Husband's confession (laugh at you )!!

Dear wife:

According to your will, I reflected on my study for an hour at 43 minutes 7 seconds, drank a cup of boiled water, went to the bathroom once, and did not smoke. The above facts are correct. Please review them.

I have attached my review report. Any improper information can be negotiated.
After three months of marriage, I believe that my wife and comrades are gentle, elegant, diligent, and intelligent. They are rare and good wives. However, as a husband, I behave very well and have a light attitude, what it does is worth discussing.
The following is my analysis of my bad behavior. Please grade it by the leaders:

1. I was wrong about yesterday. Although the braised eggplant you made is a bit salty, it is delicious and it is not a waste of salt. I should not blame you for wasting salt. I want to blame myself for it. However, you can add more water.
2. When you say you like Lu Yi, I shouldn't believe that I like Liang Yongqi. It hurts you to ignore me for two days. After careful consideration, my answer is indeed inappropriate, because your> flowers are still confined to the mainland, but I rushed to Hong Kong and Taiwan, and I still like Zhou Xun.
3. If you like watching the Korean Drama's little brother Zheng, I shouldn't be blocking it all the way. If you compare me with him, I shouldn't protest because none of the other's little political brothers protest.
4. at the wedding on Saturday, I said that I had a meeting. I don't know if I can go. You have prepared two red envelopes, one for 100 and the other for 200. As a result, I didn't go, you accidentally sent out thick ones. Dear, I shouldn't have laughed at you. You have done a good job. For me, you may have sent both of them together.
5. the last time you bought the yellow croaker, I shouldn't have vowed to pretend to be a chef. As a result, when you help the kitchen, you are excited. When you smell it, you are coveted. This is unbearable for your fragile psychology.
6. you cut your hair and asked me if it looked good. I said it looked good, and you were very happy. For further proof, I said it was okay. If you asked me whether it was good, I replied, it was better than before, it makes you very sad. This is my fault. In the future, such replies are subject to the first time.
7. You have met a lot of excellent friends on the Internet. I should not use reports from newspapers to attack you. However, it's really hard to see the photo you wear a white dress. It's still the one wearing a high-collar shirt. There's a guard next to me, and it looks great.
8. When I visited your nephew, you came back to discuss with me who should wash diapers. I really shouldn't shirk my responsibility and make you angry. However, dear, this task is too far away. We will discuss who is responsible for the task. Who gave birth to their family?
9. When you accuse me of putting my sock everywhere, I should not tell you to put books everywhere. After all, my sock is smelly and the book is fragrant.
10. When you invited Cher to eat McDonald's, I shouldn't secretly kick her under the table and make you furious. But why did you ignore all my shoes?
11. When you say that I am not as beautiful as you are, I should not be stubborn. You are right, and the evidence is conclusive, so that the blind man can testify.
12. I went downstairs and dumped the garbage. You turned around me several times and asked me how many times I smoked. If I said one, you would be angry. Dear, I really don't know how sensitive your nose is. Actually, I have smoked two.

You have always been a considerate girl. I hope you can forgive me and give me a chance to change my mind. For family stability and economic prosperity, I would like to give you a few tips:
1. don't point to the handsome guy on TV and say that he is like your old boyfriend. The first time you approached the man at the second-year-old dance, you stepped on others' feet in a panic manner, unfortunately, that person is me.
2. When you shop, don't always have a whim. For example, if you want to buy a crusher and go back for garlic, don't you think my machine is more economical?
3. When you eat, you always think that I eat less, but when you take photos, you think that I am fat, dear, this really makes me very difficult.
4. Don't give me some weird questions, say it's a sharp turn, and the results make my logic messy.
5. Don't tell me a joke when I watch a gun.

For all of the above, please give an explanation. Friendly reminder: Spider appeared in the bedroom yesterday. If you need a driver, please contact sofa No. 1 in the leisure area on the west of the living room to serve you wholeheartedly.