To grow, don't be so desperate

More than 20-year-old you are confused and anxious. If you want both a house and a car, you want to travel and enjoy life. You are so young but in vain to get the whole world, you are so impetuous but feel that you can see through life. You keep urging yourself to grow up quickly, but not sinking heart to go quietly to see a good article; you blew your horn again and again, but it was not far from the starting point. Do you think that the growth is really as urgent as you think?

No, don't worry.

When I was on a business trip in Nanjing last week, I dragged my tired to meet my friends in the middle of the night and talked until two o'clock in the morning. When I returned to the hotel has been nearly three points, but the roommate's colleagues did not sleep, he lit a cigarette, where the 65-storey sights night in a daze. He is not a talkative person, bald, an artist's appearance, and his local temperament has a natural indifference, we have previously intercourse is nothing more than official business, but not many words. But do not know how the two people mentioned today's young people's mentality and choice, unexpectedly also chatted up, and then can not hold.

He came out of the 18-year-old, did not go to college, 38 years old this year, is a well-known magazine design director. If this is a cliché inspirational story, I may not be interested in listening to it anymore. But he said, "I don't know what your generation is thinking, I'm disgusted with the distinction and labeling of a few 0 after 0, and I can't talk to many of my peers." People rely on value to identify with each other, not age. Now your generation seems to be in a hurry, the house, the car, the tickets, but it's your peers, not all of them. I nodded. He continued, "in fact, every generation has its own depression, really, it is so come." I had my own house two years ago and my son was two years old this year. I think everything is fine. When I was 25 years old, I worked in a system unit, I had seven or eight years of working experience, I couldn't stay, I had to go. The leader invited me to drink. He choked a glass of wine, told me, you are still young, don't think so much, don't worry, do what should be done. In this sentence, I enjoy so far. When I was young, I loved to play and impetuous, and there were all kinds of temptations coming over me. I remember leader this sentence, others do not want to do their own thing, flash eyes on the present. He continued, "You have to say that struggle or something, I have never, is a step by step." The house, the car these things, really, as long as you are not stupid, steadfast do the thing, to the time will have, impossible not. Don't think about it. Don't worry about what other people do, trust your own judgment. Hold on, take it slow.

He said, hold on, take it slow.

One months ago, I had just come and carried home more than 10 magazines. Hurriedly turned over, despair into the sofa, to send a text message to the teacher: when the article can write four major editorial Ah? The gap is not the slightest bit. He's back, don't worry, you're young. I said, I am 24 years old, and I can see no hope. He returned, only 24 years old. Our youngest is in our early 30, don't worry.

24 years old. He even said two times, don't worry.

Li Huilai in time as a friend, we always expect too much from short-term gains, but expect too much from long-term earnings.

He speaks English and life.

Anyway, it's still urgent.

Second, "Famous to be early", how many people killed

Some people say, you want to be what kind of person, go to that person side. Not everyone has such luck, but it's not just a career, it's a matter of life wisdom. People tend to magnify immediate pain or achievement, communicate with older but enlightened seniors, and they'll know what you're going through, and now you're just a screw, and maybe they've had a sadness.

At the age of 18-23 years old, I was a good-for-no love to read the biographies of celebrities. Every one who knows a admiration, envy, envy and hate, goes to search for his experience--a few years old Master's degree? When did you finish the doctor? How old are you when you reach today's achievement?

Age, age, age, that's a kind of anxiety about time. Zhang ailing a "famous to be early", the harm did not know how many people. I resent success because it is obvious that not everyone can succeed, but I am sure I am one of the lucky ones. I am ambitious and energetic; elated by his superiority in appearance and talent; I think about all the serious topics, reading books related to the mysteries of the world, and paying tribute to the vast civilizations of the ages; I expect people to read my words in their publications and talk about my name in the media; I aspire to fame, Money, the beautiful girl's long hair, I repeatedly read Xu Zhiyuan "Those sad young man", for another equally proud soul and excited.

But I'm only 20 years old.

All the celebrity books and lectures tell me that one needs to know what he wants before he can do something. Today, countless peer articles, micro-blogs, in the popular publication, but also flooded with similar views, and even has become a means of anti-success, with a natural "correctness" of the word, greatly affected by "independent thinking" of young people agree.

But what do you ask a young man who has just left the mechanical boring high school life, who is beginning to know about the world and life? He wanted excellent results, a reputation among his classmates, a beautiful girlfriend, and he wanted to find an enviable job after graduation, earning money, fame and success as soon as possible.

Some people ask, is this a problem? Admittedly, this is "What I want", but it's just a patterned line of water that tries to burnish all the young people into the same faces. "What you want" should not only concern the secular profession, fame, it should be a deeper proposition, the struggle and exploration of the people themselves, namely-who am I?

Who are you? Want to take all the university scholarship, want to live a material life, want to get a well-paid position, want to have a set of own house in Beijing four ring ... Noooo ... Who are you?

Why did the guy who was willing to paint on all possible objects go to work as a company employee just because everyone said there was no stability in the life of a freelance painter?

Why that determined "the iron shoulder to bear the moral, the hand hand article" The girl, entered the state-owned enterprise, only because the parents well-meaning advice, the reporter income is not as high as the state-owned enterprises?

Who are you? I mean, stripping away all the positions and shackles that are assigned to you, separating all the parents from their elders trying to sway you, interfering with your voice, forgetting all the mass media, celebrity celebrities, and the value judgments that the publications once exported to you, who are you? Who is that thump-thump----------he, she, it--inside your shell?

What are you going to do about it?

The age of 20 years old, do not know what they want, not only is not a disaster, but may be a blessing.

But you must be hazy about who you are and what you are interested in. If you don't know it, it's a disaster.

If you know what you're interested in, just do it a little bit. No matter how many voices try to reverse you, say you love, fascinated by this thing, no money, no future, no development, no, no, please leisurely to him (she) said: Fuck Off,this is my own life.

Not why, because love. Love is hard to buy.

I have sent some articles that I have written over the years to the teacher. He was delighted, replying, saying that it would be better to speak more quietly, but write it slowly. He did not say that you have to work hard in writing, and become a famous journalist and writer someday. I know what he means: if you like it, do it slowly.

It doesn't matter where you go.

Third, why let life "prison"

My friend asked me, do you want to be a good journalist? I said, I don't know. He was surprised that you are not a mixed media circle? I am also surprised at the age of 20 years old to give their own life the next definition? The definition is the yoke, the prison. Shouldn't this age be doing everything possible to stretch your tentacles, to touch different, pluralistic things, to perceive and observe the rich, limitless possibilities of the world?

A definition, which closes the door of possibility. How do you know you're not going to come across something more curious and hyperactive? You're more than 20 years old, more than 20 years old, more than 20 years old. Why can't I be a professional traveler? Why can't I do NGO? Why not in the code a few years after the word, suddenly fascinated by photography? Why not?

The advantage of reading a biography of celebrities is that they can refer to their own life at a critical moment in their lives, while negative effects can be more lethal-"from an early age to be a ...".

If you look back at your resume and spend some thought, you will see a seemingly clear track and route, and then "suddenly realize": I just follow this path step-by-step, originally I want to be such a person from the beginning. If you have written the PS of the application school, you may have a similar experience. However, this may be a very deceptive "illusion"-looking back to the past resumes will inevitably be summed up, categorized, to carry out a main line is not difficult. It is likely that you did not want to be such a person from the beginning, even do not know how you want to go, just a daze, follow the interest came.

Yes, it is interest, not planning-"from an early age to do a ...".

If in the future I became an electric play, I can also fondly review in the biography "I was determined to be a professional video game player," because I started playing video games at the age of 4.

Mo Forget, Fengtang Young is a poet, literature and art youth, then repaired the Doctor of gynaecology, and then did the consulting company, and now do the industry.

Don't forget, Lao Luo until 27 years old, still think oneself lifelong with "teacher" and "English" these two words insulation.

I have been on the "planning" of the word holding alert, the so-called career planning, life planning, the crowd.

Life depends on perception, how to plan it? Career depends on opportunity and groping, how to design? and the success of planning is nonsense. When Mr. Picture's 28-year-old boarded a plane to America, how did he plan to become a scholar and celebrity in his life to speak to the public sphere? He just like painting, painting, a pen painting; Qin teacher 15 years old to jump in line when the countryside, think oneself this life treats the countryside, how to "aspire to become the benchmark of Chinese thinkers"? He just likes reading. , studying, reading a book.

If I had the chance to be invited to a lecture at the age of forty or fifty, it would have to be called "My Life Without a plan"; then I'm going to blow up my grandson and talk about "life without planning."

Four, no one has the right to tell you how to live

If you are a frequent participant in the Chinese mainland's ideological and humanities salon, oh no, or a popular celebrity lecture. You can hardly miss a question in the question, "xx teacher Hello, what do you think of contemporary young people and suggestions?"

According to some speakers, this is almost the most annoying and unanimous problem. It may be hard for the questioner to realize that this foolish question lurks in an imperceptible psychological cause: Tell us how to be successful and get ahead, as you do.

What else? As one scholar put it, a young man implored an old thing to teach himself how to face the New world. Is it absurd? The teacher said, "Why do you want to do it?" You were born in a time when you were free to choose, but you wanted to be taught how to live.

What do you really like to do, how to live do not know? Want to win is afraid to lose. What to do and what way to go, is not to follow the voice of the heart of a step-by-step groping, trying to come out of the wrong? When the fork is gone, it is returned; From time to time stop to think, look at, pondering, and then continue to walk.

How could it not be tumble? How could it be that everything went well? How could there be a Yimapingchuan called "Success" for you to go? How do you know what kind of person you want to get along with?

Just as the teacher wrote to Jia Zhang, "We all have to save ourselves, I am a pen and a pen to draw, Jia Zhang Ke is an inch by inch of film." ”

The choice of young people as the whole country, the portrayal of quick success, "first pollution after governance", first successful growth, first find a job to find interest, first to find themselves. A friend in the workplace complains that he's lost in his job position. I wonder if I'm fit for this job?

I asked, what do you like to do? He chatteration for a long time, can't say.

Some have made it clear that I don't like my job. So should I go to a Latin dance class and get a guitar class?

It is not a big job to engage in a career that is not your own interest. But I realized later that 100 times times more catastrophic than "not being able to do what I love to do" is "I don't know what I like to do".

Huang Lu has a state wrote, "Now think of Chinese parents from small to large indoctrination to read and read the book to read the best read to the doctor and then go to work is to kill people, so it seems to be sinking performance, in fact, the more the more impetuous to study in the back." Gap is a year in gap, and it's easier to find your own life. Life is a process of settling down and hurrying to the degree ladder! "

It reminds me of a story I heard. An Australian who, after graduating from college, has been a journalist for three years on Al Jazeera, traveled to Europe, after running to a philosophy of a master's degree in economics, and went to Africa for two years of volunteer work, and so he and I became the name "Human Rights" master program classmate, already 33 years old. I wonder why he did not continue to read the doctor after he finished his master's. He found a new point of interest in his life and came to read for a year or two, but the degree of interest was not as deep as the doctor's, and the direction of the doctoral study was likely to be a lifelong aspiration, "said the elder sister." So he's 35 years old after graduation. He doesn't seem to be sure. "

This seems to be an unreliable example of the opposite. Just as some old classmates have been impressed by me. They said, envy your colorful life, listen to my recent intention and sympathy of the Tut sigh, then you come back to study how big? 27 years old. Do you still read PhD? When are you going to get married? Who knows, 30 years old? Maybe it's flash when you're studying. You're too much of a deputy, I've been ... How can you find a good job when you come back to study abroad? I said, go abroad is not necessarily to find a better job, currently want to engage in a career not to study abroad can do. What's the point of going abroad?

Personal experience, vision and self-improvement. Look at the bigger world and find more possibilities in yourself.

I didn't say it after all.

Do you want to be happy or "be a big shot"?

Have you ever thought that this life is just a mediocre little people, all the dreams have failed to achieve? This is a very wide network of a post.

I asked everyone in the south wall group. Ma said, no, to tell the truth, we are great people, according to their own pace step by step, not bad.

A friend asked me. If you are a mediocre person after all, those great dreams have not come true, the world has not changed the slightest, will be happy?

I asked, do you have enough food and clothing? He said, that's for sure, it's not that bad. Just say, quite ordinary, probably just a mediocre reporter editor, in the unit does not have a great place, the highest monthly salary is 10,000 up and down, pay for the house, raise children and girls, open a common car. Not painful, but also no luster, life.

Is the room enough for me to put the curtain on the projector to kick the live?

I like football, I like reading, I like everything when I am young.

Sometimes 35 friends, baked beer, wine huan, and then Saturday Sunday, the stadium meet?

Happy.

He looked me in the eye. Happy. I nodded.

Not long ago to travel to the northeast, the road is the deepest feeling of the difference between the guide, the attendant, the salesman. You will easily find that personality distinguishes people from others.

We've met a passionate talker, with everyone to mingle with the guide, also met with a black face like a guest owed her money, not to ask two impatient guide; encountered, such as all common civil servants as vicious as the attendant, also encountered in a uniform in the car with the passengers in the room amused by the attendant.

If you are an ordinary tour guide and flight attendant, what will you do with your guests? Given that this is not the future of dealing with the "one-time", not to mention that very few people really xianxin to complain about your bad service attitude.

Considering that your perfect service attitude will probably not bring you any substantial benefits, in addition to a guest's thanks, a smiley face. Your organization will not be able to notice your "good performance", you will not be promoted, poor performance is difficult to be dismissed-in China, the attitude of the guests to complain about the bad is likely to appeal to the leadership like, more than you promoted faster. You know.

All in all, your service attitude can not bring any visible benefits to your real life, you will be an ordinary tour guide, flight attendant and assistant in this life. What would you do?

Yes, maybe you are a mediocre person all your life, but attitude still brings the moss of quality of life. You love life and work, and sincere perception, understanding, and kindness to others may not bring any tangible rewards or changes to your life, but it softens your boundaries with the heart and the world. You continue to receive positive feedback from other people (Thanks, smiles, goodwill), and then release positive energy to form a virtuous circle.

For a long time I will remember the tour guide, the attendant, the salesperson's enthusiasm, hearty and smiling face. I think it's warm.

They may have been guides, flight attendants, sales assistants in their lifetime, and it's hard to get a promotion, but from their work attitude, I read the real happiness.

Isn't it the best reward to do something you love? Just as writing is the reward of writing, drawing is the reward of painting.

Six, grow up an hour to boil out

I used to like a friend's signature file, "Become a better person".

This sentence unhurriedly but also full of firm words, had countless times to give me strength.

Now, I feel this sentence is full of "higher, faster, stronger" progressive theory of voice, in the overwhelming motivational words, I fell in love with the "destruction of Chi." I prefer to use the word "perception". Perhaps we can not create life, planning life, perhaps, smell, experience, perception, understanding, this is the key to growth?

Be a better person? If today with my mother sitting in the sun chatting for an afternoon day, aimless, childhood, growth, family chores, there is no better person? If today did not read the biography of Wittgenstein, not with the latest South Korean blog, did not refresh Weibo, just to make a delicious meal for themselves, Lying in the arms of lovers in a daze, is not a waste of life?

This generation of Chinese young people may face some paradoxical paradox of their own, on the one hand, we are an unprecedented generation of premature aging, "18-year-old began to old," 20-year-old began to nostalgia, although still in youth, "you love to talk I love to laugh" Time has become a generation of collective homesickness; On the other hand, we desperately want to run forward, want to stabilize , secure life, want to hug a certain feeling, anxious, want to immediately like thirty or forty years old, the car room is not missing, career success.

You, you, you,

Do you really enjoy being young? Why are you still trying to run while you're nostalgic?

You, you, you,

Do you really love adventure and drift? Why the ideal to the stability and the property card to do the cast?

You, you, you,

Do you really cherish the possibility? Why do I see you want to embrace "the end of life" rather than prematurely?

The possibility of a better life is not in this slowly experienced step-by-step, silently perceiving day by day, but in the future of the Grand sketch?

Married, Tim, deputy, a small manager, Ph. D., buy a house to buy a car, walk very fast. I have been anxious, and later found that it is not my rhythm. I'm a slow cow. If the direction is wrong, will be a big circle, if the direction is right, not afraid of slow.

Step by step, one inch, a little, day by day, slowly.

I don't know where I'm going, I'm still looking around, I'm going to stop and touch that and try to feel, observe, and understand the world. Fresh and curious. But I'm sure I'll just walk the boulevard I want to go, and I'm sure I'll follow my heart and live in truth, as Javier said.

2011 may have been the worst year of his life, thwarted and stalled. Looking back at it, and then on Tiptoe to the 2012 to see, I still want to slow said, we have to die for a long time, live so anxious why, slowly.

All growth and greatness, "like traditional Chinese medicine and old fire soup, is an hour to boil out." ”

Life is not afraid to walk slowly, afraid to go wrong way

When I first came to the United States, I always heard the Chinese say that America is lazy, and can cite many examples. Americans are sure to go on holiday every year, at least to the seaside, lying on the beach.

The Chinese want to be a director and do It day and night. I often hear Americans say that people in Chinese restaurants work really hard, six days a week, or even seven days a day in a restaurant. American Restaurant, the day's class divided into afternoon and evening two classes, the average waiter only five half-day classes.

However, you really have to talk to those who open the restaurant, they will tell you that the money is enough, they will never open a restaurant.

Because tired, and boring, annoying things, one can not be long, the second is not to have innovation, become first-class. Therefore, Chinese food in the United States is almost synonymous with fast food, rather than high-grade signs.

Americans seem lazy, and have fun, but the United States is still very strong, and the Chinese Lao mediocrities, but China is still a developing country, the secret is with this.

Moreover, although people go fast, they often go the wrong way. Americans walk slowly, but often go the other way.

When you go fast, you lose a lot if you make a mistake. In the 50 's, when pumping, every family threw iron pans to steel, and one year, the steel production almost drove the United States, but, so exhausted and fish-like steelmaking, subsequent weakness, then disaster ensued.

The slow benefit is that there is enough time to evaluate the results and stop when there is a mistake. China's rapid economic growth and national jubilation, but this is not without worries, the destruction of the environment is also amazing. Environmental pollution has an impact on people's health, so that medical expenditure multiplied, which erodes people's quality of life.

Chinese, building a house quickly, but, do not pay attention to maintenance, a house, lived more than 20 years old and dilapidated, to be demolished again. Americans devote their energy to the maintenance of their houses every year, some 50-year houses, as new.

Hard work is better than smart, smart have plans, are good at using existing resources, rather than every time the city simple to make a single.

You are persistent. The Chinese know this truth, but they can't do it in practice.

Chinese students, some elementary schools began to learn content, middle School began to study university content, some universities and class, these people's study is fast enough. But why are they so nameless on the Nobel list?

The key is that many people run fast, but often the direction of change, no perseverance. A lot of college students, as soon as out of school is not study. The United States advocates lifelong learning.

Look at the economist again. Chinese students are better at math than American students, and the Nobel Prize-winning American economist is much more than China, which is inconceivable considering the advanced mathematical knowledge used in modern economics.

However, further observation, it is also reasonable to find. Some American scientists, including economists, have a strong spirit of competition. A lifetime engaged in a field of research, my eventually do not regret. Finally, the month won, is not accidental.

In the technical field, the Chinese use the restaurant to run the software, many programmers are tired to change careers. The accumulation of many experiences is in vain. It is a pity.

Therefore, I would like to say that life, as long as the direction of the enemy, it is not afraid to walk slowly. Slow down, maybe a little late for success, but better for the quality of success; Slow down, maybe not so early, but not too tired or too impatient to give up halfway. You tell me?

The best way to grow is to live every moment.

William Osse is a famous doctor, he more and more contact with the people who are sick because of worry and worry, they always because of too much worry before and worry about the future, long-term sullen, ruined health. For a more thorough treatment of these people's illnesses, he gave them a simple but effective prescription: "Every moment is the only", meaning: "We live in today, as long as we do a good job today, there is no need to worry about tomorrow or the day after; we live at this time, we must cherish the moment, each of the moments are the only , no longer returned.

He said: "Cherish the moment and today, what is there to worry about?" every day as long as the time to go to bed is enough, often do not know how to resist the worry of people always die young. "Indeed, every day is a worry, the body is like a rope, pull to pull, sooner or later will pull off."

......

Dread, pay more attention to the present time and day, when we divide the day into a small paragraph, all things will become much easier. If we only live in every moment, there is no time to regret, no time to worry, but only to focus on the present. A wise man chews only a small fragment of life at a time, for it will not choke.

Every moment is unique, it is not a continuation of the past, nor is it a linear future. Time is a series of countless "now" together, every moment, every moment will be eternal.

So, when we eat, eat completely, no matter what we eat: when we are having fun, we have to have a full play, no matter what we are playing, when we love each other, we must love each other completely, regardless of the past, not to calculate the future, fully invested.

Like "Gone With the Wind," the heroine Scarlett, in the trouble of the moment always said to himself, "Now I do not think of these, and so tomorrow, after all, tomorrow is a new day." "Yesterday has passed, tomorrow has not come, want so much to do, live a good moment is the most real, otherwise, the moment is about to disappear, where to find?"

I had a little relative, and when I was in primary school, his grandmother passed away. Grandmother most loved him, the little one can not rule out their own sadness, every day tea do not think rice, and no mind to learn, immersed in pain all day. Everyone around said he is a good boy who understands feelings, his parents are very anxious, because, two days of sadness is normal, a week two weeks of sadness can be understood, but the big six months have passed, he still always crying, refused to eat and learn, seriously affected his growth.

Mom and Dad don't know how to comfort him. Just once I came to their house and saw the situation and decided to chat with the little boy.

"Why are you so sad?" I asked him.

"Because Grandma will never come back." He answered.

"Do you know what will never come back?" I asked.

"Well--I don't know. What else will never come back? " He couldn't answer, asking.

"Everything in time will never come back." Just like your yesterday, it will forever become yesterday, we can not go back to yesterday to make up for anything; just like Dad used to be as small as you, if in his so small childhood unpleasant play, not firmly learn the basis of learning, can no longer go back again; like today's sun is coming down, If we miss the sun today, we will never find the original. ”

He is such a clever boy that he will come home from school every day. In the courtyard inside the house looking at the sun an inch to sink below the horizon, know a naïve over, although tomorrow will have a new sun, but will never have today's sun, he knows no longer for the past things and indulge, but good study and life, Hold on to every moment now.

Every day, every hour, every minute is a special occasion, and every moment is unique. Because, the past can not look back.

Life, the present is true, the fate of the illusion. So, I would like to share with all the reader friends: every moment before the present, must seriously live, every thing, must be seriously done, everyone should be seriously treated, because "margin to be illusion", do not let their disciples stay "too Late" hate. The dead are not to be chased, the one who is still to be treated, the most precious, the most need to cherish is the present-the meaning of life is made up of each and every single moment.