Choice and decision vs my first choice

My first choice was "renting a house out of school". I took it as my first choice in my life. I used it as a bargaining chip and asked my parents for a break. It was my first decision ......

Decisions are painful, but thinking for the sake of decision is more uncomfortable; decisions are choices, and decisions mean that you have to give up the past; decision means that you can only use others' names to pretend to be others' surnames, and forget the real code of yourself. Such a decision is a kind of helpless shame, and it is the burden of the soul.

The decision is painful, and the process of thinking is even more miserable. The first decision cannot be realized. However, this is no longer a young child, but I already know it ......