Why do you have to be more careful, the more you become a fart?

1

Before, I read an article.

The author tells a story about her study in France.

At that time, she went to buy trousers, walked to a shop, picked up a pair of trousers timidly asked the clerk: "Can I try it on?" ”。

The clerk was quite contemptuous, and said: "Yes." ”

She tried to find that does not fit, then went to take the big one, again ask can try to wear, the clerk at this time has been super impatient: "Yes!" ”

The results still don't fit.

When she picked up the big one again and tried to wear it, the clerk took it and pointed to her and said, "You can't try it again!" ”

She was in a cold sweat and just want to get into the seam, to cover up the embarrassment had to buy a very expensive necklace, resulting in the result is, after one months she can only chew dry bread.

In fact, what happened to the students in France also happened to me.

That year, I was very young, ran to the next bedroom to borrow "thermos bottle heater."

I am optimistic that everyone is a warm-hearted good classmate, to help a busy is only a small case.

I forgot that I hardly ever talked to them, and I had a deep friendship with my classmates.

I pushed away the door of their bedroom, a glance to see everyone is on the alert to look at me, I suddenly overwhelmed, all of a sudden nervous, the voice of speech became thin and small: can I borrow your bedroom "thermos bottle heater"?

No one to talk to me, they all looked at me in amazement.

I was even more embarrassed.

Finally, several students shook their heads coldly.

I felt so humiliated that they ran away as soon as they had finished shaking.

Back after I was very depressed, I think it is to borrow a "thermos bottle heater", it is not to ask them for help, not to ask them to loose money, as for posing a high attitude?

So I came to the conclusion: their character is too bad!

Later, when I accumulated some experience in the community, and then back to the original things, I know, sometimes, others put on a high-up posture, is really not the fault of others.

But you, first put yourself in a low posture.

Although I can not see the original appearance, but must be a timid, awkward and unnatural expression.

It is no wonder that others look at you with cold and strange eyes.

文初you The French students, also later understand, why others can keep trying to wear, and she is to be despised by the clerk.

Because of her timid attitude, as well as her lack of attention to herself, are telling the clerk: "You can bully me!" ”

2

Life often has such a kind of people, they are very good, the character is not bad.

They are also very clever, always laborious mind, careful, try to guess the meaning of each other words, to keep their words, will not offend everyone. Every wrong word, will make them annoyed for a long time, remorse for a long time.

They are also very polite, see everyone warmly greeted, others also reported with a smile, it seems to be mixed well. But in fact, nodding acquaintance, is already the limit of their relationship with others.

Although they often make themselves tired in order to consider each person's feelings, the result is always RUOYOURUOWU, isolated and aloof by the group in which they live.

It is like an invisible wall that blocks the development of their relationship with others more closely.

So, within a group, often, everyone else is already in a certain depth, and they are still on the nodding acquaintance with everyone.

They were so upset that they didn't know what was wrong.

Speaking of which, I think it is necessary to talk about my mother.

My mother is a social person.

Mixed up in real life.

I picked her up from my hometown two years ago, but now she is much more familiar with the city than I am, and I am much more connected in this city.

If I go out now, I will rely on her for directions.

No matter how remote I say the place, she is a face cloud light breeze: Oh, xxx, last time I and X elder sister, you go where on to.

I have lived in this city for ten years, and now she is a city man, I am a migrant working girl.

People are always sending gifts to my house.

Today is Zhang elder sister sent my home yak meat, tomorrow is Lijie sent my car to Bali son, the day after next is Roche bring up two basket of earth eggs ...

The point is, my mother is neither local tyrants, nor in high position, she is an ordinary middle-aged woman, more crucially, I seldom see her send others gifts.

But others are odd, and it's good to think about her.

I always thought her personality charm was a mystery.

Once she consulted her personality charm to develop DAFA.

The result she said: " a person in the group must be a special place, otherwise, how can others remember you?" You can't even remember, how can you like you?

It turns out that my mother, no matter in which group, is always the first to express her opinion, she said that she does not care about whether her opinion has to take into consideration everyone, whether everyone is satisfied, more important than the opinion itself, but to say their own views of this matter.

You are the real person only if you say what you really think.

3

In the movie, there are a lot of actors, they may appear the frequency is not low, but, which do you like?

Let us like, let us hate, not always the living protagonist and the big villain?

Why are we impressed with them? Why are all the actors blurred?

Because the protagonists are real.

They are real, they have their own distinctive personality.

In life, a person, if because too worried about other people's views, and blurred his personality, then he in the eyes of others, is actually a mass actor.

There is a sentence: how many people hate you, how many people like you.

In other words, no one hates people, certainly no one likes.

Others like you because you have certain qualities that are pleasing to you.

The same people hate you, because some of your qualities make him feel uncomfortable.

Peculiar is, often a person on the same trait, some people just like, some people just hate.

If you are afraid of being hated by others, it also means that you also reject some people's liking.

In fact, you do not need to please others, wear masks.

If you try to be all-encompassing, the result must be blurred.

You blame others to remember you, the presence of low, then you have to think, you have to let others remember the characteristics?

You hid yourself in a thick mask, so you're floating like a phantom, dispensable.

You're trying to make everyone happy, but it's a little ineffective.

Because in this world, no matter what you do, there will always be people dissatisfied.

Just like we're writing articles, you write chicken soup, some people say you kitsch, you write dry goods, some people say you are boring, you write fantasy net text, some people say you low-level, you write serious literature, some people say you are old-fashioned, you grounding gas a little, some people say you like a female rascal, you are a little green, some people say you are bored.

You see, there is always someone dissatisfied.

Then why do you make yourself so humble for the sake of others ' eyes?

To please others, to cater to others, others will like you?

The truth is: The more careful you are, the more you will be treated as a fart!

You lower yourself, raise the others, they can not see you, how to talk like you ah?

Like the 文初you of the French students and students of my time, why so timid? Isn't it because we care too much about what others see?

We are afraid to speak too loudly, posture too arrogant, will make the other side dislike.

As a result, we emphasize our respect for each other through our body language and speaking voice.

However, too much respect, it becomes humility, at this time, we have placed the other side of the exaggerated high, he ignored or even despise us, it is not surprising.

So, you are very good, you are not bad, you are very clever. Then don't waste your intelligence on everything, you're not the renminbi.

Put your character in good faith to show out, the magnanimous swing to do their own, not afraid of offending people, nature can win some of the love and respect. As for those who do not like you, why waste your energy to dump them?

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Why do you have to be more careful, the more you become a fart?