To the leftover male

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I am also a leftover girl. I write this article to myself and to the other single people like me.

A girlfriend called last week and said, ** introduce a boyfriend to you. When I heard it, I was very happy, because it showed that this girlfriend missed me and listened to her breath. It was always happy to be cared for by friends because she was not busy with outsiders. At the same time, I am also hesitant to accept it, because my intuition tells me that this is basically not successful. Why? Because I know myself, I am a person with a long history, and I have no experience in dating, introduction, and so on. It's really hard for me to have a cup of coffee for dinner, so it's actually like this, as a result, many blind dates are friendly talks, and no more. Some of the two sides feel pretty good, but because of their strangeness and lack of familiarity with the future, no one is willing to easily extend an olive branch first, and it will be gone. What is sequelae? The sequent effect is that everyone is worried about it. I have no confidence in myself and feel that I am not doing well. Or is there anyone in the world waiting for me. Then there is pessimism. Pessimistic about feelings about marriage and the future.

This man introduced me to write this article. He called him Jack. (I saw Yue Guang Bao box yesterday and remembered the scene where Sun Li shouted Zheng zhongji Jack, I just want to laugh. It is necessary to have a comedy ). We added MSN to each other without knowing the background of the other party. Then I chatted a few words, but Jack suddenly asked me if your friend introduced me to many people. I said no, but she was surprised to introduce me to me. Jack said that he was quite pessimistic. He thought it was too difficult to fall in love. He always met each other. The people he could see could not see him, I always pick it up and feel that there is no hope. I think Jack is telling the truth, and he is also very honest. So I forgot that I am also the target of his blind date, and encouraged him to say: Don't be pessimistic! Believe that there is always a person in the world who is right for you, waiting for you.

I am very sincere when talking about this. I don't know if he can feel my sincerity. I felt that his energy was insufficient and I really wanted to pass his energy to him, but I knew that he could not be given any energy if he just encouraged me. For him, I am just a stranger. I suddenly heard from him a lot of recent experiences, but I guess he will be scared by a long article on MSN. As a result, I decided to write it down, hoping to clear my own ideas and give some inspiration to other single men and women.

1. Not a family. What kind of person are you? You are looking for your kind.

A few years ago, I had a female colleague who spoke in a very high profile, so we were very familiar with her family outlook on life. What I do not agree with is that she treats her mother-in-law and mother-in-law differently. She is simply a filial daughter and a savvy evil daughter-in-law. Her description of her husband is very enviable. I listened and often thought: how can she find such a good husband? Unfair. One day, our colleagues gathered together and her husband came to join us. When she talked about the differences between her mother-in-law and her mother-in-law at the dinner table, her husband was not so disgusted, so she was not able to give full play to her. I suddenly put a black flag on her husband's quality and taste, and I think this man is not only superior, it is also a waste of people.

Afterwards, I chatted with the leaders I liked. The leaders told me: Why are you surprised? In fact, you should guess which type of person her husband is without seeing her husband! Remember, not a family, not a family. They can share their lives with others. She does. Do you expect her husband to be a man of justice? How can she be so arrogant if her husband is not just a man?

I suddenly realized. Oh, originally, this is the so-called "door-to-door ". There is no common outlook on life and values, and there is no common style of dealing with people.

Therefore, when looking for a partner in life, we often put the conditions above. It is often found that, even if the conditions are met, they still cannot come together. Why? Because you are not a type of person.

Jack told me that he thought he was a non-typical Shanghai man and he realized that he was hard to get along with a typical Shanghai woman. In fact, he is expressing this problem. Of course, this sentence contains too many implicit meanings. For example, what is the typical meaning of Shanghai men? What is a typical Shanghai woman? If he cannot get along with a typical person, what kind of model does he want? All these questions have been clarified, so it is easier for him to choose a mate. It won't be difficult. Why can't I see girls with such good conditions? How nice it would be if it could be.

This also happens to me, because I very much hope that I can enter the marriage to form a family early. A qualified man once expressed his liking to me and hoped to get married soon. My eyes are bright, I think, sorry, the conditions are good! But there are still one hundred errors in my mind. At one time, I was very conflicted. I thought: Come on! Don't bother! The hardware conditions are met, right? Let's talk about it! Close it! What do you want? You are not young. You cannot pick any more. Now I suddenly became clear. It wasn't about me, but about his style, not my appreciation and acceptance. This basically loses the emotional foundation.

So let's leave the hardware alone. Oh, no, the hardware is still to be discussed. When the hardware is not too far away, I think the two sides should first introduce their own growth experiences, their feelings for their parents, and their living habits, and a yearning for the future life blueprint. This is a bit vague. In short, we need to understand the principles of each other.

Here, we still need to mention the hardware. The attitude of both parties towards hardware is, in fact, a good trade-off opportunity for similar people. Some people are very harsh on hardware conditions, so let alone others. Some people set a baseline for hardware conditions, not lower than what they do. Now it seems that not only are female demanding male, but male also asking for female. Therefore, we can weigh the values of both parties. Finally, these people will find the other half, and I believe they will also be seated.

I don't think you have to pretend. Pretend to be the killer of untuned results. It is easier to find out your own real ideas. If you think the hardware is important, don't think it's a pity. If you think people are important, don't think it's a little less money. Tangle, that is, they don't know their own needs.

 

2. Find someone who truly appreciates you, tolerates you, and accepts you.

Sorry, this is not a must. This is my spouse's view. It's a bit difficult. When we see it, we can stop it. I will talk about my own ideas later.

I think both men and women are the same. You need to find one that appreciates your other half, not because you have good conditions. When you get older, it's okay! If this is the reason, something will happen sooner or later. This issue may not be due to divorce, but may make your marriage worse and unhappy. In this way, the sentence will be answered, and it is very miserable.

What do you like? In fact, it is not necessarily an outstanding quality. In this world, there are many people and many common people. So many excellent qualities are deeply admired and seldom seen. However, this kind of appreciation is essential from the heart. Like some men who are very honest and stupid, and a woman who loves this man, I feel that although he is not humorous, he can say that he is very honest and can rest assured. OK. This is an appreciation. The same dish has different values in different eyes. 1. We need to know what dish we are. For example, if we are a dish of mushrooms and cabbage, then we must know that we are a dish of vegetables. 2. We need to find someone who likes to eat vegetarian food. This is suitable. If we like green peppers and beef willows, we must find them. If we don't have them, we should at least find a braised beef dish, don't let me complain. Just look for the Bitter Gourd. The Bitter Gourd is very refreshing, and it may be bitter in the future.

You may be less profitable and less diligent in housework, but you are very honest and nice to your friends and family. This is your Value Point. You need to know that women who can make money usually have a bad temper and their family relationship is easy to get worse. Don't compare your ability to make money with her. When you are dating, you must emphasize that you are easygoing and never like to quarrel. People who know your value will naturally appreciate you. If you make less money, you may not be one of them. It is a pity that he did not pay attention to your value!

When both parties know each other's value points, they will feel cherished. That's not the case.

 

3. Sincere dating and sincere co-occurrence

Unfortunately, when we are not careful, we are not a big boss. We have no good ownership for the moment in terms of feelings. So we are called leftover male. Some siblings experienced a frustrated marriage and returned to the single team. In any case, we are no longer 18 or 19 years old. So, I have a headache myself. That is, be tempted.

When you think about it, you can see your favorite objects, such as deer, blushing face, incoherent speech, and sweet heart. Some of those years seem to be gone forever. Now, at least, it's hard for us to have that kind of pure thinking. If you still have it, congratulations, it's actually a very happy thing and it's not easy. But it is still necessary to return to reality.

You cannot refuse to start because it is not easy. Otherwise, we may be at the age of Langfang dream, and there is still no nominal partner. We don't want that. After all, a single life is incomplete and cruel to ourselves.

Then, treat it with sincerity. Every one of us may become our partners. If you don't feel so appropriate, tell the other party earlier and recommend the person you think is more suitable for you, if you have a suitable person to recommend. If the two sides are talking about each other for the first time, they can give the other party a chance to get along. What a good thing if they can make a spark. My advice is, don't think too early about the room and car. If this person fits in with you, there will be a future. Of course, if you have nothing, it will be difficult. It's hard for you to let others look at you. It's hard for you to look at the future of others and share the future with others. If you really have nothing, what you need to do first is not a blind date, but a raw accumulation. Otherwise, as I said, it is not a family that does not come into the door and is suitable for you, there may be only one person with nothing left.

Try to stop it. Too many blind dates. In fact, the whole atmosphere is broken. It is a waste of time because we do not expect a blind date. Except for some people, it is really not the same way, and you don't want to talk to him any more. Otherwise, you can all be friends. After all, a blind date can be arranged. Is it a fate?

 

4. Do not be discouraged and keep the open state

Left behind, does not mean poor. Looking at the leftover male and female around you, we will find that there are many outstanding siblings. What is lacking is just the skills to establish a relationship with some intimacy. Don't be discouraged. If you think you can't find someone in your life that suits you, then... Of course I cannot find it. Because you will be ill and eager to go to medicine, the food you pick into the basin is food.

Keep the open state. When you are a person, it's a good time. In this way, when two people are there, they will not be the burden of another person, but the partner of another person. Two talents can create a better quality life.

Therefore, please be sincere and relax during the blind date. Introduce yourself to others more realistically. Everyone wants to be attracted and to attract others. What is the attraction?
For example, I know that I am not the first or second-eye beauty. I have a value for optimism and a rational temper. I believe someone will really appreciate this and cherish me. I can only sigh for the impetuous fast-moving ones.

 

I often think that many leftover male and female have their own beliefs that support the fact that they do not easily enter marriage. It is precisely the emphasis on marriage, as well as the expectation of "holding the child and holding the old child" that they will pay more attention to. Who is the person who can join hands. Therefore, this is an outstanding belief. But God, let them discover their other half earlier. Everyone should wake up!
I hope that everyone can bring their own signals out so that people in the world can recognize them early. I wish everyone who has hope for life a beautiful life.