Dr. Wang Yin's drop-out application

After careful consideration, I decided to give up my PhD degree from Tsinghua University. For the reason, if you are interested, you can refer to the following article. This is the story of my life and Chinese education. A lesson in exchange for blood and tears.

Crushing Tsinghua dream-Application for dropping out of Tsinghua University
2005.9.22

The birth of Tsinghua dream

When I was a child, my mother gave me a dream. She pointed to a photo of a big brother and told me that this is my father's student. He was admitted to Tsinghua University and he was proud of our middle school. When you grow up, you also want to go to Tsinghua University to win glory for our family. I don't know what Tsinghua looks like, but I know the stories of Edison and Newton. Tsinghua is probably a place where I can be people like them. In my mind, I imagined what I could do in Tsinghua ...... There was a smile on my face. I said that I want to realize this "Tsinghua Dream ". This is the birth of Tsinghua dream.

Little scientist

I believe that everyone is similar to me when I was a child and curious about the world.

Lu Xun has his garden, and I also have my own "lab field ". If Lu Xun was an artist when I was a child, I was a scientist when I was a child. In this case, some people may say that I have a bad breath, and that's the one who closed his mouth. However, in my dictionary, "artists" and "scientists" are not really great people. They are just a tag in people's hearts. If a child is focused on his feelings about the world, he is an artist. I'm not. I am mostly interested in learning how the world works, or even at any cost. This may be the case for most boys.

When I was a child, I lived in a secondary school taught by my parents. There was a small area at the door of the two bungalows. Mom planted some dishes in the room. Although our family of three are poor, they live a peaceful and comfortable life. We stayed in this place until we went to junior high school. These houses record the exploration and experimentation of a young scientist until they are flattened.

My mother refused to ask me to raise a cat or a dog. She said she would not raise anything except me. So when I was a child, I liked to work with ant Financial. I always try to use various methods to understand the living habits of ant Financial. I can watch the ants in my house all day. I thought about what they said when they touched each other with a token and walked away separately. I was wondering if I could use a method to unlock the ant language password. I learned from the book that there is an ant in the ant hole, and she has a big belly. I began to try to fill the ant hole with water and water. Sometimes I did this kind of thing in the afternoon, but I didn't see the queen. Later, I learned that ant was such a savvy sewer engineer, and most of the water had penetrated into the ground. However, I was unwilling to give it a try. For example, place a piece of sugar in the hole. However, the Queen's shelf is too big to come out after all, so that someone else can help her deliver meals.

Some people say that the world is not destroyed by a madman, but by scientists. Only scientists in the world are terrible. For example, they will invent efficient weapons to kill people. I found that loose cotton wool can be quickly burned, and I came up with a terrible massacre experiment. First, I will drop sugar on the ground. When ant financial puts the place around it, it will put cotton on and ignition ...... I am still shocked when I think of the hard-working little blackheads turning into ashes. Will their souls seek revenge from me? Later, an upgraded version of this experiment used paper soaked in a chemical solution, which was burned by fire. Due to the slow burning speed, the experiment was not lethal, this experiment can test the escape route of ant Financial. I also conducted psychological experiments with active ant Financial. First, use a broken sock to rub the plastic ruler to generate static electricity, and then place it not far behind a walking ant. When the ant did not move, I began to speculate what it was thinking and what it felt. Does it think there are aliens? But after the ruler is removed, if it does not go on, I guess it is a bit puzzled, not panic. But after a few retries, it seems that it has gone on strike and forgets what to do. Later, I found that after being sucked into the plastic ruler, the ant will be "fired" with the same charge, just like a human cannon. Note: "Man-Man Cannon" is an electromagnetic device in the Japanese TV series "Dinosaur exceeke" that can use people as shells to launch.

A small discovery can lead to a lot of exploration and experiments. This is what I did in my time. Although my mother forced me to practice calligraphy and painting, I won multiple awards, but I don't like these things. It seems that I was born a scientist, not an art engineer, but it may be that my mother forced me to dislike art. Physics is my favorite because it helps me understand the mysteries of the world. I usually pick up all the labs in the physics book a few days before I start school, and try my best to find materials and practice them. Happy to go to school!

Fail

When I was in high school, my life gradually changed due to the course pressure. In order to be admitted to Tsinghua University, I studied hard. Drop my brush, drop the ant, battery, and coil I use for experiments, and drop everything except the exam subjects. In the eyes of the teacher, I am a good student, and in the eyes of my mother, I am a good boy. Get up on time every morning, eat a bowl of Mom's noodles (to supplement the morning's learning needs), then rush into the classroom, start reading and exercise according to the preset procedures. Everything seems to be well organized and smooth.
But ......
Suddenly one day I found that all my activities were carried out on paper, reading books and doing exercises. Exam and review books make me numb. I think that I will not be like Edison and Newton anymore. So I started to be naughty. Not only do I have to do the exam questions, but I also have to do more difficult questions. After doing the physics Olympics, I want to read the physics books of the University, and then I want to restore my hobby of experiment when I was a child. I often get stuck in some questions when I coach myself, which is actually a problem I found in my experiment. One day, when I asked him to work with me to create a magnetic levitation gyroscope, he showed impatience: "Wang Yin, do you want me to answer questions from other students first? Your questions are not good for exams ." I was stunned and inspired me to let people who fell in love with physics say this to me. Later, I thought that he was helpless, but I never wanted to ask him any questions about "super outline.

When I was in high school, my mother took back a previous quiz question and asked me to do it. When I did it, I got a result that I could get to Tsinghua. In my heart, I came to Tsinghua. Next year, I will receive an admission notice! Since then, I have no longer put the College Entrance Examination in my eyes. I began to study more and more difficult questions and conduct more and more outrageous experiments. I think I should be a student like me in Tsinghua. I will have many like-minded friends who don't need to be with this group of geeks who just want to do questions.

However, my behavior is always suppressed by the Teacher. They want to turn us into a machine for examination. They told me that they can be confident only when they are down to exercise. My mother also helped the teacher persuade me. Look, the math score of a certain person in a class is higher than that of you in this simulated test. Try harder. I don't care about this score when I hear it. I can solve more difficult problems that my teachers cannot solve. I started to reverse my mind. I started to get lazy in the morning and leave for school due to illness. The class teacher, the principal, talked to me many times and said that I would sink my mind to prepare for the test. But I couldn't hear it at all. I despise the college entrance examination and feel that they are not qualified to take the exam. Then I had a mental illness, probably obsessive-compulsive disorder. During the college entrance examination, I suspected that the invigilator thought that I was cheating. then I felt like I was afraid of being caught, trembling my hands, and sweating. Then I want to see if the test is not good. Will the previous excellence be doubted? Will they think that all my previous scores were cheating? The hand is shaking even worse. At this time, the invigilator may have discovered my situation and actually came and stood behind me. I did not dare to write a word for several minutes because my hand was completely inaudible. But he walked away, and the terrible College Entrance Examination was over.

We volunteered before the exam, and I left Tsinghua without thinking about other schools. Later, my mother studied and helped me add a second volunteer from Tianjin University. All of the following items are blank. Everyone thinks that I am bold enough, but my mental state makes me totally abnormal, which is two points worse than the lowest score of Tsinghua. Especially in Chinese, only 96 points. Tianjin University's first choice is not me. The former good student finally fell to the bottom of the rankings. Is it so nice of me? I asked myself. I am so proud that I can be so proud. I began to doubt whether I should look down on the college entrance examination. Looking at my father's sad face, my mother's nagging, is really worse than life. Reread? It would be a nightmare to continue. I cannot stay at this school any more. In the face of problems, my mental illness will make me stop myself. It happened that Sichuan University recruited high-score students and gave me the opportunity to select a major at will. My mother said that the computer is very hot now, so I can find a job. Although I am not interested in my work, I prefer to write programs, So I entered the Sichuan University computer system.

Failed to drop out twice

It cannot be said that it is not a good choice. College life is a little more free, and at least I will not embark on the road of suicide. However, my problem persists, and I will never be able to satisfy what I can learn in school. The teacher is a teacher, and I am not satisfied with this kind of education. I don't think it is necessary to go to this university.

I can't stand it anymore. I wanted to drop out of school because I had been wronged by my classmates and instructors during military training. Our military training is in a heavily guarded artillery base. Who is it to say! One day when we were walking along the road, I suddenly saw a woman holding an officer. How did the military officer's wife grow like my mother! How nice it would be if my mom came to me! I did not expect to return to the camp. The head of the team (originally the company commander. We went to military training and he went to the level as the head of the team) said someone was visiting. I walked over and found it was mom! I heard that I wanted to drop out of school. She hurriedly asked the school about the location of the military training. After several twists and turns, the officer brought her together. I think it is a good thing for my mom to be a spy. She said she had helped me drop out of school. The school agreed. She went back to review and prepared to go to Tsinghua ...... "Good Review, good review "...... My mind shows a third year of high school. This time I am going to be with a group of even more useless secondary students. "Mom, I don't want to drop out of school ."

However, after returning to school after military training, I found that my dormitory was so bad that I wanted to drop out again. My mother helped me go through the formalities again, but I had to regret it. All the teachers at the school scolded me: "You are crazy !" Yes, I do. But I am mentally ill, not mentally ill. I hate my high school, I hate my college, I hate the college entrance examination, and I hate Chinese education! You make me sick. But Mom, she has worked hard for me. I can't continue doing this. I have worked hard at school to prepare for the postgraduate entrance to Tsinghua.

The school accommodation environment is very poor, and after a lot of troubles, I finally decided to rent a house out of school. Later, I started playing skateboarding and it made me brave. My mind gradually calmed down and I was able to read the book with my heart. After my sophomore year, my learning and life gradually become normal, and my self-confidence begins to recover.

Dream recovery

I remember the first class that Sichuan University taught Pascal, saying, "Our school is lagging behind. C and C ++ are used in external companies. We are still teaching Pascal. I am afraid you will have to learn VC or something later ." As a result, some students began to take up a book such as the "XXX Bible" and began to learn these things in mathematics. I was ashamed of myself. I used learning opportunities when I was in elementary school. It can be said that there is no computer foundation. Counselors often boast of their strong hands-on ability, and the company will need such people in the future. They export Bill Gates, the richest man in the world. When I was in military training, I listened to what they said, DOS, and Wen 95, and I had to read it with my mouth open. I remembered that a question about DOS commands was not answered during my high school computer competition. Now I heard them say that DOS was an "Operating System ". What is the operating system? They say that every computer must have an operating system ...... I am really inferior to a person -_-!

When I decided to pick up a DOS book and start from scratch, I had a chance to get in touch with Linux. Later, due to the art of computer programming, he came into contact with knuth. I discovered that the things mentioned in the class were so low-level that some things were outdated when they were learned. What should I do? I am not much behind others. What is computer science? What makes people in our computer systems different from those in other systems. I sometimes think that I have an answer, but then the answer is overturned by myself. In the chaos of thinking, I found that I gradually got rid of others' standards. I don't want to take the computer grade exam as much as others do, and I don't care about Microsoft's certification. I learned Linux on my own, and many other computer languages I have never heard of at the time. I learned latex and got two check checks and some gifts because I found out the mistake in knuth. This is not worth showing off, but it is a great encouragement to my interest in computers. I have read books more seriously since then. If you want to skip the course, you will be able to chew on the original English books, such as "Dragon book" with a big part in your back. Otherwise, I won't listen to my teacher for the GNU documents I printed. I didn't go to the end of the course, but I could always score 80 or 90 points for the exam. There are always a few girls on top of me, but I don't care about this score. I can no longer comment on exams and scores. Most of my classmates thought I was a weirdo. I heard them say that they call me "geeks" after graduation ". I am so hard at learning that I have never heard of other things. My only goal is to leave this ghost place after graduation and go to Tsinghua University for graduate students. Although you do not understand what I am doing, Tsinghua teachers should care about what I have learned.

However, I did not think that when I had to read a book, my creativity was leaving me. I lost my creations when I blindly accept materials that I think are profound. I became a better technical engineer than others, and I am no longer a kind of man with Edison and Newton. The creativity I tried to save in my high school years has been exhausted. I read books in sequence and want to see them from the beginning to the end. My high school teachers finally achieved the goal of Chinese education.

Tsinghua, I'm here

During my junior summer vacation, I came to Tsinghua to get some materials for postgraduate entrance exams. This is the place in my dream. The beautiful campus is many times bigger than Sichuan. It takes me to go to the hostel only when my feet hurt. Go to the Department. A clerk gave me a copy of the document with a bad attitude. Ah, the school is so good that people have a bad temper. Let's take it for granted.

Later, I heard a teacher say that there is a kind of student in Tsinghua that is called "zhibo". He can be a doctor and earn a doctorate in five years. You only need to pass the interview. I thought this was a good way. the most annoying thing in my life was the exam. What are the qualifications of the people who have obtained the quiz questions for me! Postgraduate materials are also everywhere. After writing a few review materials, I will claim to be a "generation of famous teachers". I will make money if I look down on such people the most. If I can get the "direct blog" quota, I can get rid of them forever. Think about it. It would take six years for a master's degree to be three years and a doctor to be three years. Now, you can get a doctorate in five years, and you don't have to take the exam. That's really great. But what qualifications do I have to earn from Tsinghua zhibo? I have never heard of such a thing at Sichuan University.

So I started to call the teacher and talk to them. In the face of their brows and smiling faces, I can't help but say "no places". I feel hopeless. An Academician even said to me, "What school are you from Sichuan University? None of the second-rate universities can be considered. A maximum of three-rate universities can be considered. How can you come to me !" I was hit, but I still did not give up. Finally, I found a teacher who talked about speculation from the very beginning. He heard that I had contact with knuth and said happily, oh, I know him. We have been here for many years and made reports. I finally found the Zhiyin, so I decided to follow him. After the teacher got it, another interview was attended by another teacher. I didn't seem to listen to it seriously, so I tried to look at my test scores, which I did not think. During the interview, I put on the Mmix T-shirt that knuth gave me. They probably didn't know what it was, and I didn't mention it either.

However, the teacher only raised a question about my sports score, saying how did you score more than 80 points? Is your body competent for heavy learning tasks? I smiled and replied, I still run 5000 meters a day. Our School scored strictly. Do Tsinghua's students take 90 Physical Education Exams? The interview passed.

Letter of Recommendation and meeting

After the interview passes, I have to go back to school and complete some procedures. Transcript, letter of recommendation, and so on are similar to applying for a graduate school from a foreign university, which makes me feel quite formal. The dean is very nice to me. I agree to sign a letter of recommendation for me. But after the signature, he said to me, "You don't think %