different?
A: I know that Qing Dynasty women, such as Lin Daiyu, do not know whether to mount the horse.
Tang Dynasty beauty such as Yang Guifei ,(...............).
Enclose the parentheses.

29. Yao traveled around the Earth and his head went far beyond his feet. Assume that the Earth has a radius of 6000 kilometers.

30. An old sow crosses the bridge and the bridge can bear the weight of 500 kilograms. The old sow weighs 300 kilograms, But it collapsed when it reaches the bridge. What is the problem?