The heart is dying

Today is a tough day for me. Just like yesterday, when I arrived at the company, I used QQ to send a greeting to Niu. As a result, Niu was not happy because of another sentence. Niu told me, she fell in love with others and wanted to break up with me. My brain suddenly swelled. I was trying very hard and it was an extraordinary effort. Niu actually wanted to break up with me, and tears were full of eyes, the snot couldn't help flowing out, And I broke my heart again. Today, I got off work and almost did nothing. Niu said that I never encouraged her, said that I was not mature, said that I only hit her, said that I only know to accommodate her, so that she became more and more independent, more and more unable to find their own value, I did not leave because of money. Say that the man is very mature and will comfort the man. If he makes a mistake, he will correct it with her. I explained a lot of things. In fact, this is one of the immature performances of Niu. "You see, you see you again, I know what you want to say ". Niu is getting impatient, but some of what Niu said today makes me feel that she has matured a lot. She said she can be friends in the future. I am a very good friend. My heart burst into pain. I am very happy to say this to Niu. But when I say this to me with my heartache, Niu is ready to leave me when she can be so clear.
 
In my expectation, the end of today is much better than I expected. At least I have never been seen as an enemy, at least I have not done anything about it. The only thing that was not expected was that before I changed all this, it was so early that I gave Niu a fuse, or fate was just like this. I thought that by the end of the year I could completely change everything. I was trying my best to break the road and make a decision, but Niu actually wanted to break up with me, I really hope that the person Niu falls in love with is a sincere and kind person who really cares about Niu. Otherwise, I will never be able to forgive myself, and I will not be able to forgive me for coming out of the predicament earlier, why can't I bring hope to Niu a little earlier. I feel like I have to break down my mind. I have always been very confident in my own mentality, but I can't go through this hurdle. I 'd like to have a friend say something in my heart, however, it is really difficult for me to find a friend who can resonate with me. I even want to consult a psychiatrist. I found that I could not escape the bad luck of others. One of my two best friends was my girlfriend leaving her when I graduated, and the other was my girlfriend leaving her at the end of last year, I cannot avoid it. Although it is a little late, I don't know if it will fade out of my memory as time passes. I have no confidence, and time will never heal the trauma of my mind, unless I can understand something. I remember that five years ago, I was still heartbroken by Niu, but after a whole year, my heartache could not be stopped. In the end, I suddenly realized that I was watching the hero one day, how small is my love, why? Everything started to get on the right track. In less than a month, Niu called from afar and said she was willing to talk to me. I couldn't believe it when I heard that sentence, I also asked Niu whether you would hurt me again or not. Niu said yes. I said that you need to know what it feels like from heaven to hell. I cannot afford it. Niu once again said it was serious. I'm ecstatic. I was so naive at the time that I thought that as long as I worked hard, I would let Niu fall in love with me completely and it would always be better.
 
The more you care, the more mistakes you make. Although I value love most, I am not good at understanding the truth. I gradually feel that everything has changed. I don't blame Niu, mainly because the value orientation of this society is too different from that of me. Maybe I am not suitable for Chinese society. My heart is too complicated. Breaking up is indeed very beneficial to my family and long-term interests. But for me And Niu, I don't know, I don't see the ending of the story. I just feel that Niu has taken a big risk. I really hope Niu will be happy. I hope the truth is that I am so conceited, so proud, and so self-centered. There are many other good men in the world. However, my heart may die slowly, so let's die. I cannot tolerate flaws in love. This is what I think the book tells about Scorpio, for me, it is the most accurate and fatal part.
 
Everything is too late. The only thing I can do now is to race against time and make it easy to recover, so that Niu can realize my good intentions. I hope one day I will understand my troubles today, or I will never know how to face my real lover in the future. Maybe I will never find someone who truly loves me. Only time will not lie. I hope Niu will understand my intentions in the future. Alas, my heart is dying, and I don't know what I'm talking about
 
After two days of execution of the plan, my heart will be destroyed and my sadness will disappear with my dream. Tomorrow's struggle will continue. Otherwise, Niu will never understand what I said, I always think that I am so incompetent.