Why do you work so hard, but you can't see the results?

Some readers ask me, she is very introverted, envy those social person, how to do?

I want to talk about my experience.

Previously, I was also an introvert, not talkative, like solitude.

I have never done well in the matter of "loving the collective". High school, I cut off collective activities, the class teacher to talk to me, accusing me of a "no collective sense of honor" person. Be forced to participate in activities, others laugh and laughter, but I always feel that melts do not go in.

Yes, I'm not sociable, "not gregarious," and interacting with others consumes my energy.

In the debate class at the university, other students talked about politics and human rights in English, and when it was my turn to be a defense, I was always so nervous that I could not enjoy the fun of the debate at all. While others were talking in high spirits, I looked at a wave of visitors from the outside of the capsule, hoping that the bell would ring quickly and end the ordeal.

I am clumsy, not good at expression, in the face of a person, a group of people, I often do not know what to say.

The man in the school kindly advised me, "You are not so good" "you have to be gregarious" "you have to learn to talk."

I also want to change.

So, I saw a lot of interpersonal communication books, "Communication Power" "to persuade you in fact very simple" and so on, eager to be like Carnegie's characters, through hard training, from a person who is extremely afraid to speak, turned to thousands of people talk about the master speech.

And then what?

--I'm sorry, it didn't happen what you were looking for, and I ended up not being a social star or speaking person.

The methods in those books are really useful, and after a conscious study, I can speak freely, and if I keep working hard, maybe I can "look" good at socializing.

But, I stopped.

Because, I found, for speech and social, I am not "good". Qinnengbuzhuo is feasible, just to achieve the same effect, I always have to pay more times than others.

Some friends organized a party, I was reluctant to go, but tried to persuade myself to participate. I tell myself that socializing can improve communication skills and make more friends.

Food, alcohol, candlelight, movies, full of tired laughter.

After a party, people feel like they're having a good time, but I feel exhausted.

One day, I asked myself: Why do I have to force myself to be a social person if I know that I am not an extrovert? Spend time in communication with people, I can clearly be a person to do some of their own more like, more good things ah. Later, I no longer aspire to become ingenuity. I finally realized that it was not the right way for me.

I'm happy to push off the parties that have made me feel tired and spend more time in the fields I like, reading and writing.

Next, luck ensued. I am good at using words to express themselves, in the online writing of just three months, I became a Pinterest contract author, wrote a few micro-blog forwarding 100,000, read millions of articles, fast 20 book companies to find Me out of books, the public number and micro-blog add up 70,000 people pay attention to. Everything came effortlessly.

I realized: At the same time, you may only be mediocre when you're not good at it, but if you spend it on something you're good at, you'll probably be a leader already.

There is a short board theory, said the water is made of wooden barrels by a lot of pieces of wood hoop, the amount of water is also determined by these boards together. If one piece of wood is short, the amount of water is limited by the short plate.

I think this theory makes a lot of people suffer deeply--too many people, trying to do things they are not good at, wasting a lot of energy, but only a full of frustration.

Not long ago, a little girl left me a message. She said she was in the Olympic training class, the daily status of the Cup is never short of coffee, write no question can not help crying aloud.

She took 20 minutes to do the wrong thing, the other girl wrote it in five minutes, and a boy had already taught himself the chemistry of high school. She could not understand the content of other people's discussion.

Really good distressed by this little girl. If you are not good and do not love, do not force yourself to learn Olympic Games ah. Spend your time in areas that you are good at and like, photography, playing the piano, and even anime, and maybe you will live happier and get a sense of accomplishment, perhaps more than today.

There is also a younger brother, clearly is the most hated mathematics, but for the expectations of parents, learned that is said to be very well-paid statistics major. To learn the pain not to say, but also to his despair, no matter how hard he tried, can not catch up with those who are interested in mathematics, the great gods who have a soft and full performance.

Other people's bright road, perhaps for you is a dead end.

Don't always want to take the road of others, you really should go, is the right way for you.

Some people may be confused, how to find their own suitable path?

I have two suggestions: first of all, to see what is normal, it is easier for you to do better than others, or what is to keep you bored, and second, ask your friends, your advantage where.

The ancients had the words, "The crane is good dance but can not plough, New Shanko but can not dance, physical nature is also".

Some people succeed not because he works harder than you, but because he does what he is good at.

If you always spend a lot of time on things that do not work, then you are likely to be eating unnecessary suffering.

Put these efforts into the area you are really good at, and you may have done it already.

You try so hard, but you can't see the result, it's probably because you didn't choose the right field.

Compared to the short board theory, I believe that: there is no need to devote energy to make up the short board, in fact, as long as you are good at doing things well, it has been very powerful. That's the way that really suits you.

People, the end of their life, is looking for a way to their own.

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Why do you work so hard, but you can't see the results?