With the highest honors graduation label in the diploma to appease the already Mas mother

Today is the last day of 22 years old. A few months ago, I graduated from the Wharton School, with the diploma "top honors graduation" label to appease the already Mas mother, and then turned to resign after graduating from the first job, with a very respected company, and 1.5 million of the annual salary, returned to Shanghai, joined the "just graduated from unemployment" club, Started a new life of three meals a day. In the middle of many wonderful plot temporarily skipped.

I am certainly not the first person to do such a thing, and certainly not the last. So before I say some interesting stories about myself, I'd like to share some of the time and a little peace of mind with everyone (including friends aged 30 and over 40), and sharing some of the things that haven't been said in the past year. So the first two say is for some have been puzzling us the key words understanding and experience. They are: Desire, outside, label, genius, time, experience, life goal, regret, and reality.

This may be a popular science, may also be a novel, but I do not want this article into an inspirational article, we all aesthetic fatigue. So I want to ignore highbrow, although the amount of information is very large, but at least some real experience and stories, say some effect of the immediate point of view, say, Alive Lin Chi-ling or something, in short, let everyone see a little more to gain a little practical value.

Part One: The things that are most easily understood and wrong

About Desire

These are the things in our hearts that are as real as the ideals of life: education, work, room, car, wealth, and love. Each of us is willing to pay for these desires, whether it is sweat, blood, health, or whatever else you know. Although the way we pay may not be socially mainstream, perhaps less dramatic, but you and I, the University library students and internet cafes struggling teenagers, the workplace Lala and dancing in the evening Miss, Han and Furong Feng (Han less lying also in the gun-_-), we who have not for a goal to stay up all night struggle? Who did not have to do to get the same thing and tore heart crack? Who didn't have the feeling of being too desperate to get tired? So we are the most not lack of motivational stories, because each of us is the expert in the field of pay.

The real problem is that the faster we run, the more we can't think about whether we're running in the right direction.

Kitano told a very interesting story. He said he was not famous before he wanted to one day have money, must drive a sports car, eat high-end restaurants, sleep with women. When he was truly successful, he found that it was not as good to drive a Porsche because he couldn't see himself driving a Porsche. As a result, he let his friends drive, he made a taxi, followed, and said to the taxi driver: Look, that's my car.

I want to say, over the past few years I have known, the close, the people who have worked together, including a group of 20 of the income of more than 1 million of financial friends, 30-year-old income millions of of senior friends, as well as the brilliant resume is not care about the income of the Big Boss, and my own experience tell me two things:

One, the Diploma of the top schools, the work of top companies, the top income, the top houses, the top cars, the top prestige, none of this can satisfy mankind.

Two, whether through the parents, through luck, or through the struggle to get these top things, people will not get more happiness.

Then Kitano's story goes on. Imagine this: You ride on a motor vehicle today, a young man from a small mountain village passes by and says that your car is so handsome that you won't have any satisfaction. After more than 10 years of struggle, you sit in the driver's seat of a Porsche that you can't call a model today, a passer-by passes by and says your car is so handsome, believe me, you won't have any satisfaction. You don't care about him, just like you're not here today. Your perspective is changing. Every time we consider what we can achieve in many years, we are always accustomed to standing in the perspective of today to measure happiness and satisfaction. Your perspective today is just an illusion, but it makes you believe your goal is right. This is the easiest time for us to go in the wrong direction.

Human needs are peculiar. We eat the first bread when the happiness, and we eat the 1000th bread when the feeling of happiness, is similar, the former even more than the latter. The same feeling applies to the first 10,000 dollars and the first 10 million dollars we earned, the first 100,000 car and the first 10 million car, the first girl and the tenth woman, the first boy and the tenth man. "Physical needs, security needs, ownership and love needs, respect for demand and self-realization"--in the famous five-Maslow needs, you can get as much happiness from any segment of demand.

We know clearly the difference between pleasure and happiness, and we know that desire and demand are two things (you've never heard of "Maslow's five Desires" right?) But our unhappiness is due to careless pleasure as a sense of happiness, desire as a demand, and this is because we often stand in the perspective of the present to imagine the feelings of the future. The truth is, as if we don't need a lot of bread, we don't need a lot of money, we don't need a lot of love. Because it's hard for them to bring you more happiness. Of course, we do not need to be more than the importance of ideals and freedom. You can try to stop and think about whether these five needs are really high or low, and think about whether even the poorest and most hungry people have been pursuing these five levels of demand at the same time in their lives. You will find that these five needs are as real as they are, as close as you are, and as far away. Then you need to find a balance point that can achieve all five of these requirements at the same time. This balance is just your running direction. This article will actually help you find this direction. But before we do, we'll talk about something else.

"Although there is no difference between high and low, but when most people are unable to pursue at the same time because of realistic conditions, they can only retire and ask for a few or one of them, there will be a choice of order, the order will vary according to each person's growth experience, Maslow's order is for most people. 】

About the outside world

The greatest influence that the outside world brings to our lives is jealousy and comparison.

We have been overestimating jealousy. For instance, no one is jealous of Lady Gaga. Lady Gaga should be more famous, richer, better able to ride a nicer car, live in a bigger house than we are, and more talented than we are. But you're not jealous of her, are you? None of us are jealous of Lady gaga--because she is so thunder. She was so strange that we could not associate ourselves with her, so we had no inferiority, no jealousy, no hatred in the face of fame and talent. Instead, we're going to think that she's kind of funny and very enlightening, isn't it?

"One of the characteristics of human nature is that for people who are too far behind, it is almost impossible to give up the idea of jealousy, as it is for strangers in the news, and for those who know them, and if they are more universal than themselves or successful, they will not be jealous, But will be proud of having such a friend. The real most likely to trigger jealousy and comparison, those who know there is some kind of connection, and their own gap is not so big, will think we are not the same, why do you mix better than me. 】

So when you see the good things happen to him or that she, jealousy of the small flames in your heart rush to rush, as the TA as the very strange Lady Gaga it. Because of this time, we will know how to put aside the personal distractions, to really think about other people's bright spots.

As for the comparison (Social Comparison), we can choose to try to match the 4.0-point student, try to keep up with the old man of hundreds of thousands of annual salary and try to be on par with the constantly promoted colleague. Or we can choose to see the larger world outside, the people who are as young as we are. It looks like a 30-year-old experience of the adele,19-Year-old Zhang Baijin album "19", 21 years old when the total sales of 12 million album "21", took two Grammy. She was born in 1988. The eyes and mentality seem to have been as calm as the middle-aged man Durant and Derrick Rose, two No doubt super stars, they were born in 1988. If you prefer a practical one, then the largest user on the iphone developer of the third party browser Mammoth Browser is a 1992-born Beijing teenager. If you have a world stage in your sights, you will see that the characters are getting closer to your age.

We don't need to be on par, we just have to "see". To see the world in addition to the number of square meters you are now in the enclosed space, there are many wonderful things are happening. When you discover the depth and breadth of the world, you will find that you are nothing like the "same people" around you. The world is too big. You are not your own benchmark, others are not. No one is your benchmark, this is an era without benchmarks.

What we have to do is try not to envy, not to compare, not to criticize, but to try to observe, to listen, and then to think, to precipitate, to let all the outside information in your brain through a long time processing process. Before your brain has yet to precipitate your own opinion on one thing, don't give a point of view, do not make a conclusion. We can constantly question what we see and hear in the brain, and we can constantly challenge our thoughts and challenges to any natural existence, as long as we make sure our brains are thinking and thinking independently. Remember, you are different from everyone in the world.

About labels

"Cool" is the author of the past few years to hear more than an adjective. When people we like compliment us, we always get p. Excuse me here, I think it is good, that life is quite real.

But I want to use a very good friend (oneself to claim) last year in front of me to describe the words I heard, to translate this has been used and "handsome" "beauty" as rotten vulgar word. She said, "You think too much (this is her usual opening line)." You just have a lot of great labels--Shanghai High School, Wharton School, top honors, Blackstone's full time offer, million annual salary. As far as you are concerned, cows don't make any sense. ”

This story tells us: First, "cow" and "handsome", "beauty", is a way of greeting, two, "cattle" is always those tags, those who changed the financial industry, those who have changed the world by cultivating talent schools, those defined the fashion brand. Although I do not intend to change the way people greet, but for the human who has not yet run to three, "upscale" "Elite" "good" is actually not as "well done" or "very interesting" come more real. Of course, when we get to three, we don't want to use these words.

If you've ever or will get any labels, whether it's Gaosheng Kimmechensie, Peking University Ivy, or Gucci Prada Armani, there are two things worth thinking about.

The first thing to remind ourselves is that we may not be able to create the value that equals our annual salary for our top 500 clients, and we may not be able to change the world with knowledge, and we may not be able to put that dress out of the five-digit price.

The second thing is to see yourself: it is a society where everyone uses labels to identify each other, but we have to remember that our values are not half as rich as our labels. Success is not about what you label, but what you do with those tags. (yes, the beginning of the article "Wharton" "1.5 Million" "Top honors Graduation" These labels let some people see this article now, but in any case, for the psychologically offended people, here to extend sincere apology).

In short, put the label in the right place, create some value, although not big to change the world, but also bring some of the meaning of existence. It's not going to start.

About Us

Don't think about talent, everything comes from experience and desire. Especially in these years, when I know some of the whole of China, even the United States the most "genius" of young people, only to find out what genius, if their experience to speak out one by one, we must feel that the whole is a group of bitter force Ah. But they have one thing in common, they know exactly what they need, and they are very happy to pursue it.

Part Two: The most important thing

About Time

Time is the only currency. The wealth you have is important because you can use it for a lot of things. The time you have is far more important, because you can use time for anything in the world, including wealth, including a sense of achievement, including happiness, including other things that we all know are worth more than wealth to our lives. Yes, each person takes time to change everything exchange rate is different, some people can use a little time to exchange a lot of wealth, some people need to spend a lot of time in exchange for very little happiness. But the truth is, as long as you are willing to take the time, you can change anything. So you have to think about what you're going to spend in exchange for the infinite possibilities in the world. Open your eyes and you will find that there are so many experiences and experiences that you can exchange for. But your time in the bank is only 24 hours a day. You may think you have a lifetime to do something you want to do, but the truth is, no one can guarantee that tomorrow God will deposit another 24 hours in your bank. So, you have to think clearly.

About experience

If you can take anything from this article today, I hope it will be the next part of the story.

What is the English name of the experience? If you have ever played role-playing games (RPG), you will know that there is a concept called exp, the full name experience, which is the experience of English. Life is a huge RPG, you play yourself. The only way you're upgrading is to keep accumulating exp.

We all know those stories, we all know the truth, we see so many inspirational stickers, we're even going to know why Steve Jobs became jobs. But only through experience can we really turn those truths into consciousness. Those who change our lives are not taught by others.

So even if you have the perfect theory, you're not sure you can convince people who aren't driving the Porsche to understand that Porsche is not what they want, and that they are not sure to convince those who have not yet worked at an investment bank to give up the investment bank (not to mention, for those financially-loving kids, Your exhortation is most likely wrong. So even if this article is very hard to try to move closer to the practical direction, you may not have any understanding after reading. It's like you can't convince people who haven't eaten a lot of bread to make them feel queasy about eating 1000 loaves of bread.

At every stage of life, only those experiences that we already have, determine what we are going to do next. So most of the time, you just remember one thing: experience different experiences. To love, to hate, to be in a passionate, heartless smile, to the hoarse cry after the lovelorn, to skip class, to fight, to spell the life of reading, to let themselves really understand those truths. The things you try, the people you know, are part of your experience. They help you understand what you've always known but never really understood, and they help you to see a world that has been there but you haven't seen it.

However, your life is very short, you have only so much time money. So besides what jobs has already told you, "Don't live in someone else's world," you remember, never repeat the same experience, because you will not get more from the second experience, but also because there are so many interesting people in this huge world waiting for us to know, so many different experiences waiting for us to experience.

This article will actually help you explore different experiences. Just remember, if you're doing the same thing every week, a year from now you're just a year old. If you are willing to try a new experience every week, or every month, or to meet a friend from a completely different background, a year from now you are as young as a year ago, just a year later, a year's experience and a sense of the world.

About whether to go through the experience, to follow the feelings and ideals of regret

We must regret it. But we do not regret the decision to follow our passions or follow our ideals. The truth is that if we have dreams that we are trying to find, unwilling to give up, and if we have people we love and do not want to hurt, then on this path we will surely regret something we have done. The closer we are to our ideals and our true love, the easier we regret. It's like a minute late. Those who miss the plane are more regretful than those who missed the plane one hours later--because we can see clearly that if we hadn't made some mistakes, we might have achieved our ideals if we had been a little bit more insistent. So regret is actually a signal, it tells us, is very close to the target. More importantly, we do not live to pursue what nonsense of "life without regret", we do not have to regret for those sad pain. Because on this path we choose, regret is not telling us what we did wrong, but telling us how to do it better.

about how to find your life goals

It's time to deliver on the promise. I would like to use one of the simplest, direct and productive ways to solve a common problem with inspirational articles and success stories: they always encourage us to "do what we want to do", but never tell the young confused how we find "what we want to do" (so much so that we mislead a lot of friends to think that is "I want to sleep until the National Day") Or "I want to be a cargo".

The method I'm going to say has been successful in many of the people I know, but it's not what I think it is. Steve Pavlina, a well-known blogger, has a detailed description of the method in its blog, but it doesn't seem to be what Steve Pavlina himself. There are a lot of Chinese translations on the Internet, you may have seen it, but those translations are biased so that readers can hardly understand the essence. So here the original text to be edited, combined with the above experience sharing, and then more suitable for the Chinese to share the statement. If you are willing to try and be willing to do so, maybe we can use less than 500 words next to help you find your life goals in 20 minutes to 1 hours.

Here we go.

(1) First find one hours of complete free time in your busy life. Turn off your cell phone, turn off your computer, close the door and make sure there's no interruption for one hours. This hour only belongs to you, and you have to find the ideal of life. Remember, this could be the most important one hours of your life. Your life may be different at this hour. If one hours of time money can only be used for one thing, then it is absolutely worth finding your life goals.

(2) Prepare a few big white paper, and a pen.

(3) at the top of the first white paper, write a sentence: "What is Your life for?" ”

(4) Yes, the next thing you need to do is answer that question. The first thought that flashed through your mind was immediately written in the first line. Any idea can be, and can be just a few words. For example, "make a lot of money." ”

(5) Repeat step 4th continuously. Until you cry.

Yes, it's that simple. Although this method looks silly, it works. If you want to find a goal in life, you must first remove all the "fake answers" in your head. You usually need 15-20 minutes of time and process to get rid of those that are covered on the surface that are influenced by outside ideas and mainstream thinking. All of these fake answers come from your brain, your mind, and your memories, but when the real answer comes up, you'll feel it coming from the depths of your heart.

For those who have never considered such a problem, it may take a long time (one hours or more) to get rid of the clutter in the brain. When you write 50-100, you may want to give up, or find an excuse to do something else. Because you may think that this method has no effect, your answer is very messy, you also completely do not want to cry feeling. This is normal. Don't give up, keep thinking and writing, the feeling of resistance will slowly past. Remember, your decision to stick to it will turn these one hours into the most important one hours of your life.

When you write the 100th or No. 200 answer, you may suddenly have a burst of inner emotion, but not enough to make you cry. This means that it is not the final answer. But circle these answers and in the course of your next writing you can review the answers to help you find the final answer, because that might be the permutation of several answers. But in any case, the final answer will certainly make you cry, let you fall emotionally.

Also, if you don't believe in the first thing in life, you can write "1." Live for nothing. "Never mind, as long as you are willing to persist and keep writing, you will find the answer that makes you cry."

As your reference, Steve Pavlina spent 25 minutes in the 106th step to find his final answer in this exercise. And the answers that gave him a burst of emotion appeared in step 17,39,53. He took these answers and rearranged them, and finally the answer was sublimated in steps 100th through 106th. The feeling of wanting to give up is in step 55th to 60th (want to stand up and do something else, feel extremely impatient, etc.). In the 80th step, he rested for 2 minutes, closed his eyes, relaxed his brain, and then tidied up his thoughts. It worked so well that after the 2-minute break, his ideas and answers became clearer.

If you must take the author to do the reference, then the answer is that I was relatively ignorant, still do not know the method of this system, so I spent four months groping and confused, hit a lot of walls, only to find the final answer (in the second chapter of the personal story will be mentioned). But after the author verified that this method is scientific and effective, only because it extracts the key principle.

Whatever method you are willing to use, your final answer will surely be a longer sentence, or a combination of several sentences. This answer seems to be very hollow, as I said earlier, "everyone knows, but only a few people really understand the truth." But these empty sentences will have a very rich and meaningful meaning for you-because it is your own time and energy to spend at least one hours to sort out all your past experiences, to think, to judge, to remove, to integrate, to precipitate, and finally to comprehend. If you have finished reading all the analysis from the beginning of the article, you will understand why this method is very effective.

about why you have a life goal (and how it's related to the capture of Lin Chi-ling).

That's a good question. The ultimate goal of all is to change the most happiness (this happiness can come from inside, outside, and in the world). But most people think it's a tough thing and don't know how to do it. The big question is how to maximize your happiness is a tens of thousands of-line equation in which you make hundreds of millions of choices, and we expect to solve them logically.

As you know, logic is a thing that is not paved. Most of the time, you think you've got your brain blown up, but you can't make a choice. This is the logical function of the brain to deal with the limit of the problem, it can only solve the problem around the five corners, the face of the 100-bend problem it is as weak as Ben 2; and sometimes, your logic can easily be wasted by your desires, This is the most common occurrence of waking up in the morning-"Should I get up?" "" Hmmm ... It's nice to be asleep. "-You think you've solved the problem perfectly with logic, but you just let the desire solve the problem, and then you convince yourself perfectly logically." So we often after a period of time, suddenly found that our desire to hang the "logical" sheep Head "solve" all the problems, but they are empty without any sense of happiness. We don't want to do this, so we need to get your brain to process each of these choices very simply and correctly.

To establish a goal in life why can we solve this problem? It's simple, life's goal is to simplify the logic of your Martian brain into binary. Let's say that your life goal is to "capture Lin Chi-ling" (of course, this is just an unlikely example, do not have someone to cry out for writing this goal), then you get up every morning when the process is: "I should get up?" "" Hmmm ... Go to sleep can you help me capture the Lin Ling? "Obviously not." Get up! ”

That's how many motivational speakers you've heard say: "What makes happy people wake up in the morning and don't want to get out of bed and do what they want?" "--Lin Chi-ling. Oh no, it's their goal in life. The other thing is the same: "I want to eat?" "Don't eat can I take Lin Ling alive?" "No, so I'm going to eat." "Shall I go to the club?" "Can you help me take the Lin Ling alive?" "No, good physical exercise will do." So I used to go to the club time currency to change the strong physique and Wing Chun Boxing bar. "You'll find that you don't have to rely on complicated logic, and it's easy and right to make any decisions." Of course, your life goal will be "alive Lin Ling" looks noble, empty a lot, it will also be able to encompass you to yourself, friends around the family and the world's consideration. But remember that your outsider's seemingly empty goals have made you cry, so it must have a very rich meaning for you.

Finally, you may ask: "How can I be sure that I have always chosen for my life goals and that I can maximize my happiness?" "(The problem doesn't seem to explain much) because your goal in life is to eliminate the" camouflage "of the assorted you desire, and to get the most out of your innermost desires after settling, it is your real need. Follow it to get the pleasure you deserve in the short term, and to get the happiness you need in the long run.

About reality and life goals

I want to give everyone who has, will, or want to find the ideal of life, and share two very ordinary stories, as the end.

The first story I want to talk about is one of the two most important mentors in the university. He is a star professor at Wharton, a graduate of MIT, Harvard Law School, and more than 50 years old, teaching 17 years of negotiating lessons. Although he has a large amount of homework, every year his class has almost full score of students ranked the top three of Wharton's curriculum.

Before I graduated from college, I asked him to have lunch in a small town near Philadelphia. When he told me the story of his youth, I asked him what he had made the most regrettable decision in his life.

He said he always wanted to be a teacher, especially a primary school teacher. When he graduated from MIT at the age of more than 20, he had a good chance to be a teacher at a primary school near his home that he liked. But even in the United States, elementary school teachers are almost a very low and disrespectful profession. At the same time, he received an offer from Harvard Law School. At last he went to Harvard Law School, and that was the most regrettable decision he had ever made in his life. He regrets, not only because he later found that Harvard Law School is so boring and infighting, but also because he was respected by the community, the choice of admiration, abandoned by the social abandonment, despise the choice.

He said he was very lucky, always so like to be a teacher, after graduating from law school for many years after the displaced, finally became a teacher. When I talked to some people about the story, their first reaction was, is this nonsense? If he hadn't gone to Harvard, he would have been a primary school teacher and would not have been a professor of Wharton. I think the meaning of reality and ideal is different for everyone, we just need to understand that not everyone feels that becoming a famous university professor is a greater and happier achievement than a normal school teacher.

At the beginning of the second story, I would like to ask a question: Have you ever thought about our daily Colonel's meager, many people sharing all kinds of inspirational, exception, dream-seeking articles, but what did they do in the end? You might think they're coming back to reality. But in fact, many times they carry on with the truth and continue to do what they know how to do. That's the second story.

Every young person around the age of 20 is like a computer running at a high speed. A generation runs faster than a generation. We started from sensible people told us to run a variety of programs, kindergarten, primary school, upper secondary, high school, college, work, and so on. We can't stop. The point is that it's hard to run the program that we want to run, because all the programs we've been running over the last 20 years have been made up to us--we don't program ourselves.

If one day a computer suddenly decided to run its own program, he must first stop. At this point, he would look at all the computers around him still running at a high speed, even laughing at him for not moving, and then left him far behind. And he needs to slowly start learning his own programming, a long and painful process, because no one has ever taught him. That's why only a handful of people in the world are running their own programs.

Say that these two stories are not for inspirational purposes, but just to tell you what will happen if you find your life goals today or tomorrow: first, even if you have a clear idea of what you want, there will still be something more socially agreeable to tempt you, always remember to stick to it. If you insist, you will experience a process of learning to write a program, the process will be painful and long. One day we will be willing to face the process. The good news is that we are all young. So why not take advantage of the passion and the courage to hit the walls with the least price.

Part III: Personal stories of the past year, to all the friends who have known for ten years and who like to hear stories

The story before the resignation

I started my journey to find my life goal after I finished my summer vacation last year and got my offer back to Blackstone. 2010 September to December, I had a pretty bad. Because every day I get up thinking about what I'm going to do in my life. I can see clearly if I accept that offer, my prospects for the next two years. There was a Korean Jay in our office, and my internship was his third year as an analyst. Every year, he was the strongest of all the Blackstone analysts in the world. I have no doubt that I can be the best analyst, but at the same time, I can see clearly that J is the limit I can be. But think about it, J is just that, working hard in the office like a perpetual motive, playing like a noble child in a nightclub. J is the most outstanding, but also the black stone can create the best.

Then I think of the limitations of the environment, think of a dense network. When I was in, my best student went to Peking University and Tsinghua University. At the same instant, the best students went to Goldman Sachs, Bain Capital, Carlyle, KKR, Jane Street and other buyers. I think we have become victims of stereotyped thinking (victims of stereotypes). Our social circle is with people of our kind, we communicate, compete, encourage, inspire, in the so-called dense network. We think we've seen the whole world, but we're just repeating the same kind of information. So if you're the "best" one, then you're probably the best of all people of your kind. But that's your limit.

And there are other people who just want to be a little different from others, they want to go outside and see how big the world is, they want to find their own unique life. For these people, the sky is the limit. To be honest, all those who chose DIY to go abroad, if today you have the honor to let those who went to Peking University, Tsinghua University, those students envy of the offer (again to lie also in the gun of Peking University, Tsinghua classmate to send a lofty apology), if you have more than the same age of Insight, That is not necessarily because you are better than them, in large part because in that country is not as popular as today's era, you have not been the Peking University, Tsinghua's stereotyped thinking. So God is very good, because all the people who have been pursuing "good" and "excellent" end up in their most firmly believed standards "lose" to those who just want to live their own unique life.

Of course, at the end of 2010, I was just certain that I was being played by God. But fortunately I still have a year, I decided to have to find a goal of their own life, and then firmly go down. At first, like many people, I felt that the ultimate goal of life was to walk more, to see the world, to live the self. But then I found that the goal is only to say good, but in fact, can not give people a sustained momentum, and then I am very sad. Then, I finally came up with a somewhat different goal, is "to be a fun person" (being an interesting). Because for me, that was the highest rating I could give to another person. But then I thought again, this goal, by management standards, is too imprecise and too imprecise to provide continuous power. Then I was even more sad. So from September to December four months, every day to get up because of the pain of finding life goals. Because of their own inner dialogue too much, often inadvertently confused. There was no one to tell me what a good thing it would be to find a goal in 20 minutes. So I took a lot of weird classes, and I was talking to all kinds of weird people, hoping to get some inspiration from their experiences. That period of time I really very anxious also very fidgety, fortunately I persisted. The professor in my negotiation class became a very important mentor to me-though he never gave me any guidance one-on-one. But as I mentioned before, those who change our lives are not taught by others. After entering the December, my goal slowly found me.

The thought of settling down after a myriad of inner struggles in four months was finally summed up by me as a simple, seemingly "interesting person", but it meant a lot to me:

"To grow and to help others grow." To live and to help others live.

"Grow and help others grow. Experience and experience life, and help others experience and experience life. "

These two words became my goal in life. It can make me moved to cry, also can make me moved to laugh. Most importantly, although these two words may seem strange to outsiders, but I found that these two words explain the past more than 20 years, the reasons behind many of the things I have done, including why I have not studied hard, why I chose to go abroad, why have been skipping classes, Why in 2009 with a group of friends to create a bimp such a magical project, and so on.

Decision on resignation

After defining the goal of life, my thinking and vision have become a lot clearer. I soon found what I wanted to do. Like many friends around me, entrepreneurship was once considered an idea in my mind. But I can't think of anything I'd like to trade with my money for almost all my time. But in January this year, when it came to defining my life's goals, I hardly took the time to determine the direction of a project, and the idea of a business project came to me. And then through the continuous improvement from an immature product to become a mature product, a truly lasting value for all products.

So, maybe unlike many friends I respect, my starting point is not "charity" and "voluntary service", "entrepreneurship" has never been my goal (a four years of financial people who have been learning the "entrepreneurial" goal), my goal is to achieve "growth, and help others grow." Experience and experience life, and help others experience and experience life. "Simply put, I don't have a voice in my heart that says," You have to start a business, you have to start a business. "Just by chance, creating a commercial project is the best way to achieve this, and creating a business project happens to be called entrepreneurship.

On the other hand, working in black stone can help me "grow" and "experience", but I think it is worthwhile for me to spend 20% of my time in a summer internship at the Blackstone for the 80% experience I might experience in the next two years. I will also "grow", but not necessarily faster than the entrepreneurial growth, deeper, more ideal, more diverse (for example, I have no way to do I have always wanted to do the art design work!) ）。 Most importantly, I realized that in the Black stone I was basically unable to achieve my goals in life other 50%--"help others grow." Help others experience and live life. So the result is, "whether to resign the first job after graduation, directly become a bum" such a big choice, is my life goal for a moment to solve. How many moments? I found an interesting coincidence later.

Four years ago, I tried to write a memoir, to recall the journey abroad more than two years, and then this memoir unfortunately wrote to go abroad in the first year there is no later. Although it's a bit of a torment to write a memoir, reading a memoir is absolutely a pleasure. I wrote that six years ago I decided to give up the opportunity to go to Tsinghua University and decided to go abroad for high school, because Shanghai Middle School does not support children applying for foreign universities. The original text reads as follows:

I'm sure I won't go to Tsinghua University. I had two very simple and very clear ideas: one, I deserve the best in the world, two, is also the more important idea, I think, even if finally destroyed in the United States, I at least made a handsome to admiration decision, I despise Peking University Tsinghua University. Even more bizarre, from the two years since then, I have almost never regretted this decision, nor do I think there is any good thinking. It was as if the choice was insulting my IQ rather than my IQ. In any case, two years later, I believe that this handsome to admiration decision, is my life so far the most correct decision. ”

This story tells us: people will not change. To change the above Tsinghua University to Black Stone, is my brain in half a second to make the decision to resign the thinking process. It can be seen that the brain is thinking about some important things in life is not necessary to operate, let the heart to work is enough, and your life goal is your heart.

If that's what I've learned over the last six years, it's (1) A Life goal (2) It's wrong to have no decision in life because you never know if another option is right.

A number of wall bumps

Randy Pausch A very real point in his famous "final speech". ' We're bound to hit a lot of walls in our quest for the ideal, but these walls are not to stop us, they're just trying to stop people who aren't so eager for ideals, ' he said. These walls are designed to give us a chance to prove how much we want to get those things.

The first wall I hit was that I didn't resign as soon as I wanted to. Taking into account the progress of team development, the pressure of personal integrity issues, family pressure, and many of the possible negative aspects of direct resignation, I finally went back to work for four months to formally resign, including one months of training. For a long time, the big boss didn't allow me to tell anyone about my resignation, but the big boss himself didn't do the secrecy work so much that his colleagues finally knew that a small analyst was going to resign. But I was also stipulated not to be open, so the atmosphere in the office near my seat is very bad and the work feels like a day. Also interspersed with many of the story of Stress mountain, for example, I met the annual 3v1 of the company's top management, and was tortured on a sunny afternoon by three names on Wall Street, because I became the first analyst in the company's history to announce that he didn't do much of the work. My name is always on the bad Boy's Hall of Fame. For example, a VP who had a good relationship with me for four weeks, I was the air that sat in the whole office entrance. But no matter how hard it was, it was a very unique experience.

In fact, I am grateful and respect for the black stone, not only because I am still a love of financial guy, but also because each of the colleagues I contacted the style of work on my personal style has a certain degree of impact. From the emotional level, I am most grateful for the team personnel in charge of the Korean VP, in the process of my resignation to help me do a lot of dredging work. Two nights before I left, he said something I was impressed. He said, "Denny, you know, as your boss, this time I'm faced with a choice between taking care of the company or the interests of a young man." I chose the latter. I hope you don't have to face this choice later. But if one day you meet, I hope you can make the same decision as me. ”

The day I left, my colleague sent me a farewell message to a couple of friends I had worked with before. To my great delight, they used the same words in their blessings, "You are very brave" ("You are very brave"). I'm happy because no matter how hard the road may be, at least at the start of the journey I realized the first adjective Obama used to describe Steve's life. That's enough for a fool who lives in the moment.

Now I'm at home in Shanghai, working with people I love and very creative. Although the living conditions are very ordinary (in terms of bankers ' standards, it is a terrible thing), although the intensity and time of the work are still the same as at the time of the Black stone (at the top level by banker's standards), the day after the return to Shanghai is indeed the fastest rise in the self learning curve of my life. So by the way, when the most respected financial institutions tell you why to choose them, especially the reasons for the learning curve, don't give in so quickly. Not only are they likely to sell you something you don't need, but they will never show you all the possibilities in the world. You have to jump out of the "dense network" and see for yourself. This proposal comes from the author who still loves finance.

The story of my year is over. If you look back at the life of the past year, the best way to describe it is that from the day I set the goal of life a year ago, everything started to get out of hand. But I think at the end of this review, and all the friends who have identified their own way of life, share the biggest impressions of the year: your ideals are like a car, and if you feel that everything in this vehicle is in your control, it may mean you are not driving fast enough (Your dream is likes Your cars.) If you are are in ' Full Control ' it, you are are not driving it fast enough).

About thanks

Thanks to all who support you, appreciate you, deny you, and look down upon you.

I always say, never forget where you came from and where you are going. I am not born on the good to be able to change my school, until six years ago, I was not a good student, the highest student career was the captain of the team, the midterm final exam seems to have never entered the top three, a year or even the school countdown to 10%, but also do not know what they want. Thank myself for not knowing why suddenly a tendon began to be willing to work hard, since then know to realize the dream by insisting on paying, no other secret. Then I went abroad, saw a very big world, in the way of perseverance, met a lot of people who bring me inspiration, they use their experience to influence and change me. That's why I keep telling myself not to forget where you came from, and that's why I want to continue to spread my influence, probably as a thank-you.

In the first half of this year, while in the entrepreneurial class, I have to take care of the development of their own projects, on the other side of the Entrepreneurial class project team of the other four members of the upcoming graduation, do not do anything at all. My professor, Gelburd, a former entrepreneur and my second mentor in Wharton, has not reduced the requirements for our team's projects because I am a member of the development and preparation of the project, but he has given me a lot of encouragement. On the day of the final presentation day, I was forced to complete a 80% project presentation with three final speeches in one day. There is no miracle, our quality is certainly not the best. But a few days before my graduation, I received the result of the course. Gelburd gave me a +. I wrote a thank-you note to him, and he replied, "Every year in this class, there are no more than three real startups, I think you'll become very successful."

Received his mail, I told myself, absolutely can not disappoint those who have been watching you. Even if only one person who is watching you, for that person, you must persist.

Similarly, over the years, I've been denied by so many people, even good friends around me. From five years ago: "You want to go to Wharton?" "Until a few years:" You still don't start a business, "you certainly will not resign" and so on. These negatives and doubts have inspired me so much that I know exactly what I really want.

In the past six years, my greatest luck is to meet a lot of powerful people, their strong place may be some life experience, may be a very partial door skills, there or is a very strange logic, a stick to dozens of of life details. I'll go all the way in the future.

The stories above, share with all the friends who believe that life is a constant experience. Next year, we are still young.