Why do women love to compare?

Why do women love to compare?

Psychologists say that women's lives have been largely spent in comparisons.
Behind the halo of comparison, revealing the woman's inner satisfaction or discontent, peace or injustice, joy or resentment. The comparison infiltration into the woman's bone marrow-to compare and live.
Men expect that if one day women don't compare, the world is a lot quieter.
　　
25 years old, prettier than anyone.
This age-old young woman is convinced of a "truth": a higher degree is no more valuable work than a good face. For them, a beautiful appearance is the stepping stone of any difficulty. "I'm whiter than her skin" "I'm better than her" "I'm more than she will make up" "I'm more than she foreign flavor" such comparisons abound.
　　
30 years old, more than the men who are around
30-year-old, basically in the whirlpool of love bath, so more capital said, I am more experienced than young women. At this age, holding a few men's list, surrounded by a few suitors, 30-year-old mature charm irresistible, sensual both rational, mature and passionate. Can look ordinary, but not without temperament, can wear concise, but not not the brand. This is the queen, defying everything.
　　
35-year-old, who is better than the car whose house is big
35 years old if you are more than a face that is a pure fool. Even the older the more popular Maggie Cheung to 35, and then compared with the juniors will think about it. Thus, the 35-year-old woman began to compare with the family. Who drives a good car, who lives in the big house, all become their content of comparison.
　　
45 years old, better than who marries.
Perhaps some people say, how 35 years old when not compared to 45 years old? Women at this time more than the husband more than the pain of their own. 45 years old, women lost 25-year-old face, enjoy the 35-year-old vanity, autumnal matron them, the old just career success, facing the outside world countless 25, 35 temptation. What tall handsome, what career success has become a fleeting, 45-year-old woman craving after the rain, husband thoughtful as ever.
　　
55 years old, better than the kids.
55 Spring and autumn, even if the original beautiful, even if the original luxury, even now couples love, everything has become a foregone conclusion. The women began to put their eyes on the child. Talk to other women the most topic is how to do their own children, how handsome!
　　
65 years old, stroll longer than anyone.
Wind and snow after the rain, old arms old legs, see who can more stroll park, more slip will bend. Looking at the vibrant, strange costumes of young people, thinking that they have been young, and young when it is so insolent. 45-year-old began to want to tour, 65-year-old, the plan can be the Chinese and foreign places to browse again.
　　
75 years old, more than anyone else's side.
Life accompany oneself to go longest is his lover, regardless of love life or slapstick life, more than 50 less 40 of accompany, has become a habit. 75-year-old, grandma show more is their own wife and Hale, even if the hemiplegia, two people can also assist each other passed his door. Grandparents want to say: we all life together to work, go home to cook, never separated.
　　
85 years old, more than anyone can breathe.
People to 70, 85-year-old people can only try to breathe more breath, more stay in this colorful days, the other's luxury has faded. So, at this time the only thing to compare is: "My body is OK!" "I haven't been in the hospital in a day!" "I have to wait to hold great-grandchild!" ”
Every woman from birth has a beautiful state of mind, compare is to let oneself become perfect instead of let oneself become humble, hope every woman compare life, win or lose, can calm through ...
　　
| analysis |
　　
Zhu Wenbo
Master of Science in Clinical psychology Counseling and Therapy, Department of Psychology, Chinese University of Hong Kong.
Expert of Chengdu Blue Harbor Psychological Counseling Center.
Chengdu A number of enterprises, newspapers, television and psychological advisers and emotional experts.
　　
25-30-year-old female comparisons, mainly from the need to compete for mate. It must be admitted that the female to pleasing the male aesthetic requirements, the internal self-value identification, self in the real crowd in the performance to confirm their mate value.
The 35-45-year-old comparison is based on the understanding of the state of existence, confirming the satisfaction of self-marital status. Despite being married, the psychological appeal of competition for a mate is so strong that it affects the whole growing period of the female, because the face is old, the beauty no longer, then turns to the materialistic condition and desires to make up for the physical weakness through the external material conditions. This is the strategy of avoiding weaknesses. At this age, the more intense the heart, the more expressing self satisfaction is very low, only with others or external standards to control themselves, can not get a real and unique feelings in the marriage relationship. But they ignore the fact that any materialistic condition can be measured and compared, on the other hand, it can be substituted, and the most important satisfaction in marriage comes from the unique experience of emotion and unique attachment way, which is the sole part of Lengnuanzizhi and irreplaceable.
The 55-year-old comparisons, when women complete the important attributes of life-the offspring, will be the focus of the comparison to the children. They need to combine their children's talents to assess the competitiveness of their offspring in future societies. This is in fact the ability to compare their own fertility and genetic advantages, disguised to meet their own vanity.
65-85-year-old comparisons, said life into the aging period, but did not understand the meaning of life, unable to live out of their own, unable to obtain the satisfaction of the process of life, but also in the hope that through and others to obtain a little self-comfort. Such comparisons may lead to more disappointment, frustration and even despair.
　　
Phenomenon 1: Parents ' meetings are staged every day
than grades
A mom: "My child this final exam got the first class, ten school exams Oh!" ”
B Mom: "My family never disdain what the exam, he only challenges the" Olympic Math Contest "The selection of the Dragon and Phoenix. Last year, the boy first participated in the ' Chu Cup composition contest ' took the first place, the school also opened a commendation conference, but the scenery! ”
C Mom: "Scenery can not be eaten, scenery and can not be the focus." My home xiaomin is very mature, the mind does not go to this piece, wholeheartedly strive for a place. This is not, a foreign language institute on the three places, our house Xiaomin to win! ”
　　
After comparing the children outside, back home all in this ratio--
Can you fight the tone to learn the big treasure, you see his mother grow with a ghost like, how others children so promising! Can't you go to a game and give your parents ptomaine?!
Play and Play! Just know to play! You see Xiaoman far-sighted, you this pig brain when will be enlightened?!
Ouch, 囡囡 that girl really good, and listen to Mother's words and distressed mother, you how not like others?!
Mom and Dad's face are all you lost!!
　　
Phenomenon 3: The husband becomes the food of the woman's mouth
than my husband's love for myself.
A: Valentine's Day, my husband sent me flowers.
B: My husband also sent me flowers, but, it is 9999 roses!
C: That is not to say he loves you, to send, like my husband, send me a diamond necklace!
　　
How much more money than my husband
A: My husband is not a rich man, but money has given me.
B: My husband said that men earn money is for women to spend, so he desperately out to earn money, I would like to spend money at home, or do not give the husband face.
C: The man who will make money will also hurt a woman. For women to buy villas, accompany women to travel abroad, Hong Kong shopping, do a man to do my husband so, I really satisfied.
　　
Outside Hyun husband, scold husband at home
Xiao Li's husband Valentine's Day bought her 9999 roses, you, even a fart did not put back!
Xiao Zhang's husband at home what live all work, Xiao Zhang married after even the kitchen has not entered, that hand do not know how delicate! You look at me, it's all half-old cook.
Xiao Wang's husband one months to her 10,000 pieces of pocket, you, even 200 yuan of clothes have not bought me.
Xiao Chen's husband has not been in the sea for a few years, but also buy a car and buy a villa, you, by the few dead wages is a lifetime can not turn the body ...
　　
Phenomenon 3: Women are more jealous than their careers
More than who's paid
A: She didn't do anything, why did she take more than me?
B: I do as much as she does, why do you take more than me?
C: I did more than she did, what salary is similar?
　　
than who is close to the boss.
A: She got a promotion so soon, did she have an affair with the boss?
B: How long has she been here, and how can she be valued by her boss?
C: She went into the boss's office again, is it to tell me what secret?
　　
More than anyone else (at this point, the competitiveness of women is relatively weak, few people to pay more than the effort, blind envy over the comparison)
A: She ranked first in last month's performance, see if she will take the first next month.
B: She became a successful woman, there must be a man to help her, sacrificing the hue is also probably.
C: You see, although she became a wealthy female boss, marriage is a mess, deserve it!
　　
| interview |
　　
Jin Li
Wuhan Heart World Consulting Co., Ltd. Chief training Tutor, senior psychological counselor
Over the past ten years, the division has explored the meaning of life from more than 10 world-class psychologists. In the personal and team counseling experience, especially good at the full compassion to accompany others to realize the origin of life, to help countless people to improve the quality of life.
　　
1, why do women prefer to compare?
I think there are three reasons for this:
(1) Men and women are born different: men are inherently offensive, women are inherently inclusive, women are easy to contact and communicate. You're going to see 35 girlfriends all right. There are endless topics to talk about: husbands, children and so on, such a conversation will naturally form a comparison. And men are mostly talking about how to make things happen because they are born to deal with and solve problems.
(2) The family education model is different: Most family boys were raised to be strong, independent and capable, and girls were raised to be spoiled and dependent on family and friends. Therefore, a woman more dependent than men, will be more afraid of losing, but also look forward to in the comparison of their own good and the value of existence.
(3) The impact of socialization: Because of the socialization of wealth and status of the allocation of more than 80% in the hands of men, women are basically still in the disadvantaged position of society, the sense of instability will be stronger, so women will be more concerned about what has been owned, natural desire to let more people know how happy she is. In particular, women and women than, as in the weakness of seeking strength, everyone is looking for pride.
　　
2, how does the comparison heart come from?
The heart of comparison comes from our doubts about our sense of worth. Whether men or women, we are in an increasingly competitive environment and need to be higher, faster and stronger to be more valuable. Value is embodied in the materialization of the part: room, car, money, status. In fact, it all stems from our desire to be recognized by others how valuable they are.
　　
3, how to adjust their comparison heart? How to turn the comparison into an effective spiritual motive force?
Compared to the heart has its positive side, as mentioned before, compare Heart will cause self-motivated, there will be more enterprising, to create a happy life to do more efforts, and we have to learn how to constantly nourish their mind on the road, so that it will not go to the exhaustion under pressure.
(1) Learn to accept the envy and praise of others. (There are a lot of people who are embarrassed or skeptical about what they are trying to do or feel they are not so good at heart).
(2) Learn to face the criticism and dissatisfaction of others. (It must be that this is not a good thing, not my bad, do not because of other people to the negation of one thing to negate oneself.) ）
(3) Learn to admit your mistakes frankly. (People who don't make mistakes, we learn more from mistakes.) One of the important reasons many people lose their loved ones and friends is that they never admit it, because it takes courage to admit mistakes. ）
If there are three points of calm mentality to do the basis, boldly to compare and enterprising bar.

Why do women love to compare?