How to deal with "hedgehog"?

"Hard to get along" people often come from their inner fear. After all, you can not really change another person's behavior, and in the end all you can do is change how you handle it.

In an ideal laboratory, you should gather a variety of smart people, they live in harmony together to learn together to explore the issue of science. If your lab is just describing it this way, you're lucky enough. Because most people are experimenting in narrow, crowded rooms, there's always someone who can challenge your patience or get along with it.

It is these so-called "hard-to-get-bys" people whose attitude and demeanor will not go well and will ruin your experiment and future. Look for it in your lab or department (you can also look in the mirror, of course!) And see if there are any of these types of people who may ruin your future or self-esteem:

1. "Scientific Star" (or "scientific research"): "scientific research" seems always to be very easy to get success quickly, at least he himself thinks so, and there is a match with ambition. He always hold the audience in the group meeting, and show off their own success, belittling the contribution of others. Your boss gives him the best question, as well as a high degree of attention and praise.

2. "Energizer Bunny" (Note: a North American battery brand): This person seems to live in the laboratory, like a permanent generator work. He is there whether you arrive in the lab in the morning or leave the lab at night. He seems to have done more than twice as many experiments as everyone else. If he did not laugh at those who did not make the same effort with him, that's not bad.

3. "Invisible Bomber": "Invisible Bomber" always strike without warning. Sitting in the middle of a group meeting or department, he laughs at your recent failure or mistake in the lab. Stealth bomber can control the audience well, but only love to attack others.

4. "To understand Mr.": This person can be used as a tone of the lecture without any stimulus to tell you how to do this experiment in a correct way, or arrogantly claiming that you are doing "wrong" "of. As he took a suction gun from your hand, he spoke his mantra: "Come and come, let me tell you."

5. "I am so tragic ah": This person always complains. He thought everything in life should be good for him. When the experiment did not go well, there was a mess with the boss, problems with personal life, bad laboratory equipment, etc ... this man would be full of grudges.

6. "Hornet": This person may be more like a laboratory boss. He was furious with no reason at all, or questions, challenges, annoyances. You and others in the lab will be in a state of horror and fear that he will suddenly give you a repulsive look.

7. "Thirsty thief": He borrowed your equipment, using your experience techniques, using your brain to get the idea, but when you need help, but refused to give support. When he succeeds, he will say it's done on his own.

8. "Who, me?": This person seems to be hard to remember their task. When you've decided to work together on a topic and assign a job. When the work is done, he will say, "Who, me? Order these consumables, calibrate this machine? These are all my experiments?"

preventive solution

Perhaps you usually turn the other side of the face to make people fight, but also at all costs to calm the storm. If so, your strategy so far is not enough to deal with these "unmanaged" people. In the lab, dodging them is sometimes inevitable and avoiding them only makes things worse.

They still continue their own way, and you will only feel more and more uncomfortable, and finally turned into resentment. Putting this question to your boss or someone else may be an alternative, but remember not everyone is a competent manager.

So how do you deal with a "hard-to-get-by" person? Every type needs a different approach, but you can do something simple to distract you.

For some bad behavior, the best way is to personally tell him how his actions affect you. For other types, some more clever and more indirect ways may be required.

When communicating with those "techies," you can easily be in a defensive position, thinking, "Why did he get all the attention?" However, in this case, the best response is not to do Out of reaction.

Because confrontation may lead to an upgrade, you will only fall into a formidable enemy. When you are alone with your boss, hold back against expressing dissatisfaction with the cowardly arrogance; criticism will make you look like sour grapes.

Second, concentrate on doing great work. When you submit your own excellent essay, peer reviewers do not know or care about the arrogance of those "scientific researchers." Only work and essays get final approval, so make sure your job is top notch.

For the "Invisible Bomber," you can say: "I noticed that you used to routinely ask questions that I encountered during my group meetings, and I know it would enrich the discussion, but I feel if it was my own It is better to ask these questions, and the benefit of this approach is that by explaining why a behavior makes you feel uncomfortable, let him know that what you're doing is not business right.

In a straightforward and ingenious way, both "stealth bomber" face, but also let him see your own point of view. This method can also make the "stealth bomber" know you are very concerned about what he is doing. Every time he does this, you deal with it until he stops.

Instead of complaining and encouraging such a vicious circle, you can try to stand in a neutral position by coping with "grudges." For example, when he complained, you nodded and released a neutral statement: "Well, I'm sorry to hear that."

Give him 2 minutes to get him to complain about how bad everything is, then move to the problem-solving mode. You can say: "Your instrument is broken and it will make your experiment hard to do. What are you going to do?" In short, you should gather more "positive energies" instead of endless complaints.

And the very strong "Hornet" exchange, deal with his fury, the best way is to do nothing. In some cases, it is best to let him roar alone, you just keep calm, think about something else, when he is done, go away.

Or, depending on the situation, you can suggest to discuss the issue again when he is ready to talk calmly. By adopting a meditative approach rather than aggravating his bad temper, in the end you may no longer be the target of his wrath.

In a highly competitive laboratory environment, everyone strives to be an expert. In such an environment, "knowing everything" can irritate you and make you feel unhappy. One of the ways to deal with them is to agree with everything he says. If you nodded thoughtfully and then asked your own thoughts and opinions, "It sounds good to do this in such a way, but have you considered ...?"

For Energizer Rabbit, even if he is in the lab for 16 hours a day, and running a marathon on weekends, what about it? If this is not your style, then let it go. Have your own positive attitude, do not belittle yourself, because your job is different from the rhythm of others.

You might find a clever way to let Energizer Bunny know that your job is equally important to him as you do to him and that may help you. If you figure it out, you will not be intimidated by his pay or output, and you may even win his respect.

Monitor your behavior

Finally, look at what you are dealing with when dealing with a "hard-to-reach" person. Are you defensive, angry, scared, or angry? Or, can you ignore it? To deal with these people, mostly based on their own work with confidence.

Building confidence can take time, but as you begin to accumulate more and more successful experiences and publish a series of dissertations, the attitudes and behaviors of others become less and less affected by you.

Remember, "hard to get along" people often come from their inner fear. After all, you can not really change another person's behavior, and in the end all you can do is change how you handle it. Therefore, establish your own goals, do not be affected by others.

It's never easy to work with people who are "hard to get along." But in your professional life, especially in a competitive lab, you learn early on how to respond to these people, bringing you useful hands-on interpersonal skills and managing your skills. No matter where you go after, will be helpful to you.