該分手的八大徵兆

標籤：des   style   class   http   ext   color   

 

該分手的八大徵兆  

Relationships are important – to each other, to our families, to our friends, to the people we care about. There comes a point in romantic relationships when things become serious and it becomes an actual Relationship, one where the idea of spending your life with this person and crafting your life together is a valid and understandable continuation of this relationship. When that isn’t achieved, the question becomes, ‘why not?’
人際關係是很重要的–不論是兩人之間，還是對家人、朋友以及我們所關心的人。彼此，我們的家庭，我們的朋友，我們所關心的人。當一段戀愛關係涉及的問題開始嚴肅起來，並日益現實的時候，這段感情就變成了實際關係，此時的情侶認為與另一半共度餘生是順理成章的結果。如若不然，情侶則需要考慮為什麼不會這樣。

Ending a relationship is no easier with age and experience, but sometimes we become so caught in patterns and schedules, the comfortable grooves of our lives, something as disruptive and jarring as ending a relationship can seem too much effort and fuss, even when we’re not at all happy. If you’re feeling as if you’re stuck in this place, searching for signs as to whether or not to break up, check out the list of go-to signs we’ve compiled for when it’s time to bite the bullet and end the relationship.
結束一段感情並不會隨著年齡的增長和經驗而變得容易，但有時候我們束縛於繁文縟節和時間安排，習慣於生活的舒適保護，已經沒有精力和心情去承受結束感情這種有破壞性的，不和諧的事情，即使我們根本不開心。如果你被這種局面困擾，正在尋找如何處理一段感情的徵兆，請看看我們為您整理出的是時候痛下決心斷絕關係的徵兆單吧。

1. You don’t trust each other any more.
彼此不再信任

Trust is one of the most important parts of any relationship and when you lose that, it’s almost certainly time to end the relationship. The signs your relationship has gone through this is simple – you find yourself questioning the other person’s motives, abilities and reasons all the time. Everything from why she’s acting so nice to you, to how much you trust her to take something that is important to you and respect it.
信任在任何關係中都是一個重要的部分，如果失去了信任，那幾乎可以肯定是時候結束這段關係了。感情到達這一步的徵兆很簡單-你會一直質疑另一個人的動機、能力和理由。你會懷疑她為什麼對你這麼好，不知道是否可以讓她拿走你看重的東西，也不確定她是否能尊重這些東西。
If there’s mutual distrust on either side, it can lead to absolute crumbling of the relationship and the foundations it was built on, causing jealousy, anger, possessiveness and other negative feelings to leak free and poison the already tenuous relationship. Hitting this point is very hard to come back from and one of the reasons it might be right to end the relationship.
如果雙方都不信任，則會導致這段關係及感情基礎的徹底破裂，導致猜忌、憤怒、佔有慾和其他負面情緒爆發，給已經脆弱不堪的關係雪上加霜。一段感情如果發展到了這個地步就很難回頭，這也許是應該分手的理由之一。

2. You realize you have different values.
價值觀不同

We all have our own values that are important to us – security, freedom, a conservative family, a liberal family, an open marriage. Whatever your values are, that’s fine, but when they begin to rub uncomfortably against your significant other, it might be an early warning sign all is not right in paradise and it might be time to end the relationship.
我們都有自己的價值觀，而且對我們很重要–如安全、自由、保守的家庭、自由的家庭，開放的婚姻。無論你有什麼樣的價值觀，當它開始導致你和另一半之間產生不愉快的摩擦時，這可能是一個早期預警，預示著即使在天堂也沒有完美組合，可能是結束關係的時候了。

Every relationship has a process of compromise, negotiation and assimilation of your partner’s values into your life, but sometimes values are too distinct and different to ever be reconciled without a drastic compromise that will likely cause a rift as one of you struggles against what you really want and what you’ve decided you must become in order to fulfill the other person’s needs.
If this is a serious problem in your relationship, it’s best for both parties to end the relationship and move on.
每段感情都有一個妥協、談判和將對方的價值觀融入你的生活的過程，但有時價值觀差異過大，只有經過巨大妥協才能共處，這可能會導致裂縫，因為你需要做出抗爭，在你真正想要的和你已經決定必須改變自己來滿足對方需要的之間做出妥協。如果這在你們的感情中已經是一個嚴重的問題，那雙方最好還是結束關係，各自往前走。

3. You no longer make plans with him or her in mind.
你做計劃時不再考慮他/她

This one ties deeply into the idea if you’ve slowly been pushing your significant other out of your life psychologically, it’s time to actually remove them. We all make plans for the future, even if they only go so far as the next few weeks or month or so, and your significant other should always be considered as a part of them, even if the plans don’t directly involve him or her.
這個徵兆與你的一種想法緊密相連，那就是你慢慢地開始有意將另一半從你的生活中推開，這時候你需要取消這些計劃。我們都在為未來做計劃，如下周、下個月或更久的時間，而你的另一半應該永遠都在計劃之列，即使這些計劃與他/她並無直接關係。

No longer making plans with your partner in mind is one of the major signs it’s time to end the relationship – if you’re not making plans with your significant other in mind, he’s no longer a big part of what you hold dear. If you’re subconsciously seeing him in a transient way, i.e. as if he’s not a permanent fixture or a solid part of your life, then you’ve already psychologically let go and are just treading water. End the relationship so both of you can move on.
制定計劃時不再考慮你的伴侶是幾大分手徵兆之一—如果你制定計劃時都不會想到對方，那說明他在你心中的分量並不重要。如果你的潛意識中認為他只是一個過客，而不是你生命中永恒不變的人或你生活中堅固的一部分，那麼你已經在心理上放手了，你們的感情開始停滯不前。結束關係可以使雙方儘快看開。

4. You no longer have any fun.
沒有樂趣

Relationships are supposed to be fun, and joyous, and if you’ve lost that from the relationship, it might be time to end the relationship if you find yourself unable to retrieve and reawaken the sense of fun you no doubt once shared with your significant other. Days have become dull, every attempt at excitement or some happiness-inducing activity is met with malaise or a general distaste for something that breaks you out of your routine. Nothing kills so much as endless, anodyne routine, and that’s the same with relationships.
戀情應該是有趣的，快樂的，如果你在感情中不能得到樂趣，不能重溫曾經與另一半共用的快樂感覺，那可能該分手了。生活已經變得無趣，每當你試圖尋找刺激或快樂時都會發生令你不舒服的事情，或者你會反感這些嘗試，因為會打亂你的日常安排。無窮無盡且平淡無奇的日常安排最是無聊，在感情中也是一樣。

A relationship should be responsible and grown up as well as fun, so there should always be a balancing of both sides. Being responsible and able to cut loose means you have the best of both worlds. If you’ve grown tired of the relationship, you’ve got to realize life is way too short to be with someone who doesn’t appreciate the same sort of fun you have, and if you’ve had this discussion more than enough times without gaining any compromise or leeway, it might be right to end the relationship.
一段感情是應該是負責任的，成熟的，但也應該是有趣的，這之間要有平衡。既負責任又有自由意味著你充分享受了這兩種特質。如果你已經對這段感情厭煩，你會覺得生活苦短，你沒有時間和不能體會你發現的樂趣的人耗在一起，如果在這個問題上你已經和對方討論過很多次，但依舊沒有妥協或餘地，那也許該結束關係了。

5. You fantasize about life with someone else.
你幻想與其他人一起生活

Everyone fantasizes – it’s a part of human nature, the ability to dream and creatively envision that which may or may not have been, or all that could have been, in either a positive or negative way. However, it begins to negatively affect your relationship when you cannot channel your energies into being in a relationship with your current significant other, instead choosing to daydream about a life with someone else – or, more honestly,anyone else.
每個人都有幻想，這是人性的一部分，是一種夢想並有創意地想象可能不會發生，本來能夠發生的事情的能力，既可以是積極的也可以是消極的。然而，當你不能全神貫注於和當下的這段感情，而是整天幻想和別人在一起，或者和任何其他人在一起，這種幻想則會對你的感情帶來負面影響。

This isn’t the same as having a little pleasant daydream about Liam Hemsworth or Kate Upton or Laverne Cox, and then going on in your daily life. The kind of fantasizing we’re talking about here is the persistent, half-serious daydreaming about someone who’s caught your eye and whom you could seriously see yourself sharing a life with. Maybe it’s the cute co-worker who always sits next to you and shares snacks with you, or the barista at the coffee shop who knows you by name and gives you a special smile. If you’re going down this route, then perhaps you’ve already given up on your relationship psychologically and emotionally, and it might be time to end the relationship you’re currently in.
這與愉快地幻想能與明星親密接觸是不同的。我們討論的是一種持久性的，半認真的幻想，幻想對象是引起你注意的人，是你真的認為會與你一起生活的人。這個人可能是坐你旁邊，和你分享零食的帥氣同事，也可能是知道你的名字，對你意味深長地微笑的咖啡師。如果你繼續幻想下去，那也許你已經從心理上和感情上放棄了這段關係，也許是該結束的時候了。

6. You can’t see a future with him or her.
你認為和他/她沒有未來

The most important point of being in a relationship is the idea of creating a future together, shaping and designing your life you are actively choosing to share with your significant other. If you cannot imagine a future with this person, then it brings about the question about why you are in the relationship to begin with and why you’re choosing to remain in a situation with which you have little emotional investment.
在感情中最重要的事情是一起創造未來，打造並設計你主動與另一半分享的人生。如果你看不到和這個人的將來，那就要問你為什麼會開始這段感情，你為什麼要維持你根本沒有情感投資的情形。

That isn’t to say having casual relationships are stupid or pointless – they can be fun and an enjoyable experience – but if you’re in a full-on, long-term relationship with someone, the idea of spending the rest of your life with this person has to be a large contributing factor to the relationship. If you’re not seeing or wanting to envision a future with this person, then it’s time to end the relationship and move on.
這並不是說性夥伴關係是愚蠢的或者無意義的，他們可以是一種樂子，一種令人愉快的體驗，但如果你和他人建立的是全身心的長期感情，與他共度餘生的想法必須是一個重要部分。如果你看不到或不願去想象和這個人在一起的未來，那還是結束關係向前進吧。

7. You can’t get excited about the idea of marrying this person.
和他結婚不會使你興奮

Marriage isn’t for everyone and that’s okay, but a way to assess whether or not it might be time to end the relationship, is to look to a possible future and imagine yourself getting married to your current partner. Not just the idea of marriage, but the whole shindig. The physical act of marriage. Chances are if you’re at the end of your relationship’s path, the idea of marrying this person and consigning yourself to potentially years of marriage with him or her sends a cold shiver down your spine and makes you feel absolutely terrified.
並不是每個人都會結婚，這是無可厚非的，但是評判是否應該分手的途徑之一就是設想可能的未來，想象你和現在的情侶結婚。不只是婚姻的想法，而是整個婚禮過程。婚姻的物質形式。如果你的感情已經走到了盡頭，那和這個人結婚，和他/她一起過婚姻生活的想法會讓你背後發涼，驚惶不安。

Getting married is a bit of an extreme circumstance, perhaps, but the idea of any form of strong, serious commitment with a person can induce feelings of panic and fear, and might be a strong indicator and sign it’s time to end the relationship. Things have run their course, maybe, and while it’s nice to cling to the idea of changing and getting over it, it’s not fair to the other person who might be more committed and ready to take that step where you cannot just yet.
也許，結婚是一種極端情況，但是如果以任何形式對一個人做出嚴肅有力的承諾都會引起驚慌和害怕的感覺，這可能是一個明顯的預示，意味著該分手了。也許一切自有定數，雖然你可以克服想要改變的想法，但這對更加堅定，願意與你邁出這一步的對方來說是不公平的。

8. You realize he or she has become a stranger.
你發現他/她已經是個陌生人了

The final nail in any relationship’s coffin is the realization the person you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with is a stranger to you. Sure, you might have the memories and feelings you still do for this person – the weekend away, how you told him you loved him – but who he fundamentally is to you has drastically and perhaps irrevocably shifted and transformed.
所有感情棺材上的最後一顆釘子是你覺得你要共度餘生的那個人越來越陌生。當然，你對他還有記憶和感覺，如一起度過的周末，以及你告訴他你愛他，但是他在你心中的地位已經發生了巨大的變化，這一變化也許是無法挽回的。

You don’t have the same ideals, the same dreams, the same supportive bond to each other you used to have. He is not the person you fell in love with, the person you shared a relationship with, and can you really continue a relationship on that? It’s impossible, untrue, and unfair, both to yourself and to the other person involved. Finding yourself lying next to a stranger who you used to call your one true love means you have to end the relationship, or spend years in regret and lying to him and yourself about what you really want. Life’s too short, after all.
你和他之間不再向過去那樣有共同的理想和夢想，不再是彼此的支撐。他不是你愛過，投入過感情的那個人，你真的願意繼續這樣的關係嗎？這不論對你自己，還是對方，都是不可能，不真實，也是不公平的。覺得躺在你身邊的人過去是你真正的愛人，現在卻是一個陌生人，意味著你要麼結束這段感情，要麼在悔恨中度過餘生，在你真正想要什麼的問題上欺騙他也欺騙自己。畢竟，生命苦短。

 

轉：http://xue.youdao.com/zx/archives/57080