The way to Happiness

The first chapter on the question of happiness

The question of "Whether I am happy" implies a bipolar view of happiness: either happiness or unhappiness. In this understanding, happiness becomes an end, once achieved, our pursuit of happiness is over. In fact, the focus does not exist, and the persistent function of this misunderstanding leads to dissatisfaction and frustration.

Develop a habit: rather than strengthen self-discipline, develop a fixed habit. Forming a habit requires defining the details of the action and stipulating that it should be done within a specific time period, which requires a sense of profound value as a motive for acting. If we do not turn some activities into habits or patterns, the results are often not natural but rather let us live passively. In a planned, regular life, we can properly arrange time to provide time for better exploration of our autonomy and creativity.

Expressing gratitude: Studies have shown that people who keep a daily record of the things they are thankful for are actually healthier and happier in their bodies. When Thanksgiving becomes a habit, we will be more sincere in the life of the good times, and not take them for granted.

Chapter two four kinds of hamburger models of life interpretation

Busy type: Once the goal is achieved we often explain the relaxed mood as happiness, so when we have this illusion, we can not help in this way to surrender. The illusion of happiness comes from the elimination of stress and anxiety, which cannot be sustained for a long time because it is in itself a symbiosis with negative emotions.

Hedonism: The best moment for human beings, usually in the pursuit of a goal in the process of their own strength to play the most vividly. The Hedonism life has no challenge at all, so it is impossible to attain happiness. The fundamental mistake of hedonism is to assimilate effort with pain, pleasure and happiness.

Void idea: Nihilism represents those who indulge in the past and abandon the present and the future, and they are shrouded in the shadow of the past. Segliman's experiments show that people are very prone to being in a state of acquired helplessness, so when they fail or are helpless, we often choose to give up or even feel desperate.

Sentiment happiness: If an attempt to be happy forever, may only lead to failure and disappointment, not everything can simultaneously bring us the present and the future happiness. The true sense of well-being of happiness requires that we strive and strive happily for a meaningful goal. Happiness is not to climb to the top of the mountain, nor in the mountains aimlessly wandering, happiness is to climb the peak of the process of all kinds of experience and feelings.

Special logs in four quadrants: studies have shown that writing down both positive and negative managers can improve our physical and mental health. For 4 days in a row, write down your experiences in four quadrants, 15 minutes a day. On the fourth day, write down the experience of your "feeling happy" period. If you are particularly interested in a quadrant, write a little more, but do not exceed the range of one quadrant per day. At the same time, do not worry about whether the text is fluent and graceful, just write. Remember to write down how you felt and how you feel now, what you were doing and what you thought at that time and now.

Meditation Happiness: Regular meditation can bring profound changes to life. Choose a quiet place, take a deep breath, try to keep a calm mind, every time you inhale to the end, in the exhale, to slowly exhale. Scan your whole body with your mind, and if any part is tense, spread your breath over there and let the area relax. Continue to take a deep breath, surround yourself with positive emotions, and imagine yourself in a very happy state where this positive emotion spreads throughout the body and flows through the body.

Chapter III The Meaning of happiness

What happiness is: Happiness is a combination of joy and meaning.

Happiness: A happy person can also have emotional ups and downs, but he will maintain a positive attitude towards life on the whole. He is often driven by positive emotions, such as joy and love, which are seldom controlled by negative emotions such as anger or guilt. Happiness is the norm and pain is just a small episode.

Meaning: What we really need is the goals that make us feel meaningful from the inside. Different people will find meaning in different things, and it is important that we choose our goals to make sure that they hold on to their values and hobbies, not to cater to outside expectations.

Idealism and Realism: The essence of idealism is realism, because the idea of idealism is safe in accord with the nature of human nature. People's quest for meaning is absolute. The essence of idealism is to use a higher goal to guide life. Of course, in addition to a broader sense, we also need to find out the specific connotation of these meanings.

Potential and happiness: when the guide is the most meaningful life for yourself, we need to think about how to fully develop our potential.

Success and happiness: from the busy to the feeling of happiness, does not mean to do less or less enthusiasm, his meaning is to do the right things better, that is, what is good for the present and the benefits of things. From hedonism to the feeling of happiness, happiness will not diminish, the difference is to learn the appropriate pleasures rather than endless indulgence. A happy person will not accept a hard harvest point of view, within which he not only enjoy everything he has done, but also toward their own goals, such people tend to achieve greater success.

The need for Meaning and happiness: only happiness is not enough to reach the realm of happiness. Some simple self-help methods often overlook long-term happiness and our quest for meaning, and true happiness does not mean immunity from emotional or life difficulties. Happy people like to face difficulties, customers in the life of all kinds of obstacles. As Frankel says, "What man needs is not a world without challenges, but a goal worth striving for." What we need is not to dispense with trouble, but to be able to play our true potential. " Meaning and happiness, like short-term interests and long-term interests, can be mutually beneficial. When we have a sense of mission to our actions, we will be more happy, and in the work we do to find happiness, but also to deepen its meaning.

True happiness: The best way to enhance happiness is to try, learn from experience, and focus on your inner feelings. We must listen attentively and listen to the different voices in our hearts and minds, namely emotion and reason.

Life map: Take a little time every day to record the life of the day, can help us find their own happiness patterns. We may find that we spend most of our time on things we don't enjoy in the future, or do too much meaningless and unhappy things. Accordingly, we can make a better plan for our own life.

Honest Mirror: Write down in a table the most meaningful and enjoyable thing for you. Write down the time spent on everything next to each item. Repeat this exercise often, because profound changes are not overnight, it is important to rule and accustom your activities. You can try to stop bad habits while you are developing new habits.

Fourth Chapter Happiness is the ultimate wealth of life

All for happiness: for individuals, happiness should be the only measure of our success in life, as it is the ultimate goal of all goals.

Money and happiness: research shows that the relationship between wealth and happiness differs from our usual understanding. Too many successful people have gone through the doldrums, and the success they crave will make them more unhappy when they are fulfilled. In the unhappy days before success, they believe that as long as success will be happy, but when they achieve the goal will not find that the original expectations of happiness is not at all. At this time they thought the matter and the status can bring the permanent happiness to burst, then caught in now how to do the confusion. After discovering that all efforts and sacrifices did not bring happiness, they fell into the abyss of acquisition helplessness, and then became a model of nihilism.

Finishing exercises: Quickly think of 6 or more different endings, and then fill them in the back of the incomplete sentence. To see if you have learned anything from it, you may need to try several times to discover its efficacy. While the practice of filling out sentences is a conscious and subconscious participation, conscious thinking will help you gain more.

Create your happiness map: Based on the data collected from the tables in the previous chapter, create your ideal week, and the more specific the ideas in your mind, the more likely you will be to achieve them.

Fifth Chapter set Happiness goal

Goals and successes: people who have goals are more likely to succeed than those who have no goals. The goal conveys to us and others a kind of belief that customer service is difficult. A goal, a clear commitment, allows us to focus our attention and help us find a way to reach our goals.

Goal and happiness: human's ability to predict future emotions is very limited. The good news is that they are no longer so afraid of failure, the bad news is that success seems to become less important. Fortunately, we have a third option. The problem was that, whether it was nihilism or ambition, they were in the wrong direction, and they just looked at the results regardless of the process. When we understand this relationship, our goal is to bring more happiness.

Goals make sense: The purpose of the goal is to help us liberate ourselves so that we can enjoy everything in front of us. Contemporary research points out that the process of striving for a goal can lead to a happier and more positive emotional impact than achieving a goal. Goals are meanings, not endings. The goal is to get the necessities of happiness, but not all. In addition to the meaning of the goal itself, it is indispensable to the pleasure it brings to us on the journey.

The goal of self-harmony: The goal of self-harmony is the most determined consciousness from the heart, or the most interesting thing. In addition to the basic needs, if the pursuit of happiness as the premise, wealth and prestige should not be the core of our pursuit. Choosing the goal of self-harmony is difficult skill, requires correct self-cognition, and has strong self-control, because social influence and stress often make us make the wrong choice.

Want to do and have to do: the premise of self-harmonious goal is that the goal is to choose their own in the circumstances of freedom. One way to enhance happiness is to increase the number of things you want to do to reduce the number of things you have to do. Ask yourself what you want to do and what you can do to bring happiness and meaning to yourself. That's not enough, we need to get to know ourselves in more depth. When we feel and follow the joy of life, we can not only enjoy life, but also more successful.

Set goals for self-harmony: Ask yourself what you really want to do in your life, and specify the content, long-term goals, short-term goals, and action plans below each entry. Instead of setting goals for ourselves, we can easily be influenced by the outside world and pursue those that are difficult to achieve in self-harmony. We are always faced with two choices, passively influenced by external factors, or actively to create our own lives.

The Board of Happiness: Set up your own happiness board, members of those who care about you and your happiness and have a significant impact on your well-being. Let them supervise your plan and give timely advice. At the same time you have to meet with them regularly to discuss where to go, where more effort is needed, and which projects need to be improved and so on. You can also be called a member of the Board of Happiness of others, while helping others to pursue the ultimate wealth, unconsciously can also strengthen their pursuit of happiness.

The sixth Chapter Happiness study method

The flow of experience: we have been addicted to the experience of reading or collaboration, and sometimes we can not hear the other people, this is the heart flow experience, in the flow of the state, we both feel the joy, and show the best state. Having a clear goal is the premise of the flow of experience. If the task is difficult and the skill is insufficient, we will feel anxious, and if the skill is too high and the task is too simple, we will feel bored. The heart experience is only possible if the difficulty and skill match.

Loss of life: we should teach all children that the true happiness and fulfillment in life must depend on their own efforts and effort, not on the help of others. Struggles, difficulties and challenges are all indispensable to a rich life, and there is no shortcut to the path of happiness.

Everyone is equal before happiness: All people experience insecurity, fear, happiness and happiness. Regardless of income or social status, we have to fully accept ourselves.

Work makes you happier: human beings like to work more than they do, but people experience more in their work than in leisure activities. This contradiction shows that we are biased in our work. We often associate our efforts with pain, leisure and pleasure, and this momentum has interfered with our objective perception of our own experience. In order to be able to get more happiness in work and study, we first have to change our views and change our prejudice to our work. Everyone has a passion for learning, and children keep asking questions and constantly discovering the world around them. Educators, as people who help children to pursue their own values and gain a flow of experience, should nurture their children's passion for knowledge. They can transform learning into a fascinating and beautiful journey through the pursuit of happiness throughout life.

Develop a Learning Plan: Your plan can include personal growth and professional growth, in each type of learning, attentively to find happiness and meaning, to make your plan regular and customary.

The meaning of the dilemma: Write down a tough time you've been through, and after that, write down the benefits you get in that process. Think about it, have you become more resilient in that matter? Have you learned anything important? Will you become more thankful? Have you learned any other experience?

Seventh chapter Happy Work Law

These people are unhappy not because they really have no choice but because their decisions (putting matter and wealth above happiness and meaning) make them unhappy.

Enthusiasm is the driving force of happiness: Some external conditions can help employees to find more meaning in the work, the first job must be able to inspire staff's talent and potential, the second employee should be more space to play in the company's operations to play a more important role, not just bystanders, third, Employees should feel that their performance is meaningful. Making a decision to make a change at work or finding a new job can be scary, but if a job doesn't give you any sense of well-being, there's a need to change. To make a change in life, what is needed is courage, and courage itself does not mean that there is no fear, but that fear is still put into action.

Looking for a sense of mission: there are three attitudes, tasks, occupations, and missions that people take to work. Our position on the job has an impact on the job itself and on other life-related wellbeing. Looking for a sense of purpose requires an effort and a sober mind.

MPs mode: meaning meaning, happy pleasure and advantage strength. Ask yourself in three key questions: what can make sense to me? What can bring me happiness? What is my advantage? Pay attention to the order, then look at the answers and find the intersection, and that's the job that will make you feel happy.

Finding a position in life: MPs can also help us make important decisions in other areas of life. MPs can also be a good tool for managers, helping employees discover and engage in work that they feel are both interesting and meaningful, and that not only increases their level of commitment but also improves their performance.

Fostering a sense of mission: In some cases, the career and position itself can bring out the potential of the employees and give them meaning and joy.

Listen to the Sound of happiness: happiness does not depend on what we get or where we are, but on what perspective we choose to look at life. Changes in belief can make a huge difference, and it's easier to find happiness when we focus on happiness.

Three questions: 1 What does it mean to me? What gives me a sense of purpose? 2. What do I think is the happiest thing? What can bring me happiness? Question three: What is my advantage? What am I good at doing?

Reshape your work: Describe your daily activities and fill them in the third chapter of your Life path contact schedule. When you look at them, ask yourself two questions, can you change some of the regular content in your work, add work that makes you feel meaningful and happy, and replace those tasks that don't inspire your passion? Whether you can make a change or not, ask yourself what part of your current job violates the potential meaning and joy of exploration. Based on the above two questions, we can change the job description to a mission description, re-describe our current work, objectively discover and document the potential meaning and happiness of the job, the way we look at the work and the way we introduce ourselves to others can greatly affect our experience.

The eighth chapter on the close relationship of managing happiness

Unconditional love: To think that love is a simple feeling, an emotion or an idea that doesn't need a reason is not tenable. Without the foundation of reason, love cannot be perpetuated, just as the emotion of pleasure is not enough to bring true happiness. If he is feeling love, then he must be loved for some reason, and these reasons are not necessarily recognized, and may never be clearly explained, but they certainly exist. All the questions depend on what we love is not the core value of this person.

Core value: The core value refers to our deepest and most true special habits, that is, our individuality.

Create a happy circle: if someone really loves me, then he must want me to show my core value, only in this way can better technique my potential and value.

Love and Sacrifice: When we love someone, we feel that helping each other is also helping ourselves. When it is difficult to tell whether a choice is a sacrifice or a contribution to the growth of both sides, the only way to discriminate is to measure everything in the relationship with the happiness of both sides. The relationship between the two is actually another form of ultimate wealth, and a happy transaction is a successful one only if both parties benefit. When two people feel fair, both sides will be more satisfied, and the relationship is relatively easy to maintain.

Understanding is the foundation of love: Two of people familiar with each other when a double-edged sword, on the one hand will make the freshness of the lower, on the other hand, familiar with your partner, really to know him, will bring more intense intimacy, in this way, can make love better growth, but also bring more harmonious sex life. Deep self-exploration is a necessary condition for maintaining love and passion. We must open our hearts and share with our partners our deepest needs and fears, even fantasies of sex and dreams of life. In addition to making partners aware of their own efforts, but also to try to really understand each other. Understanding each other is a lifetime thing, we can always find and find more, so the relationship will become interesting, stimulating and growing.

Love with Heart: One of the reasons for the breakdown of intimacy is that people are mistaken for a very important first step in finding the right partner, and then the first element of a happy marriage and the most challenging thing is not to find the right person, but a close relationship that you run with your heart. It is easy to make two people overlook the importance of future journeys by finding true love as a false notion of eternal happiness.

Thanksgiving letter: Develop the habit of writing Thanksgiving letters to people you care about, which represents the meaning and happiness you gain in relationships with others, such as the happy times you spend together, and the goals and dreams that two people share.

Gestalt exercise: Love represents ... Love means ... To be a better friend ... To be a better lover ... In my love, if you increase the happiness of 5% ... In my friendship, if you want to increase the happiness of 5% ... If you want to bring love to my life ... I began to find out slowly ... If I can be more responsible for my own needs ... If I can calm down, to feel the feeling of love ...

The Nineth chapter of the Happy soil: the heart of kindness

The best compensation in life is that no one in the world can help others in spite of their own circumstances. Self-help is inseparable from helping others, the more the more people, the happier they are, the more happy they are, the easier it is to help others.

Help people and self-help: to bring happiness to others, is to bring a meaning and happiness for themselves, which is why willing to help people is a great factor in a happy life. Positive emotions can make our horizons more open. Some people cling to the moral responsibility, always in the sacrifice to find the moral meaning of life, however, the sacrifice itself is not happy, so the moral sense of responsibility slowly make the joy and meaning opposite. Happiness is not a sacrifice, nor is it a two choice in the present and the future. It is neither pure meaning nor pure pleasure, neither the focus on oneself nor the unreserved devotion of others, he is all the elements that bring us happiness, the result of harmonious symbiosis.

Compassionate meditation: Go into the second chapter of meditation practice and think about the experiences you have had with others and the sense of accomplishment that arises from it. Imagine a future, such as sharing happiness with friends, buying flowers for your loved ones, reading to your children, or donating to groups you trust. Experience the depth of happiness you can feel in every experience.

Tenth happiness of fertilizer: Happiness catalyst

The pursuit of self-fulfilling goals, engaging in meaningful things for themselves, will also affect other areas of life that are not directly related. The act of meaning and pleasure, like a candle in a dark room, can light the whole house with just one.

Cultivate good habits: even if we are aware of the need for change, it is difficult to get rid of old habits. Starting from a small thing is much less resistance than a drastic change. The best way to rest is to complete a pleasant task.

Enlarge happiness: Make a list of happiness catalysts by the week, then follow the above and see if these things can be your motivation to change your life. In addition, it is best to develop these activities into habit.

The 11th Chapter Happiness root: Happiness depth

Happiness is largely determined by three factors: genetic genetics, the environmental factors associated with happiness, and activities that can help us achieve happiness.

Savor life: Usually the conclusion is merely a vague, approximate representation, which does not necessarily mean the fact that there is a certain existence of universality, but is often the exception of those that are usually outside the scope of the path of truth and light. Most people do not have the potential to pursue happiness, mainly because of improper use of time. Our pursuit of happiness should be a never-ending, continuous harvest and growth process, we can get the happiness is unlimited.

Appreciation: You can do this exercise yourself, but it is best to drink a companion or a group, and everyone takes turns speaking, saying what has made you feel happy, and carefully elaborated, is it the thing itself or the common experience you have with others in which you feel happy? Is it because it gives you a challenge or do you see something magical? Finally, ask yourself how you can use what you have learned to enlighten your future. Write down a promise that will make you happier and share it with others.

12th Chapter Happy sunshine: The inner strength

For most people, how happy they are when they decide how happy they are. We are afraid of losing, but lead to real loss, we feel that we do not deserve happiness will be really unhappy. We are worried about the worst, so we have eliminated the best in the first place.

Accept yourself fully: a happy life needs the support of intrinsic values, and to find value, one must believe that they are entitled to this value. The intrinsic sense of value is an attitude of acceptance, an attitude of accepting happiness.

Gestalt exercises, across the obstacles of happiness: the thing that hinders my pursuit of happiness is ... If we can realize more deeply that we are entitled to happiness ... If I refuse to live with someone else's values ... If I succeed ... If I allow myself to be happy ... When I am satisfied with myself ... To bring more happiness to my life ... I began to find out gradually ...

13th Chapter Happy growth: The wisdom of the Mind

Ask yourself: More than 110-year-olds have the wisdom that we have when we are 50 or 20 years old, and the key is whether we can be aware of it. We have knowledge of how to live happily ever after, and we have neglected or not realized it at all.

The inner Sage's advice: Imagine that you are 110 years old and give yourself 5 minutes to tell yourself how you can have more happiness in your life. Write down the answers and put them into action as much as you can.

14th Chapter Enjoy the flowers of happiness: calm and calm

We are too busy, always want to do more things in less time, the consequence is that we forget about the things around us and the wealth of the Thanksgiving, forget to enjoy them. In this fast-paced, busy world, how can we enjoy life? The bad news is that there is no pattern in the world, and we can only simplify our lives and slow ourselves down; The good news is that simplifying the slow down and slowing down will not affect our success.

Simplicity is happiness: wealth in time can bring more happiness to people than material wealth. One of the best ways to improve our happiness is to simplify life. Doing less does not mean doing poorly. Success and happiness can coexist. Although time pressure can make people do more, it may make them feel more creative, but in fact, the level of creativity under pressure is relatively low. Time pressure brings frustration, and when we feel frustrated or experience other negative emotions, our thinking becomes narrow, short-sighted, small, and less creative. "Stress hangover", the impaired creativity is still retained after the pressure, and even penetrate into the future life.

Simplification: Go back to Chapter Three's life map, write down what you did in the last two weeks, and then answer the question: Where can I simplify? What can I give up? Do I spend too much time surfing the internet or watching TV? Can I reduce the meetings at work or shorten the meeting time? Can I say something that is not right? Make plans to reduce excessive busyness.

The 15th chapter on the principle of happiness

Happiness is to regard happiness as the ultimate wealth and the ultimate goal of all goals. When our goal is to pursue meaning and happiness, rather than how to earn more money to release a greater reputation, we can naturally get more from the journey of life. The understanding of happiness leads us to think about the question: "What makes sense to me?" "What can bring Me joy?" "What's my advantage?"

The achievement of a happy society: if the concept of happiness is recognized, the sense of extreme personal and social level will be greatly reduced, the individual and the world will reduce the number of disputes, the suppression of individual and national disputes. A candle can ignite 1000 candles, and its own life will not be affected, and happiness will not be weakened by being shared.

Resolve conflicts: Imagine a clash with others and see the ultimate wealth that is being stripped of you and each other. Think about it, is it worth it? If it is not worth it, think about whether there is a way to solve the problem, a solution that can bring happiness to you and your partner.

Conclusion

When people find that the theory is difficult to apply to the reality, the general will choose to give up. But strangely, people can be desperate for material, in the pursuit of happiness in the process can easily give up. If we want to get happiness, we can only work hard, not happy is also very simple, but to be happy there is no quick way.

What else to wait for: instead of letting yourself be bound by the past, we might as well learn to cherish every minute of the moment. Things outside are not unimportant, but they cannot make us truly happy.

From now on: a common misconception about happiness is that they always feel that something can ultimately change their sense of well-being, but there are things that can actually bring us a lot of happiness, but they are not permanent. Any happy life is not the result of a major thing, happy life is accumulated, whether it is the unforgettable experience or a bit by bit of the moment.

The way to Happiness