30 humorous sighs of urban men and women

Source: Internet
Author: User

1. With her own house, unmarried women are just a few years younger and have the patience to pick up their lover. A man asks a female for advice: Do we rent a house first, get married, save money, and then buy a house? Female answer: I 'd better rent a husband first.

2. Being beautiful is a woman's Pass-an old saying is nothing more than a broken truth. Obviously it was a sugar-coated shell, and in the end it was hard to win the beauty, but it was just a treasure to her. However, even though some women lack visual effects, they often cannot decide to marry her because of the bitterness.

3. Marriage is an umbrella. With it, it is natural to be comfortable in the hot rain and rain, but in more plain weather, it is difficult to add an umbrella.

4. The woman asked, "Do you love me? "Man answers" I Like You ". The man asked, "Why don't you accept me? "You can find something better than me ". -- It seems that men and women like to Use synonyms, but a layer of skin is added to the banana, or a needle is hidden in the cotton.

5. His wife is like a dress-as popular as ever, his clothes are expensive. A man does not have a good thing-but he is, after all, the largest buyer's market for women.

6. When they fall in love, men compare women to things related to the sky, such as stars, birds, and angels, put a loved woman back on the ground.

7. The longer the old wife looks. Some people say they love each other. But the doctor said that the reason is that they get along with each other day and night, with the same diet structure and synchronization of work and routine. The leaves on the same tree become longer and longer.

8. unmarried men and women who are older are waiting for a bus. Sometimes it is because the seats on the bus are too comfortable to get out of the bus. Sometimes it is because you don't know your own platform. What about men and women who are not married for life? They are bus drivers.

9. It is a miracle that we can go smoothly from childhood to childhood. Just like the original intention to walk from Beijing to Guangzhou, there is always a temptation to say: "Get on the bus ". It's hard to move your feet forward.

10. I am very busy-when I heard this sentence, my parents worried about the health of the child. My friend thought that this buddy had a successful career. My wife immediately felt that the burden of housework was heavy. My girlfriend was crying, she began to realize that her position in his mind was not necessarily important to her career, or even a signal or excuse for breaking up.

11. A group of people are discussing what is the most risky in modern times? Hiking, gliding, extreme sports ...... Everything is said. In fact, feelings are the greatest adventure, and in any age. Because of all kinds of risky behaviors, the emotional torture makes life worse than death.

12. The person showing love is an animal and the person being loved is a plant. If love is rejected, it is of course an animal to leave, because plants will not give birth to their feet to run.

13. Xu meijing has a song called "smoke you smoke". She writes an infatuated girl to go to the town to buy his smoke. In the movie "after dusk", female stood behind Liang Jiahui and asked the clerk: Are there any ere cigarettes? There is also "the taste of light tobacco fingers, the taste of love in memory ". -- Why is it always smoke, rather than other words that can arouse the memories of women? There is only one explanation: Men's brand of cigarettes corresponds to women's love.

14. Someone confessed to the priest that he hid a person at home during the Second World War and received his rent. The priest comforted that it was not at fault. But this person asked, should I tell him that the war is over? -- When we believe that love is still there, but it has passed, and we don't want to face the reality, it seems like we're in the dark. The question is: who is collecting our "rent?

15. Having love first and having sex first and then having love, just like having eggs first and then having chickens first and then having eggs, it is hard to say which is truth and which is more noble than the other.

16. A man's biggest secret often tells confidante, not the same sex, family, or wife. When a confidante becomes a wife, her power will be immediately revoked, which is called gain or loss.

17. Many song singers have never loved each other. This is the most ridiculous and common sense. If you love it, you won't be so intoxicated.

18. The deeper the relationship, the longer it takes, the more specific the concern, from elegance to vulgarity, from spirit to body. She asked him, "Are you in a good mood ?", After getting married, she asked him, "Isn't this fish 6 yuan a pound expensive ?" Or "is your hemorrhoids okay ?"

19. Marriage is a keyboard. There are too many orders and rules. Love is a mouse, and it can be reached at a point. The memory is the most important for men compared with the host; women are like monitors, and everything can be seen.

20. A good woman is a man's school, but a good woman hopes that this good student will never graduate.

21. An unmarried woman lamented: Why did mature men and good men become their husbands? Some people reminded her that the wives cultivate good husbands by themselves, and no man can learn by themselves.

22. Do you still remember the love in the lawns and shade of a university or park? Today, the lawn is replaced by imported turf, and fewer trees exist.

23. A rock singer once sang: Find a girlfriend or raise a dog? Today, it is up to the kingbird to say: a boyfriend and a dog at the same time.

24. A man often gets a clear picture of his work schedule and his partner in his life. Therefore, he will like to work with strong female and fall in love with gentle women, drinking with the former and drinking tea with the latter, therefore, in "Fallen Angel", the killer Dawn and Li jiaxin have been in a business relationship for many years, while Mo Wenwei, a street girl, has a crush on him.

25. I am ugly, but I am gentle. Today, men and women have adapted Zhao Chuan's version: I am not perfect, but I am real. I am not beautiful, but I am very cool; I am not rich, but I am very happy; I am not successful, but I am confident; I am not passionate, but I know how to cherish.

26. birthday is a stage, a test, and an opportunity. In love, men are more likely to take advantage of this; after marriage, women are more likely to take advantage of this.

27. People often sing on the radio station, and those who wish to love may hear it. The possibility of hearing is very small, but every miracle happens. Some people say that love is a high fever, but love is a miracle. There is no more typical miracle than love in life, it can make people from ugly to beautiful, make impossible things possible.

28. Zhang Xiaoyu said: the prodigal son looked back not because of you, but because he was tired. It's like sleeping on a pillow and going out on a sunny day. However, the word "you" is enough to make her feel fulfilled.

29. When I was young, I took many photos and put them in the living room to show them to others. When I got old, I realized that the photos were for myself. The camera of a thick life is in front of us, and even the memoirs are saved.

30. When I was a child, I was very happy to eat 20 steamed buns at a time as my ideal life. When my monthly income exceeds 5000, I still cannot feel happy. When there is no shortage of career, love, family, or money, people often lack one thing-hunger. The desire to keep the bottom line is happy.

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