[Reprinted] Christmas ceremony for programmers★★Spring/Summer

Computer fable spring True love and new life

1 two students

There was a student who wore ancient armor in his spare time, and now he was with those who had similar ideas, imitating Guizhou and his wife in ancient society.

Another student is majoring in computer science. He asked a student why he was walking around in a strange suit. The latter replied, "how boring the 20th century was. You spent so much time in the middle of the cold machine, and I was looking for the beauty and Romance of the past ."

Computer students smiled and led the first student into the data center. "The machines you despise here are no better than your benches? Aren't they safe in fully armed iron boxes? Three hundred years later, the children will become former computer scientists ."

2 hunters

OneProgramA clerk once invented an economic computer system. When the system is complete and installed to the location specified by the customer, he will visit the user and expect to be grateful to them.

When he walked into the hall, he found a pretty lady sitting in front of a terminal. "What do you think of this new system ?" He asked.

The lady sighed and said, "Before we install this computer," she said. "I have to talk to many people and execute different tasks. But now, I have nothing but an attachment to a terminal. My work score depends on how many on-screen demos I perform each day. Sometimes, my back is too sour ."

The programmer silenced for a moment and said, "I am the inventor of this computer system. I am very excited about the creation of this system. I must use my 1.1 tips and knowledge to make the system easy to use. I feel very sad to learn that you are not familiar with it ."

The lady touched his hand. "Don't blame yourself," she said. "How do you know our feelings and aspirations when you live in another world ?"

It is a perfect solution. That night, they both made love. Late at night, the programmer woke up for a moment. He was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling with his eyes. His Sleeping lover's head swayed gently on his chest.

3. Vision of the company's Administrative Officers

There was a company administrator who had a big house, a very expensive car, a fast computer, a rich wife and a lovely lazy woman. He traveled from one city to another and stayed in the best hotel. He drinks coffee all day and whisky at night.

One day, he was sitting on the plane, and the plane was sailing in a sleepy distance. His eyes looked out the window.

Scattered clouds cast mottled shadows in the field. When he looked down, he seemed to think that his life was as far away as a small house below, as the road network was leading to the Quartet without any goal.

The illusion has passed. When he landed and went to the wine bar and asked for a few drinks, the memories of the phantom disappeared.

4 Airlines

A programmer once created a large database that contains all the information about literature, historical facts, figures, and data in the world. Then he established an advanced indexing system to link that knowledge so that he could sail in the database as he wished. He sat in front of the computer and enjoyed the fruits of his work.

Three minutes later, the programmer started to have a headache; three hours later, the programmer felt uncomfortable; three days later, the programmer destroyed his database. When asked why he was doing this, he replied, "That system puts the world at my fingertips and I can go anywhere to watch everything. Because I am no longer restricted by external conditions, I have no reason not to know anything that exists and should be known. I can't eat, so I can't sleep. All I can do is wander in the database. Now I can rest.

5. working father

A child learned about computer graphics at school. When he got home, he found his father was typing his keyboard in front of a laptop ." What are you doing ?" Ask the child.

My father doesn't want to be disturbed. "I'm working !" He shouted.

The child glared down at the floor with frustration. "I didn't know you could work on a computer before ." He said

6. Intelligent games

A video game company hired a consultant to design the world's most difficult graphic intelligence game.

The consultant thought for many days and finally came back with a box under his arm. He walked inside,

The box was buzzing.

"Have you invented the most difficult graphic intelligence game in the world ?" Asked the Chairman.

"Yes ." The consultant opened the box and poured thousands of identical Black Blocks onto the chairman's desk.

The chairman looked at these blocks with doubts. "I don't understand ."

The consultant said: "There is another way to make a graphic intelligence game difficult to play. The first is to have a similar shape, and the second is to have a similar color. In this intelligent game, each piece has the same switch and color. Is there anything more difficult than this ?"

"However, if all the squares are the same, they can all be arranged, even if a child can arrange them together ."

The consultant nodded in a serious manner. "In life, this is the case-the most difficult problem is often the easiest to solve.

7. Email System

A company's Administrative Officer was thinking about making his staff work more efficiently, so he installed an email system.

Two weeks later, the Administrator stopped the system. When someone asked him why, he said, "As long as there is a small gap between two employees, the first employee will send an email. After reading the second employee, the employee will write a reply and copy it to his manager. Then the first employee will write another email and send the copy to the building, no one can complete the work.

When my employees become mature, they will be able to use new technologies and I will ask them to re-use this email system ."

8 ducks

A manager often said to her little daughter, "Mommy must work hard, so when Mommy returns home at night, you must be obedient ."

One day, the nanny was ill and the manager had to go to her daughter's office. Her office is located in an industrial park. The central area of the park is a huge yantang. The child is chasing and feeding the duck, and the red face is full of laughter.

When the manager once again said to her daughter, "mommy is busy with work and you have to be obedient." The child raised his cross-handed waist and his little eyebrows locked. He reluctantly said: "But Mommy... You are working with duck ."

Two weeks later, the manager was sitting in a meeting room and suddenly laughed.

9 old lady

A programmer met an old lady on the road. The old lady was working on a rattan chair, and her hands quickly wound around. To some extent, the wisteria's roughness was more helpful than interfering with her work.

"It's a beautiful chair, old lady," he said. "The vine shows the intersection of cross-opposing vectors, which expresses a multivariate quadratic equation with great significance ."

The old lady did not even look up at him. "There is a job in her hand and God in her heart ." She said.

10 have their own thoughts

A salesman is talking about the computer industry. "Once, I met a programmer ." He said.

"Really ?" Someone asked, "What does he look like ?"

The salesman shook his head in frustration. "I cannot remember clearly. When I told him how much we could make, he kept a close eye on his terminal; when I told him about the next change in the computer industry, he left without saying a word."

At this time, the salesman's eyes looked down, and a cat was staring at him at his foot, and his head looked at him curiously.

11 libei

A programmer once worked in a distant development center on a desolate island. One night, he got up and walked outdoors.

AlgorithmAnd the formula is like a ghost in his mind, constantly reminding him of the unfinished things, he feels like a huge burden on his shoulders, because the future of the company depends on his success.

It was a clear night, and a highlighted month painted the road in gray. He came to a wasteland and found many standing columns in a circle. This is an old address mentioned in the forgotten folklore that reminds programmers of what they once read in the book-these milestones were once astronomical calculators used to predict the cycle of the celestial body. He looked up and saw the final meteor as a silver needle across the sky.

He was so excited that he began to laugh. His laughter echoed in the open fields and woke up the good dreams of the ancient people who slept under the ruins of the white stones.

Summer of computer fables

Inspiration

1 spider web

A Military Minister traveled to visit a programming guru. The Military Minister thought the master was both rich and promising, but he was disappointed. I saw the master wearing a T-shirt and blue jeans, sitting in a small studio.

Armed with a three-piece military aircraft Minister, he glared at his chest and looked down at the master. "You are famous for being intelligent," said Minister of Military Equipment. "So, I ask you, what is the secret of computers? "

The master looked up and looked at the Military Minister without a word. Then he led the Military Minister to the garden where a spider had woven a net between the two. The dewdrop hangs on the Internet, and the sunlight is reversed into ten million fine rainbow lines.

The master whispered, "look at it carefully. "Then he picked up a fine branch and gently touched the spider web, and the Web trembled like a creature. "This is the computer's secret. "He said.

The Military Minister thought that the master was mocking him and picked up a stone and threw it at the net. The stone passed through the net, and the net left only the broken silk wisp hanging on the wet leaf margin. When he left, he was not smart at all.

2 two artists

The two artists talked about each other's art.

"I mix paint by myself," said the first. "I dug ore from the ground, ground them into powder, and mixed them with my spit, store the data in a dashboard. I used my ax to cut down a piece of bark and I used it to paint. When I finish a work of art, I know that it belongs to me completely. "

"I designed my own graphics program," said the second, "I fished out the program and algorithm from the dusty magazine stack. I enter a mathematical formula on my keyboard and use these mathematical formulas to draw my curves. When I finish a work of art, I know that it belongs to me completely. "

3. An ancient fable

The Chairman of the Board ordered his programmers to create a powerful giant computer.

The programmer has been working for many months. Finally, he led the director into a room filled with iron boxes with shining lights. "This is the machine I built according to your will," he said. "It can answer any question. "

The Chairman of the Board was attracted. He decided to ask the computer a question that has plagued humans since the beginning: "does God exist? "

The programmer typed the problem into the computer.

The lights flashed and the room was filled with electric heat. Finally, a deep voice came out from an iron box, "Now he exists! "

The Chairman slipped away with fear.

The programmer smiled and thought, "The fool thinks that the computer is talking about himself! "

4. Two computer users

There are two computer users in an office. The first user said, "I can't stand this machine for a moment. When I enter a command, it does not execute. Actually, it runs in one way, but then in another way. I think it must hate me, because it always seems wrong when I need it urgently. "

The second user said, "I am in front of my computer, just like a king sitting on the throne. I issued a command and waited quietly to see what happened. When my wishes are met, I am very happy. If my wishes are blocked, I will try another different command. I think of my computer as a slave and I don't expect it to be as smart as I do. "

5 programmer's dream

One programmer never writes programs at night. Someone asked him why, and he replied, "One night, I fell asleep in front of my terminal. I felt my consciousness floated out of my body, and the surplus cable flowed into the data center. I felt like I was on the host and saw those programs flying over the memory like a storm. I was quietly surprised by the perfect symmetry. I found a weapon. It was a channel connected to the outside world. I reached the telephone system through countless computers that sent information to different parts of the world. My consciousness becomes more calm. I will be everywhere for a while, and there will be no trace at all. It takes a long time. Suddenly I woke up, my head pressed on the keyboard, and the screen was full of repeated letters 'A '. That's why I didn't write the program at night. "

6. Two company administrators

The chairman of a company asked his two administrative officers to talk about their respective work views.

The first administrative officer seemed to think that there was no need to think about this issue and soon said, "my mind and body have been fully invested in my work. I have been working all night, I hope my employees have the same professionalism. I have no plans to retire. "

The second administrative officer thought for a while and then cautiously said, "each of my actions and every sentence has been processed by my own central processor. Sometimes, when I encounter a problem, I just sleep on the table for a while and woke up with the answer. When my organization reaches the ground that no longer requires my guidance, I will quietly move back. "

7. programmer's wife

A programmer invented many things, but those ideas were always stolen by others. The programmer's wife is full of resentment. She asked: "Why do you never win honors for your thoughts? "

The programmer blinks, just as he woke up from his dream. "When I program, I am in a series of chained relationships," he said. My ideas have become more specific. My ideas have turned illusion into reality, and the structure of existence is re-assembled in front of me. I have become a carrier of cosmic creativity, i'm just like riding the wings of a dragon. Why do I need to know my name? "

8. Stubborn Manager

A beginner programmer told the master that he planned to be a very troublesome manager. "With the help of my computer, I already have hundreds of millions of facts at hand. I will write a detailed report, and the manager will be surprised by my data, and change his mind. "

The master commented: "All the facts in the world cannot change the idea of a stubborn person. Once he has grasped a concept suitable for his nature, he will never recite it, even if he has a knife around his neck. For such a person, he will be indifferent to hundreds of millions of facts. "

A beginner scratched his forehead. "How can I change his mind as it is so powerless? "

The Master said, "You must forget the facts and data. Give him an idea. This idea must be able to build a bridge between his nature and the world. If it is there, it will change his mind. "

9 two managers

Two managers are in charge of the same project. They attended a scheduled meeting every day.

The day's meeting is over. The first manager walked down to the door and opened the house on his shoulder.

He complained to his wife: "I can't believe how stupid people are. Today I attended an endless meeting where they discussed things about sesame, just like discussing life and death. What I could do at that time was to control myself from screaming. If I want to work there for another day, I will go crazy. "His wife was scared by his words. That night, he was always awake and alone.

When the second manager returned home, he said to his wife, "Today is very effective. I attended a meeting where I discussed many small details, but those were just superficial things. As we continue to talk to each other, I find like a fragrant flower blooming in front of us. Really, we are the gardeners of thought.

"Then he kissed his wife, and he forgot to work during the day for the rest of the time.

10 teachers

On the sidewalk in a street, an old man dressed in a black suit is shouting and drawing from the sin in a holy book. His face turned red and his eyes filled with terrible anger. Several young people dressed in silk fashion walked by and seemed to hear nothing, as though they had just found a joke.

In the distance, a mountain looks down on the city. In the mountains, a grandfather sat with his grandson, and they quietly watched the sun sink. Just as the sunset touched the smooth and coherent horizon, Grandpa leaned over and leaned into the child's ear, gently telling him a secret.

11 saints

The Saints of all ages go down from heaven to earth to find a reliable heir. They immediately fell into a debate about the type of people they were looking.

Sakyamuni sat under a tree with his legs and said, "Of course, we must find a monk. Only the monk can understand the essence of the universe. "

Confucius licked his sparse beard. "monks only care about their own development. We should find a politician who can formulate laws to bring order to society. "

Moses crossed his arms on his chest. "politicians are always influenced by power hobbies. We 'd better find a lawyer who can explain the law. "

Jesus sighed deeply. "lawyers are often heartless. We should find a Evangelist who can teach the masses. "

The fire is shining in the eyes of Muhammad. "It's noisy. It's always loud! We need a warrior who will defend the Holy Spirit of mankind. "

Lao Tzu stood aside and did not join the debate. All the other saints asked Lao Tzu to make a judgment. "Who should we look? "They asked.

I just walked them along a rugged path.

The road turned into a road, and then the road turned into a highway. They came to a city. The dazzling light bulb and the colorful advertisement sign cover the horizon. The wires crossed over the head like a black spider's net, and the car flew over like a crazy iron shell insect. When the plane burst into a dark brown clouds, all the saints put their hands on their ears.

Finally, they came to a building. In this building, they saw a person sitting in front of a computer screen.

Those saints looked at Lao Tzu with an untrusted view, "a programmer? Are you crazy? "They asked.

Lao Tzu smiled. "Please take a closer look. In addition to the screen in front of his eyes, this person did not see anything. Surrounded by computers, he only knows the reality he has created, but realizes that it is illusory. He already excludes technology. It also surpasses machines. "